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Synopsis

David is in for a shock when he boards the plane to Spain, while Steve gets more than he bargained for when he decides to try his luck.

Everyone except David travels to the airport together, David is late, and Grant comments "I never liked him much anyway." David gets a shock when he gets to his seat on the plane to Torremolinos. Bianca's in the next seat, but he impresses her with his knowledge of Spanish and says he will teach her some. Ricky looks pissed off about Bianca being so easily impressed. Steve asks David for a good chat up line in Spanish, and David gives him the Spanish for "My wife is an accountant". Steve tries it out on the stewardess and later a barmaid, and they both smile at him and say "that's nice" so he thinks it's a great line.

Upon arrival, the 6-bed apartment has two bedrooms and two bunk beds, so Ricky and Bianca get one bedroom, obviously, and Steve asks what they're going to do - Grant says he and Phil don't intend to sleep there much, so he is welcome to the bedroom. So Steve and David take the other room.

The "lads" go to the bar, Bianca and Ricky don't want to go with them, and Ricky sits down in front of incomprehensible (to him) Spanish TV. Bianca isn't impressed, and thinks they should be doing something a lot more exciting than sitting in front of the TV since they've come all this way.

Meanwhile the lads are searching for a good pick-up bar, and food on the way. They pass an advertisement for a "Gutbuster Breakfast" served all day, and Grant is keen. David turns up his nose and says he's going to look for something more Spanish, but the others sit down and are served by a fat tattooed guy speaking regional English. They ask him for a good place to go, and he says the local knocking shop is the Blue Parrot, down the road. So, after their fry-up, they go there. It's a seedy night-club, but full of easy-looking women, so they have a few drinks there. (In Grant's case 19 bottles of lager). David goes to a more upmarket bar, and chats up a good looking woman who turns up in a Jeep, and goes back to her place for the night.

Next morning, (or maybe afternoon) they all get up, eventually notice that David isn't there. Grant can't remember what happened but is told he threw up over the woman he was chatting up and he obviously underestimated the effect if 19 pints of lager (even the watered-down Spanish stuff presumably). Steve didn't have any luck with his magical Spanish chat-up line (funny that).

Bianca gets up early and swans around by the pool in very little clothing, making Ricky jealous when other men chat her up. (She also has a tattoo, which is a bit of a hole in the plot since she was only supposed to be 18 a couple of weeks ago and Carol would have gone bonkers if she'd just had it done, and there's been no mention of her getting it.)

Ricky tells one bloke to leave her alone, and he just laughs at Ricky. Grant comes over and asks if there's a problem, and the guy disappears rather quickly. Ricky continues to be dull all day and by the evening Bianca has had enough and says she's going out alone as Ricky is too boring.

In fact she thinks they are incompatible and should split up. So she doesn't care where Ricky goes and she doesn't have to tell him where she's going.

Ricky goes to the Blue Parrot with the rest of them, and gets smashed as he is so distraught. Steve is annoyed as he goes on about Bianca and puts off the women they're trying to chat up. As Phil and Grant are dancing with two women and Steve's trying another Spanish tart, Ricky gets the drinks and a group of lads sit at their table. Ricky comes back and ineffectually tries to ask them to move as his group were sitting there. They laugh at him, then Grant comes back to sit down and picks the guy up by the collar and tells him this is their table. Needless to say, one look at Grant and the lads move!

Bianca goes to the hotel bar and gets drunk on brandy and coke (which rather unbelievably was French and didn't have a Spanish-legal bottle, so obviously the BBC props didn't run to real Spanish brandy). She goes back to the room, hardly able to walk and lies on the sofa.

Back at the club, Grant and Phil have two English girls, and even Steve is getting somewhere and whispers his coup de grace in her ear. She throws her drink down his shirt and walks off. He can't believe it, Grant tells him to stick with English girls - it's easier. He says he'll have to go back and change anyhow, so he does so.

Phil's girl is quite keen, but Phil is not happy, he manages to avoid going any further by saying he's got to look after Ricky who is totally out of it by now. Grant isn't impressed by this and knows it was just an excuse to get away.

David has picked up another girl and is getting on well. He asks her what she does and then says, no don't tell me let me guess, you're a model right (AHHHH) She doesn't laugh at him so it's obviously a new one to her...!! Unfortunately she is sharing her apartment with 6 others. David has told his date a long spiel about him being a car dealer and his driver being in his room too, so he can't really go back there, but when it's obviously the only alternative, he takes her back to his hotel bar while he checks upstairs to see if anyone else is in.

Steve goes back to the apartment to find Bianca drunk on the sofa and he chats to her. In fact he gets on rather well and tries to kiss her. She says no, she's feeling ill and is going to throw up. At this point, David comes in and is furious. After a lot of chat about whether David should be interfering and Steve's incomprehension about why David should care, what's he to her anyhow, Bianca drunkenly says, he's my Dad.

Credits

Main cast

  • Michael French as David
  • Patsy Palmer as Bianca
  • Mark Monero as Steve
  • Sid Owen as Ricky
  • Steve McFadden as Phil
  • Ross Kemp as Grant
  • Jacqueline Stirling as Sophia
  • Roger Bingham as Harry
  • Monica Diaz as Margarina
  • Martine Brown as Gail
  • Yolanda Sangareau as Air Hostess
  • Amanda Baker as Young Woman
  • Alan Miles as Pool Youth
  • Roger Ratajczak as Club Youth
  • Sue Bartlett as First Girl
  • Naomi Allisstone as Second Girl
  • Suzanne Procter as Third Girl
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