Ted and Tony go to the station and Ted goes absolutely mad at the police when he looks at the body and he yells "what sort of girl do you think my daughter is!" Presumably they thought a homeless runaway with no money who's living rough, oh gosh, that's exactly what she is. Sarah is sitting in a doorway and a homeless guy called Jimmy harasses her. A woman called Lisa frightens him off and takes care of Sarah for a while, asking why she ran away, did her boyfriend knock her up or her father hit her, or maybe her father knocked her up? She asks if Sarah can phone anybody at all. Sarah says well, yes, but I don't want to worry him. Lisa looks at her and says sarcastically, no, it's not like it's an emergency or anything. Then she asks if she is hungry. Sarah says she's starving but hasn't got any money. Lisa says no problem, and then takes Sarah to a corner shop and tells her to go in, take some food and walk out as if she has paid for it, it'll be easy. Sarah asks why Lisa can't do it and she says that she's known to the shop, and they'd be watching her straight away. Sarah walks off, but Lisa calls her back, saying she'll look after Sarah's heavy winter coat and bag because she can't run if she's carrying all that weight and anything goes wrong. Sarah goes in, picks up a bunch of bananas, loaf of bread and pint of milk, and walks out successfully. She goes back to where she last saw Lisa, but of course, she's disappeared with Sarah's coat and handbag. She stops in her tracks in shock, and someone bumps into her and she drops all the food, smashing the milk bottle. She's again feeling totally betrayed by everyone she trusted, and she wanders around shivering, and goes to a church. She changes her mind and starts to leave but the vicar appears and asks her to stay, saying she needs help, please tell him about it. He's a down to earth type, totally unlike Alistair, and he's very sympathetic. Carol and Alan are still at Robbie's bedside - he's doing as well as can be expected, and Carol and Alan are getting on very well too. Grant and Lorraine are still arguing. Grant tells Lorraine she is overreacting at Ted giving Robbie a good smack. Lorraine is horrified again, and argues her case that a good smack is never justified, just because someone's "got it coming." What if he's wrong? What if it's me? Grant doesn't answer. Lorraine wanders out and goes to see Nigel in the video shop. She is not even put off, as most people would be, by his mind-boggling shirt of dark purple with lemon flowers all over it and delightfully clashing tie. She chats about Ted and asks Nigel if he'd ever do something like that. Nigel says he remembers how he felt when he discovered Debs' ex had beaten her up - he just wanted him to hurt, so yes, he would in extreme circumstances - like if Claire had been raped. He tells her the aphorism "Don't judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes." She says very good, where did you read that? Nigel says a fortune cookie. Lorraine is still disturbed and Nigel guesses it's about Grant really. He says that's just his way, and Lorraine explains she always thought that being inside his circle of family and friends would protect her, and she felt she could hide behind him, and felt safe. But now she realises that it's no different, and if she steps out of line, she could equally be in the firing line, and she's seen him almost hit Tiffany. She goes back to the Vic and tells Grant that she's here because she wants to be, but if he ever raises a hand to her, he gets no second chance, she will be gone. Ted is moping at home and Tony is sitting there silently. Ted suddenly says why don't you just say it - if I had been a better father she wouldn't have gone. Tony declines and Ted goes on, saying no-one harms my daughter. Tony finally has to respond, and says that Ted has done more damage to both of them than anyone else ever has. Sarah ran away because she knew what you'd do if you found out, just make things ten times worse. Tony makes his escape while Ted is speechless. Tony sees Ted in the square later and apologises, saying that he just needs to lighten up a little on his kids. Sarah talks to the vicar who offers her a totally non-judgemental view of God and even says that he can't tell her what to believe or what God is, that has to come from herself. She explains all about Alistair and the "fellowship," which the vicar has heard of, and he says he recognises Alistair's "type," with a slight frown. She tells him about firstly her brother being "damned" by Alistair, then him saying the same to her. She says rather panic-stricken that God isn't there, it's all lies, and when she "looks inside her heart" as he advises, there is nothing there. She leaves and calls Joe to tell him to meet her. He's pleased to see her and seems to be one of the sanest people in the square at the moment. He says she has to tell her father where she is as he's going mad, and he gives her a few tips, grinning and saying he's an expert. She asks if Robbie is OK, and Joe asks why. She explains the whole story, and says she was confused because Alistair had said that she couldn't be with him(Joe) and she asks if Joe is cross. Joe laughs and says of course he's not, and then she asks if he thinks she's.. you know.... he says of course not, and she mustn't think like that. He asks where she's sleeping, and she says in a church, and she has to go back there. Joe says err, isn't that where all this trouble started! She says she has to go back, so won't come home now, but will soon. Joe asks where her coat is and gives her his, and says goodbye. She returns, and there is a service on, so she joins the queue of people walking up to the middle of the church and kissing a statue of Jesus on the cross(that's his feet they kiss, not a soggy sort of kiss to his face). She kneels there for ages looking up at the statue, and presumably sorts a few things out in her mind.


In order of appearance, if anybody has this episode has a singular rather than an omnibus edition, please contribute.
Main cast

Guest cast


  • BBC1 synopsis: Sarah grapples with a crisis of faith, while Ted and Tony lock horns. Alan and Carol get some good news about Robbie's condition.
  • The episode featured the first appearance of Alex Healy portrayed by Richard Driscoll.
  • The episode was transmitted at an unusual time slot of 6:40 pm rather than the regular time slot of 7:30 pm.
  • 31st March 1997 coincided with two episodes of EastEnders rather than just one, due to an Easter special for the show.
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