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Episode 2077 (1 March 2001)

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Summary[]

It's Melanie and Steve's wedding day and everything comes to a head with the arrival of an unwelcome and an uninvited guest at the register office. Lisa is devastated when Phil tells Mark that she begged him to take her back. Dan shows up demanding money from Phil and, later, Phil and Ian fight in the street after Phil tells Ian that Melanie was not as good in bed as Kathy.

Phil is annoyed when some kids knock on his door and run away.

Melanie phones Steve and leaves a message on his answer phone while he listens with Beppe. Beppe asks what's up and Steve says she's been with someone else. Beppe questions him but Steve won't say any more. Billy answers his phone to a woman who asks where the wedding is, and Billy says the wedding is at 2pm. Steve arrives and asks who it was, and he dials 1471 and tells Billy he's just told Steve's mother where the wedding is. Steve tells Billy to fix the tap in the gents - it's still dripping. Beppe arrives and Steve says crisis over, he's decided what to do. Beppe helps him get ready.

Lisa arrives and Melanie is in tears, and she says Steve went really odd at the club last night - he was called away by Billy and she was with Phil, but when Steve came back he was really off with her. Since she was with Phil at the time, it can't have been him who said anything. Lisa says maybe because Steve's never lived with a woman before he's getting cold feet.

Lynne hugs Garry and says they will be wed one day. Garry looks horrified.

Dot points out to Pauline that Melanie's father hasn't turned up and wonders who he's avoiding.

The cars take Mel and Lisa, while Steve's mother arrives. Steve says if he wasn't nervous before, he is now. He says, "hello Mum - when do I get the slap - now or later?" He says he thought she was too ill to come. She calls him a liar, and he says she supposedly had only weeks to live ages ago, so don't call him a liar! She says she understands that the girl is a barmaid and a divorcee. Steve sighs. Phil arrives and asks Steve to introduce them. Steve says Phil wasn't invited and his mother says she wasn't invited either. Phil flatters Steve's mother and she calls him a nice boy and asks him if he knows the bride, and what information can he give about her.

Dan bangs on Phil's door and Garry is going past, saying that Phil won't be there, but he could catch him at the reception. Dan arrives and Billy tries to throw him out, but Dan starts eating the food. He says he's "going to be in Steve's office and when Phil gets there - tell him I want a word."

Steve takes Melanie off to see the registrar and Melanie asks if he's OK and if there's something he's not telling her. Steve laughs at the irony of that remark. Melanie fluffs her lines, and Steve hesitates a little. They exchange rings and when Steve kisses the bride he whispers, "just in case you were wondering, I know." When having the photos taken, Steve's mother says she understands that Melanie's parents are divorced - Phil told her. Melanie looks annoyedly at Phil and then he is told to stand next to Lisa for the photos and she asks if he's there to torment her. He says no, to torment himself. Melanie keeps asking Steve how he knows and he won't say. Phil tells Steve's mother that there is her first husband, and they were married for about three hours. Phil says that Melanie is very 'popular'. She says he's a gentleman and they snipe at Melanie together commenting about cheap plonk dressed up in a fancy label. Phil excuses himself when Billy comes to say Dan is waiting to see him in the office.

Phil goes to see Dan, who wants money and says it's not as if Phil can't afford it. Phil says he will give Dan five seconds. Dan says he's in with the in-crowd and Phil will need eyes in the back of his head. Phil throws his drink over Dan, who says he'll regret that. Phil says no, he can always get a refill.

Ian asks Phil who invited him, and Phil says he and Melanie are close and says "ask Lisa - go on, Lise, tell him." Mark tells Ian to leave it. Phil adds that Lisa came round begging him to take her back, and all he has to do is snap his fingers. Mark hassles Lisa to say whether she really did beg Phil to take her back. She says no. Meanwhile, Ian asks Mark what Phil meant, and says he's going to ask Phil. Phil tells him if Lisa won't tell him, ask Melanie. Melanie comes over and tells Phil to leave Ian alone and go. Phil says she's getting her husbands mixed up, and answers Ian - "you want to know what she was like - well the answer's good, well pretty good - but not as good as your mum. Of course they've both had plenty of practice." Melanie is annoyed and Phil walks off smugly, and Ian chases after him in anger, and Mark chases after Ian, telling Lisa to stay there. Ian grabs an iron bar from some scaffolding and Phil laughs as Ian flails wildly and Phil lands a well-aimed kick. Lisa and Melanie have followed and Mark tells them he told them to stay inside. Phil has Ian on the floor in a flash and picks up the bar Ian was trying to use and has it across his neck. Melanie tells Phil to stop, and he does. Phil lets Ian up and asks what they are staring at, and points at Lisa saying that she should ask Melanie to give her some tips in the bedroom department - she needs some help. Melanie, Ian and Mark go back to the office.

Back in the club, Steve finds the gents in six inches of water and makes the announcement that they all have to grab a bottle and plate of food and go to the Vic for the speeches. Billy shouts at a plumber. The drawer that held the gun last night is now open and empty!

Steve's mother tells Melanie about a girlfriend of his who dumped him when he was 16 and he went round to find her and she was there with his best friend. She says Steve's been looking for another Cynthia ever since, and she thinks he's found one. Steve announces that he and Melanie have to leave. Steve says goodbye to his mother, and she says Melanie's a tart, but a very pretty tart and he should ask Phil about her - he seems to know an awful lot!

Pauline asks Laura where Mark went, and Laura says he went to look for Ian. Steve gets in the cab with Melanie and asks it to stop for a second while he goes into the club.

Phil is back at home with several empty and full vodka bottles when the doorbell rings. He is annoyed, and says "kids!" He goes outside and shouts that he will tan their backsides. As he turns to go inside, the muzzle of the gun appears and shoots him in the back. He falls down the steps to the pavement.

Credits[]

Main cast[]

Recurring cast[]

Guest cast[]

  • Barbara Owen - Sheila Hancock
  • Registrar - Michelle Austin
  • Photographer - Gavin Payne

Gallery[]

Notes[]

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