Test3

Mon 3 Jan 2005

Alfie wakes up in the station and is told that Spencer already left with two blokes. Danny is driving and Spencer is sulking in the back. He stops and asks Spencer what the told the cops. Jake and Danny persuade Spencer that they only thought there was money in the bag, not drugs. They promise they got rid of the bag, drugs aren't their thing. Spencer finally says he told the police that he'd been drinking and it was a practical joke. Jake asks Spencer not to tell Alfie the details. They get back and leave the car outside Andy's house, and Spencer recognises it and is amazed that they stole it. Andy comes out of the house, and they quickly walk away from the car, saying "nice car".

Patrick opens up the Minute Mart and sets off the alarm. He forgets the number, which is Paul's birthday. Patrick says he wishes Paul and Anthony would just turn up at the shop, the Trueman empire. Jake and Danny walk in before Patrick is really ready, for a bag of crisps.

Ian takes his kids to the cafe and tells them they have to help him today. Jayne arrives and Lucy says they can go now. Ian asks how she is since David died (New Year's Eve). Jayne goes round the stalls taking breakfast orders, chatting away to everyone, and asks Zoe what she wants now she is eating for two. Alfie wanders around the market asking for work. The market inspector office is closed. He helps out "Ted" who gives him a couple of quid but says he has already lined up a casual worker for today, Alfie should have asked sooner. Ian mentions Jayne's situation to Alfie, and neither of them can think of a way to help her. Alfie wanders around looking for work, and Den sees him and says the money (that he offered previously) is still there. Alfie refuses again. Alfie asks Jayne how she is and she is annoyed that Ian told him. Ian suggests she go home. Lucy comes in and Ian tells her about Jayne's husband, and she goes outside to talk to Jayne and she says she's sorry for being naughty before, she didn't know about Jayne's husband.

Jayne goes back to the cafe and Ian tries to cheer her up. She whines on about betraying her husband by shagging Ian. He says that he wants her to know that it meant a lot to him, and if she needs to get away from home, there is always a place on his sofa.

Dennis is out for a run and passes Zoe who stops him for a kiss, asking him to "get together" this afternoon, she will get Nan to cover the stall. Dennis asks what for and she is coy, saying just to spend time together, obviously meaning to have sex.

The four Moons chat at their flat, and Jake offers help. Danny says credit card fraud never used to bother Alfie, why is he working for nothing now? Alfie tells them to leave, as he needs to talk to Spencer. He tells Alfie about the bag and Alfie says did Spencer see them actually get rid of the bag? Spencer promises that this is the end of it. Jake and Danny sit around the launderette and say if "they" (the people chasing them) knew where they were, they'd be dead. Den arrives and sees them which gives them an idea. They go and see Den, who is rather annoyed that they walk in the back door, and tell him it was open. They tell Den that Alfie wants the money he's owed. Den says he refused it half an hour ago. They says that if Den gives it to them, they'll make sure he gets it. They pay the fish stall bloke to give Alfie a job, keeping him out of the way. Then they go home and make sure it's empty, then hide the bag in a corner.

When Andy gets into his car, he notices the wrapper of the food they gave Spencer on the floor. Andy is furious and walks across the square and shouts at Jake and Danny, accusing them of stealing his car. Danny is flippant and says "that car? It doesn't look nicked to me"  He turns his back on Andy who grabs his arm and says he doesn't know who he's dealing with. Jake stands up to him, telling him to shut his mouth, or back up his threats, and walks off, with Danny adding that he ought to check his upholstery - crumbs everywhere. Andy is furious. Alfie looks awkward.

Tue 4 Jan 2005

Directly after yesterday's episode. Alfie has a go at Jake and Danny for annoying Andy, who immediately goes off to ask Eddie (that was a short holiday wasn't it!) to dig up dirt about them. It comes back interesting, and Andy is clearly impressed by the class of villain they are apparently mixing with - Johnny Allen.

Den sees Zoe carrying boxes of stock and reminds her she's supposed to be pregnant and avoiding a miscarriage (actually I would have thought she'd be doing this deliberately, so that she has an excuse). Zoe's teeny little brain is spurred into action and she starts telling Little Mo that she's afraid she'll have a miscarriage. However, when she later tells Den that she's going to tell Dennis this, he says that the first thing Dennis will do is take her to hospital and they will discover that she was never pregnant. He tells her Dennis is a bloke, just press the right buttons and he will be keen for sex. However, Zoe is too stupid to do this, and her attempt is cheap and slutty so that Dennis practically shudders with disgust, and reminds her that she will be a mother soon, so should act like it. He concludes no, and that's final, and he certainly seems like he means it, apparently losing Sharon means he has sworn off sex for good, and he clearly isn't remotely interested in shagging Zoe, and no amount of tarty underwear or suggestive comments will do any good. So, luckily for Dennis and unluckily for Zoe, there is absolutely no chance at all of Zoe really getting pregnant by Dennis.

Andy catches up with Jake and Danny in the bookies and drops Johnny's name. They are a bit rattled so Andy contacts the man.

Sam collects rent from the Ferreiras, so obviously Marcus forgot to tell her to sell the portacabin.

A smartly dressed man, obviously a gangster so presumably Johnny [actually Billy Murray/DS Beech in the Bill, who has been in just about every UK police programme since Softly Softly] turns up and asks at the Minute Mart for Pat Harris. Patrick and Yolande don't know Pat's maiden name so say they don't know her. Stacey takes Lucy into the shop to help her distract Patrick - actually he's asleep so that was slightly redundant. Yolande arrives and tells him to wake up just as they are stealing an alcopop, and she accuses Stacey who has managed to hide the evidence, so Lucy is the one carrying the stolen drink. As Stacey tries to persuade Lucy to steal something by herself, Lucy gets a call from Ian to go shopping so she dashes off.

Stacey throws the empty bottle on the floor and Johnny tells her to put it in the bin. She complies.

Kate has an interview, which goes OK until they ask about Phil, then Kate gets stroppy and says she doesn't regret what she did, which must be a bit of problem for her new colleagues now that he's a wanted fugitive on the run. Kate goes back to the pub and Sam asks her about the nail bar. Chrissie kindly suggested to Sam that she may be interested, as she is selling her share, and Sam tells Kate that she wouldn't interfere in the daily running of it. Kate is in a bad mood after her poor interview performance, so declines.

Jake and Danny arrive home with Alfie to find Johnny Allen chatting to Nana. He tells them sharply to get the bag and come with him. They meekly follow. Johnny opens the bag and [totally inconceivably] is horrified by drugs, calling it filth [what sort of gangster is he, even more wimpy than Andy?], and he says they may have done him a favour, as he had suspected that the deal was dodgy, and now he has the proof. Johnny now seems to be on their side as he tells them that if they are caught, it will come back to him, so he wants them to stay in hiding. He tells Alfie to let them stay, and reminds him that Peggy Mitchell was good to him when he arrived in the square (where on earth did he get that information?), so give his cousins a chance too. He also reminds him about the prison spell he did taking the rap for them too, and says it would be a favour, and there are not many people that Johnny Allen owes a favour. Alfie agrees.

Johnny arrives at the bookies just as Sam is passing and Andy has a few harsh words. Johnny asks for a word and Andy explains it's the local tart. Johnny says he thought it was the Mitchell girl, and Andy's wife. Andy looks annoyed at the background information Johnny has, and his obvious knowledge of the Mitchells. Johnny tells Andy he wants him to employ Jake and Danny. Andy asks what's in it for him, and Johnny says seriously "nothing" [with the obvious implication that if Andy doesn't help, something bad will happen]. As he gets in the cab to go he has a quiet word with Jake, telling him to keep his brother in check.

Thu 6 Jan 2005

Dennis leaves the flat for work, telling Zoe rather brusquely to watch her drinking tonight, it is bad for the baby.

Dennis comes out of the club with his washing and Andy asks whether they've found anyone to buy it yet. Dennis says no. He goes to the launderette and Dot goes on about the baby. He says he will do his duty, he knows what is expected of him. Dot says it will need love, and Dennis looks evasive. Dot says he'll be surprised how much he loves it when he sees the tiny baby, and it will depend on him for everything, he will have to provide everything for it and she adds that it will be the making of Dennis.

Andy sends Jake and Danny off to wash his car, and Danny isn't impressed. Alfie tells them that Andy is trouble, and Danny asks what went on with him and Andy? They dismiss Alfie's concerns.

Sam chatters on to Minty about her new business, and he asks her if Peggy has agreed to sell the car lot. He asks if she's being a bit hasty, and she says no, and rudely dismisses his concerns saying he has no clue about business.

Dominic Price comes to talk to Kate, saying she's got the job. She is amazed after the interview went so awkwardly. He says it's working for him, in Brighton. Kate isn't sure about moving away.

Billy asks Alfie to come to the Vic for a Christening meeting. Mo and Alfie are both a bit awkward about it, as they have always been around each other, ever since their Christmas kiss. Jake and Danny tease Alfie about getting ready, saying that he is obviously making a special effort to impress a woman.

Sam goes to see Kate and puts forward her proposal, which is very ambitious, and Sam says she would only be in the background for strategy, nothing to do with the day-to-day business. Little Mo is there for a manicure, and Kate explains about her job offer, and Mo says she'll be great.

She sees Ian in the cafe and says she is looking for work opportunities. Ian says he needs someone, perhaps they can help each other out. Sam says she has a business opportunity she is considering, and Ian says oh, it was just someone to work in the chippy, since Bob has just handed in his notice. Sam says she's looking for something a bit better than that.

Dennis shows an interested party around the club. She says they would make a fresh start, rehire all new staff. Dennis is upset and suddenly realises that most new owners will do this, so when she's gone he immediately calls Andy. Zoe arrives and Dennis is snappy and tells her that this isn't a healthy place. She snaps back is she supposed to stay at home for nine months. Andy walks in and says Dennis is probably only suggesting that she needs to take care of herself. He smirks that he never thought he'd see the woman who could pin down Dennis. Dennis tells Zoe he needs to talk to Andy alone. He says he understands what Andy wants with the club, to launder money, and he can run it for him. Andy says Den won't sell it to him, and Dennis says offer him more money. Andy points out Dennis has no money and Dennis says "so you lend it to me". [What? If Andy had more money then he'd simply use it to pay for the club, why lend it to Dennis for him to pay for the club?] Dennis pleads with Andy, saying he'll be out of a job if the club is sold to anyone else, and with no qualifications and a GBH rap, he has little prospect of getting another job, and he has to pay rent and Zoe's baby. Dennis looks a bit desperate, and Andy picks up "Zoe's baby?" Dennis corrects himself, "my baby". Andy is sceptical, and also genuinely concerned for Dennis, and Dennis says, looking pained, that he knows Andy doesn't understand, but he has to do this. Andy says Dennis can push a pram around, but how long will he stick it before he goes mental? Dennis says, a bit doubtfully, that he will stick it. Andy says pragmatically, and with certainty no, he won't, but it'll be fun watching. However, Andy obviously does want to help Dennis, [Dennis must be Andy's only real friend, apart from the hired help] so Andy says all right, he will see what he can do, but can't promise anything.

Dennis sits in the club looking really worried. He goes to talk to Zoe who nags him about Andy and says he can't work for him. Dennis raises his voice and says in two weeks he won't have a job, and in 8 months time, they will have a little baby, so when is she going to start thinking like a parent? He storms off saying that he is trying to make this work - end of. Zoe is irritated, and she has to go off for her godparent meeting with Mo, Billy and Alfie in the Vic.

Martin and Sonia are back and Jake offers to buy them a drink and tries to explain about Spencer. Martin is cross, but Sonia agrees to accept the drink.

Kate visits Sam, and tells her that things have changed, and she needs to sell the whole business. Sam says there is no way she can afford the whole business and asks why. Kate says she is rejoining the police, and Sam is horrified after what happened with Phil and tells Kate to get out. Sam is upset and Minty "cheers her up" with fizzy wine in tatty mugs. He says he doesn't mind her staying here, he's happy on his sofa, and she can't afford to move out without a job. Sam goes to ask Ian for the chippy job after all.

In the Vic, Zoe is uncomfortable about Billy and Alfie joking about Dennis changing nappies, and how amazing the odds of that were, and generally rambling on about babies. Zoe makes an excuse to leave the table, and then sees Andy. She is as rude as usual, asking Andy what he's doing with Dennis. [I can't imagine why he doesn't tell her to mind her own business, as she is always unacceptably bitchy and rude when talking to him]. Andy is terse, but tells her that he's helping Dennis out - Dennis needs a bit of looking after. Zoe whines a bit and Andy says Dennis is obviously very worried about losing his job, and don't blame him - he is not the one putting a noose around Dennis's neck. Zoe is offended by this, but Andy justifies his remark, commenting how convenient her timing was - one minute Dennis is running off with Sharon, the next, she was pregnant and Dennis is staying. Zoe is almost dumbstruck to discover that Andy knew all about Sharon. Andy says he knows a lot of things - he and Dennis go way back. Zoe starts wailing that it was an accident, she didn't want it to happen any more than Dennis. Andy says whatever, and adds with finality that Dennis will try to make it work, but it won't. Zoe is very rattled by Andy's perceptiveness and close friendship with Dennis.

Zoe has a frantic word with Den asking to meet him in the flat. She leaves the Vic christening meeting, and Billy is worried about not having sorted it, and it was his fault for talking about Dennis. Alfie tries to lighten his mood by doing godfather (Marlon Brando) impressions. Billy get very irritated by people not taking the Christening seriously, and leaves, telling Mo to stay and have a drink with Alfie, he will get Freddie. Alfie and Mo both look a bit embarrassed at being alone together, but then have a really good laugh and enjoy each other's company as Alfie walks Mo home. Alfie says how odd it is leaving the Vic, now he has moved on. Billy invites Alfie in, but he declines and kisses Mo on the cheek as goodbye.

Andy goes to the club and says it's looking OK, and Dennis says it's OK for a Thursday night. Andy says he'll have a scotch, on the house, call it a down payment on his loan to Dennis. Dennis is pleased, and cracks a rare smile, and Andy grins "what are mates for?"

Den lies to Chrissie and goes to meet Zoe in secret. He is annoyed at her dragging him away in front of Chrissie, as this was really suspicious. Zoe asks if Den can stop the club sale. She says she's worried about Dennis, he met Andy about the club, and she thinks Andy may find out. Den tells Zoe so what, Andy is interested in buying the club. Zoe tells Den Andy knows all sorts, they must tell each other everything, so if they work together how long until Dennis starts asking questions too. Den tells her to keep calm, and tidy herself up, put some make up on, she has her end of the deal to keep up - ie getting pregnant. She adds that Dennis mustn't know she told Den all about Andy, he'd never forgive her. Den sighs yes, he can keep one more grubby little secret.

Fri 7 Jan 2005

Den is playing pool with himself at 5am, and Chrissie comes to the bar to tell him to talk to her about what is worrying him. Den says blathering on about things doesn't fix anything. Chrissie tells him to focus on what he's got rather than brooding about what he has lost. He says she doesn't have kids, so wouldn't understand, which annoys her intensely, since she says it wasn't her decision not to have kids with her.

Kate packs all her stuff up and Sam has a dig at her.

Jake and Danny wind Alfie up about Mo, and he says she's his sister-in-law and he is godparent to her child. They go to see Andy who berates them for being late and Danny answers back with stupid lies for excuses.

Zoe moans at Dennis for not coming back last night. Dennis says he was having a drink with Andy, so stop stropping because she will benefit most from it. Dennis says he has to ask Den - Zoe didn't tell him about this did he? Zoe says no then whines on and on about them spending time together, and Dennis snaps that he is busy with Andy, and he is doing this for her and the baby, remember.

Dennis passes the nail bar and asks Chrissie for a word. He explains about the club and asks her to be there when he asks Den, as this might keep him calmer about selling the club. Chrissie gets a letter from Vicki, and reads it to Dennis, she and Sharon are with Michelle in Florida but she asks that Den doesn't try to call her. Chrissie tells Dennis he'd better not try to ask Den today. Den is moody after reading the letter.

Den goes to see Dennis and asks him directly about the club, so Dennis explains about Andy's loan to him and the new offer. Dennis asks him to think about it, he says he is trying to think long-term, and it is Sharon's decision too, perhaps Den should ring Sharon. He says Sharon's number is at the top of the letter. Den says no, the letter says Sharon doesn't want him to phone, and he adds that he is sure she won't want to speak to Dennis either (why?!). Den says they may as well close up the club. Dennis is really upset. Dennis says angrily "you blame me don't you? " Den says unconvincingly it's just economics.

Ian was planning to accompany Jayne to her husband's funeral, but then she says it's inappropriate for him to be there. However, she asks Ian to come with her to collect the things and she cries a bit.

Jake finds out Danny has kept some of the forged notes. Jake also asks Alfie what went on with him and Andy, and says Spencer told them there was something. Alfie won't say and then goes to tell Spencer off. He calls Maxwell and tells him that he needs Spencer away from the boys for a bit, and agrees to pack him off. Jake tries to apologise to Alfie who replies that all Jake has to do is keep Danny contained, then they'll all be fine.

Zoe goes to the Vic and tells Den that Dennis won't sleep with her, all he talks about is the baby, and he walked out this morning without even looking at her. Den shows her Vicki's letter and says try a bit harder, or this will all fall apart. Zoe realises that Dennis knows where Sharon is, and Den says she is supposed to be 6 weeks pregnant, there is a shelf life - the clock is ticking and as soon as Dennis realises there is no baby he will be off.

Dennis tells Andy the bad news, and Andy says the offer will stay open and adds that Dennis could have come to work for him.

Kate says goodbye to Sam in the chippy, and Sam assumes she is there to gloat. Kate says she had hoped to be friendly, and Sam says well they aren't friends. Dennis says goodbye to Kate and she wishes him luck with the baby and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

Chrissie tells Den that she has been thinking about what she wants, and she wants a few things - firstly get rid of the pool table, which Den agrees to readily, and secondly, she wants a baby. Den is surprised and asks why now. Chrissie says she has always wanted one, he knows that.

Zoe cooks for Dennis, and says she's sorry about the club, and she has set up a romantic evening of dinner and wine, and then.... Zoe kisses him seductively and says of course the dinner could always wait. Dennis is not remotely interested and tries to push her off, saying he has had a really bad day. She then makes herself about ten times less attractive, and screeches and whines a lot, nagging on and on about how Dennis never touches her, and he's cold. He says he needs this like a hole in the head (actually, that is precisely what the whining little bitch needs herself, does she never stop being a nagging witch?) She screeches on that all he sees in her is a baby, and Dennis sighs no, adding in horror, she is saying the only way he can prove it is to screw her is it? Is this what the nympho Stepford Wife act is all about? Zoe whines more and Dennis says she has got to stop living in the now, they have years ahead of them (he makes it sound like a prison sentence). She starts to whimper and beg for sex, and Dennis says in revulsion don't beg, that's just disgusting. He is horrified that she was trying to get him drunk just to get sex, and Zoe runs out tearfully saying she has to get a dessert.

Zoe runs to Den and screams loudly that it's all over, Dennis is not interested in her, she will never get pregnant, and Den tells her to shush, Chrissie is just in the next room. She screeches on a bit more in panic, and Den says resignedly well, he supposes if Dennis isn't up to it, he'll have to do the job, he should have thought of that solution earlier.

Mon 10 Jan 2005

Following on from Den's proposition to Zoe, Zoe says Den is disgusting, and Den says he is just being practical, another little lie to Dennis won't make any difference. Zoe shrugs off yet another "christening meeting" invitation from Billy, this time it's with the vicar.

Alfie is in the Vic with Jake and Danny when Andy makes a snide little dig at him about being in the gutter. Alfie cheerfully says he can sell anything, from clothes to fresh fish. Andy replies that everything he's had of Alfie's has been rotten [well, can't dispute that Kat was well past fresh] Danny clearly wants to get some revenge on Andy for all the menial jobs he has been giving them.

Dennis is in the cafe looking in the paper for jobs and Zoe suggests looking for a job away from here (obviously desperate to escape Den's clutches!). Den comes in and overhears, and isn't pleased by this remark, so looks daggers at Zoe. Dennis is just surprised at her suggestion, as he says this is their home.

Stacey takes Lucy off for more shoplifting, (she has just stolen some red underwear from Zoe's stall) but Yolande notices what Stacey is doing and makes a comment to Patrick about him not paying enough attention to customers. They seem to be niggling at each other and Dot mentions it to Pauline. Stacey's annoyed with Yolande so puts the red lacy underwear in with Patrick's washing. Dot and Pauline raise an eyebrow and then Yolande comes to collect it and says it's not hers and throws it out of the washing bag.

Jayne is worried about Peter being left alone while Lucy goes off with Stacey. Ian tells Jayne that Spencer has left with no notice, and she says it's lucky that she's here then, and he can go and check on Sam. Ian notices that Sam isn't wearing her very unflattering cooking hat and says snobbishly that "it doesn't suit her". Ian tells her it's health and safety regulations. She sighs and puts it on. Sam goes to the Vic for lunch and Danny tries to talk to her, and she makes sarcastic remarks about his chat up lines. He says he will have to change his eating habits and come to the chippy now he knows she is there. He waves a huge roll of 20 pound notes (obviously the dodgy ones, since he couldn't possibly have that much cash) and says he'd like to take her out. Jake walks in at that moment, and is furious and drags Danny away. He asks Danny how much he stole, and he is trying to keep them out of trouble. Danny admits he took about �000, because no-one knew how much cash there was anyway. Jake asks if he spent any of it here and points out that if locals get the police chasing them for having dud notes, there will be trouble.

Chrissie nags at Den about the baby and he avoids it again, and he asks her to look after Zoe for a bit, as Zoe thinks Dennis doesn't care about her. She takes Zoe shopping and tells Dennis to go and see Den. Den follows up the conversation about them leaving the square, telling Dennis that Zoe is one in a million, giving up her home for a new life with her fella somewhere else. Den makes some remark about how Zoe probably has it all planned, moving into a new house somewhere with the baby and making a new family, and Dennis looks miserable. Dennis says that he doesn't know why Zoe said that, as he doesn't want to move away. Den says why not, and winds Dennis up, saying that he has to go where the work is, and children are expensive, and he has to think of the money he will need for nappies. Dennis looks quite upset at the thought of moving and the haste with which Den is apparently trying to get rid of him. Dennis says what about working here in the Vic, and Den acts reluctant and says Dennis wouldn't want to work for him, would he? Den has played the reverse psychology well, and Dennis says why not? Den says OK, then, start now, wipe some tables and collect glasses. Den can't hide a gloating smile.

Little Mo receives a letter from Graham's mother, which she hides from Billy. The vicar comes and Alfie is there with Billy and Mo to talk. The subject of Freddie's birth comes up and Mo admits that she was raped to the vicar. It's all rather awkward.

Andy goes into the chip shop and Sam is nasty to him. Andy says the greasy little uniform and back street chip shop suit her well. She pours a huge amount of vinegar over the chips he asked for so he walks out without them. Danny has followed Andy in, and is eavesdropping and playing the fruit machine. Andy tells him he should be back at work. Sam follows Andy to the door and throws the bag of vinegar and chips over Andy's head. Danny looks interested, obviously making notes of all the people who hate Andy!

Out shopping, Chrissie and Zoe talk, and Chrissie says she wants children, and Zoe is lucky to have a man who wants a baby. Zoe moans that Dennis is acting differently now, he doesn't want to know - he is totally ignoring her and won't come within 20 feet of her now. Chrissie tells Zoe to play games - he is like Den, and perhaps he needs to be reminded not to take things for granted. They come back to the Vic, and Zoe is worried when Den smugly tells her and Chrissie that he has given Dennis a job here as assistant manager and then he swans off. Chrissie is annoyed by this, and Dennis asks her if she's OK about it, and if not, he'll talk to Den. She says no, it's OK, she'd like to have been consulted, but it probably wouldn't do any good him saying anything anyhow. Dennis agrees, and says that is Den's style to share being boss.

Zoe gets all dressed up in some whore outfit that she just bought, and Den says she needn't have done that on his account! Zoe goes to the bar and says what do you think? Everyone in the bar whistles, and Dennis is furious, and tells her she forgot to put the rest of her clothes on. He says she is going to be a mother! Zoe says he'd better make use of her before it shows ("make use of?" Is it really her only ambition in life to be a sperm receptacle? She can't even get her boyfriend to agree to do it with her!) Dennis is horrified by this slutty attitude especially when Zoe says she hasn't changed, she isn't just a mother. He tells her to go upstairs and get changed. She tries to get him to come with her and says loudly "are you going to make me beg for it?" Jake asks for a drink and Dennis says to Zoe "watch your mouth" Zoe latches on to Jake, who is possibly the only bloke in the bar who didn't look eagerly at her tarty outfit, but after Zoe makes it clear she's after him, he is slightly lukewarm. He gets his drinks and she says "where were we?" Jake replies unenthusiastically "I didn't realise we were anywhere". Zoe says buy me a drink and we might be and says dismissively to Dennis "a rum and coke". At this flagrant disregard for his baby's health, Dennis loses his temper and grabs her arm roughly and says "upstairs". There, she laughs and says it was nice seeing him steaming in like a cave man. Dennis isn't laughing and says is she completely mad? She is having their baby and she's in a smoky pub poncing drinks off blokes who are ten a penny: she is acting like nothing has changed. Dennis says she's not a little girl out on the pull. She says she's not, she just wants him to love her. Dennis says he is trying to support her, he is even working for the old man. Zoe says she said love. She tries to hug him and he backs off, so she pathetically closes her eyes and purses her lips saying babyishly "kiss?" Dennis just stares, unattracted, at her stupid little face and says embarrassedly once she's had the baby things will be back to normal, but he won't wake her up when he comes in. He storms downstairs and Den rushes up there. Zoe is getting changed into her ordinary clothes, and quickly pulls some clothes over her chest, despite the fact that what she is wearing now covers a lot more than the slapper outfit she paraded around the bar earlier. She says to Den "get away from me." Den says ominously "clock's ticking, Dennis is expecting a baby, what's it going to be then?" [Just how thick is she? As soon as Dennis hears any medical opinion, it'll be obvious that the baby is almost two months younger than it was supposed to be, and since Dennis has been totally celibate all that time, it is never going to work anyhow, so it's a total waste of Zoe's life to get pregnant by her reluctant boyfriend's father! Not that her trashy life was worth anything before.]

Tue 11 Jan 2005

It's next morning and Little Mo asks Zoe what is wrong. She says (horribly ungrammatically) that she and Dennis aren't "getting on too good". She whines that Dennis doesn't love her, and Mo says when he feels the baby move inside her, it will change, and it's magic. Zoe goes to the cafe and sees Jake and says hello. Den walks in and tells Zoe she was a disaster last night, she didn't exactly have the desired effect on Dennis, but his offer is still open. Zoe says she wouldn't sleep with him if he was the last man on earth, and Den says in her situation, he more or less is.

Danny tries to chat Sam up in the launderette. She accuses him of bringing a message from Andy and he pays for her laundry. Jake and Danny are in the cafe, where Danny tells Jake that he burned all the dodgy money, and that Zoe was eyeing him up, he should get in there. Alfie arrives and chats, then Andy arrives. He tells Danny that if he's eyeing up his wife, feel free, what's mine is yours, eh Alfie? Alfie says forget it, she is having Dennis's baby and is his stepdaughter. In the square, Danny tells Jake that Zoe is still eyeing him up. Jake goes off with Andy and Danny goes home and Nana catches him doing putting something down the back of the sofa (dodgy money I presume).

Chrissie has planned a whole day with Den, for him to make good on his promises to renew their wedding vows and look after her. She asks Dennis if he minds working both shifts and he says it's fine. Den makes a comment about Zoe, asking if she minds him working, and Dennis shrugs it off. Den goes to see Zoe and she says he is sick, and she will have nothing to do with him. Den says if she does, she'd better make sure the bloke doesn't talk, because that's what blokes do - brag, and if Dennis finds out, she will be in trouble.

Zoe asks Alfie about Jake, and Alfie says he doesn't say much, he's a bit like Dennis in that respect.

Patrick is worried about Paul, eventually but he is also neglecting his shop work and Yolande is annoyed at being left with it.

Billy finds Little Mo's letter from Graham's mother, and doesn't tell Mo he has found it. However, this makes him go to the Vic, and get drunk, so he stands her up for an appointment that they had to take the baby swimming. Alfie takes him home and explains to Little Mo. Billy and Mo argue about it again, with Billy saying that if she lets Graham's mother be the child's Nan, then he is right there between them again. Billy rips up the letter, saying this will sort it out, and they apologise to each other.

Lucy goes to the chip shop and tells Sam that Ian told her to get 10 quid from her. Sam says sceptically shall she call Ian or perhaps Lucy would just like a bag of chips instead? Sam says conspiratorially to Lucy that when she was her age she used to try that too. Lucy replies nastily "and when I'm your age I'd better not be working in a chip shop."

Danny asks Patrick and Jim to put bets on for him, obviously using the dodgy money, and his excuse is that he is an employee of Andy's so can't do it himself. He loses about �000, but is cheerful about it. He asks Andy where Jake is and distracts him slightly while he looks at the till full of money. Jim lies to Dot that he was at the library, but Patrick admits the truth to Yolande, who berates Jim in front of Dot.

Zoe goes to the Vic to see Dennis, and he looks less than delighted to see her. She tells him she will stay in tonight and looks tearful, saying that she's sorry and will only do something wrong if she comes to the Vic. Dennis says that's not the case, stop saying she's sorry, and Zoe says it's the truth and goes off sulkily.

Danny chats Sam up again and asks what she sees in Andy, is it the suit? He can get a suit and scrub up well if she likes that. He finally makes her smile.

Zoe sees Jake in the cafe and asks him if he's alone. He replies sarcastically "no I'm surrounded by my imaginary friends." She asks him to go out with her for a drink, and then see what happens. Jake asks "what's going on here?" Zoe says "one night, no questions." Jake says "I don't think so, another bloke's girlfriend, no problem, but another bloke's pregnant girlfriend, well, call me old-fashioned, but I do have a problem with that." Zoe follows him outside and begs a bit (she's had a lot of practice) and finally she grabs him desperately and kisses him. Meanwhile, Dennis was concerned about Zoe's strange comments and goes to see if she's OK, and as he walks out of the Vic, he sees them kissing, so immediately goes over and punches Jake. She says she wasn't..., and he shouts at her, saying what makes her think he wants to stay with her now? Den and Chrissie arrive back to see all this, and Den sends Dennis back behind the bar and shakes his head at Zoe's clumsiness and stupidity. Zoe looks miserable.

Thu 13 Jan 2005

Dennis has just got up, at the Vic and he is moping. Den tells him that Zoe just made a mistake, and Dennis says he did too. Den tells Dennis that Zoe only kissed a stranger, and reminds him about the kid. Dennis says they both know the kid is the only thought keeping him here, but now there's another - how can he be sure the kid is his? Den says Zoe idolises him, so he will have to work out what drove her to another man's arms. Dennis says yes, but it would be sweet revenge for him and Sharon, he can still go to America. Den quickly says he needs to face up to his responsibilities.

Alfie wanders around looking for work and Little Mo suggests that he open up Ted's stall, since it's an empty pitch and he hasn't been around all week, and someone they know has the key. Alfie does so - it's a junk stall and he sells loads of old rubbish with his annoying chatter. Little Mo is passing when Alfie is trying to sell a little charm and failing dismally, and she buys it. He does really well all day, and at lunchtime he asks the market inspector for a pitch and is told the waiting list is at least a year long.

Danny chats Sam up in the shop. He moans that Andy makes him vacuum his car. At least they seem to have something in common and they joke. His persistence will obviously pay off, as she is gradually giving in.

Jim and Patrick talk to Danny who tells them to keep quiet about the gambling. Andy says Jim and Patrick must have lost all their pension yesterday, he will enjoy banking that at the end of the week. Danny smirks as he knows better!

Jake is walking across the square and sees Dennis. He simply says "nothing happened". Dennis says it didn't look like that, and Jake walks off. Dot comes over to tell Dennis, with a biblical quotation, to look inside himself for answers. Dennis looks irritated and ignores her, saying good morning Dot.

Zoe is frantic for some reason or other, and Old Mo comes round and shouts at her, telling her that she will have a word with Dennis. Zoe says it's not his fault and cries.

Den accuses Dennis of playing games, saying he was jealous yesterday, but it seems that he is acting like a teenager and won't admit that he really cares for Zoe. Den says maybe they need some more fun in the bedroom and Dennis says there's nothing going on there. Den says disingenuously with fake amazement, ahhh, maybe it's just the pregnancy, hormones are putting her off. Dennis says it's not her, it's me, and Den pretends the penny has dropped, and says conclusively, well, then it's not surprising she's looking elsewhere for attention, and Dennis says he hasn't slept with Zoe since Sharon left, and den's right, maybe she needs another bloke [with the obvious undertone that it will be Den, yeuk]. Dennis goes out to serve, and Danny comes in and says at last - but then, Dennis isn't too hot in the service department. Dennis angrily grabs him and almost drags him over the bar. Den stops him and sends him upstairs.

Pauline and Dot discuss the red undies in Patrick's washing, which they have been looking at for the last two days, and also looking at every woman in the square, and wonder whose knickers they are. They think maybe they could hang them on the lost rack and see who claims them. Nana comes in and says they are just like hers (Pauline and Dot look at each other thinking the mystery as been solved for a second) - the ones she had in the Festival of Britain (50 years ago). Old Mo comes in and they spread the gossip to her as well.

Old Mo moans to Dot in the launderette, complaining about Dennis. Dot goes to see Zoe and mentions Dennis. Zoe says she hasn't seen him today, he stayed at the Vic last night. She moans that she loves him, and is nothing without him. Dot says some things aren't worth the pain, and she has all her family, and a family of her own soon. Dot says if she keeps pushing to make it work she will forget who she is.

Stacey steals some jewellery from Jules's stall. Old Mo sees her stealing a CD and tries to get her to do some errands, but Stacey runs off. She steals something from the Minute Mart, getting Lucy to divert Yolande. However, Yolande is too quick for her, and they catch her. Old Mo arrives and says she will pay for it, since Stacey can't. Patrick goes on about her rewarding Stacey for stealing, and Old Mo brings up the rumour about Patrick's fancy woman. Patrick looks sincerely amazed, and then Stacey backs it up, saying everyone knows about it, it's all over the square.

Den tells Chrissie that Dennis is upstairs and Zoe is at home, and goes round there. Den buzzes and Dot leaves, telling Zoe to think about what she really wants.

Danny flirts again and asks Sam out. Sam doesn't accept, but flirts back a little bit. He tells Nana that he is fed up with chips, he wishes she worked in a pub, and Nana says he could do worse. Jake says he already has.

Yolande arrives at the launderette to berate Pauline and Dot for spreading malicious rumours. Dot says smugly so where was Patrick all day yesterday? Yolande says triumphantly that he was at the bookies all day, with Jim (who had told Dot he was at the library). Dot is apparently shocked. [Rather unrealistically considering her life's experience with Charlie, Nick and even Jim himself. As pathetic excuses go, the library was the worst ever.]

Ted and Alfie discuss the stall, and Ted says he is giving up - he doesn't enjoy selling. Alfie explains his sales manner and Ted says Alfie has made up his mind now - he will hand the stall over to Alfie, who just has to get a licence in his name [that'll be why the waiting list is so long, people queue-jumping!]. Alfie goes round and thanks Little Mo for her idea today and tells her that he now has a stall. He gives her a gift of a bracelet to go with the charm she bought earlier. They look at each other meaningfully.

Chrissie has a go at Dennis, and says Zoe spoke to her, and she is hurt by Dennis's coldness. She tells Dennis to grow up: Zoe doesn't fancy some other bloke, she just wants attention, and Dennis has been ignoring her. She says it was all about Zoe loving him, and she finally adds that yesterday was her fault, she told Zoe to make him jealous and it just went too far. Dennis says she's carrying his baby, and Chrissie replies that if that is the only reason he's staying, then he has to walk: it won't work for either of them, or the kid. Dennis replies that just last night, seeing her in that state, he doesn't like to think of her being that hurt. Chrissie says Zoe loves him, and maybe he does still have feelings for her. Dennis agrees, saying she is the mother of his kid, he is bound to react when he sees her with another man, and adds thoughtfully, yes maybe he does have some feeling for her, and he needs to find that out.

Meanwhile, back at the flat, Zoe moans to Den, who manipulates her cleverly, sympathizing with her losing the one person she loves most, saying he knows what it is like. Zoe says it could have worked if Dennis just slept with her once since Sharon left. She whines on that Dennis only wants Sharon. Den says he gave her up for Zoe, and Zoe says they both know that isn't true. Den sighs and gets up pretending to leave, saying well, he wishes he could do something for her, and she asks him to stay. She stands up and they look at each other and she's obviously made her decision. She starts to take her clothes off. Den moves in to kiss her and she says "no kissing."

[Let's hope that Dennis's decision to "find out" includes immediate action, and goes home to check whether he still has feelings for Zoe while she's screwing his father! And let's hope even more fervently that we only have to see Dennis's reaction, not the actual subject...!]

Fri 14 Jan 2005

Den is lying naked (I assume, we only see the top half, thank god!) in bed next to ... oh, only Chrissie and he kisses her and says smugly he's sleeping with the best-looking woman in Walford. Chrissie takes it as a compliment, not an admission of an affair! How vain is this woman?!

Zoe is awake and looks over to Dennis, who says "morning". She quickly goes off to have a shower, and is a bit frantic and starts crying. She tells Dennis that she is going to spring clean the flat today. Dennis tells her to stop and apologises to her about the other night. He said Chrissie told him that she suggested trying to make him jealous, and he's sorry. She says it's OK, it was her fault, and he might as well leave her anyway, she isn't worth it. Dennis is surprised by her despair and wonders what is up, and says she's the mother of his child, he is going nowhere.

Danny sees Andy in the cafe and asks him if he needs a minder - as he sees Andy has a discreet bag of cash to take to the bank. Andy says Danny's offer to "help" doesn't ring true. [How stupid of Danny to draw attention to the money that he has spiked with fakes]. Danny bets Jake that he can pull Sam.

Alfie is cheery, and paints the stall before he opens up. He asks Billy and Mo to come for a drink to celebrate and Billy says he can't as he is on nights, and says Mo can go. Alfie goes to the launderette to tell Zoe the inspector is about, wondering why she hasn't opened her stall today. Pauline and Dot arrive and ask Zoe if she needs help with her laundry. She says, hastily, no thanks. She blanks Den and Chrissie, who wonders why. Little Mo makes up an excuse and tells Alfie she can't make it tonight, and that will be better anyway.

Minty hands Sam a lot of redirected mail from the Vic, and she says she can't be bothered and throws it all in the bin unopened (how ridiculous - there could be mail from Phil, Grant, Peggy, anyone).

Dennis is in the Vic early and Den asks what happened and did he apologise to Zoe? Dennis says yes, and she said there was nothing to apologise for, but the look on her face said otherwise, there is something else going on. Den says quickly, that was a result, assume the apology was accepted, she knows where he is and will come to him.

The police arrive (one being Sean of the Dead) and they ask Andy to come to the station. They say his bank called about a large quantity of counterfeit money in his takings. Once Andy has gone, Jake is furious with Danny, who says Andy is a jumped up nobody, and he deserved it. Jake says Andy is keeping them safe, and if they get noticed they are dead. Danny tells Sam about Andy getting caught, and even boasts that if it impresses her, then it was all down to him that Andy got into trouble. He keeps on flirting and she asks him directly "what do you see in me?" He says that she is sex on legs, and they both hate Andy, and if she will let him take her out he is sure he will find something else in common.

Little Mo comes to see Zoe who is upset and says she can't talk about Dennis and babies, and goes on about secrets and Billy not being the father of the baby. Mo just comforts Zoe, saying she had to tell him as secrets always come out in the end, so it's better not to lie.

Billy sees Alfie and Mo and exposes Mo's lying excuse about not being able to go out. Later, she apologises to Alfie for lying to him, and he jokes that it's OK, he will make sure there are at least two people in between them at all times this evening.

Chrissie asks Dennis what happened with Zoe, and Dennis says he has already been through it all with Den. Chrissie says astutely, let me guess what did the Watts boys come up with - 'let it lie'? Dennis says yes, and she says, amused, they are both so alike, father and son. She impatiently tells Dennis to go and do something about it - show Zoe some affection.

Ian finds out from Yolande that Lucy was with Stacey trying to nick stuff. He and Jayne have a go at Stacey but then go to deal with Lucy.

Zoe arrives home and finds Den there, and she shouts at him. She says she isn't spending the rest of her life with Dennis bringing up a kid that isn't his. Den says if she doesn't get pregnant, Dennis will leave her - does she want that? He hands her a pregnancy test kit and leaves.

Dennis arrives and asks Zoe what she wants to do tonight, anything she likes. She starts off "Dennis, I have been really stupid". Dennis says she hasn't, they are both to blame, it will all be OK. Zoe says she loves him and Dennis says "I know, I'm all yours." Dennis starts to kiss her sexily and she says no, not here (she can't face the bedroom at the moment). He says he thought this was what she wanted, then she pushes him away and refuses point blank to touch him. Dennis is really annoyed, after she has spent weeks begging and clinging to him, and says he's going to the Vic, and when she decides what she wants, come and find him. Dennis arrives at the Vic, and tells Den he may as well work. Chrissie asks what happened and Dennis says tersely that he tried with Zoe, and that's it.

Danny taunts Andy about the police, and Andy says smugly that he is insured against this, so will lose nothing - however the people who did this will be in serious trouble when he finds them.

Alfie has a "party" in the Vic to celebrate his new job, and coincidentally the local paper arrives and says to Den that they have won pub of the year, and they want to photograph Sam Mitchell, the landlady. Sam is in the Vic, and Den tells them she is over there. Chrissie is annoyed that he asked Sam - obviously she wanted to be recognised as landlady. Sam then defers to Alfie and Mo, saying they did all the work. The photographer makes Alfie put his arm around Mo. They are both a bit embarrassed. Danny kisses Sam, and she's surprised but not upset, although Minty is, as he is the one who persuaded her to go out for a drink in the first place.

Zoe goes to the back of the Vic and says to Den that she made a mistake, she is sorry. Den is merciless and says coldly that it's her fault, Sharon should be here behind the bar, but because of her failure with Dennis, instead of having Sharon, he is lumbered with "you two wasters" (Zoe and Dennis). So, if she wants to keep Dennis she will carry on sleeping with him until she is pregnant. Zoe is horrified, and says then she will tell Chrissie. He says, quite convincingly, does she really think he cares - Chrissie won't want him, but Dennis won't want her either. He says the only person he cares about, the only one who matters, is Sharon, and she ruined that, so if Zoe wants a life she has to buy it back from him - and he will let her know when the first instalment is due.

Mon 17 Jan 2005

It's the day of Freddie's christening. [Obviously Mo chose the name while watching horror films - did Freddie or Jason win, I forget?]. Ian arrives with the sandwiches, to a Vic decorated with huge photos of the baby.

Zoe is hiding in the bathroom pretending to be ill, and Dennis is outside being the kind sympathetic father-to be. They go to the Vic and Den says slightly ironically to Zoe "go inside and have a lie down." Dennis goes in and Zoe says Den is winding her up, and that he is scaring her, and blackmailing her just to punish his son. She says Den is just jealous of Dennis, because he is gorgeous, young and .... has slept with Sharon (!). Den looks furious and Zoe says she can't even kiss Dennis now, because it is ruined. Den tells Dennis that Zoe just begged him to help her out - but there are some things that only Dennis can do (!). He sends Dennis off to the church.

At the Slaters', Stacey offers to take the cake over to the Vic. She drops it on the floor and Ghengis the scum family's dog eats it.

The scum family tell their mother that there is no money and their father has spent all their illegally claimed social security handouts on a satellite TV package instead of food. Demi goes to the Minute Mart and tries to make Patrick feel sorry for her. She explains about the pain of childbirth while Darren steals groceries and puts it in the pushchair under the baby. Stacey distracts Yolande. They get the wrong size of nappy. Yolande catches up with Stacey, who pretends that it was all Demi's idea, and she was just an innocent victim in the thefts. She gives back one bag of stuff to Yolande and explains that she broke the christening cake, and had to get another. Yolande feels sorry for her appalling sob story, and takes Stacey and says they can use a Minute Mart Christmas cake instead of the Christening cake. She kindly sorts it out to look just like the cake Stacey dropped. Stacey thanks her and says she can't pay her back for the cake all in one go. Yolande says yes she can - she starts work at the crack of dawn tomorrow.

At the church, Zoe is a bit reluctant, but Mo encourages her. Dennis arrives, which does so more. The vicar [who, it appears, has taken 25 years to escape the Liberator and the life of a cowardly thief (Vila) in a band of 30th century outlaws] baptises the baby, and everyone says some random Christian words and hymns. Billy is a bit vacant. Dennis is there and asks Zoe "Why Den?" She looks stunned, and Dennis explains - he asks her why she didn't talk to him, and he says they use to laugh and talk and communicate, and he wants it to be like that, he doesn't want Den involved. Zoe agrees. They seem to come to a good understanding, and Dennis says sweetly that he can't come home early tonight as he is working, but they have the rest of their lives together.

The benefit cheat scum twins go to the Vic to steal christening food, with tuition on theft from the scum mother.

At the Vic, Billy sulks in the (grubby and horrific) pub toilets. Alfie goes to look for him and Billy says that when you get older you end up a fat pile of regrets, and he looks at himself and thinks he has turned into his father, whom he hated all his life. He says the baby may grow up into its father too. Alfie tries to talk him out of it, and says he and Mo are great parents, and Billy comes out to join in the celebration. Billy makes his speech, referring obliquely to the fact that the Vic was the place that Freddie was conceived. He loses the thread of the speech at this point and leaves of the Vic. Alfie follows to persuade Billy to come back to the Vic.

Dennis and Zoe are in the Vic and Zoe asks Den for a word (does she never do what she's told, the silly bitch?). He tells her to go upstairs, so she does (oh obviously she does, but only when Den tells her, she ignores Dennis's wishes, so we know whom she really cares about then). She apologises to Den for her comment earlier, and says that Dennis wants to try, they have a chance. Den says nothing has changed, Dennis still thinks she is two months pregnant. He casually opens the door to the bedroom and says it's her choice, and she resignedly goes in and closes the door for more sex with the father-in-law [doesn't she care at all about what Dennis wants?].

Tue 18 Jan 2005

Alfie sets up his stall with old rubbish and Andy laughs at it [I did too]. Danny says he will find some stuff for him to sell, and talks to Old Mo. Alfie says he won't sell stolen gear. Danny tells him and Jake that the watches he has obtained are kosher, and Alfie is easily persuaded without any proof whatsoever, despite knowing Danny's record, so obviously Alfie isn't really that bothered about whether it's legal or not, it was just more of the lying salesman crap he's been spouting recently.

Patrick gets a birthday present for Paul in the post from Anthony, so he thinks that Paul will be back there for his birthday.

Peter tells Ian he forgot his football boots, and has to go back and get them. Ian says they didn't tell him, but Lucy backs Peter up. Later, Ian apologises to the kids for being distracted recently. They ask him if Jayne can come over and he says she is too busy with other things (he hasn't asked her).

Old Mo tells Andy that she doesn't like doing business with him, and Andy is pleased that she got rid of the fake watches (since I'm sure he knows the only buyer in the market).

Dennis gives Zoe a bacon sandwich since she is eating for two, and she turns her nose up at it. He tells her not to worry about looking fat, if anyone could look good in dungarees, she could (correct, *no-one* could look good in dungarees).

Little Mo is in a foul mood for some unknown reason, and tells Billy sharply that he won't be allowed to look after Freddie today. She takes the baby to the Vic where she lies to Den, saying Billy is ill, and both Dennis and Den says this isn't a playscheme. However, Chrissie says of course she can put him upstairs.

Den sends Mo on errands, and the baby cries, and Chrissie asks who will look after it, and they both sensibly refuse, since it was Chrissie who wanted it there in the first place. She goes, and as soon as Dennis happens to go past (to shut to door to keep the noise down), she dumps the baby on him, saying he needs the practice. Later, Den asks where Dennis is. He goes up to find him, and Dennis says it's his turn with the baby now. Den says you lot have grown up, so he's past that. They discuss children, and Dennis asks Den for advice and help, since he has no experience of having a father to go on. Den sighs impatiently, does he have to keep apologising for that? Dennis says, no, he just wanted a few pointers. Den says that Sharon was three when she came to them. Den says that you always worry about your kids, about the smallest thing, or whether someone will take them away from you. Dennis is looking at the baby but Den is looking at him bitterly, clearly thinking of him as the enemy taking Sharon away from him.

Later, Zoe comes to the Vic and asks Den to keep out of her and Dennis's relationship, and he glibly agrees to do so. When she's gone home, Den asks Dennis casually how the first check up went at the doctor's. Dennis says they haven't been for one, and Den says he should make sure they are both OK: his responsibilities start even before the baby is born. Dennis says thanks, he will, he hadn't thought of that.

Danny invites Sam out tonight, interrupting her chat with Minty. Sam says it is his flat, and Danny asks jokingly if they share a bedroom. Danny leaves, and Andy is also in the cafe, and he says loudly he will have to give Danny a pay rise for taking Sam off his hands.

Charlie starts work as a cabbie again, but his cab breaks down after 10 yards. Garry and Minty have to push it to the garage. Minty has a jealous rant about Danny Moon interrupting him chatting to Sam. Ian arrives and asks why they are doing the cab and not the list of cars that are booked in. The excuse is family favour, and Ian says that he isn't related to Charlie, so they can do the jobs they are supposed to and do the cab in their spare time.

They down tools and go to the pub and discuss how much they hate Ian. They ask Mo why the video shop is shut and she is surprised. She asks Garry to see where Billy is. Garry goes to her house and says to Billy that he will have to sort himself out. When Garry and Minty go back to work, and Ian is there, with a car repair manual (now that was a real surprise to me)!

Andy gives Jake and Danny some bad debts to chase up. Danny goes looking for Paul and Yolande tells him she doesn't know where he is. They collect everything 'except someone who's away at "Her Majesty's Pleasure", and Paul Trueman'. Eddie and Andy look at each other, and Andy says casually, "give me that list, oh yes, an old list, I should have crossed him off." Danny asks suspiciously why, and Andy says glibly, because he is paid up, of course, why else? Danny comments rather pointedly that's lucky, because he has disappeared. Andy says everyone pays up eventually. When they leave, Eddie says Andy needs to watch Danny, he is in with Sam, who knows a lot more about Paul.

Patrick asks Danny about him looking for Paul, and they both get the feeling that there is something wrong. Danny snogs Sam in the Vic and she sees Andy looking at them, and goes over to ask what he's looking at. He says Danny is bad news. She says if Andy disapproves, that will make her keen to marry Danny then. Andy comments to Eddie that he should have said he was pleased about it.

Patrick calls Anthony and discovers he hasn't heard from Paul for a couple of months, which was why he sent the present there. Patrick is now getting worried about Paul.

Den tells Dennis he can have the evening off. Dennis goes home and Zoe is cooking and he announces that he will get a doctor's appointment for her as soon as possible, they can't take any chances. She says, horrified, that she doesn't need one. Dennis says kindly "don't worry, I'll be there with you." Zoe worries a lot more!

Thu 20 Jan 2005

Den asks Zoe if she's looking forward to the doctor's appointment, and lets her know that he suggested it to Dennis. He says that he could change Dennis's plans, but in return she will have to do something for him [hmm let me guess, it involves getting naked, what a dirty old man]. Zoe is annoyed at how malicious Den is being.

Chrissie has a long meeting with an old friend of hers scheduled today.

Stacey is late for the Minute Mart again on her second day. Patrick is distracted thinking about Paul on his birthday. As soon as Stacey is left alone in the shop, she starts to ring up the goods, and when the woman gives her the correct money, she pockets it and cancels the till transaction.

Dennis helps Zoe lift some stock because he doesn't want her lifting anything she doesn't have to. He reminds her that she has the doctor's appointment at 2pm. Dennis asks Den for the afternoon off. Den stirs it by saying that Zoe didn't seem keen to go to the doctor when he spoke to her - is she looking after herself properly? He suggests that her family should rally round. Little Mo agrees wholeheartedly.

Zoe takes her pregnancy test, which is negative again. She casually drops it in the bathroom wastebin. (Is she stupidly careless or just certain that Dennis never throws anything in there or looks in there?)

Sam and Danny talk and Sam says she's embarrassed about the "morning after the night before" thing, implying they slept together on Tuesday night. Later, Jake tells Danny he doesn't think it's a good idea to shag Andy's wife under his nose, as it is bound to annoy him. Meanwhile, Sam tells Jayne what a great time she had with Danny. Jayne asks Ian why he told the kids she wasn't available, and he says it's obvious that she will take some time to get over David, and she asked him to give her some space, didn't she? She agrees, but looks a bit hurt by this. [Make up your mind, you dopey cow].

Later they discuss it again and Ian says he was trying to make her happy and she kisses him. They have a bit of a snog. Jayne says she did want space at first, but now... she feels she was being cut out, and that wasn't what she wanted.

Billy tells Garry he sent a letter to prison asking to meet Graham. Garry says he should be careful - hitting him won't do any good. Billy says he won't, and he needs to know if Graham wants to be part of Freddie's future after prison.

Zoe talks to Den, saying he has forced her to tell Dennis the truth. Den taunts her that she is giving up now that she's almost there. She may never see Dennis again. All she has to do is get pregnant: they can try again, come on what do you say? Den tells Zoe he will buy her some time from Dennis, and in the bar, he tells Dennis that Zoe may be shy seeing the doctor with him, and Little Mo says she'll go instead. Den asks Dennis to see a supplier for him that afternoon - it's a family business, and he wants to give Dennis more responsibility.

Dennis is happy, and Zoe moans at Den that this hasn't helped. He says he did the hard bit - it must be easier for her to get rid of Mo than Dennis. [Well, it's tricky, one would have thought so, considering that Mo hardly has two brain cells to rub together, but Zoe has demonstrated no signs of a single brain cell, so she probably can't even outwit that drippy doormat.]

After lunch, Chrissie tells Den she's off and will be out for a few hours, and Dennis says he is off too. Den says Little Mo has gone to meet Zoe at the doctor's. Zoe sits at home, not even bothering to call and make an excuse to the doctor or to Mo, so Little Mo just waits pathetically outside the surgery [you are allowed through the door, you know, even without an appointment for yourself].

Patrick continues thinking about Paul and tells Yolande that he is certain something must have happened to him. They decide to open his private mail - and start with the bank statement, which shows no transactions since Xmas. Also, not a single phone call in the last month, and no credit card transactions. Patrick is really worried and believes something has happened to Paul. Yolande tells him they could search Paul's room too - since he left almost everything, only taking a small bag.

Dennis helps Dot when she drops some things in the square. She invites him for coffee and they chat and she is kindly pleased for Dennis when he says he can't stay, he has to run an errand for Den, who is giving him more responsibility. She talks about the baby, and he tells her he is looking forward to it now, and even reading baby books.

Andy tells market officials about some bloke selling watches in his shop, and he got rid of him, and he thinks he's gone to the market now. Andy says they were not the usual rubbish, and might be counterfeit. They search the market, and find Alfie, and looking at the watches they tell him he is suspected of selling counterfeit goods, and will have to confiscate them all. They close Alfie down for the rest of the day and give him a receipt so he can get them back in the "unlikely event that the goods are found not to be counterfeit". Danny and Jake both watch from afar, and then Danny sees Old Mo and grabs her to say he was doing Alfie a favour and now he has dropped him right in it. Old Mo tells him that Andy must have lied to her, and the penny drops and Danny is horrified to hear that she got them from Hunter. Meanwhile Jake sympathizes with Alfie, saying he will kill Danny.

Patrick reports Paul as a missing person at the police station. Since he is over 18 they don't take much notice, saying that he is free to drop out, as he is an adult.

Den tells Tracey he's going upstairs for a bit (Zoe is sneaking around in the hallway). He asks her what she wants, and she says he knows. He says yes, but he wants her to say it - it's her choice, he isn't forcing her into anything he wants to make that very clear. They go upstairs, Zoe looking sulky. Den hands her a brandy and says "Come on, I won't bite you - unless of course you want me to." [EEW YEUK!] Den opens the door to the bedroom and she goes in.

Billy tells Dennis that Mo is really worried about Zoe, who failed to show for the doctor's appointment. Dennis looks equally worried and says he will find her and sort it out, don't worry. He rushes around the square, first looking at home, but it's empty.

Dennis runs over to the Vic, and Tracey says she hasn't seen Zoe, but Den is upstairs. Dennis looks hurriedly in the living room, finds no-one, then opens the kitchen door, finds no-one, then seeing the closed bedroom door, he calls out "Den?" and finally opens the bedroom door to find Zoe and Den, both looking almost naked, in bed. Zoe sits up guiltily and Den smirks calmly "hello son." Dennis looks at them with horror and dismay.

[Come on, Dennis, with all this evidence of Zoe's faithlessness, how can you still think the "baby" could be yours, and have you actually bothered to consider when it could possibly have been conceived during all that time you were shagging Sharon and not Zoe? OK, there was Fri 10th Dec, when you'd just finished shagging Sharon so the odds against having generated enough sperm in the half an hour since the last shag to impregnate Zoe accidentally, while carefully using a condom as well, are pretty incredible.]

Fri 21 Jan 2005

Continuing directly from yesterday, Dennis has a horrified look.

Den gets up and puts on a shirt, and says he doesn't suppose Dennis will believe "it's not what it looks like"?

Zoe runs to Dennis, who flinches away when she tries to touch him. Den gets dressed and follows Dennis to the lounge, after telling Zoe all she has to do is keep Chrissie away from Dennis, however she has to: he will talk Dennis into staying. Dennis says Den has made it very easy for him to leave. Den asks if he's taking Zoe, and Dennis says dismissively "you can keep her". Den taunts Dennis, saying that he can hate Zoe and Den, but what about his baby? Dennis asks how long Den has been doing it with Zoe. Den says it was offered to him on a plate, ask her. Den adds that Dennis is just like him, that is exactly what he did with Dennis's mother. Den says he is deluded if he thinks Sharon liked Dennis for himself, in fact she only ever loved him because he reminded her of Den. [Hmm, I have a feeling the EE incest theme is just going one step too far at the moment.]

Danny is busy attacking Andy, and Jake comes to stop it, but when Andy taunts him, he ends up punching Andy too.

Danny apologises to Alfie about the watches. He tells him that they both punched Andy, who set them up. Alfie says that was unwise, and they need to apologise to Andy quickly, or they will have got him into even more trouble.

Den says if Dennis runs away he will be exactly the same as him and the kid will hate Dennis as much as Dennis hates Den - but it's his choice. Dennis goes home, wearing that adorable furious/hurt look that he does so well every time Den shafts him, and starts packing, taking his usual 10 seconds.

Zoe is sitting in the Vic miserably. Dot asks her what is up, and Zoe says they rowed and she ruined everything. She says she will do anything to make him stay. Dot says a family with no love isn't worth it - it's just desperation. Dot says there is nothing you can do, if the other person doesn't love you - if you hang on tight, all you do is strangle it.

Zoe goes to tell Den that she is going to tell the truth. In the square, Den chases Zoe, and Dennis runs out to see what's going on, and Zoe blurts out that she was never pregnant. Dennis walks off without a word. Zoe chases him and says she was desperate. Dennis says it's too late. Zoe says Den told her to lie to him, and she's sorry. She says they can start over and one day have a baby of their own, that's something Sharon could never have given him. Dennis slaps her. Den taunts him about hitting women. Dennis says bitterly that Den has destroyed everyone he ever cared about, adding with deep feeling "I hate you."

The police arrive for Patrick. Stacey and Danny are in the shop when they arrive. It's the police who colluded with Paul, and they ask about the cab Paul left in. Patrick remembers very little, and can't describe the henchman who drove it, even though he chatted to them all. Stacey tells Patrick now they have the photo of Paul they will contact the morgues. Patrick is upset and Yolande tells him to go home. He looks in Paul's room and finds the police cards in his diary.

Billy gets word that Graham has allowed him to visit. Garry advises him to tell Mo, in case she finds out by accident.

The police arrive to question Andy, who says Paul just left, it happens. Andy says his door is always open, but by the way, who told you to knock on it? They smirk "are you worried someone grassed you up?" Next they go to Patrick's and he shows them that Paul had their cards, exactly the same as the one they gave him. They say he was helping them with their enquiries. They refuse to explain, except that Paul was helping them. Patrick has a go at them about them ignoring the fact that Paul disappeared while helping them, and says they just didn't care.

Danny goes to see Andy, and tells them about the police asking about Paul. He threatens to point the police in Andy's direction. Andy replies "who do you think you are?" Danny is unbowed and tells Andy to leave them alone, and they'll keep quiet.

Andy sends heavies around to have a go at Jake and Danny. Nana is the only person there.

Patrick goes to see Andy, and asks what Paul was doing, and says he knows that Paul was helping police with an investigation, and he assumes Andy does too He pleads with Andy, saying he isn't the police, he doesn't care what he's done, he just wants to know why Paul had to run away. Andy tells him seriously, walk away - get on with your life, this doesn't concern you. Patrick follows and shouts after Andy, demonstrating some very convincing worry verging on panic about Paul's welfare.

Dennis walks through the square with his trusty little holdall holding the miniscule amount of belongings he always takes when he runs away. He looks around at the buildings as if he will never come back. Chrissie happens to bump into Dennis at the tube station. She chatters on about her day, then eventually notices the bag and that Dennis is looking determined. She asks Dennis if he is going somewhere? Dennis just looks at her. Chrissie asks worriedly "what happened?" Dennis half-smiles, somewhat maliciously.

Chrissie walks into the Vic and Den asks her casually how her day was, and then tells her they are busy and goes back to the bar. Chrissie takes her coat off, looking very angry, but takes a deep breath and says nothing. [Having seen the extent of her vicious revenge on Kate, I can't wait for Zoe's turn, because that scheming little bitch deserves so much more!]

Tue 25 Jan 2005

Little Mo wakes up and Billy is missing. She runs to Alfie at his stall and is annoyingly pathetic and drippy, and starts on whine, whine, whine. She goes to Charlie's and wails a lot. Garry denies all knowledge. Old Mo is not fooled and she tells him she'll break his legs if he doesn't tell her. Little Mo corners Alfie again and gabbles hysterically at Alfie in the cafe. Old Mo arrives and tells Little Mo that Billy went to see Graham. Little Mo goes to find Garry and whine loudly at him [shudder! She and her vile sisters are such horrendous bitches].

Jim has booked a cab for Dot's tests and checkup at 10am. She waffles on about what he will do if they get bad news. The tests go well and they have to return tomorrow for the results.

A police officer arrives to tell Patrick they have found a body that might be Paul's and they want him to come to do a formal id. Stacey was told to leave, and runs to the cafe to tell Danny and Jake that the police are there, and she was shoved out before they told Patrick why. Patrick goes to the station where the policeman who knew Paul is there, so it's obviously him. Patrick looks at the body and looks tearful. He has a go at the black policeman who knew him, and says he knew Paul was at risk for helping the police, and he didn't care if Paul ended up with a bullet in his head.

Patrick goes to the Vic and drinks a lot. At home Yolande tries to get hold of Anthony but can't. Patrick is annoyed by everyone asking what his run in with the police was, and mumbles a bit about Paul, and Den says Paul was in with a bad crowd, he was bound to get nicked eventually. Sam and Minty say don't worry, he'll be back, and Yolande arrives in the Vic and says he won't - they have just identified his body.

Andy calls his contact to berate him about the police finding Paul. The police arrive for Andy. Danny looks curious. Andy takes them back to his house, and they question him. They say they only found the body because of a tip off, and perhaps it was the murderer or someone who wanted to set someone else up. Andy feigns ignorance of the whole thing.

Ian invites Jayne out for the evening. He shuts the cafe so that he and Jayne can have some time alone. He asks Pauline to babysit, but lies and says he has a meeting that he forgot about. Lucy lies to Pauline that Ian lets her play with Stacey. Peter says he has to go swimming now and hasn't got his trunks, so Pauline offers to go to Ian's and get them for him. She walks in on Ian and Jayne half naked!

Garry finds Billy in a graveyard, and makes him go home. Billy does so and Mo bitches nastily at him again? Billy says it wasn't about her, she was moving on but he couldn't, so had to do something. She just bitches selfishly to him about herself and obviously couldn't care less about Billy's feelings. After she's screeched on and on a bit, the baby starts crying. Billy says he's Graham's baby, and that's who he sees, and he'd lay down his life for her, but he doesn't feel anything except hate for the baby.

Patrick goes round to shout at Andy and calls him a murderer. [He's very good] Andy says it's got nothing to do with him. He goes inside, but Patrick keeps on shouting at the closed door, and says he will make Andy pay for it. Andy leans against the door and looks a bit worried.

Thu 27 Jan 2005

The police family officer visits Patrick, who shouts at her about Andy the murderer walking the streets a free man. He goes to the station to ask more and is told to go home and let them get on with it.

The completely irrational Little Mo is apparently staying at the Slaters because she is cross with Billy for some reason which is impossible for any intelligent person to guess because brain doesn't seem to work with any sort of normal human thought patterns.

The Slater bitches and Garry all whine about the sleeping arrangements, as there aren't enough bedrooms for all the sulking slappers who are staying there. Charlie tells Garry he has the sofa, Mo has a single room with Freddie, and Zoe will share with Stacey. Everyone whines annoyingly. Charlie asks Mo about Graham and Zoe screeches at people that sometimes people want to be quiet. They tell her to get working on the stall, she'll have enough time indoors when the baby comes.

Alfie sees Mo and tells her that Billy thinks she hates him. Mo says yesterday Billy hated her (hmm, actually, this is a lie, he said he hated Freddie, as we all do, so she's obviously making up these stories to manipulate Alfie to get some sympathy or get a shag from him.) Mo whines on about Billy hating the baby and asks ridiculous hypothetical questions about Zoe and Harry and Alfie says he has no idea.

The scum family bastard twins (the teenage mother and her thieving brother) have a birthday - they are 14. The vile harridan mother moans at the stupid father that it's longer than most marriages (obviously hinting that they should have got married at some time). She whines on to Clint asking him to make Keith marry her.

Andy has a go at Danny and Jake for being late again, and says their first job is to keep that nutter (Patrick) away from him. Danny questions Patrick about what Paul did for Andy, and Patrick realises he doesn't know. Jake calmly tells him that if it was that dodgy, people will hide it, so go home.

Ian tells Jayne it's not funny that Pauline saw him naked! She is obviously amused. Ian makes a great effort to avoid seeing Pauline as he's horribly embarrassed. Pauline goes to sympathize with Yolande who cries that Paul was shot in cold blood - whatever mistakes he made he didn't deserve that.

In the Vic, Minty tells Patrick that whatever he did, Paul was a good bloke. Minty says Andy is the sort of person not to cross, and although he wouldn't murder anyone himself, he knows the people to arrange it. Patrick asks everyone for any information they have on Andy. Pauline arrives and tells him to go home and look after Yolande, who needs him. Then she goes to see Ian in the cafe, just as he is saying that the next century would be too soon to see Pauline again. She says what if one of the kids had walked in on them, instead of her. She says they shouldn't have a casual relationship. Ian talks to Jayne and says Pauline is right, they shouldn't have a casual relationship. Jayne quickly says that OK, she can have her stuff out of his house in 10 minutes. Ian says oh no, he meant that this wasn't casual, he loves her.

Alfie also tells Patrick to keep away from Andy - and leave it to the police, Andy is not a nice bloke. Patrick is frantic and Yolande is also upset about him being so upset and tells him to stop torturing himself about not being a good father.

Dot gets her test results and her renal function is good - the other kidney is doing well, but the cancer may return in future. For now, everything is absolutely fine, but the longer she stays cancer-free the better the chances of it not returning. Dot chats to Jim that it doesn't seem fair that she is alive and Paul is dead. She says whether the good Lord gives her 6 months or 6 years, she will make the most of every moment.

Danny and Jake argue about Andy, and Jake says as long as they work for him they know his every move, and Danny has to stop messing about because they are playing the long game with Andy.

Little Mo goes out for a walk and bumps into Alfie. They agree to be best friends and Alfie gives her a hug, saying he would have done that before but didn't want to give her the wrong signals. He invites her back to his place. Billy comes out of the Vic and sees this and gets the wrong idea, helped by Garry's previous comment in the Vic that he shouldn't let Mo do her crying on Alfie's shoulder, or it might get out of hand.

Fri 28 Jan 2005

Charlie tells Little Mo to take Zoe out. Mo goes on about how lovely it will be having a baby almost the same age, especially if she has a boy. Zoe says they are different and Mo has Billy who loves her, she is alone, she screeches a bit about how Mo is throwing it away. Alfie comes over to ask Mo if she is OK and they walk off together. They chat in the launderette.

Chrissie tells Den a card with a Spanish postmark came for Zoe. She says she can't understand why Dennis just left, and Den says it's not surprising, he's a young bloke faced with a life sentence with a woman he didn't love. She asks where Den thinks Dennis has gone, and says something must have happened to make him go. Den blanks her.

Jake tells Danny off about Sam, and meanwhile, Sam persuades Minty to try to like Danny, perhaps they can invite him round. Sam arrives to meet Danny in the Vic and invites him home. Jake asks sarcastically if it's like meeting the parents. It's awkward to begin with, then the wine runs out and Sam goes to get another bottle, and Danny asks Minty about Andy and Sam, and they have a cheerful bitching session about how nasty Andy is, and get along quite well after that. Danny decides that Andy is overdue for revenge and says

Billy drinks in the Vic and Garry advises him to apologise, he shouldn't have lied. Den interjects that's the trouble with lies, they always come back and bite you. Chrissie looks at Den's back with amazement and fury, but keeps quiet. Garry persuades Billy to go and apologise to Mo, which he does, just as Mo and Alfie are coming out of the launderette after their cosy chat. Billy rushes over to punch him. Mo looks after Alfie and ignores Billy. Alfie says it's OK, Billy thought he was losing her, and she was having an affair, and she should talk to him and sort it out. He asks if she loves Billy. Mo says yes, and Alfie says go and see him, now. She does, and Billy immediately apologises. Mo says she hates violence, and she isn't having an affair. Billy promises never to hit anyone again, and Mo makes tea. Billy waffles on about how much she means to him and they discuss old times. He promises to make it up to her, and they have the rest of their lives, and he loves her so much. They kiss and make up. Then Billy promises never to raise a hand to her kid, and she gets all hysterical, irrational and unreasonable again, despite it being precisely true. Mo says ruthlessly that even though Billy loves her, she's dumping Billy because he called Freddie her child.

Charlie arrives in the Vic and Chrissie tells him about the letter from Spain, and offers to come round to cheer Zoe up. Charlie asks Den why Dennis left, and Den feigns ignorance again, but tells Chrissie not to go to see Zoe. however, Charlie says it will be OK, and Chrissie says she'll bring the card round for her. She tells Den she's leaving, and when she leaves, Den immediately phones Zoe, who sees who it is and ignores it. Chrissie arrives and says she'd like a word, and that she sees Zoe is getting practice in. Zoe looks worried, and Chrissie says, looking a bit evil, "with the baby". Chrissie keeps on about the baby. Zoe goes on about Dennis and Chrissie says she remembers the first time someone broke her heart too, and acts all sympathetic. Chrissie says she understands Zoe being upset and wanting to get revenge when someone has hurt her, and Den and Dennis are just the same, and Zoe and she have to look out for each other, and Zoe can tell her anything - she won't be shocked or blame her at all if someone took advantage of her. Zoe hesitates then says she just misses Dennis. Chrissie looks very annoyed and goes home. Den asks, fake casually, how Zoe is, and Chrissie says the usual, thinks the world has ended, and then Charlie also asks, and Chrissie says she will take care of Zoe. [Her face showing that she means in the Andy Hunter way of taking care of enemies, rather than any other way.]

Mon 31 Jan 2005

Old Mo tells Zoe she will do her stall, while Zoe plans her 21st birthday celebrations tomorrow. Zoe offers to go to the chemist for Little Mo.

Danny teases Alfie about Billy punching him, and how Billy is just a little bloke, he comes up to Alfie's ankles. Alfie is worried about Nana and Danny and Jake say they need a proper house. Billy apologises to Alfie in the cafe, and Alfie says he can still sort it out with Mo.

Charlie is off collecting Pat from her trip abroad. He says it's free because she listened to all his troubles on the way. She offers to buy him lunch but he says he is busy.

Andy has had his house vandalised with the word "murderer" and Jim tells Patrick that Andy is dangerous. Patrick says it wasn't him! [So obviously Danny then.] Patrick says he called Paul's answerphone yesterday just to hear his voice again. When Andy sees the paint, he is furious, and assumes it was Patrick. He asks Jake who did this, and tells him to get "tweedledum" and clean it off. Danny laughs and says Andy looks like a fool - his reputation is obviously gone around here if he lets people do this to him. Andy says he knows who it was and will sort him out. He goes to the Minute Mart and accuses Andy. Patrick says if Andy had nothing to do with it, why is he sweating over some kid. Andy says Paul was scum on the streets and someone washed him away. Stacey gets manages to "accidentally" get some smashed eggs all over Andy's suit, and he is furious.

Minty sees Danny cleaning the paint, and hints that the person who did it had better watch out, obviously hinting that he knows it was Danny. Jake realises it was and tricks Danny into admitting it to him then berates him for being stupid.

Pat asks Andy why Patrick was arguing, and he says Paul was killed, shot he thinks. Pat sees Patrick in the cafe and offers her condolences. Patrick explains it wasn't him and says if someone else thinks he's a murderer, then it seems Andy did have something to do with it. Yolande goes to see Andy, and says Patrick didn't do it, and asks if he has ever lost someone close, he will know the pain that Patrick is going through, so please leave him alone. Andy thinks about it, looks down, and says OK, I will leave him alone.

Den asks Zoe if she's going to stop pretending she's pregnant soon. Zoe says she will decide after her birthday. She says Chrissie came to offer a shoulder to cry on, and Den says he wouldn't suggest she takes her up on it, because Chrissie is a bit "unpredictable" and might blame Zoe. Zoe looks at her baby book, and throws it away. Chrissie asks Den about putting her on the deeds to the Vic. He fobs her off again. Den chases Zoe about telling her family about the baby, and she's

Ian helps Pauline with her bags, and asks her to babysit again for him and Jayne. Pauline says they are acting like kids - what about Peter and Lucy they have been through enough, and you can behave like a proper couple.

Mo and Zoe eventually go to the Vic for a girls' night out. Meanwhile, Garry persuades Billy to go to the Vic, saying Mo won't be there, her shift finished. Mickey and Jules are chatting up Mo and Zoe when they arrive.

Jake and Danny argue about Danny's idea to squat in an empty house (Janine's). They break in find it's empty, but Jake isn't keen, saying it's a bit risky.

When Danny and Pat pass by, the bookies is closed and Danny is triumphant, saying he got to Andy. Andy is at home, looking nervous and jumpy. Pat arrives and tells Andy that Patrick asked her to get the truth. Andy says he's had a very bad day and is clearly rattled. Pat is very persistent, and Andy says Paul was a grass, and the cops turned him, and someone found out, so it must have been something bad. Andy continues to be interrogated by Pat [who now reminds me even more of Ida Arnold] and lets slip that he keeps on thinking about it, going round and round in his head. Andy is really jumpy and Pat keeps on, and Andy eventually shouts that he did it - turned him over to the blokes who killed him. He tells Pat a slightly edited version, that they came here and thought it was him who grassed them up, he had to give them a name, so he did. Pat says come to see Patrick and tell him what happened. Andy says the only visit he'll make to Patrick is with a friend or two (ie a minder). Pat says pointedly "Andy, you haven't got a friend or two, you're hiding in here." She says sympathetically that he will feel better if he tells Patrick the truth, however hard it is, she's here for him, she knows what it's like to be a fighter, let's do this together. Andy almost goes with her, and then at the last minute, he says no, that would be pathetic, weak, and he would be as bad as the rest of you losers. He shouts at Pat to get out.

Tue 1st Feb 2005

It's Zoe's birthday and she gets lots of presents. Zoe says she's going out clubbing and can have as much fun as she wants. Then she's feeling ill, and goes off to throw up for ages. Clearly she has morning sickness. Den sees her and asks her again when she's going to tell everyone.

Charlie very inappropriately gives Zoe Viv's wedding ring (no idea why Little Mo wasn't worthy of it).

Patrick gets Paul's best suit out for the body. Sam goes to give her condolences and tells Patrick that Andy and Paul were involved in dealing drugs. Anthony arrives in the square and Patrick is pleased to see him. Patrick says Paul was murdered by Andy Hunter - Sam, Andy's wife told him earlier today. Anthony asks someone to explain what on earth has been going on.

Alfie and the Moons are in the cramped flat and Danny says No 41 is perfect, big and empty. Jake and Danny argue about it again. Danny tries to persuade him.

Pat brings Andy a cup of coffee and she says she didn't sleep last night, she wishes he hadn't told her, and Andy say try whisky, and is generally unsympathetic. Andy introduces Jake and Danny, you can tell they're related by the vacant look. He tells Pat to keep an eye on them. Danny says irritatingly OK Mrs Hunter, and Pat says what?! He says you're Andy's mother, right? Pat puts him straight! Jake backs off and realises Pat will take no nonsense from them.

Zoe takes a pregnancy test, which is positive, at last, how nicely ironic. Little Mo is there and assumes that Zoe was worried that she'd lost her baby, and says cheerfully it's all OK. Zoe cries.

Mo tells Chrissie that Zoe thought she'd lost the baby but it's all OK, just nerves. Chrissie almost gives away her surprise then she tells Den, and watches his reaction, as she says Zoe thought she'd lost the baby. Den says casually no, she'll just be making a fuss, and Chrissie says OK then she will go round to check on Zoe then! Zoe tells Chrissie that she did a pregnancy test and it was positive. Chrissie's clearly very interested to hear this. She says doing the test again must make it all seem real. She asks how long Zoe had known at Christmas. Chrissie ties her down to dates and Zoe says two weeks, and. Chrissie says come off it, you did it to keep Dennis. Chrissie leaves and Zoe says sorry.. and nearly admits it, and then just says thank you. Chrissie is upset and cries as she leaves, but manages to do so only in the darkness as she walks across the square, and she looks OK, if grim, when she walks back into the Vic. Zoe is also tearful as she goes downstairs to her birthday party, with Kareena and Mickey and blows out the candles on her 21st cake. She says she can't go clubbing after all, because of the baby.

Anthony goes to see Sam, who tells him Paul was delivering drugs for Andy. She says he was involved in other things as well, not just with Andy. Anthony goes to see Pat and asks details, and she evades the questions. Andy walks in and Anthony asks for a word. Andy says convincingly if Anthony can find any concrete evidence that he had anything to do with Paul's death he'll turn himself in.

Danny takes Nana to see No 41, and Danny lies that he has put the deposit down today. Jake looks irritated, and Alfie can't believe it. Jake asks Danny if he's going to teach Nana to pick locks to get into the house, and Danny says he already got the locks changed.

Jayne brings her stuff to stay at Ian's, and the kids ask awkward questions while Ian and Jayne look scarily like identical twins when they cuddle!

Chrissie tells Den about Zoe's baby, dragging it out so that he thinks the story of the miscarriage is the case, saying how upset Zoe is and Den replies that it's lucky she has her family, and then Chrissie drops the bombshell saying it's hard being a single mum, Zoe's checked and she is "still" pregnant. Den looks grim.

Thu 3 Feb 2005

Patrick and Yolande are mourning as it's the day of Paul's funeral. Stacey tells Lucy that they left her in charge - and Lucy tries to take a bar of chocolate. Stacey stops her, saying there's CCTV. They discuss Jayne and Stacey says it sounds like Ian and she are "doing it". Ian arrives and tells her not to be late for tea. Stacey tells Lucy it's the big announcement time, so everything is up for grabs, make sure you get some.

Lucy follows Stacey's money-grabbing advice, feigning tears when they announce it, and Ian follows her, while Peter stays with Jayne and says it was pretty obvious really. Lucy gets 20 quid, and smugly shows Stacey later.

Patrick tells Sam he has told the police what she told him, and they will be visiting her. He also tells Andy to enjoy his freedom for now, he has told the police about Paul's drug involvement, he spoke to the right people.

Andy goes to warn Sam not to tell the police anything. She scoffs at his threats and says she is a Mitchell. He says this isn't just bruises, he knows he made a mistake, sold a bit of Charlie, but these people don't mess about - Paul was a grass and that's why he was killed - so he couldn't say anything else, so she should think about that before she says anything. Andy says if she thinks he's bluffing, call his bluff.

Danny and Jake finally persuade Alfie to move into Janine's old house. Pat encourages Jake, who makes a good story about the agent being keen to let it quickly, so Pat is convinced that it's legitimate. Danny promises to get furniture, and he steals a removal van, complete with contents from outside a house elsewhere in London. They move in, and Nana is happy. However, the electricity cuts out, as Danny tries to bypass the meter to get electricity, and hotwires a few cables, rather ineptly.

Alfie sees the electricity is a fire hazard and insists that Jake and Danny give him the number of the landlord. He realises that they are squatting, which (rather surprisingly) comes as a surprise to Alfie.

Den hassles Zoe who says she is pretending. Chrissie sees Den talking seriously to Zoe. Den tells her to be at her place in half an hour. He confronts her about telling Chrissie she is still pregnant. She says she had to, Chrissie was asking, but she isn't pregnant. Den says Charlie has been hassling him about Dennis and saying she isn't eating or sleeping, so when he came to see her he was still 50-50, but now he knows she really is pregnant, and obviously, it's his. Zoe waffles pathetically about a bloke she met at a house party and had sex with. Zoe starts snivelling and wails that she is pregnant and it's his.

Later, Den offers to pay Charlie and Zoe money each month for the baby. Chrissie is furious and Den's whole explanation sounds very suspicious.

Sam tells the police she can't remember anything about Andy's business. Andy is cheerful and lets Pat and Jake go home early. Sam goes to tell Patrick and as he's gone, she tells Anthony the new facts that Andy told her about Paul. Anthony makes her come to tell Patrick, who doesn't take the news very well, and insists that they have to find the murderer. Patrick says he has money, and Anthony has to shout at him to make him realise that no-one will be able to find the killer, as it was a professional hit.

Fri 5 Feb 2005

Little Mo thanks Chrissie for the offer of money, and Chrissie tell sher it was Den, and is secretly furious.

Alfie gets a visit from the letting agents who say there is a new tenant for the house, and what are they doing there?

He goes to the betting shop and tells Jake and Danny to sort it out, and Pat asks what's up, and Jake and Danny say they have to go out to sort things out. Jake tells Danny that Pat doesn't know they are squatting and that's how he wants it to stay.

Keith moans to Little Mo that Billy hasn't opened the video shop for days and he has been stuck watching Groundhog Day for days (gosh, how hi-larious). Mo sends Garry round to check on Billy. He tells Billy off for having the place like a tip and Billy tells him to shut up. Garry tells Mo, who insists Garry get Billy out so she can go round to clean up the flat. Billy arrives home and is annoyed at her intrusion. They argue and Mo whines annoyingly that she still cares about Billy and wants to be friends. He says no.

Chrissie asks Den for full details of the money he gave Zoe's baby, since he had told her he had no money. Den says he got the cheque from Sharon for the club, and it's only a couple of grand. Chrissie is furious! Den says this isn't up for discussion, the money is for the kid. Chrissie nastily congratulates Zoe on getting loads of money from Den. Zoe says she doesn't want any money from Den, and Chrissie says sarcastically "oh yes, you *want* to spend the rest of your life freezing your bits off on a market stall."

Zoe confronts Den, and says she wants nothing. Den says sorry, and Zoe is sarcastic about his bullying. Den says he feels strongly about "our" baby. He says he wants to put it right, and Chrissie is only interested in the money, he can buy her some perfume and she'll be fine. Den says what happens now is about you, me and our baby. Zoe snivels and Den says sarcastically is she crying over Dennis, oh dear. Zoe says buy something else, he is coming nowhere near her baby.

Patrick moans to Anthony that maybe he didn't treat Paul as well as him, after he found out Paul wasn't his son. Anthony says Patrick was fine and goes off in a cab. Yolande comforts Patrick.

Johnny Allen arrives and asks for black tea, no sugar in the cafe. Jake chats up Chrissie and asks her why she's upset. He says her bloke's not worth it and he watches Tricia, so he knows that all she has to do is talk it over, tell him what he's done wrong and he will beg her to give him another chance. Chrissie says maliciously that some things don't deserve another chance.

Johnny Allen goes to the Vic and says "cheers Den" and Den asks how he knows his name. Johnny says ominously he never forgets someone he has met before.

Lucy mopes around, trying to get more money out of Ian. Stacey tells her to be unpredictable and mix it up a bit to get more attention. She is rude to Keith who is equally rude back, and forces her to go and get him some lager as he is an "invalid". She sighs and goes to get the lager, then gleefully refuses to server him as she's under 18 so it's not allowed. Keith whines that she is deliberately winding him up [which she obviously is].

Chrissie asks Den to talk, and says he isn't telling her things, and she wants him to tell her everything, or there is no point in renewing their vows - so no more lies, secrets. She says he has to tell her everything about the baby. He casually says yes, and then tells her to make it up with Zoe. Chrissie looks tearful again.

Jayne tries to cheer up Lucy by painting her toenails. Lucy is cheerful until Ian comes home and then she runs to her room sulkily.

Pat arrives to see the Moons at the new home, and offers her help to decipher the things like the wrong taps, and brings some curtains. Johnny Allen arrives and it transpires that he is the real new tenant. He makes some rather ominous comments about the old faces around here being dead. He says hello to Pat (Patricia Harris) and asks if she's still "working" (on the game)!!!. Pat frowns.

Chrissie goes round and tells Zoe that Den is a control freak and he will be all over her until he gets the baby. She tells Zoe that she has to keep control, and if she takes one penny form Den, he will run her life - does she want that? Zoe says she thought about adoption, and Chrissie says Den wouldn't allow it. Chrissie advises abortion, and Zoe whines "what if Kat had done that" (after being raped by her uncle). [Well, we'd have one fewer stupid whore popping out unwanted babies in grotty bedsits, to be neglected and grow up on the street as criminals, so win-win I think]. Chrissie says every situation is different, and there is more choice nowadays.

Mon 7 Feb 2005

Alfie packs his stuff up and whines at Jake, who says it could be OK, Johnny may be OK.

Meanwhile Johnny is arranging his drivers who have a lorry of deliveries, which knocks over Martin's apples. Johnny is apologetic and helps pick up the apples and pays for them all. He asks Martin about Pete and Arthur. Pauline asks Martin who it was, and Pat tells her. Pat goes to accost Johnny who calls her Patricia and asks why she's so chilly towards him. He says he remembers when she was always pleased to see him. She says she only wanted him to think that, and just stay away from her.

Chrissie and Den get a visit from the vicar to confirm the wedding vows. Then Chrissie sees the bank statement, with a huge direct debit payment from their joint account. She confronts Den, who says it's a pension scheme, and for them both. Chrissie doesn't believe it and goes to see a friend (a solicitor), and tells her all about the little bitch who's having Den's baby, and how pleased he is about it, when he laughed at her when she suggested it for herself. Chrissie starts to cry a little. She goes on and on about the money Den is giving to his whore's brat. The solicitor tells her to get the bank statements and get all her money out of joint accounts so Den can't get to it. Chrissie tells her that Den keeps it in a safe which only he has a key to. They distract Den and take the key from the top of the Vic till. Old Mo comes in and asks for the money that he offered Zoe, and Den hands over a wad of cash. Den goes and rubs it in with Zoe, saying he will be with her every step of the way.

In the chippy, Sam asks Ian for more responsibility since Spencer has gone, and he says it's fine. She orders a huge stock of cheap coley. Ian says it isn't a good deal if it's a waste of money and no-one buys it. Danny is there and keeps backing Sam up and interrupting Ian, making it ten times worse. Ian says Sam won't be ordering any more, and she walks out, saying she's quit.

The scum twins open the door to a man who is checking up from the job centre. They run around looking for their parents, to tell them about the benefit snoop who may catch their cheating parents out, and they find Rosie doing her cleaning job (fortunately for her, the job centre man isn't with them!). They go home and the man asks them about their marital status as Keith's benefits are claimed on him being a single man, so they are both getting the state handouts individually. Keith says the term "couple" is not applicable, and although they live here, and have children together, they don't share a bedroom, so are not a couple, due to his bad back.

They insist that they are both individual single people, which is why they are claiming separately. The visitor asks to see the sleeping arrangements, and it's perfectly obvious that they are lying, as Rosie has the large bedroom with a double bed, then Keith then claims he is sleeping on the couch!

Later, Rosie goes into the shop and Stacey comments about benefit fraud being a serious crime.

Johnny Allen talks in a chatty way to Alfie, who apologises profusely about squatting. Johnny says he doesn't mind about Alfie and Nana, he is a bit miffed about Jake and Danny.

Andy is amazed that Johnny has bought the club, and says in an off-guard comment "how did you get Den to sell it to you?" Johnny says he bought it from his daughter, and says smugly he's surprised Andy didn't make an offer, since it's right in his area. Andy looks irritated.

Johnny goes to the Vic and introduces himself to Den, who finally remembers the name. Johnny says the club is his so although he likes the pub, they are now the competition. He looks around and Dot and Jim are at the bar. Johnny buys a drink for "Dot Cotton". He goes and chats, and she corrects her name and introduces him to Jim (who whispers quietly that he never knew Dot knows Johnny Allen, so he is clearly "known"), and he asks after Nick. Dot says she doesn't keep in touch. Johnny says he's sorry he wasn't around to keep an eye on Nick.

Pauline arrives and Johnny says sarcastically that he has missed her sunny disposition and says he has to go - a horse to bet on. Pauline ignores him and moans at Dot for being late, and then makes a snide comment that Johnny will soon be making his presence felt around here if he's back to stay. He goes to place a bet and Jake apologises very humbly. Johnny tells him a little story about a racehorse he backed falling at a fence and he then asked for odds on it being destroyed and the bookie wouldn't take the bet, and he says if Jake and Danny fall at another fence, no-one will take a bet on their survival either.

Chrissie and the woman solicitor open the safe quickly and find that Den is giving Zoe �00 a month. Chrissie is horrified and she's told that she has to get her name on the deeds - she isn't automatically entitled to half, even if they are married. The woman says she might be able to manage it, and Chrissie asks her to get it done before the joke wedding vow renewal on Thursday. [Since this will presumably require Den's signature, I imagine some deception will be required]. Chrissie is very bitter, and they cook up a plan to make the wedding vows an interesting affair - to humiliate Den. She whispers the first stage of her plan starts now, and offers Sam a job starting on Thursday, and Sam's very surprised, saying Den won't like it, but Chrissie says she is asking, not Den, so think about it.

Tue 8 Feb 2005

Den visits Zoe and acts all paternal to Freddie. He goes on about her baby being part of his family and she tries to give him back the money he hands to her. Little Mo tells Den that Zoe is grateful and he will make a great grandfather. Chrissie is irritated and tells Den she needs help running the pub, so has offered Sam a job. Den is annoyed and Chrissie says we owe her, so she wants to do the right thing by her. Chrissie's solicitor friend (Amanda) is there and quietly says she suggests that Chrissie keeps him happy until after she has got her half of the pub.

Alfie gets a card from Spencer on the anniversary of his parents' death.

Ian has to cover the chippy and Lucy acts very sulky, so Jayne offers to cook pancakes for them (which Ian had promised to do). Lucy is ungrateful and complains about the food. Peter is happily tossing pancakes, and Ian arrives home and Lucy is clingy. Jayne tells Ian that Lucy was difficult, and she leaves, despite Ian wanting her to stay the night.

Old Mo tells Zoe a few home truths about the money she will need for the baby. She says Zoe won't be able to look after the stall as well as her baby. Zoe storms out and gives Den back the money. Den has a go at Zoe to tell her that she won't get rid of him that easily.

Charlie argues with Old Mo about taking Den's money. Charlie says there is no free money where Den is concerned, he will stick his nose in later. Old Mo says in that case he will be pleased that Zoe gave it back, and Charlie is indeed pleased.

Sam whines to Minty about Ian's job, and asks him for money to go out with Danny. Minty says no, he works for Ian, he has to wear the stupid uniform, it's called earning a living, and Sam is just getting a reputation for not being able to stick a job. He concludes he's not a cash machine and whose fault is it if she has no money?

Fat Sonia is looking particularly pasty and greasy today, and she greedily asks Jayne for a full English breakfast as it's her day off so she is spoiling herself before she goes to cover the launderette. She arrives, and comments about the washing Zoe is doing, and Zoe snaps at her, and Sonia accuses her of swanning about like no-one else matters. Zoe snivels a bit about how stupid it was of her to get pregnant. Sonia starts being sympathetic. Zoe says she only wanted Dennis, not a baby. Sonia mumbles that maybe he will come back. Zoe knows he won't. Sonia goes on "nuffin can take the baby away". Zoe is interested in talking about adoption and Sonia says she has options, but none of them are really free, so be sure to pick the right one.

Jake goes to talk to Alfie, to tell him to stop whining, and saying how he used to look up to Alfie and he saw what Alfie did for Spencer and it helped him look after Danny. Alfie says he was 25, but Jake was just a kid. Jake says yes, I win, and Alfie laughs and says OK no more whining.

Chrissie orders 100 bottles of champagne for the Thursday, adding "make it vintage". Dot comes to see Den and complains about the party invitations to the wedding vow renewal. Dot says she will be very disappointed if it's just a party, it should be a sober occasion. Den says does she want him to serve holy water with the G&Ts? Dot drones on about religion and how it should be a serious vow.

The solicitor gives Chrissie the deeds contract - all it needs is a signature. She goes to get Sam to agree to work, and a bit of flattery does the trick. Meanwhile Den finds Zoe and rather threateningly tells her it's his baby too. She whines on and on and on. Zoe threatens back about Chrissie and how she doesn't know about his baby. Den says he's not messing up on this baby, it is his kid. Zoe says Den didn't sleep with her to make a new life - he slept with her to ruin Dennis's life, and Dennis was his kid too.

Chrissie puts on a very sparkly dress to go out with Amanda, and she mutters that the paperwork is all signed, and humiliation day is Thursday, Den will get his come-uppance then.

Thu 10 Feb 2005

Ian brings Den all the expensive catering arrangements for the vow ceremony. Amanda brings the documents for Chrissie and she says all it needs is a signature.

Den goes to see Zoe, and he threatens her with courts, going on about grandfather's rights if the child has an unfit mother. He tells her that he'd better not see her at the ceremony, as he doesn't want her upsetting Chrissie by making a scene.

Back at the Vic, Chrissie shows him her "non-wedding" present, it's her half share in the Vic, the papers are all prepared. Den is surprised and says he told her he'd sort it out, but he signs it as he is put on the spot and can't refuse. Chrissie mentions Zoe and Den says she's not coming. Chrissie goes to find Zoe and invite her, saying it would mean a lot to her, and they will be family. Zoe says she's ill and doesn't want to go to her stupid vow renewal. Chrissie snaps at her and Zoe says sorry and whines that she doesn't want the baby. Chrissie puts on her sympathetic act. Zoe moans that her family wouldn't understand her getting rid of the baby. Chrissie says she will support her whatever. Zoe then says something and it transpires that she was talking about adoption, not abortion, which is a surprise to Chrissie (and me). Chrissie goes back to Amanda and says she now feels a bit guilty trying to entice Zoe to the party deliberately to humiliate her.

Lucy moans about her dress, as she wore it last year. Jayne offers to take her out shopping. Lucy gets the most expensive new dress she can.

The scum twin (male) goes to talk to Stacey who says she doesn't want thieves in her shop. Yolande tells her off for rudeness.

Alfie goes to talk to Johnny about the house, and says he doesn't want to owe him favours. He says people like Andy and him are not ones he wants to be in debt to. Johnny says don't compare him to Andy, and adds if Alfie has the bottle to stand up to him (Johnny), he should find Andy a pushover. He says he bought the house to rent out, so he's delighted to find tenants already. Alfie mumbles about only verbal contracts, and a short while later, Johnny arrives at the house with a tenancy contract for Alfie to sign.

Chrissie moans on to Amanda who says she could get more than half, but she'd have to go for the long game and keep quiet for now. Also, if the baby comes, it will drain Den's money.

Den has problems with the pub toilets and Johnny offers him the use of his plumbers from the club. Den thanks him and offers him a drink. Chrissie is late and the vicar gets impatient. Pauline, Old Mo and Rosie go on about how late Chrissie is. Charlie asks Old Mo where Zoe is, and goes back to fetch her, saying that she has nothing to be ashamed of, so should be there. He persuades her to come with him, saying there is nothing she could ever do to make him ashamed of her - even supporting Millwall. He jokes "you're not supporting Millwall are you?" She smiles and says it's OK she won't show him up that much.

The renewal vows are made with the pair of them "affirming their commitment" and Chrissie keeps quiet.

Then Chrissie takes Zoe for a quiet chat - saying she thinks about Zoe and her baby all the time and she will come up with a plan for them.

Fri 11 Feb 2005

Billy brings all the old baby things in his flat to Mo's as they are no use to him now.

Chrissie's friend Amanda leaves, saying all she needs to do is get rid of the baby then she'll have got all she can out of Den.

Mickey brings his brat into the shop and he hangs around Stacey, stealing a bottle of spirits/alcopop, and he and Stacey sit around drinking it. Stacey asks him if he has ever kissed anyone, and he says yes, and tries to kiss her. She shouts at him. He stands up, falls down drunk and hits his head on a shelf and lies unconscious on the floor. Stacey runs out and finds Mickey. Mickey calls an ambulance and his parents, and mad Rosie and thieving Keith have a go at Stacey for getting him drunk. Stacey tells Keith to get out of her shop. Keith goes to get Darren's coat and lifts up a huge stack of bottles to get it (so much for his bad back). Stacey phones up the benefit fraud office and says she has evidence (the CCTV footage of the shop).

Chrissie asks Zoe how she is and Zoe says she will give the baby away. Chrissie says Den will find the baby as he is related, and will she like living opposite it while Den bring it up, or would she rather get rid of it, although she knows Zoe doesn't want to think of it.

Johnny asks Andy to do a job for him. Andy is reluctant and Johnny persuades him by saying he is retiring and he needs someone to step up to the work, and he has something to be done - is Andy interested. Johnny also asks Andy to go round to sort Den out, he has lent him his club plumbers, and Den needs to be told who's in charge and not to take liberties.

Johnny wins 800 quid and hands some to Pat, saying buy yourself something. She refuses. He finds Jake and says he has a job for him, but Andy is heading it up.

Jake chats Chrissie up in the cafe again. Zoe comes in to talk and says she thinks Chrissie is right, she doesn't want a baby, and she should have an abortion. Chrissie says whatever she decides, she will be there for Zoe. Zoe says what will she tell people. Chrissie says you can always make something up - accidents happen. Zoe says she has to do it today, or she will change her mind, but she just wants it over.

Chrissie promises to arrange everything. She takes a lot of money from Den's wallet and says she is going shopping. Den tells her there's some money in his wallet and Chrissie declines (knowing it's already empty!). Den makes Sam work a double shift, and she whines about it.

Den looks in his wallet and asks Sam if she took money, and she is deeply offended. Den goes out looking for Chrissie. She has already taken Zoe off to the the clinic. Zoe has doubts and Chrissie says if her mother was here, she knows what she would say. She says it will all be over soon, and she can get on with the rest of her life. Zoe hesitantly goes into the surgery. Chrissie smugly does her make-up. Zoe comes out and says nothing. She goes home and sits in the dark.

Andy arrives in the Vic and insults Sam, and tells Den that Johnny wants his plumbers back. Den asks is Andy Johnny's gopher now, he'll be cleaning his shoes next. He says when he first met Andy, he was going to kill him, how times change. Andy is irritated and tells Den just do what he's told by Johnny. Den replies - like you, you mean? Andy says he's on the rise. Den says he hasn't got it in him any more and he could have had everything Sam owned, but he let it go - whereas he (Den) is here, owns the pub, and he has exactly what he wanted, work that out. Andy does, and then he tells Sam that Den and her solicitor conned her out of the Vic.

Billy gets drunk and abusive in the Vic and Den throws him out. He sits on the bench in the square snivelling. Johnny Allen passes and says he's a Mitchell isn't he? Billy replies he's nobody.

Chrissie arrives home after her "shopping trip" and tells Den her mobile went dead. Den has a go at her about the money she took, saying next time ask first. Chrissie say yes, what's yours is mine, etc, and then she tells Den that Zoe has had a miscarriage and puts on a sad face.

Mon 14 Feb 2005

Den is looking angry. He quizzes Chrissie on the exact details of the miscarriage, and she says they had just ordered in a tapas bar in Soho. She tells Den to go and rest. He dashes off to see Zoe and says he is surprised she is up and about and asks her precisely what happened. She says it was after they had eaten, and Den catches her out in the lie. He says she had an abortion, didn't she? He says what does she think will happen if Chrissie found out. Zoe says she'd leave him, if she had any sense. He says no, Chrissie usually blames the women who lead him astray and she will get her revenge later.

Chrissie realises that Den has gone but finds Sam trashing the Vic. She has obviously thought about Andy's remark. Chrissie and Sam pull each other's hair a bit in a silly little spat. Sam cuts herself, and finally stops her hysterical ranting. Chrissie tells her that Den got Marcus on his side and tricked everyone. Chrissie says Den is ruthless and she is not the only person Den has destroyed. She says she wants to take Den for everything. Chrissie says she will tell Sam everything soon - but not here, they will make an excuse to go somewhere private later. Sam is sulky when working, and Chrissie tells her to play it cool.

Johnny goes to find Jake and Andy and goes to the betting shop office (he treats it as his own, to Andy's annoyance). He says he has something to sell, there's five grand for Andy and two for Jake in it. He will be busy with the opening of his new club. He tells Jake to keep Danny well clear.

He tells Pat that she's looking lovely and she retorts that he's not. Johnny asks her about Andy and she tells him not to get on the wrong side of him. Pat warns Andy to be careful about Johnny.

It's Dot and Jim's anniversary and Sonia warns Jim that Dot has gone to a lot of trouble. Jim moans that he hasn't found anything special enough. He sees an old gramophone on Alfie's stall but it's 120 quid so he puts his 20 quid on a long shot at the bookies. Pat sighs as she takes the bet, and says she can run faster than that nag. It loses, and Jim ends up borrowing the gramophone from Alfie's stall. Dot gives him an old signed football picture which he loves.

Chrissie tells Den he can take the rest of the day off - she and Sam will manage. She says it could be worse, he still has her and the Vic.

Andy hears, from Eddie, about a serious criminal who is heading this way. He makes some calls and deduces that this is connected with Johnny's job, and finds out it could be worth up to 3/4 of a million and is annoyed that he is only getting 5K. He asks Johnny for more details, and Johnny says it's an easy job, if he's not interested, just say so. Andy says humbly "sorry to bother you."

He says to Eddie it's time people remember who's boss around here and he goes to ask Alfie for protection money for his stall. Just to complete Andy's humiliation, Alfie laughs at him when he tries to collect it in the Vic.

Ian is romantic with Jayne and suggests a romantic evening out and Lucy looks on evilly. Ian goes out and Pauline arrives in the cafe saying that she wouldn't be surprised if Ian is out choosing an engagement ring for tonight. Jayne is shocked. She pre-empts Ian when he says he wants to ask her something. He says he wasn't going to ask that, actually, he was just going to ask her to move in. She agrees.

Rosie grabs her stupid chav brat Darren's hand and screeches at Stacey again for letting him drink. Stacey tells Lucy later that those dole scroungers will get their come-uppance soon.

Sam forces Chrissie to come outside and tell her what she means. Chrissie starts, but the Zoe arrives and whines and wails that she didn't want an abortion, and Chrissie made her have one. She tells Sam that Chrissie is tricking her. Chrissie totally loses her temper and shouts at Zoe did she really want to bring up Den's child - yes she knows, Zoe was having an affair with her husband and pregnant with his child. Sam and Zoe are not persuaded, and say Chrissie is evil for not talking Zoe out of the abortion (!). Chrissie rants that Den is responsible for all of this, and they are all in the same boat of being betrayed by Den, and they all hate him so they should work together. Zoe and Sam are a bit thick and don't seem to comprehend that Chrissie is so upset about Den's affair, nor do they trust her, so they both flounce off in a huff, saying they aren't interested in Chrissie's scheme (whatever it is, she hasn't explained it yet).

Tue 15 Jan 2005

Alfie's stall has been trashed, and Andy walks by and says he could always tell the insurance it was an act of God. Alfie says sarcastically "is that what you're calling yourself nowadays?". Andy says it has a certain ring, and he just has to remember one word - respect. Andy walks into the bookies and is very cheerful. Pat tells him that Eddie is in the office. Eddie asks how's things, and Andy says he has a plan to deal with Johnny, and he will let Jake do the deal with Strickland, and then there will only be two Moons left.

Meanwhile Johnny asks Alfie if he'd like him to find out who did it. Alfie declines.

Sam tells Zoe she's sorry to hear about the baby. Zoe snaps at her. Chrissie watches the exchange from the window, and Den looks over and moans about Zoe acting like she's not even sorry. Chrissie acts all mournful. She finds Zoe later, and says Zoe says Chrissie is a murderer. Chrissie says ruthlessly, she doesn't know, it wasn't her signature on the consent form.

Sam phones Grant leaving a message for him to call her, as she needs his advice. She is in the cafe when Chrissie asks to talk to her and offers her half of the Vic to help her set up Den and take all his businesses. Sam refuses to listen, saying if Chrissie keeps on she will tell Den what she's planning. She tells Sam that Chrissie will see how to handle Den when she meets Sam's brothers.

Zoe is sympathetic to Demi when Stacey says that she's 14 and shouldn't be dragging a screaming brat into the shop, because it's frightening off the customers. They chat in the cafe, and Zoe gets even more mopey. Then Andy walks in and coolly says congratulations on her news, or there could have been another Slater stain on the earth - a miscarriage was a blessing, or she'd have ended up like her useless mother, burdened all her life. Zoe says she wasn't useless, she was brave. She goes to the Vic and whines and wails to Sam about the fact that a Slater never has an abortion and she has disgraced her family.

In the chav scum household, Keith the thief is glued to the television and ignoring the other annoying twin, who wants to play football. He runs out with the TV remote, which is the only thing that will get his lazy slob of a father out of his chair. He begs him to play football, so Keith childishly warns him that he is very skilled and used to be on the books for United. (Yes, I remember his claims of managerial talent and how truthful that was as well!) Keith plays energetically, if incompetently, managing to hit Pauline on her head with the football. He doesn't notice he is being filmed by the man who previously visited them investigating his family's fraudulent benefit claims, and who had (then) said that Keith's claim of having a bad back wasn't in question, just whether they were a couple or not.

A little while later, he visits Keith's house with the video evidence. Keith asks if film has been doctored, and he thinks it isn't admissible in a court of law. He is told, think again. Keith says he was in agony afterwards, and is told that a medical examination will be required to prove that, and this is quite serious, as it would be taking away his incapacity benefit. rosie wails that they can't do that. [Oh disaster, one of the family might actually have to obtain paid work, instead of lazing around scrounging handouts for their entire lives].

Johnny calls Jake to come with him and Danny wants to tag along. They get rid of him, but he is rather over-excited about the snub. They go to the Vic and Andy goes to talk to Johnny, who says brusquely that they are having a private conversation. Andy is irritated by the snub. he goes back to the bookies and winds up Danny about Jake having replaced him with him new friend Johnny. Danny is easy to wind up and goes to whinge at Jake, insisting he tell Johnny Allen to stuff is job. Jake tries to stop him, saying that Johnny will (literally) kill him. However, Danny doesn't listen, so Jake quickly lies that it wasn't Johnny's idea, it was his choice. Danny overreacts totally unbelievably and punches him, and says he isn't his brother.

At the Slaters', Charlie decides to cheer Zoe up, and apparently guilt over a dead baby will easily be fixed by a bowl of chicken soup and a film - "something funny with a bit of kissing". [Is Charlie actually a teletubby in disguise?]

Johnny takes Jake to Andy's office to clean up his face, and Andy is annoyed, but is dismissed summarily, and Johnny says he will let him know when his office is free again! [Well, Andy knows exactly where he stands now!]

Jake goes home and finds Danny about to leave and asks him to stay. Danny walks out with a word.

Andy asks Alfie for protection money and Alfie says Andy should take lessons from his boss Johnny. Andy says he isn't his boss, and Alfie laughs that Johnny owns him. Andy is even more annoyed and goes to the Vic and insults Sam, telling Eddie that she is the sorriest woman, and that couple there (Den and Chrissie) are the ones who conned her out of the place. Johnny comes over to tell Andy, rather patronisingly, that this is not the time or place for such comments. Andy continues to insult her and asks if she'll refer to her invisible brothers. A few minutes later, Sam gets a call from Grant. She goes to Chrissie and says she's in on her plan, but wants the Vic in its entirety with the Mitchell name on it. Chrissie agrees readily.

Eddie tells Andy to take it easy, and then Johnny comes over to tell Andy that the job on Friday will be his alone, Jake will be busy elsewhere. Eddie says quietly that Andy had better be somewhere else on Friday. Andy is very annoyed, and drunkenly goes to the bar and shouts for Sam, snapping his fingers at her and calling "Oi dimwit .... stupid, I'm talking to you!" [Amusingly accurate, but it doesn't go down well!] Den tells him that's enough and to drink up and go. Pat interrupts Andy to tell him to sit down, and he insults her. Den tells him to leave, and Andy stands his ground. Den says there are two ways he's leaving, (the easy or hard way) and Johnny interrupts that there is a third way but he doesn't want to go there (ie in a box). Johnny tells Jake to "show" Andy out. Den adds that he is barred. Outside, Andy tells Eddie that he has a plan, but he needs another fall guy, he will get Danny to go with him, and he will take the �0,000 from Strickland and rip Johnny off. Eddie looks uncertain (bet he won't be around for a very long time after that goes down).

Thu 17 Feb 2005

Sam visits Zoe, who is moping around in bed. She tells her to get dressed, they have things to discuss, and Zoe refuses. Sam threatens to tell Charlie the truth if Zoe doesn't get dressed and come with her. Zoe sulkily does so. Sam takes her to meet Chrissie. They tell Zoe they have a plan to get all his money, and Zoe says money, that's nothing.

Zoe's stall is trashed and Alfie apologises to Old Mo, who is opening it, saying maybe if he'd done something about it when his was done this wouldn't have happened. Johnny Allen passes and says he will sort it.

Eddie visits Andy in his office, and asks if he has reconsidered, since crossing Johnny is a dangerous move. Andy is shredding all his documents and has his passport on the table.

A large bouquet is delivered to the Vic and Johnny is there and jokes that he sent some special flowers to Den's funeral, is he returning them? Den says they're for his wife, and Johnny recalls Angie and carrying her upstairs one night with Pete Beale. Den says there was always someone having to carry her upstairs. He gives the flowers to Chrissie, who doesn't even pretend to be pleased. Den says she always gets a miserable look whenever people discuss Angie.

Keith gets in the cab to the medical, and makes a huge fuss about his "bad back". Adi (you may have thought that he and his family had disappeared from the face of the earth, but apparently not) tells him to get a move on (getting into the cab), it's not him that Keith has to convince.

Johnny does a deal to give them new cars in exchange for a percentage of the profits - he suggests 10% but Sasha makes it 7%.

Pauline sits Peter and Lucy and asks Lucy why she is worried. Lucy says that her father is like Henry the 8th and is bad at having wives, then it's horrible when they leave. Pauline says she thinks Jayne is different.

Meanwhile Jayne tells Ian she thinks that she should delay moving in. When Pauline brings them back, she whispers to Jayne - how do the kids know that you'll be around any longer than any of the others. Lucy apologises sweetly, and says she didn't want her to move in at first because of Laura, but she has changed her mind now.

Eddie finds Danny looking rough in the cafe. He tells Andy, who goes to propose to him that he could do the job with him to see Strickland instead of Jake. Danny hesitates and Andy is annoyed and says the job is tomorrow, so he needs an answer.

Andy goes back to his office, where Johnny finds him and tells him that the job has changed a bit - the time has been moved forward. Andy is annoyed and Johnny tells him to forget it if he can't handle it. Andy says sorry, and Johnny tells him that he has a bad knack of getting people's backs up, the people round here are the power base - get them on side, it's all about respect.

Alfie goes into Andy's office, and shouts at him about the stalls, saying that this is peanuts, why is he doing it. Andy says it's not about the money, and says, let's make it 25% (rather than 20%), so think carefully about your next move, these debts can mount up, and he no longer has a wife he can take in lieu of payment. Alfie lunges at him and Eddie fields him. Alfie says "don't do this Andy", and Andy laughs "that's just what Kat said."

Den sees Chrissie get back with Sam, and tells Sam she's in charge, and says to Chrissie that he has something to show her. He smirks, and goes to get the car. Chrissie says (looking worried) that he knows something. Sam asks if Chrissie left the solicitor's papers lying around. She says no, but Den is up to something. She is very nervous when Den takes her to a graveyard, and then he shows her Angie's grave and says it would have been their wedding anniversary (37 years) and he wouldn't resurrect a minute of it. He says all he wants is what he has, and maybe a couple of kids to cap it? Chrissie is amazed, and can't believe that he is saying that now, when she had asked him for that before on numerous occasions. He says he's changed, and could be different with her. Chrissie asks what went wrong with Angie. Den says she drunk herself into her grave. Chrissie asks if she was like that when he met her, and when he says no, she asks what changed her. [Being married to Den is the obvious implication.] Den turns to Chrissie and says he doesn't say this often, but he loves her and if she gives him another chance he won't mess it up.

Pat has overheard that there was an argument, and guesses it's about the stalls, and goes into Andy's office, and tells Andy that he never used to be so cruel, what has got into him? Andy says he can almost hear the word redemption on the tip of her tongue, and must warn her that if she uses it, he will laugh out loud. Pat says she doesn't want to see Andy go under, first Paul, now this. Andy shouts at her not to lecture him on his life, she is painted old trollop, and she hasn't exactly made much of hers [good point, well made]. He grabs her, puts his hand over her mouth to stop her talking and tells her to keep quiet about Paul, they say it's easier after the first one. She is scared and Andy lets her go and hands her a wad of cash, saying that's her wages up to date, get her things on the way out. Pat goes to the Vic and Johnny tells her that dress isn't her colour, he remembers her in that emerald green dress. Pat says she had a lot of dresses. Johnny says he knows, he bought most of them. Pat says if Andy is working for him, then whatever he thinks of her personally, he should keep him in check. Johnny asks her to elaborate, and she hints about the market stalls. Johnny is surprised and says he'll sort it.

Danny arrives at Andy's telling him he won't do any job for Johnny Allen. Andy says what if he said that he hates Johnny as much as Danny, and imagine how he'd look if he were double-crossed by his errand boy, how humiliating that would be? Danny sits down and says he's interested.

Zoe is at home, putting on her Kat-style tarty make-up. Then she goes to find Den. Den and Chrissie arrive home and Den goes behind the bar, while Chrissie goes upstairs, and finds Sam trying to stop Zoe. Zoe says that she knows what will hurt Den - her telling him what she did, because it's kids that matter to him. Chrissie says she's right, but he's moved on, he has just told her that he wants kids with her. Sam, Zoe and Chrissie lock themselves in the bathroom and chat. Zoe explains that she only did it to keep Dennis, so she lied about being pregnant. But Dennis wouldn't touch her so Den said she had to get pregnant, and that was why she did it. But then Dennis walked in on them doing it in Chrissie's bed, and she lost him anyway. Sam is disgusted by the details. Chrissie says that's what Den is like, he twists things until you think you're the one who's mad, that's what happened to Angie, she visited the grave today. She adds "I wonder if she knows the body next to hers isn't really Den's?" Zoe says maybe it should be - we could take out a contract on him. Chrissie says no, she'd rather watch him suffer, and Zoe says there is nothing you can do, he hasn't got a heart! Chrissie says he has, and she knows exactly where it is.

Keith turns up after his medical and apologises to Rosie, it didn't go well. [Presumably his entire income of "invalidity" benefit will stop now they've discovered there's nothing wrong with his back, he's just a lazy skiver]. Rosie looks around and apparently chooses someone who hates her family at random (the pub is full of them, obviously) and shrieks that they tar and feather informers in some places. She's shouting at Pauline, who says she has already said she has no idea who informed on Keith. Rosie doesn't believe her, and throws a drink all over her, and Martin goes to stop Rosie attacking Pauline, so Mickey steps in and there is a general brawl starting, which Den sees and he runs over and vaults over the bar, thus proving he can still do it, although I'm sure there was a springboard hidden there under the taps. He holds the two screeching harridans apart and tells them to get out.

Fri Feb 18 2005

Den sees the sign "Angie's Den" being thrown in the skip. Pauline tells him that name was her idea - she told Sharon that was what Angie was going to name her club.

Johnny tells Andy that the stalls being trashed is causing unrest and Andy can't let that happen on his manor. Andy ignores the advice and asks what the new name Scarlet means, and Johnny says it's the decor.

Jake worries about Danny and talks to Alfie, who says he knows what Danny is like. Meanwhile, Andy prepares Danny, telling him to bring his passport, and once this is done there is no coming back, so stay calm. Danny insults Eddie, calling him Lurch. Eddie remains impassive, and Danny leaves. Andy says his instincts are telling him to walk away, and Eddie asks why he doesn't. [Eddie is obviously very reluctant to cross Johnny.]  Andy says Kenny Strickland is a psychopath but he can't let Johnny get away with this. He also says that Danny is there to do the dirty work, and people like Danny disappear all the time [calling him Stig of the dump, haha].

Jake finds Danny in the cafe and asks if he's been sleeping in a compost heap. Danny says that's a bit personal, and they have a short conversation.

In the Vic, Old Mo and Pat snipe at each other about looking tarty this evening. Pat then goes home and dresses in an especially glittery red dress, just to annoy Old Mo.

Eddie arrives and hands Pat several hundred pounds, saying it's from Andy. Pat takes it straight back and tells Andy that he's feeling guilty, isn't he? Andy says no, refuses to take back the money and says goodbye Pat.

Pauline moans to the Vic builders when she trips over a spade that they left to prop open the door, and she returns later with a very large iron dog-shaped doorstop, which looks rather like Betty, which she makes them use instead to prop open the back doors of the Vic during their building work.

Sonia is already getting ready for her night out (it's about 9am, so she's cutting it fine, if she's really aiming to make herself look remotely unlike an elephant) and Pauline comments that it's a bit early isn't it. She also asks what the green stuff on her face is. Sonia says it's kelp to energise her skin. [She needs more than that to look half-way decent!]

The three witches (Chrissie, Zoe, Sam) meet over a bonfire at the allotments. Sam is annoyed that the document giving Chrissie power of attorney doesn't mention her getting the Vic. Chrissie tells her she has to trust her, she promises, and after tonight, all Den Watts will have left is his own sorry miserable life.

Outside the Vic, Den catches Stacey trying to sneak into the Vic cellars by the back door, and picks up the huge iron doorstop that Pauline left and takes it inside and locks up the doors.

Andy taunts Alfie and he almost attacks him, but Johnny stops him. He asks Alfie to hold off for just one night, he can do what he likes tomorrow.

Chrissie gets in and Den asks where she was. She says doctor's appointment, if they are going to have a baby she thought she'd get advice. Then she says seductively that they should just let nature take its course and goes upstairs. Den has left a present for Chrissie on the bed, a very slinky and glittery dress. She loves it and kisses him, but asks Den what he has done to make him feel guilty. He says he hasn't been very good to her. She turns and shuts the bedroom door for sex, with a rather stony look as she turns away.

Charlie buys Zoe a cheap tacky bracelet, saying he'll get her a real one when he wins the lottery. Zoe loves it, of course, being a cheap tacky sort of girl. Sam comes to collect her for her night at the club.

Danny visits the club, which really does live up to its name, and says it's very "Johnny" - it is like being inside a piece of raw meat. Danny is obviously very agitated and Johnny looks a bit curious, but tells him to go home and calm down.

Everyone in the square seems to be going to the party at the club - Johnny has handed out piles of invitations and is giving away free champagne all night.

Danny arrives at the bookies, and asks Andy what the cake is for? Andy says it's a joke. It's iced with "happy retirement" and is obviously for Johnny. They wait, nervously, and Danny chatters inanely and asks Andy his favourite colour, then favourite animal,saying his is a hippo [Actually Danny's more like a scruffy, loud, hyena]. Andy replies "leg of lamb with mint sauce".

In the Vic Ian is having some sort of aberration and puts on "Born to be Wild" and plays air guitar, surprising everyone. Pat buys everyone a drink with Andy's money. Jim goes on and on and on about there being free drink at the club. Dot says, for the tenth time, they are not going, because she's not having him coming in at 3am rolling drunk.

Pauline asks Den about the builders, starting as if she is about to accuse them of stealing her doorstop, and Den says he's got it - and wouldn't a Rottweiler be more in keeping? Rosie has another go at Pauline, and eventually has to apologise for accusing her of turning them in to the authorities. She then leaves guiltily, and Keith is upset at missing out on Pat's offer of a free drink, and says meanly that he will hold her to it another time.

Ian and Alfie chat a bit and Alfie moans about blokes in suits telling you what to do, and Ian says there's always a bloke round here trying it on, he's tired of having his head flushed down the loo. Ian chatters on, saying it's better to die standing than live on your knees. Alfie takes the comment to heart and leaves immediately.

The club is packed and very glitzy. Johnny finds Stacey, whom he had already refused a ticket (being underage), and laughs and says she's got a lot of nerve, but she'll be having no more of the free champagne. He also warns Jake to stay sober tonight.

There is a knock on the bookies door and Danny goes outside with the package, which is a very unprepossessing cardboard box about the size of a few pounds of drugs, but not as heavy from the way he handled it. Danny shuts the office door (to pretend that he is the only one there). Andy stands in the darkness in the office, then ventures outside, and finds Danny lying still on the floor. Danny gets up saying he couldn't resist the joke. Obviously the swap went OK. Andy takes the cake to the delivery woman and shuts up the bookies door. Danny takes the briefcase of money to the car, where Eddie is waiting to drive away.

Meanwhile, Alfie is at Andy's shouting at him to open the door. Alfie goes over to the bookies and wants a fight. Alfie challenges Andy to a fist fight, and takes off his jacket, but being a bit chubby and clumsy, he can hardly manage to wriggle out of his leather coat, which is an amusing sight. Andy laughs, and says he hasn't the time for this. Alfie punches him. Andy grabs him and says he wanted to kill him for what he did. Alfie shouts that she never loved him, and Andy shouts back that didn't matter because he loved her and she made him happy. Danny gets out of the car and goes to face Andy, on Alfie's side. Andy turns and jumps into the car and Danny tries to get in as well, but it speeds off. Danny sighs and says oh well it was only money, and tells Alfie that Andy is gone - he's not coming back. Alfie asks Danny if he was really leaving his family just for money, and Danny asks if the problem with Andy and Alfie was just all about Kat. He also tells Alfie that he probably ought to keep quiet about him being there tonight.

The woman says she has a message from Mr Hunter, and presents the "retirement" cake to Johnny. He tips her generously with a � note.

In the Vic, Dot lets Jim go to the club, and Pauline says she gave in too easily. Dot says it was a game, Jim thinks he scored a point because she gave in, and then tomorrow morning when he has a hangover she will clean the saucepan cupboard, and score a point herself.

Everyone leaves except Pauline and Dot, and Pauline bickers with Den who gives them both a free drink. Pauline berates Dennis for leaving Zoe, and Dot says he must have had his reasons, he wouldn't have just left his own child without very good reason, and Pauline says the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and he was behaving just like Den. Dot tells them can't they ever stop bickering, and Pauline and Den both say "no!" Dot goes to the toilet and Pauline and Den discuss Sharon. Pauline says how does Chrissie cope with playing second fiddle to Sharon? Den asks Pauline if Dennis is with Sharon, and she says she doesn't think so. He also asks her to give Sharon a message, say he is sorry. Pauline accidentally leaves the iron doorstop on the bar while they are talking and forgets it as she leaves, distracted by the shouting from the street of drunken revellers from the club, and Pauline recognises Martin's voice!

At the club, Zoe, Chrissie and Sam are together, but Zoe is chickening out. Stacey interrupts and asks what they are doing to Zoe, and does she want her to get Old Mo? Zoe says no, she's just going to see Sam. Chrissie has a short phone conversation, and it seems the time is right and her plan is ready to go.

Pauline and Dot leave the Vic and outside, Martin is drunkenly shouting and taking off all his clothes (yeuk!). Den shuts up and turns off the lights. Chrissie arrives home and carefully leaves the back door on the latch so anyone can walk in. She pretends that she's very drunk. She quickly opens some champagne and Den says he's not in the mood. There is a knock on the door and Den assumes it's Pauline back for her doorstop. Chrissie opens it to Sam and Zoe and they stand and confront Den. Den says this should be interesting, and Chrissie says soberly and coldly that Den is in for the worst night of his life.

Den guesses that was Dennis's parting shot, and says full marks for being so devious. And did she make Zoe have an abortion? Zoe says no, and Den says so that was revenge was it? Den says he doesn't deny any of it, he did it all. Sorry wouldn't make the slightest bit of difference. So is Chrissie going to walk out? Den isn't at all worried. Chrissie gives him a document to sign over power of attorney for his business to her, and says he has to leave. Chrissie says he will know what it's like to lose everything you love, to be hurt, betrayed, and can he cope with everyone knowing what he did? Den replies "Or what?" He says is that their idea of blackmail. He retorts is Zoe going to tell her father the gory details? He says Sam was always going to be conned, she has the face for it. She didn't even check the details. Sam gets upset. He says Sam set a fire in the club that almost killed Vicki and her brother hit Sharon so he was never going to forgive her for that. He has shown them all their weaknesses, and they hate it. Den turns to Chrissie, and says her weakness is him, she always takes him back a few months later. Chrissie says not this time, I'm not leaving, you are. Den says this pub is for him and his daughter. He challenges them, listing all the things they say they are going to "expose" that he's done. [Hmm is this a Bond film with the baddie listing his entire list of crimes and dastardly plans conveniently wrapping everything up a few minutes before he dies?] He starts with Zoe, so Zoe, are you going to tell your family that Dennis left you because he found you in bed with me and that I got you pregnant - a man my age? They'll hang out the flags for that. Zoe whines annoyingly that Den made her lie, tell Dennis she was pregnant - he forced her to do it. He tells Sam she could have checked with her husband, who would have prevented her from being conned and he tells her that Chrissie was in it from the start and knew all about Marcus. Den then laughs and turns on Chrissie mercilessly, saying she didn't even figure in his plans. He says this pub is his and Sharon's the only way she'll get him out of here is in a pine box. And so much for the worst night of my life, I'm having a ball, because there is not one single person around here I give a toss about. Sharon emerges from the shadows and Den looks shocked. She says to Chrissie "is this the emergency? You said he was ill." Everyone is amazed (except Chrissie, obviously) and Chrissie says he is, and she wanted Sharon to hear everything he has done from his own mouth so she'd believe it, she needed to know. Sharon replies that she really didn't need to know that at all. Sharon runs out and Den follows her, glancing in fury at Chrissie as he leaves. She says "where's Dennis?" She says she jumped on a plane when she heard he needed her, with only a toothbrush, and it was really hard for her, but she did it. She wanted to give him a second chance - because she thought it wasn't his fault that Zoe got pregnant [How wrong can you be]. She asks again where Dennis is. Den repeats that he doesn't know, adding casually, it's anyone's guess, but you'll get over him. [This callous comment sealed it, if the rest hadn't!] He adds that Sharon is the only person in his life that he ever loved. Sharon says he knew how much she wanted a baby and used it against her, how could he? He lost her the person who made her happier than she'd even been, and she feels contaminated by him, and she brings out the worst in him. She finally tells him that her "dad" died a long time ago, and she is an orphan. She runs off into a taxi. Den is left standing, and Chrissie was right, she has managed to lose Den the only thing he cared about.

Andy is thrilled with his briefcase, containing 3/4 of a million.

Eddie drives Andy away. He says he has to stop for a jimmy, he's been in the car for hours. Andy calmly listens to music until Jake gets in the driver's seat. Andy is shocked, and then Johnny opens the passenger door for a "conversation". Andy says in shock realisation "Eddie". Johnny smirks "it's always the quiet ones". Johnny takes Andy for a walk on a bridge over a busy dual carriageway. Andy asks if this was an excuse to off him. Johnny smiles disarmingly and seems to think it's a silly idea. Andy says he'd be really worried if he'd taken him somewhere quiet. Johnny says to Andy, take a tip - don't bother to retire. He holds out his hand and shakes Andy's firmly. [He doesn't let go] He says enjoy your flight, and pushes Andy backwards off the bridge. There is a screeching of tyres. Jake looks pretty shocked and silently drives Johnny back. They go back to the party [obviously so that everyone thinks he's always been there: it's a good alibi].

In the Vic, Sam says to Chrissie, she's quite a bitch, isn't she? Chrissie says she wasn't until she met Den.

Den comes back in and Chrissie gloats that he finally knows what it's like to lose the one thing that you love. Den frantically attacks Chrissie, and she screams and struggles. Zoe grabs the heavy iron doorstop, which happens to be on the bar, and hits Den over the head with it. He falls down and they all think he is dead, Sam ineptly trying to find a pulse. They all stand around hopelessly, and then they hear people chattering outside and snap out of it. Chrissie tells Sam to lock all the doors and Zoe to go upstairs and turn off all the lights. Chrissie looks at Den's body, and he suddenly wakes up, and grabs her ankle. He says evilly that she will never get him out of the Vic. She grabs the doorstop and hits him again. Sam has just walked back in and sees this. Sam and Zoe come back to see her, and Zoe whines some more, saying she is sorry for killing him, and thought Den was going to kill Chrissie, and Chrissie reassuringly says yes, he would have done, and she lies that he was dead before he hit the ground (so Zoe continues to think she killed him). She tells them all they now have to get their stories straight.

Mon 21 Feb 2005

The three witches are behaving suspiciously in various ways. Chrissie is reasonably calm and arranges a cement mixer and an extra clean for the Vic. Sam is jumpy as she hides the murder weapon under her sink, and is almost caught by Minty. Zoe apparently has morning sickness again, I have no idea how many other men she's been shagging since Dennis left her, and the sight of Den dead can hardly have been worse than the sight of him naked, so I don't know what her problem is. Chrissie also tidies up Den's personal possessions (into the bin), and says he's away on a business trip. The cement mixer was to cover the floor of the cellar of the Vic. The entire logistics of this: three rather pathetic and whiny women dragging a heavy bloke and burying his body under the hard cellar floor, which must have been exceptionally difficult to dig up, are totally beyond my imagination.

The three all have Lady Macbeth moments later on, and are variously haunted by their deeds.

Alfie and Danny chat about covering up Danny's involvement in Andy's death. Jake is acting a bit suspiciously too, but of course poor old Nana notices nothing at all strange about the household! Johnny isn't impressed by Jake's nervousness, but Jake insists he is solid.

The police come round with the "news" about Andy, and Sam is stunned to be questioned. Obviously "I was busy abetting the murder of someone else" isn't going to be the best alibi ever. Her interview is rather fraught and Minty tries to help, telling the police she must be in shock. As soon as they have left, she calls Chrissie.

Obviously Mo spreads the gossip around and Pat is the only person upset (in a caring way), and she immediately goes over with her increasingly frequent Inspector Columbo impression to accuse Johnny of being involved. Danny is a bit hysterical that he might be next to fall off a flyover (I wish), and runs away again (probably for another night sleeping in a nearby rubbish bin - is he 12 years old?) but since he's always hysterical and flaky, no-one notices any difference in his random and irrational behaviour. Johnny becomes impressed by Jake's calm after his first slight wobble, and offers him a better job in his club, while making it clear that he still despises Danny's extreme unreliability.

The Ferreiras (why are they still here?) confirm with the cab deal with Johnny. Adi and Sasha have a tedious misunderstanding.

Pauline is being her usual disapproving miserable self, about Martin's drunken nudity, and also because she has some unpaid debts and mortgage arrears, and this time she has no neighbourhood Christmas saving club club to steal from - perhaps Derek has some community collections coming up though.

Zoe is a complete manic imbecile (even more than usual, which I really didn't think was possible) when she sees the police arrive, assuming that they are here to investigate her having murdered Den. She is sort of hallucinating about Den's body. The witches meet up to snipe at each other and whinge and call each other bitches (Sam to Chrissie) and have a girly slap (Chrissie on Sam), so this secret seems unlikely to stay secret for long if they hate each other this much.

Tue 22 Feb 2005

Johnny has his alibi sorted and briefs Jake too, obviously they will say they were at the club opening all night, and the short gap was practically unnoticed by anyone in the general melee. The police ask him and are clearly unimpressed and highly suspicious, but they can't prove anything yet.

Alfie tells Danny to be more independent and stop whining like a little girl (not quite in those words). So Danny, who appears to have completely lost his mind, steals a load of cash from Andy's safe. Jake catches him and tells him to put it back in case they are linked to Andy's murder. Jake declines Johnny's job offer, but Johnny presses him to change his mind. Jake arranges to get Danny a job on the club door. Danny promises not to screw it up again (but I certainly don't believe his flaky brain is capable of even this sort of monkey work).

Chrissie apologises to Sam, who claims she's innocent, and Chrissie reminds her she helped hide the body. Chrissie is a bit shocked when Den's mobile rings behind the bar, and she quickly tells Pat he must have forgotten to take it. (Are the police going to come second to Pat's incredible detective skills again?!) Pat's first thought is that Den is having an affair, of course, and Chrissie is offended by the suggestion.

Jane moves into Ian's and breaks one of Lucy's awful home-made toy things but Lucy doesn't mind, probably because it was junk anyway.

Zoe goes to wash her bloody clothes, and Chrissie tells her off for being obvious. Zoe whines and is pathetic again.

Pauline is disturbed by fat Sonia loudly shagging pasty Martin (I'm rather disturbed just by the thought of it, myself), and Sonia is annoyed when Pauline tells her about it.

The chav family father thinks about getting a job, but seeing as he hardly manages to get his lazy arse out of his chair at any point, or ever bother to shave, I don't rate his chances. He eventually pretends to go to the Job Centre, but skives off somewhere else.

Sam is pretty happy about Andy's death and collects some things from his house. Zoe and Chrissie argue again (yawn), and Zoe whines that she will go to prison.

Thu 24 Feb 2005

Zoe is cracking up and Chrissie is annoyed and reminds her to avoid suspicions by keeping to normal routines. To that end, Sam decides to come back to work at the Vic. She hassles Chrissie about her promise of handing over half of the Vic. Chrissie says it might look suspicious after Den's disappearance. Zoe arrives, acting hysterically, while they are arguing. Chrissie is sympathetic until Sam has gone then reminds her that she's a murderess and it's all on her head.

Sam thinks she'll inherit Andy's house at least, which Billy reminds her is only a small part of the Mitchell empire that she lost.

Johnny is not impressed when he hears Danny's evidence to the police about Andy's death, and afterwards, Jake confronts Danny about his apparently paranoid behaviour. Danny acts sulky and whines like a little girl again. He moans to Alfie and Jake walks in while they are behaving suspiciously. Jake quizzes Alfie after Danny has gone, and Alfie tells him the whole helping-Andy-stitch-up-Johnny story.

Fat Sonia is sulking about her awful mother-in-law, and eventually stupid pasty boy agrees they can go clubbing and blow lots of money, especially good timing now that they are in arrears with the mortgage, so hopefully they'll be thrown out on the streets in six months time.

The awful chav scum father steals the last 20 quid from the family finances to go out enjoying himself, drinking etc, while pretending to find a job. Evil harridan wife is furious, obviously not considering the possibility that she could get paid employment herself too, the stupid lazy slattern.

Sam gets Zoe drunk (probably thinking 'in vino veritas', but perhaps not actually in Latin, as they probably don't teach that in shabby comprehensives in East London nowadays, not that Sam attended school much, I imagine), and Zoe reveals her admiration for Chrissie and how much she protected her. Sam realises that Zoe still thinks she killed Den with the first blow, and tells her that Chrissie can't be trusted, but doesn't actually disabuse her of the notion that she alone is the murderess just yet, as that's probably her best blackmailing hold over Chrissie. [This whole scene is uncharacteristically clever of Sam, have they entirely forgotten her supposed character (marrying idiot Ricky at Gretna Green, etc?].

Fri 25 Feb 2005

Zoe decides to confess to being a murderess, but Sam tells her to reconsider. Zoe chats to Little Mo about penance after one tries to kill someone, since she knows all about that, and Mo's advice nearly makes suicide seem the better option. Little Mo mentions her conversation with Zoe when she gets to work, and both Chrissie and Sam (who happen to be arguing over the Vic, obviously) rush off to shut Zoe up. In fact, just in time - Chrissie wrestles the phone out of her hand.

Jayne is trying to win Lucy over by giving her some DVDs and playing at make-up. Stacey tells Lucy it's crap and does her own version of slut make-up instead, which obviously annoys Ian.

The tedious chav scum DSS plot is still dragging on - they owe 500 quid, due to their having lied to the DSS to steal more money, which they have to pay back now. Keith gets a job delivering flyers for Ian, but being a lazy lying thief, he gets kids to do the job for him (including Ian's own haha), presumably at lower rates. Ian finds out Pater actually played truant to do it, as well!

Pauline, Sonia and Martin argue about mortgage payments and not having spare cash. After Sonia leaves, Pauline is scarily obsessive about keeping control of pasty little Martin.

Danny and Jake argue, again, still it's about what a useless pathetic drip Danny is, and how Jake might be able to get a life if it weren't for him. Danny runs away like a little girl again.

Adi and Sasha argue about her partying, and she is obviously fed up with the lack of excitement now she's no longer a whore/pole-dancer, but she lies to Adi that it's fine.

Sam gives Chrissie an ultimatum - give her all of the Vic or she will reveal everything - including the fact that she saw Chrissie deal the fatal blow.

Mon 28 Feb 2005

Chrissie has another Lady Macbeth moment, snivelling about being a murderess, and Sam comes over (after chucking the half-naked Danny out of her bed, and yeuk, he's a revolting skinny runt) to badger her about her half of the pub by bringing the old Mitchell licensee sign and threatening her that she'll go to the police. She suggests Chrissie goes back to Spain, and a little later, Chrissie buys a flight ticket (for today). Then she offers it to Zoe, to "get over" the traumatic murder. Zoe moronically agrees, as she does to everyone and everything, obviously not having any brain cells of her own: doesn't she recall that's how she got into this mess?

The scum family argue about money again (ie the lazy slob father spending it all despite failing to do a stroke of work, ever. This time it's on the filthy flea-ridden mutt that he doesn't actually care about and hasn't even taken for a walk for the last 6 months). The greasy, dirty-looking, harridan mother asks Ian for work but he refuses point blank, probably worried about the family fleas contaminating his food establishments. She goes home and screeches viciously and cries at her vile husband, which is probably why they get thrown out of every house they live in for being a nuisance, it's hard to imagine a worse family.

Jake and Danny bitch at each other like children. Jake goes for a drink alone and Johnny checks up on him, obviously worried that he has told Danny something. Jake goes and whines at Danny, who runs off in a huff like a 7-year-old.

Evil Stacey goes to see Lucy and impose on Ian's hospitality. [What a repulsive 16-year-old she is, if her only friend in the world is a 13-year old child? Still, it serves her right for her evil scheming.] Ian is unhappy that Lucy is mixing with the Slater scum but Jayne says leave them alone.

Later Stacey avoids Lucy and says it's because Jayne is a bitch. Actually she wants to go clubbing instead, having imposed herself on Mickey instead. Mickey laughs at her being a child, and Martin tells Lucy the real reason. Lucy is suitably miffed and probably starts scheming Stacey's downfall, so a good result all round, perhaps Stacey will get the message and kill herself, and we will be rid of the scheming little slut. Pauline tells Sonia off for "letting" Martin go out with Mickey wasting money. Obviously she expects Sonia to sit on him or something to prevent him from moving without her say-so, except without the screaming for sex part, of course, as that would disturb Pauline's sleep. Sonia is pissed off at Pauline's moaning interference.

When Sam discovers Chrissie's sending Zoe to Spain, she rushes over to paint a different thought on the blank canvas that passes for Zoe's brain. Sam and Zoe go to tell Chrissie that Zoe's mind has now been changed, with Sam hinting that she'll reveal Chrissie's dark secret, etc etc. She sends Zoe off and has a little and not very convincing catfight with Chrissie, resulting in more blood on the floor (well, actually ketchup). She says Chrissie has 24 hours to give her the Vic.

Tue 1 Mar 2005

Boring episode: most characters get a little scene, getting on with their sad little lives, and the usual things happening.

Billy keeps on taking sick leave from the video shop, and the nice bloke who inexplicably gave him the job because he liked him has to keep covering.

Sam and Chrissie discuss their business arrangement, and Chrissie lies that she plans to go back to Spain (although she just told Rosie that she will never do so). Rosie immediately tells Sam that Chrissie was lying. Sam goes to plan B and checks out the murder weapon under the sink (does Minty never wash up then?). Then Sam makes a great show of meeting the police in the Vic (they are only telling her that Andy's body has been released for burial after an undecided coroner's verdict).

Dot gives Sonia a TV for the bedroom, to drown out their sex noises. YEUK.

Derek is mugged by someone claiming to have a knife, but I doubt it, and it is no-one remotely scary, probably just drippy Danny or evil Stacey. Martin arrives just in time to scare the mugger off. Pauline is unimpressed by Derek's cowardice and thinks it's because he's gay. Derek whimpers and sobs.

Jake takes Danny to Andy's flyover, and tells him that he saw it all. Danny realises that he could have died at the same time and cries like a little girl, so Jake hugs him in an unpleasantly incestuous-gay way. Double YEUK.

Chrissie's riposte is pretty good - she announces that Den has left her, and closes up the Vic and dumps his old clothes in the street. She also announces that Den got his mistress pregnant, and Zoe overhears, so later she confronts Chrissie, saying she knows Chrissie hates her for that. Chrissie also announces to everyone that Sam is her special friend during this difficult time, and Sam is a bit taken aback. When Chrissie shuts the Vic, Sam waits in the shadows, obviously having taken lessons from her brothers, and there is another catfight. Chrissie says she won't hand over the Vic, and sacks Sam.

Thu 3 Mar 2005

Sam and Chrissie snipe at each other in the Vic, about their respective dead husbands. Sam doesn't care about being sacked as Andy's will is due to be read. She is surprised to find Pat there, and offers her a job cleaning Andy's house afterwards. Pat is insulted. However, Sam's smug grin disappears when she's told that Andy left the bookies' to Dennis. Then they discover he left the house to Pat. He leaves the rest to a dog's home, except his wedding ring, which he leaves to Sam to get her roots done. [Ahh, how sad, still at least Andy knew who his true friends were.]

Chav scum Keith is forced to go to the Job Centre but he lies, dissembles, and refuses every job he is offered and can't even fill in a form, as he's totally illiterate (literally). He whines to his wife that he prefers being told he is lazy to being stupid [but luckily he is both, what's he whining about? People this useless to society are damned lucky they are living in a welfare state and I have to pay thousands of pounds of tax a year to provide food, beer and fags for the lazy fat slobs and their pregnant teenage sluts.]

Jake smoothly hits on Chrissie (that didn't take long!). She says it's too soon, and he nicely says he'll wait. She is maliciously pleased when she hears about Sam's result at the solicitor's.

Pat feels guilty about Sam getting nothing, but Johnny buys her a drink and says she deserved it. The Vic regulars discuss whether it was suicide or not and their general concensus can be summed up as "probably not, but who cares, he deserved to die." Sam goes bonkers and rushes in and takes all the money out of "her" till. Chrissie smugly takes Sam to the cellar and gloats. Sam replies that she holds all the cards and can take Chrissie down.

Foolish Yolande lets Stacey take the Minute Mart takings to the bank, despite the fact that a few weeks ago Stacey was shoplifting from this very shop on a daily basis, and Yolande knows this!!!!!! She arrives back saying she was mugged (clearly a lie, and she's obviously stolen the cash).

Fri 4 Mar 2005

Stupid Yolande gives Stacey money after she was "mugged" and Stacey mopes around pretending she's upset, and Zoe tells Charlie not to bother the police with it. However, Johnny comes round asking about it and the police follow shortly after. Stacey is vague about the description, looking guiltier by the minute.

Sam is cheerful and tells Minty she's taking control of her new life.

The Ferreiras (well Tariq) are somehow conning Johnny with his cars. They seem to think there is some way that he will know precisely how many trips they make, and notice Tariq's aren't on the list, or whatever.

The skint scum family beg for rotten fruit from Martin's stall and scraps from the dustbin at the cafe.

Sam refuses to pay for a funeral and Pat can't afford it, having only the house and no cash, no job, etc. She asks Chrissie for Den's number, hoping to contact Dennis, and Chrissie is a hopeless liar, waffling confusedly about not having it instead of saying that she never wants to see him again, etc, as she would if her other story about an affair were true. Sam watches the performance, and gives a bit of assistance in the excuse, and also gives Pat Den's number.

Sam and Chrissie go upstairs to argue the same points all over again, but no slapping or ketchup this time.

Billy has an unexplained strop and tells the video shop owner that he quits. He's told to vacate the flat, obviously, but idiot Billy had forgotten that the flat he lives in attached to the shop actually came with the job ....how could he not notice this?

Mon 7 Mar 2005

Pat arranges Andy's funeral, but no-one is interested, which she could have guessed after the coroner's verdict elicited such a lack of interest in the Vic.

Chrissie has recovered from Pat's surprise attack and texts her back from Den's phone, saying he has no idea where Dennis is. Then Chrissie pretends to receive a call from Den in the Vic and makes a big show of shouting at him that she will never take him back. Some other bloke arrives asking her for money that Den owed him, not sure whether this is a sneaky trick by the new-improved-non-bimbo Sam, or if she is too stupid to think of this, as she always used to be.

Zoe's little brain has finally filled up with the last two days on the stall and erased all memory of any events prior to last week, so she no longer cares about death or murder, etc.

Jake is spending a lot of time in the Vic, hopefully drooling over the now obviously very single Chrissie. Johnny has bought the Ferreira's house and one for himself, apparently, so that's more house sales in the last 6 months than we've had in the last 10 years in the square. He visits and proclaims it's a tip and needs clearing up (too true). Kareena has become a druggie [some time in the last few episodes, not sure quite when, this is the ninth episode that was on during my hols, and they are are all blurring into one at this point].

Billy sulks in his (for now, but not much longer) flat. Everyone is worried when they see the video shop ad for new staff.

Adi and Sasha argue again about her ex-lap-dancer's friendliness towards all men in general. She calls him boring, with justification, actually.

Sam, understandably since she spends all her time with whiny Zoe, is fed up with whiny Danny, and claims she is busy (despite having just lost her job, so she has absolutely nothing to do with her entire life).

In the Vic, some ugly slimeball tries to chat up Sasha, and Danny tries to defend her in his girly pathetic way, so entirely uselessly, then the bloke makes Adi the butt of his Al Quaeda joke, and there is a scuffle. For no apparent reason, it's Billy who actually picks a fight with the interloper and thus he gets himself barred from the Vic, ironically for being the only person man enough to connect with slimeball. However, it's Danny who gets the girl, as they go back to the cab office and Sasha is back in her old job of lap-dancer/whore, for a casual shag for the first time since she hooked Adi.

Billy chats to Alfie about it would kill him to see Little Mo with another bloke, and Alfie looks guilty and shifty. Shame Graham didn't take a leaf out of Andy's book and make a video of his quick shag with Mo, and we could have got rid of maudlin Billy right now.

Sam stalks Chrissie again after closing and demands 1,000 pounds a week to keep quiet. Chrissie says she can't possibly afford that much.

Tue 8 Mar 2005 X

Thu 10 Mar 2005 X

Mon 14 Mar 2005

Pat sees Billy in a suit off to his new job. He says it's for Johnny Allen, and he says she knows him from way back, he's OK isn't he? Pat looks doubtful. She moves into Andy's house and the first thing she finds is his wedding photo album. She dumps piles of bin bags outside for the dustmen. Sam walks into the house and says this is her house - she was supposed to bring her kids up here. She adds bitterly, don't let the fact that it should be hers spoil it for Pat. She goes to Chrissie and asks for 200 quid in cash, since the cheque hasn't cleared yet.

Billy is a bit late for work, and Johnny tells him not to do it again, keep everything above board, and take care. His first task is to collect a package from an address Johnny gives him. He arrives back and Danny tries to stop him going into the office. He walks past, saying that he works here, and he gives the package to Johnny, looking very nervous as he opens it. It's a jar, which Johnny opens immediately, and scoops up a fingerful of caviar. Billy looks surprised and Johnny tells him smugly it's not the job that matters, but the spirit in whch you do it.

Johnny tells Danny to watch out for the mugger. He goes into the Vic and Pauline tells Dot that he promised to make the area safer, but isn't doing anything. Johnny offers to install a burglar alarm for Dot. Pauline snipes at Pat next, and loudly says she feels sorry for Sam, left with nothing. Johnny sits down with Pat and she tells him she doesn't feel right, she shouldn't have Andy's house, anyway her lease os for three more months, and she hates wasting money. Johnny asks Pat if the roles were reversed, would Sam refuse a house for her? He says Pat has had a hard life, it may be her last chance, and not to let it slip through her fingers. he also says he may be able to do something about her old flat.

Stacey arrives for work and Yolande is very kind to her. Dot comes in and says Mickey was also mugged, and Stacey says she could go round and see Mickey. She tries to chat him up with the line about having been through it herself. She also spends 20 quid at the stall and Lucy watches and puts two and two together about Stacey. She follows her into the cafe, and lists all her new expensive items, and says she made it up didn't she? Stacey threatens her and adds that she will say Lucy was in on it. Lucy isn't intimidated and says she will tell her Dad first, and he will believe her. Stacey gives her the expensive earrings she has just bought to keep her quiet and runs out of the cafe quickly, forgetting her purse. Ian rushes after her to give it back, and Danny mistakes him for the mugger and attacks him, rather feebly, however this is Ian, not a real mugger, and Ian sustains a black eye!

Stacey goes round to see Mickey and chat him up on the pretence of sympathizing about the mugging. She tells him how upset she is, and makes a big deal of being scared with him. Mickey is reluctant but she's forceful.

Johnny visits Pat at Andy's house. They says things haven't turned out how they imagined in either of their lives, and Johnny says he's here to make a new start, and she can too. Pat is looking at the wedding album, and turns over from a standard couple pose to a close up of Andy alone, laughing happily. Johnny looks a bit uncomfortable, and soon leaves, and Pat looks back at the photo and says "thank you". Johnny gets a phone call and tells the person that he thinks he has found a flat for them nearby, nice and quiet (presumably Pat's flat now he's persuaded her to stay in Andy's).

Tue 15 Mar 2005

A removal van arrives in the square to bring Johnny's [kept woman's] stuff in.

Dot sets off her burglar alarm motion detectors by making a cup of tea at night. Jim tells Pauline Dot can't cover her shift due to being afraid of leaving the house with a burglar about. Pauline goes to harrass Johnny about the alarms going off. He apologises politely and graciously for the inconvenience. She says "don't try your charm on me!" She says they've just got rid of Den and Andy, they don't want another like them. Johnny says good-naturedly that he is nothing like either of them, and he will do his best to be a good neighbour. Pauline nosily looks at a photo frame that's in his hand, and says she is pretty. Johnny says (enigmatically) yes, she is.

Danny has been told to help Pat move her things to Andy's house, which he does very unhelpfully. Billy is also helping and Jake tells them that if they get any problems they don't want to take to Johnny, to tell him instead. Danny skives off, saying he has a bad back. Billy helps unpack Pat's smaller things and he carefully arranges her videos alphabetically [oh, how I misjudged him, Billy actually does have one redeeming feature!]. Pat asks him if Johnny is treating him all right, and to be careful. Billy says he's only doing odd jobs, fetching and carrying, but what is it that he needs to be careful about regarding what Johnny does? Pat says she isn't really sure.

Johnny tells Billy he has proved himself doing the donkey work, and now he wants him to be the eyes and ears, and he believes that the Ferrierias are abusing his cars, which he supplied them to use for his personal clients, but he thnks they are using them for other jobs. Billy goes to see Sasha, and admires the new cars. Sasha says they're Johnny's and so is this one - Tariq driving back. She goes over to see Tariq, who gets out and says "150 quid, cash, Johnny doesn't know what he's missing out on." They gloat together.

Jake comes over to apologise to Chrissie about the bouncers, and she tells him he has egg on his face - no literally, and wipes it off, and they flirt a little. Chrissie moves crates, and breaks a nail. She is sulking because it's her 37th birthday soon, but asks Mo not to tell anyone. Sam walks in with lots of shopping bags, saying her cheque has cleared this morning. Jake asks Mo what's up with Chrissie's mood. Mo completely gives away the game about her birthday. Chrissie interrupts her and tells Jake to go ahead and make all the ageist jokes. Jake doesn't say anything, (he's really turned out to be quite a nice, quiet, bloke, unlike every other person in his moronic family) but he decides to arrange something for Chrissie.

Ian has a huge black eye (after the altercation with Danny). Stacey taunts him about it. Lucy comes in and offers Stacey the earrings back. Stacey says she can't give them back now, she is involved. Johnny arrives in the cafe and offers Ian a token of his sincere apologies. He makes Danny apologise saying that in fact Danny is so sorry he will pay for this expensive bottle of red wine out of his wages - isn't that right? Ian smiles and says thanks. Jayne looks at the bottle and says it's really expensive!

Kareena sulks because Mickey won't forgive her taking cocaine and lying abut it (how pathetic can she get, not only reduced to the levels of dating a sad bloke like Mickey, but then she's dumped by him and she actually cares!)

Billy wanders off to the Vic and sees Jake, and tells him about the cars. He asks what to do. Jake says keep it between themselves for now. Chrissie sees Billy and orders him out, and says when a bloke works for Johnny Allen, he thinks he can do anything. Tariq realises that they have completely given teh game away this morning, he panics and goes round to confess all to Johnny, who doesn't take the news well. Later, he asks Billy about the surveillance job, and Billy says 'nothing yet'. Johnny tells Billy to come round with him to the Ferrierias. Johnny says he wants every fare they have done in his cars, to the last penny, every mile driven, every gallon of petrol, and Billy will work out what they owe him. They can pay it in instalments.

Johnny asks Billy why he didn't tell him. Billy says he would have, but he wasn't sure what Johnny would do to the guys. Johnny says don't believe all the stories about him, and he needs complete trust from his employees.

Jayne finds the earrings and practically accuses Lucy of stealing them. Lucy has to admit that she got them from Stacey, and makes Jayne promise not to tell Ian, but that Stacey wasn't mugged, she stole the Minute Mart cash. Ian asks Jayne if she talked to Lucy, and Jayne is evasive, and he says OK, it was little girly secrets, fine, thanks.

Johnny arrives in the Vic and announces to everyone that he is buying everyone a drink now he has moved in. Jake asks Johnny for a favour - a surprise party for Chrissie. Johnny says with some surprise, is that all, and that's good because he wanted to asks Jake a favour too. Johnny tells Jake that he doesn't like what he must have said to Billy, and he would like to put all the other (Andy) business behind him - now he has moved here.

Sam bitchily spoils the surprise party, and Chrissie asks Jake about it, and says a sincere thank you. Sam makes a comment to Zoe, who says she is fed up with Sam's bitching about Chrissie.

Johnny takes his lover to Pat's old flat and says this is hers, just for the two of them, and the old rules still apply, total discretion. She asks, with some impatience, if he is going to hide her away for ever.

Thu 17 Mar 2005

Johnny leaves his mistress in bed, and she asks what she's supposed to do for breakfast. She wanders around the square and distracts Garry in the Arches, who runs over Minty's foot. She goes into the cafe and Danny sits down next to her trying to chat her up, and she says "there's a free table over there".

Charlie brings Stacey in and Ian is brusque until Charlie reminds him that Stacey is still upset after the mugging. Ian says shamefacedly oh right, and Stacey says she wants extra sugar in her tea, and a cake for free. Ian sighs but gives her the free food (why?!)

Adi asks Tariq about his scam on Johnny and Tariq looks nervously at Sasha who looks guilty and then Tariq says he was alone in it.

Johnny reminds Billy to calculate what the Ferreiras owe him for the cars. Danny tells Billy that he's above Billy in the pecking order at Johnny's club. Billy laughs at the idea, and just to confirm it, Jake arrives and tells Danny not to get ahead of himself.

Johnny arrives back looking for Tina, but she's already gone. In the Vic, she jokes with Mo who loves her facile jokes and Chrissie and Sam bitch about how she's not only gorgeous but witty as well (standards of both are clearly very low in Walford!). Mo finds out that she lives in Pat's old flat, and Tina says it has the whiff of a brothel. Pat is nearby and is offended, and Mo quickly introduces them. She also "introduces" Tina to Johnny and they smile and pretend they have never met.

Jake makes a big effort sorting out Chrissie's party, and he comes to fetch her, saying people have started arriving at the club, and she says she'll be there soon, and asks Jake to do up the zip at the back of her dress. He slowly leaves, then says he could walk her over there, it doesn't seem right the birthday girl turning up alone. Chrissie smiles and they make a very good couple.

Tina arrives at the club and Johnny is at the door and says "we meet again". She smiles at him. Danny is actually the bouncer and he repeats the same line. She frowns and says "what?", having completely forgotten him. Danny reminds her that he was in the cafe earlier. She looks disdainfully at him and says (as a polite apology now that she has made it clear he has no chance) she has a terrible memory. Johnny look a bit irritated, and tells Danny pointedly to be careful not to screw up tonight.

Inside, Chrissie is surprised and pleased how many people there are for her party. Jake jokes he had to bribe them to come.

The chav scum mother goes to the shop and shoplifts a few things, pretends she forgot her purse and leaves the items she was going to buy, then goes back again to but the cough medicine, and shoplift a few more things. She is clearly so stupid that she doesn't reaise there are CCTV cameras, and Stacey isn't paying attention because she is getting herself ready for the party. Then she goes to Mickey's to force him to take her to Chrissie's party. He is easily railroaded into taking her, even though he pathetically objects that she is too young. She says she knows Johnny and he will let her in.

At the club, Danny chats up Sasha, who blanks him. Then he tries it on with Sam, who is equally annoyed with him. He tries to flatter her for ages, then Johnny tells him, with some annoyance in his voice, that he's supposed to be working, so start working.

Garry goes off to chat up Tina, who says she likes opera, and Garry says could he swap West Ham for opera. She replies, "nice try but..." and walks off to talk to Johnny about how bored she is.

Lucy is frightened when Stacey keeps threatening her, and Ian notices her miserable behaviour, and asks Jayne what is wrong with her. Jayne tells him, saying it was in confidence, so not to go mad. Of course, when Ian hears that Stacey lied about the mugging, he is furious and takes Lucy round to Charlie's to tell him about Stacey. They go outside and find Stacey and Mickey on the way to the club. Ian says he wants a word with Stacey, who has been bullying Lucy, and stole the money from Yolande and Patrick. Mickey walks off in disgust, and Charlie makes her admit it. She says she was "having a laugh". Inexplicably, Charlie forgives her.

Tariq tells Johnny that it was his fault about the cars, and not Adi and Sasha. Sasha looks guilty, and tells Johnny it was her as well. Adi is furious and they argue again, about Adi wanting to by a house and Sasha wanting "fun" (obviously being a cab controller and buying a flat is too dull compared to her previous pole-dancing and whoring lifestyle).

Minty is boring Sam to death. Jake tells Chrissie that Johnny was a boxer once (there are photos in the office) and he offers to show her the club office, and they look at each other flirtatiously.

Sam goes outside and finds Danny for a snog. In the office Jake and Chrissie see them snogging and Jake says "by the way Happy Birthday", and they kiss.

Minty is pissed off that he had stand up Garry to go to the party with Sam, who then disappeared (with Danny) for most of the evening. He tells her that he's fed up and is going to share with Garry, so she's on her own now.

Kareena is tearful about seeing Stacey kissing Mickey and Jules moves in to take advantage of her and he kisses her, just as Mickey arrives, and a fight starts, which Johnny stops very quickly and takes Jules into the office, telling Danny to come too, where was he?

He raises an eyebrow to find Jake and Chrissie there, and she is quick to leave. Johnny makes Jules turn out his pockets, and finds drugs, so tells Jules to leave and that if he comes to the club again, it's his funeral. (Not sure if Jules realised that was literal, but Jake certainly did).

Johnny asks Danny where he was when all this happened. Danny makes up a pathetic excuse that he was outside because Sam was mugged, and after a short pause where Johnny makes it clear that he doesn't believe him, Jake makes up his mind where his loyalties lie, and says he saw Danny on the CCTV, snogging her. Johnny tells Danny goodbye. Danny is dismayed and says he will change tomorrow, honest....

Fri 18 Mar 2005

Chrissie gets post - a very pretty necklace, with a typed card, from Den. Little Mo is surprised that Chrissie isn't pleased about it. Jake arrives and helps her put it on, and she snaps at him. He is surprisingly submissive, and leaves sulkily.

Sam is amazed when Minty makes it clear he meant what he said last night, about finding a new flat, and she whines "what about me?" Minty sighs "me, me, me"

Danny goes to ask Johnny for another chance. Johnny replies "there's the door". [Not that he recognised it when he was supposed to be working it!] Danny sees Sam and asks to borrow some cash, and she is astounded at his appalling cheek. Then he goes to the cafe and asks Johnny again for yet another second chance, with a long and tedious sob story about how Johnny must have made mistakes in life too. Jake is amazed to find him back on the door that night.

Tina tells Johnny the flat needs work, and hands him a brochure from an expensive furniture store with what she wants marked in there. She says when it's all delivered, she will consider moving in.

Charlie goes to the shop and forces Stacey to tell Yolande and Patrick. Patrick's first reply is "this is a joke right?" Yolande is furious and says she trusted and believed in Stacey. She leaves and Patrick tells Stacey she will be working off the debt, starting now. Yolande comes back and says to Patrick, she knows, he told her so, he was right all along. Patrick says no, he wasn't going to say that, and what he loves about her is that she wants to believe the best in everyone.

Pauline asks Ian what the atmosphere is with Lucy, and Ian tells her the story. Pauline is on Jayne's side.

Billy goes to the cabs and asks Adi for the money they owe Johnny. Billy adds "Mr Allen says he wants cash, for some reason he doesn't trust you". Sasha dumps Adi, perhaps because he has the most amazingly revolting hairstyle that I have ever seen [even including demented poodle woman Lorraine]. Sasha leaves and bumps into Billy and invites him for a drink, which we see later turns into casual sex - she was just bored, and she must be used to sex with pathetic, ugly customers from when she was a whore. Billy realises he made a mistake, and tells her so. She doesn't care - anyway, I'm sure she was never looking for an encore.

A young teenage girl in proper school uniform (ie a blazer with badge, not a sweatshirt like the local trashy school "uniform") asks Stacey where Turpin Road is, and she snaps at her, then relents and shows her. The girl is upset when she sees the name Scarlet (any betting her or her mother's name is Scarlet?), and almost walks under Tina's cab. Tina gets out and asks the stranger what she's doing, she could have got herself killed, then relents and asks where she lives and tries to take the girl home, but she says she doesn't live around here.

Zoe rather coldly tells Kareena to get over Mickey and find someone else. In the club, Sonia chaparones Kareena, who gets drunk. She told Martin to bring Mickey to try to get them back together. Mickey is also totally drunk, and neither of them can actually speak when they finally meet. Kareena looks across the table and then sags drunkenly to one side and vomits onto the floor (they are a perfect match). Johnny tells Mickey to look after her.

Sam collects this week's cheque from Chrissie and is surprised that it's so easy this week. [Chrissie is obviously upset about the note.]

Chrissie apologises to Jake, saying that she's sorry for snapping at him, but she can't talk about it to anyone. Then she asks Sam for a word, and shows her the card, saying Den obviously ordered it before..... Chrissie is upset and says she wants it all to stop, they have to stop fighting. She adds the Vic can't afford a grand a week - Sam must know, she used to run it. Chrissie begs Sam to talk about it sensibly. She asks Sam to come and help run the Vic, they can either let this destroy the business, or move on, together.

Tina tells Johnny about the girl, and Johnny says dismissively she was probably on drugs. The girl tries to go into the club, but as it's open, and she's about 14, Danny doesn't let her in. She tries to make a phone call, about 20 yards from the door, in a doorway as both Johnny and Tina walk by, separately, leaving the club, but then she is mugged and her phone is stolen. Danny actually notices! He lets the mugger get away, but he goes over to her and looks after her very kindly. She asks what his boss at the club is like. He says he's pretty tough on him, and she says she will talk to him for Danny and reveals she's Johnny's daughter.

Meanwhile, Johnny shows Tina his surprise, which is a new bed in the flat. She isn't impressed - her shopping list was obviously huge and one item isn't going to make any difference! [I'm sure she'll be even less impressed when she discovers the daughter].

Mon 21 Mar 2005

Johnny tells his woman that he's in a good mood, and to go and buy herself some new clothes and he will take her somewhere nice for lunch.

Mickey is sulking about Kareena. His family taunt him that simply the sight of him literally made her vomit.

Sasha thanks Billy for letting her stay and says it was nothing personal (the sex). Billy agrees and says bye, see you, and Sasha says she doesn't think so. Adi sees her and goes to the cafe to shout at her in front of Kareena. Kareena says judgementally that Sasha just hopped into bed with the first bloke she saw, and she should get out of the Ferreira home now that she and Adi have split up.

Sonia is acting suspiciously, after reading that her child's adopted parents have been killed in a car crash, so Martin picks up the phone and redials to see who she was calling. He discovers she was calling the paper. She says Chloe is only 4 years old and the funeral is today. They argue. Martin says it is like a drug, the more Sonia sees Chloe, the more she wants to.

Even Jim notices she is acting suspiciously, and asks Martin. He says nothing, and Jim says so that is something then, and Martin asks him to look after Sonia for a bit.

Jake is horrified to find the little girl at their house and tells Danny it was stupid to walk off from work. Danny smugly says Johnny will thanks him - it's his daughter, Ruby. However, she says she's changed her mind about seeing Johnny and wants to slink off home without saying anything. Danny goes to work and Johnny is scathing and says if he just met Danny he'd think "blame the parents" and that Danny's father was probably someone weak bloke who let his kids run riot. Danny retorts that Johnny can't talk about being a father, and tells Johnny that Ruby is at his house.

Johnny asks Ruby why she is here, and she says school finished early and she thought she'd just turn up at home. Johnny looks guilty, as he has left the house, and it was obviously a shock for the kid to go home and find her father had moved out! The neighbours told her where he was. She says she tried to phone him, but there was no answer, and Danny looked after her, and it had been such a weird day she just agreed. Tina calls and Johnny makes his excuses and leaves. Johnny tells Danny to look after her, and Danny says sharply he thought he wasn't working for him any more. Johnny says he is apologising, Danny was right, he can have his job back, so don't act smart.

Danny takes her to Johnny's and she sees a photo, which she says is of her sister (OK, that must be Scarlet). Danny says so there is another of you about, and she says no (OK, dead Scarlet). She runs out and goes to the club, where Billy sends her away to come back in 3 or 4 years. Jake is worried when Danny tells him he has lost the girl!

Tariq is out on a job and picks up Tina on his way back from a proper job, and she reluctant to get in a dodgy cab at first, then he says he is properly licensed, and does Johnny Allen's work, and she smiles and gets in.

Mickey accuses Jules of taking advantage of Kareena, and they scrap in the square. Gus and Rosie chat with Mickey, and when he goes to get a sandwich, she tells Gus that she thinks they like each other really, someone should bang their heads together. They fake a text message from Mickey asking Kareena to come and see him.

Ash (who still exists, surprisingly) rushes home and asks where the cabs are - all of Johnny's cars seem to be missing. Ronny laughs, and says anyone who steals Johnny Allen's cars must have a death wish. Everone else looks at him pointedly, and he says oh... but we didn't steal them..... They point out that they were suppsoed to be looking after them. Ash goes to tell Johnny, who is annoyed as he's juggling Tina and Ruby and says 'not now'. Ash keeps on and says "Mr Allen, we've lost your cars". This does make Johnny stop. He thinks it's a con or wind up. Ash says they will sort out the insurance claim, and police, etc, and Johnny is furious and says he is not an office boy, imagine him filling out forms - now that would give everyone a laugh, and he will certainly not be renewing his acquaintance with the police, so this is how it works - they have his cars, they either give him the cars back, or the value of them (30K), by 6pm tonight.

Tue 22 Mar 2005

Johnny asks Danny what he's doing in the cafe, and where is Ruby? Danny makes an excuse that he is getting her a bacon sandwich. Johnny says she was a vegetarian, but he knew that wouldn't last long.

Sonia tells Jim the story she read that the people she thinks are Chloe's parents. Jim says she can't be sure that these are the same couple. Sonia whines on that she has to go to see the kid is being looked after, and asks Jim to come with her.

The Ferreiras discuss their problem and Ash points out that they are not going to find 30 grand, so someone has to tell Johnny. Ronny quickly chickens out, as does Kareena, and then Sasha arrives and Adi wants to talk to her. Ash is left to go alone. Adi and Sasha argue and she says she just jumped into bed with anyone, and she says she loves Adi because he is kind and sweet, but she isn't in love any more, and she apologises.

Kareena visits Mickey and accuses him of dumping her, and he says he didn't - he thought she dumped him. They kiss and make up. Meanwhile, Jules whines about his split lip, saying it has ruined his looks (haha - as if anything could make that ugly haggard old face worse!)

Johnny tells Jake to look for his cars, and then the police arrive to talk to him about his daughter. Ash arrives to tell him they have no chance of getting either the money or the cars back. Johnny,already very annoyed by the police, says don't mess me around, and he'll take their business in lieu of payment. Ash says that's their living, and Johnny says that's fine because you won't be living around here either: he doesn't want to see them and isn't moving, so they are.

Jim and Sonia ask Ronny to take them to the funeral, and he is reluctant because of Ash. Ronny says he can't wait for them. Sonia sees the kid outside the church. Ronny gets back home and Ash tells him the story - Johnny is taking the business. He says they are also being thrown out of the house, and if they don't leave Walford, they may just disappear completely. Mickey tells Kareena she can stay with him, and he wants her to stay now they are back together. She looks doubtful but asks her family, who are sad and Ash promises to let her know where they are as soon as they are settled. As they drive off, Kareena changes her mind and goes with them (packing, possssions? Where were her clothes? Were tehy already packed and she would have been without them, or are they at home and she has run off without them? Not to mention that a family of five, plus their entire worldly goods appear to fit into a medium-sized family car, albeit with the boot too full to close and tied with rope.)

At the church, Sonia goes to talk to the woman looking after the child, who gives her the address of the tea afterwards at the adopted grandparents. They go home and Sonia mentions to Jim that she was invited back for tea but she isn't going, which sounds too much like over-compensation and that she is only pretending she isn't obsessed with the kid.

Johnny goes to see Ruby and he has a go at her for running away and not telling him why. He says the school called and the police have been round. He adds there's also the little matter of her assault of a the fellow pupil. He has obviously forgotten he was supposed to be having lunch with Tina, who is waiting at the restaurant. He takes a call and goes into another room.

Jake asks Ruby if she is OK, and says she should tell her father that she was mugged. She says she doesn't want to bother him.

When Johnny comes back, he tells her that she will be on probation when she goes back to school. She says he hasn't asked her if she wants to. Tina arrives to have a go at Johnny, who says Ruby is here, so he can't do anything now. He goes back to find Ruby packing, and she whines that he never tells her anything, she arrived home to find he had sold the house, and she just stood outside looking at it. She didn't know what was happening, and then she explains (for us viewers) that he never tells her anything: it's since her mother and Scarlet died in that fire. Johnny gets angry, sends her to her room and looks tearfully at a family picture.

Thu 24 Mar 2005

Sonia is miserable all day and Martin lies to Pauline that it's about her work then has a snipe at Sonia about going to the funeral. She goes round to see Jim and says she worries about whether the kid is being looked after properly. Jim says he has lied to Dot and she has lied to Martin, so she should try to get on with her life, and let them do the same. Sonia says thanks but ignores him and immediately gets out the address she conned the funeral woman into giving her.

Johnny gets an early morning call from Tina whining about the grotty flat and that her electricity is off. Johnny tells Ruby that she'll be back at school after she has apologised to the parents and the girl she hit.

The scum family get a red bill that they can't pay, and Mickey says he will take care of it.

Jules meets a mate who sells him some obviously stolen jewellery. Mickey is caught by the woman from whom it was stolen and he gives it back with some grovelling apologies. He tells Jules to take this box to the police and tell them exactly where he got it. Gus backs him up agaisnt Jules.

Johnny goes round to show Tina how to reset the trip switch. She says she's not hanging around waiting for him to have a spare moment, and he won't let her meet Ruby so she's going home. Johnny persuades her to stay for today, promising her that he'll take her out to buy something for the flat. He tells Danny to look after Ruby for a few hours, and Danny seems very reluctant.

Pat asks him if there is post at the flat and he denies knowledge, although admitting he bought it. He says the tenant probably threw it out. Pat says she looked the type - right snotty mare. Johnny raises an eyebbrow.

Stacey goes into the cafe and Ian gives her a good telling off about her scam. She says she doesn't want anything, she only wants to use the toilet. Ian says she isn't coming in here without apologising. Johnny overhears, and then smiles as Stacey replies that she did something, and got caught, but she's not grovelling to him, she'd rather wet herself. Johnny follows her out and asks her if she wants to earn some money for a few hours work. He says she reminds him of someone (obviously a rude, dishonest, thieving onoxious brat, proably his dead daughter).

Ian apologises to Lucy about making a show of her, but says she did the right thing telling people about the bullying, and Jayne did the right thing in telling him, and it was brave of Lucy to tell someone.

He tells Stacey to show Ruby round, but don't get into trouble. He tells Ruby that Stacey came round to see her, so ahve a nice day. Ruby is upset that he is leaving her with strangers, and Johnny says he has to work. She whines that he doesn't want her round. He rather unkindly says he has to go, and leaves her. Stacey chats, and says she left school the day she was 16. Ruby asks if she is sure, and tells Stacey all about her boarding school, and trips to Paris and skiing, etc. She says that she wants to leave and go to ordinary school. Ruby sees Stacey look at her watch and says her dad is paying her isn't he? Stacey says no at first, but Ruby isn't fooled. Ruby is upset that her father always pays people to look after her because he can't be bothered to do it himself.

Stacey tells Ruby about all the local people including most of the women, each one of whom she describes as "up herself". She says Mickey is gorgeous, but his dosser family with non-existent bad backs who ponce all their dole money, but not any more - she dobbed them right in. They go to Johnny's home and chat, and Stacey tells Ruby she has to make her dad's life a misery until he caves in about school. Ruby says she doesn't want to, and Stacey says she is too nice for her own good, it always works for her! She asks Ruby if she can look at her CDs, and accidentally finds some tablets in Ruby's bag. Ruby quickly says she isn't mad or anything, she just gets depressed.

Johnny arrives home and Stacey leaves, but she refuses the cash Johnny offers as payment for the few hours baby-sitting, so she presuambly considers herself Ruby's friend, not a paid minder.

Pat goes to her old flat to check on post, and Tina hands her some. Pat says she's surprise to see her still there, after what she said about it. Tina apologises, saying she didn't mean to offend Pat, she just put her foot in it. Pat smiles and says see you round.

Johnny is distracted on his date, and Tina is annoyed that he is thinking about his daughter. He finally admits that Ruby is in trouble at school. Tina asks him to introduce her and he says no, and stops the cab to get out a few hundred yards away from her flat. Tina says she could help, and Johnny refuses and she shouts at him, and Pat sees Johnny get out, but I'm not sure if she can see Tina is in the cab, doing the shouting.

Martin talks to Sonia about her moodiness and sugggests they check out the news story about the adoptive parents, to check if it was Rebecca's, through the proper channels. Sonia says it was, and admits she went to the funeral, and Martin goes mad and shouts a lot. Sonia screeches that they have a daughter who looks like him, that he is just ignoring. Martin says Sonia is going mad, and he doesn't ever want to talk about this again.

Fri 25 Mar 2005

Ruby tries to persuade Johnny not to send her back to school. Stacey visits and tries to support Ruby in her school rebellion, and when she has gone, Johnny tells Ruby she can see Stacey in the holidays. He sees Charlie in the square, and tells him Ruby can't leave school until the summer, even though she was 16 a while ago, it's the law. Charlie is surprised that Stacey lied to him. Old Mo is furious and says Stacey has taken them for mugs, and Charlie is too soft on her.

Pat gets a call for Andy, and tells them he died and Sam isn't there, she is alone here. She sounds a bit miserable to be alone in the house.

Billy sees Minty and Garry and tells them his new home is a bit dodgy. He sits in the launderette without a shirt, while his washing is being done! Pat says he can come to her house and have a shower, and she'll iron his shirt. Tina walks in and says jokingly (about men) "you're supposed to get them home before you unwrap them!" Billy tells Pat that now he has a job, he will find a new place to live. Pat irons his trousers and Billy says nervously that she won't mention this to anyone will she? Pat smiles that she thinks she can keep it quiet that she had Billy in her house without his trousers on!

Rosie visits the Minute Mart but hasn't enough cash - again! Stacey tells her to put something back, but Patrick says it's OK.

Sonia isn't talking to Martin, as if this matters to anyone. Jim happens to mention it, and Martin sulks that she told Jim but didn't tell him. Jim engineers a meeting between Martin and Sonia. She says she has nothing to say. Martin and Sonia argue about Chloe/Rebecca. Martin says the decision has already been made, she has her family, they can't have her back. Sonia whines that she has to see her one last time (that's what she said last time).

Billy is late, and his first job is to show Garry and Minty round flat number 3. He says yes boss, and Ruby takes the piss about how his staff talk to him like that. Johnny gives her money and tells her to buy herself a DVD. She says he lasted 3 hours before buying her off.

Garry and Minty invite Billy to live with them, as he is showing them round. Billy says suspiciously that they are only inviting him so that Johnny will agree to rent them the flat. They deny it. Back at the club, Johnny asks Billy's opinion as a reference for them.

Charllie goes to find Stacey, and asks Johnny, telling him that they only just discovered that Stacey should still be at school. Johnny says he hopes he didn't get her into trouble. Stacey tells Ruby what Johnny did and says her family have now disowned her. Johnny sends Stacey home and tells Ruby he didn't mean to drop Stacey in it, ut he will do her a deal, if she promises to study hard, he will let her stay here and go to a local school, and also try to be a better dad. He takes her out for lunch.

Stacey tells Charlie she is sorry and will leave. Charlie tells her that he wants her have every chance to make him proud.

Tina, having been stood up again, helps Alfie sell some crappy bunny outfits. While he is distracted, Rosie steals things off his stall, and then looks gulty as Alfie gives her an Easter egg free anyhow. She gives her kids the stolen Easter eggs.

Ruby happens to talk to Mickey in the Vic, and he makes a comment about what Stacey did being wrong and that she's a liar. He is talking about the mugging lie, of course, but Ruby knows nothing about that, and thinks he means the dole-thief story. Ruby sticks up for Stacey, saying it was wrong, but she wasn't lying, it was his father who was the liar, he didn't have a bad back at all, and Stacey didn't do any harm in reporting his father's fraudulent claim.

Billy helps Pat with her shopping bags, and she offers him a place to stay, since she's alone in this huge house. He says she already refused him, and there's Terence as well. Pat says it's better than a B&B, and Terence will brighten the place up. It will be easier, closer for work, and cheaper as well. They go to the pub for a drink.

Rather scarily, Sonia visits Rebecca's granny, lying that she knew the family and calling herself Pamela.

Alfie takes Tina for a drink in the Vic, thanking Mo and Tina for helping him sell his stock. Johnny goes to talk to Tina and she is offhand when he tells her to be patient.

Mickey is amazed, and rushes home to tell the family, so the thieving scum parents both rush over to the Vic to make a revolting shrieking saga and attack Stacey, who denies everything. Mickey says Ruby told him. Stacey is with her whole family, but of course, the Slaters are far from honest citizens, so don't back her point that the doles thieves are stealing from everyone else, as they are almost all petty thieves themselves. The rest of the Vic customers also decline to intervene, so a vicious little cat fight starts between Stacey and the vile harridan mother, and they are thrown out. Stacey calls Keith a filthy layabout (how accurate), and says he is a conman, at least her family work. Charlie tells Stacey off and drags her out. Stacey tells Ruby, very threateningly, that she has made herself an enemy today.

Mon 28 Mar 2005

Dot and Pauline discuss the shrieking banshee scum mother attacking people in the Vic. They also gossip about Billy moving in with Pat.

The chav scum harridan screeches loudly at her kids for looking like scum. Old Mo tells Stacey to apologise for informing on the Millers and that it was spiteful. Charlie tells her to go and talk to them. She goes out and Mickey and the old harridan give her evil looks. Mickey shouts at Jules on the phone. Jules is at his mate's moaning about the stolen gear. His mate says he owes him, and this is the one favour and the slate is clean. Mickey goes into the cafe and asks everyone if they've seen Jules.

Johnny tells Tina that Ruby is his priority now, so go home and he will call when he has a chance. Ruby is moaning about Stacey being her only friend and she's not talking to her now. She moans to Danny who says why would she want to be mates, Stacey is the bride of Chucky. Ruby whines, so he says she could buy Ruby a present, and when Jules comes in, he tells her that Jules sells jewellery, he can sort you out. When he gets to the stall, Mickey is furious with him. Ruby buys a bracelet, and it's broken. Danny looks at it and says it doesn't look new.

Sonia tells Martin she had to see her kid, and he says, OK well she has and it's over with. Jim talks to her in the cafe and mentions she will never see Rebecca again and that she should concentrate on kids or her own. Sonia says the granny invited her to go round whenever she likes. Sonia gets Martin to come home for lunch and tells him she wants to see the kid again. Martin is furious, and won't even consider it, and Sonia and Martin argue again.

Pat goes into the Minute Mart and tells Patrick she is re-opening the bookies because she needs a job, at least until she hears differently from Dennis. Ruby goes in and apologises to Stacey.

Pat is sympathetic to Rosie who is busy screeching at everyone. She gives her a batch of flyers about the bookies to hand out. However, if she finds the flyers in the bin, she won't pay.

Alfie eats an apple and loses a crown and Mo looks after his stall while he goes to the dentist, even though she hasn't the remotest idea how much anything is, and the first thing she does is drop everything all over the floor. Alfie asks her about the speaker jacks and she says they had no price so she sold them for 25p each. A bloke wanted four, but when she told him the price he took the whole box. Alfie says "oh" and Mo asks what is wrong. Alfie explains they have gold in them, and they're a few quid each. Mo is upset and offers to help him longer. She also buys him a present, and happens to mention that she's visiting Lynne and Zoe is already there.

Charlie goes to get Stacey out of the Minute Mart, becuase the school says she isn't allowed to work, and Demi sees her in the square and throws a bucket of water over her. Rosie goes over to join the screeching fight, and drops all the flyers she was supposed to hand out for Pat in the water. Pat looks at the pile of wasted flyers and frowns. Rosie goes off looking back guiltily.

Danny goes with Ruby to get her money back and a replacement. Mickey says it's not theirs, and Danny says she bought it from Jules. The market inspector comes over and asks what the problem is. Dozey Mickey goes home and whines that his stall has been closed down for selling stolen gear.

Tue 29 Mar 2005 X

Thu 31 Mar 2005

Sonia argues with Martin again, telling him she is going to see Rebecca again, and says she won't listen to him - she knows what he thinks and she doesn't care. Martin visits Jim, and Dot asks what they are whispering about, and they tell her, and she offers to talk to Sonia. When Sonia arrives, she starts screeching and screaming that she doesn't care about Martin, all she cares about is her daughter. Dot points out that Rebecca is loved, safe and secure, and Sonia can't get her back, and the longer she is involved, the worse it will be for Sonia. Sonia says she is grown up now, and she knows what she is doing is right. Martin asks, if it's right, why she has lied about who she is? Sonia realises all her spurious arguments have been shot down and storms out in a huff.

The scum family run out of dog food and baby food and the brats argue with their parents about the complete lack of any money or anything to do. Darren asks Keith why he can't have things like Peter Beale, and Keith says he hasn't got a job. Darren says there are loads of jobs in the paper, he could do this telephone sales job, and how does he know if he hasn't looked at it? Keith takes the paper, pretends to read the job and says he doesn't want to be on the phone all day. Keith hands back the paper, and it's on the other half of the page - the entire visible part is an ad for bus drivers. Darren looks confused and then suspicious. He tells Demi that although Keith pretends to be clever, he can't read: he is stupid and that's why they are skint. The thieving mother goes to the shop and steals baby food. Mo sees her and tells her off for stealing from neighbours - and adds that Yolande would have let her have it on tick if she explained. Rosie goes home and tells Keith she was caught shoplifting - he has to go to the Job Centre, she is fed up with his pride stopping him getting a job.

Alfie arranges to meet Little Mo for lunch. Danny and Jake tease him about having an affair with Mo. She is nervous and says she would have dressed up if she knew he was taking her somewhere this nice. Alfie is embarrassed about his loud tacky shirt as everyone else in the restaurant looks more sophisticated. Alfie tells her he is having a good time and Mo meekly and whinily replies that she is too.

Gus discovers that Jules lied about his friend being innocent, as the description of the thief matches perfectly, and throws him out of his flat without his stuff. Yolande says she'll let Jules change and shower at their house, and Patrick lends him one of Paul's shirts.

Ruby tries to make it up with Stacey. Stacey sulks and stays in the Vic, where she chats up a scruffy youth - (a Justin Timberlake lookalike) and then she invites him to the portacabin for "a bit of fun" (sex). Ruby sees him in passing and runs off to get her father, because he is the man who mugged her. Stacey is getting down to having her fun with her boyfriend/mugger, then Johnny arrives and attacks the mugger and tells Stacey to keep away from his daughter (presumably because she's a tart). Stacey runs home crying and Ruby follows her and asks if she is OK through the letter box.

Martin goes home and tells Sonia she is causing hurt, and he has never hurt her (err conveniently forgetting that he carelessly knocked down and killed her fiance, Jamie!). He tells Sonia that all her lies will do damage to Rebecca's granny, and pretending to be a friend isn't on, so she has to tell her the truth, or he will.

Fri 1 Apr 2005

Martin and Sonia argue about Rebecca again.

Little Mo tells Alfie she's going to Lynne's for a while.

Johnny tells Ruby to keep away from Stacey after last night, and tells her to stay at home and "have fun" (but not the same kind of fun Stacey was having last night I presume!). She goes to the cafe and meets Stacey, and asks if she is OK. Stacey says she didn't need Ruby's father running round after her.

Darren whines that there is no food and Rosie tells him to eat cereal again. He moans to Demi that it's Keith's fault they have no money, why is he only just going to the Job Centre after all these years?

Old Mo makes Stacey take a bag of charity food to the Millers with some story because Rosie refuses "charity". Then Stacey goes round to Ruby's with a peace offering of a chocolate cake and they make up.

Mickey tells Jules he doesn't trust him and he no longer wants to be partners. Jules goes to return the shirt Patrick lent him. Gus tries to persuade Jules to stay, suggesting a job with the council. Jules is dismissive of Gus's job sweeping up rubbish, and leaves for good on the tube.

Little Mo goes off in a taxi and Alfie waves her off mournfully.

Darren tricks Keith into signing a note saying he is sick to get out of games. Darren says isn't he going to read the note first? Keith pretends to read it and initials it, saying it's fine, and Darren says it reads "Darren cannot do games because his dad can't read." Darren confronts Keith, saying he is a liar. Rosie and Demi look, and Mickey comes in and says stupidly "I know, it's an April Fool". Keith has to admit publicly that Darren is correct. He says he didn't go to school and lied about it. The kids all look at him. He says there's no point going to the Job Centre if his own kids think he's too stupid to get a job, who else will give him one? [What a lazy slob. Hundreds of tedious jobs require no literacy skills - anyone who visits London knows that many are currently done by foreigners with no ability to read or speak English.]

Sonia and Martin visit Rebecca's granny and Martin is a bit fazed by the kid. Sonia tries to persuade him to keep tricking the granny so they can see her, but Martin refuses to indulge her lies, saying he is protecting her from herself. She admits to the granny that she is Rebecca's real mother. The granny grabs Rebecca away from Sonia and says in terror that she lied her way into her home, and is she here to snatch the child? Sonia says no, she just wanted to know she was safe and wails that she is her daughter. The small child looks on in confusion then Sonia tells her that she is leaving and won't forget her. The child hands the drawing she was doing to Martin, and Sonia leaves tearfully, as Martin apologises to the granny. Outside, Sonia says she hopes Rebecca will remember them.

Mon 4 Apr 2005

Rosie asks Keith to cover for he cleaning the Vic, as she has another job on. He agrees. Keith asks Mickey what he thinks about his illiteracy, and Mickey says it was a shock, he thought he would have noticed over the years, but he doesn't think any worse of Keith. Mickey talks to Darren about it, and says Keith is still the same person, and he just never went to school, so how could he ever learn anything?

Sam is busy and asks Keith to do more - cellar work and even serve Minty during lunch time. Sam gives him an extra ten pounds.

Ian complains to Minty about his image, and then he calls the Arches and tells Minty off for not answering the phone as he directed. He visits for a spot check and says he will be doing more surprise inspections. Minty is sarcastic and doesn't take it seriously.

Tina tells Johnny she wants to move in properly and stop all the furtive sneaking around. Johnny says it won't work, and then he has to rush off to look at a local college for Ruby. Pat speaks to Johnny and he pretends not to know Tina at all. He takes Ruby to the college and the headmaster reads her reports. He suggests that she was studying for 11 GCSEs and started to drop grades - understandably in the circumstances - so perhaps she should drop a few subjects. Johnny objects, saying for the fees they charge, with one-on-one tuition she should be able to pass them.

Afterwards, he gives Ruby some money to go shopping for a new coat. She sneaks off with Stacey. He goes to shout at Tina, saying that Pat knows about them, and he doesn't want her round here near Ruby. He says he doesn't want his business so close where people can gossip about them. She objects to him calling her business, and he says he keeps her, she is his mistress, it's expensive, so it's business.

They argue, and Tina says she has never done anything to harm any of his family, and she wants a real relationship, she isn't a cheap piece of meat.

Sam offers Keith a job in the cellar, and he asks why it is that she and Chrissie seem to hate going to the cellar so much. She says it's bad for their nails, and hands him a long list of stock to check. Seeing the printed lists, Keith makes an excuse and runs off.

Darren goes everywhere asking for jobs and Pat says he can walk the dog for a couple of quid. He does, and with his money he buys a learn to read book. He tells Rosie he has a present for Dad, but when he give it to Keith, he shouts that it's an insult, is he trying to make fun of him? Darren shouts back that it was the only book they had, they don't have books for old blokes, they are all for children, and Mickey told him that he'd never been shown how to read, so he was going to show him. However, now Darren shouts back that he was right before - Keith is a pathetic loser. He runs off to his room, upset, and Rosie sighs and follows him.

Tue Apr 5 2005

Keith apologises to Darren, who wants to go out with Peter Beale, bowling, and they tell him they have no money to pay for it. He tells Rosie they must make an effort to find some cash. He looks around at their possessions to find something to sell. He takes an old cracked vase to Alfie's stall and sells it to Jake who is there for a few minutes.

Dot moans to Jim that the house is empty and they have all those spare rooms, it's a waste. He looks at putting an ad in the shop, and Alfie says he'll have to be careful with lodgers. Jim oooh yes, says he supposes that a bloke might start fancying Dot. Alfie looks astonished and says quickly err yes. Dot and Jim look at new houses and Sonia sees them and is horrified.

Johnny buys Ruby a new phone, with video messaging, to replace the one she lost when she was mugged. Seeing her wealth, Stacey invites her out shopping. Tina phones and Johnny is offhand. Tina is annoyed when she meets him, and says the fuses have gone in the flat.

Stacey and Ruby go round the stalls and Stacey makes it clear she wouldn't pay for anything, she will just steal it. Ruby is horrified but goes along with it. At home, she tells Stacey that this is thieving from her own family. Stacey says Zoe isn't really family.

Ruby goes back and pays Zoe for the clothes, and buys Stacey a present as well, which Stacey loves.

Johnny tells Billy to do Tina's fuses, and Billy says he's busy now, but he can go this evening, and Johnny gives him the landlord's keys. He goes over to the flat, as his other job falls through, and Johnny is still there, and they are having a kiss. Johnny quickly hides in the bedroom, and Tina firmly ushers Billy out, saying it's not convenient. Johnny knocks something over and Billy hears.

Billy goes to the office and tells Johnny that he thinks the tenant is taking liberties - there was someone there, so maybe it's double occupancy.

Keith and Rosie give Darren the money to go bowling, but then Demi discovers the phone has been disconnected and points out the pile of unpaid bills. Peter Beale comes round to collect Darren, saying they tried to call, but the phone wasn't on. Darren makes up a stupid excuse about the phone, but then tells Peter he can't go bowling. He goes off sulkily saying to Rosie he won't spend the money they need.

Keith goes to see Ian with a business proposition. He tells the kids the phone bill has been paid, and they can all go bowling later this week. Darren and Demi go into the living room and discover the TV has gone. Everyone shouts and is horribly upset. Darren says this is even more stupid of Keith - now they can't even invite people back, as they will know that they are too stupid to have a TV. He also mentions that Peter told him about Ian's bankruptcy, and how they haven't always had money.

Ian shows his kids their new TV (so they have one each). [Hmm, any bets Peter finds out where it came from pretty soon?]

Thu 7 Apr 2005

Johnny again messes Tina and Ruby about - getting Tina lots of presents on her birthday, but ignoring her publicly, and very rudely, when Ruby appears.

Alfie gets a letter from Spencer (I'm amazed he can write). He invites Alfie and Nana to visit. Danny is childishly pleased to be getting the house to himself and Jake for a while, and wants to plan a party (how old is he - that sounds like a child when his parents go away!). However, Alfie thinks it would be too hard for Nana to make the trip. Danny tries his best, suggesting he could drive them in one of Johnny's cars.

Later, Alfie and Jake find Nana having fallen over on the floor while packing. Jake's cross at Danny for persuading them to let Nana go when she is clearly not up to it.

After his rudeness earlier, Johnny tells Tina that they can discuss their relationship. Tina overhears Billy gossip about Johnny ordering diamonds. She is thrilled and presumably expects an engagement ring (and will get a huge disappointment I'm sure).

Peter is a very strange boy, he looks like The Omen devil child but acts with a remarkably unchildlike, and certainly un-Ian-like saintliness. He decides that he feels guilty that the Millers have no TV because they sold it to Ian, and Darren is snappy when replying it was a simple buy-sell, transaction. Darren is impressed by Ian because he works for a living, unlike his lazy, slovenly and sloth-like father. Saint Peter replies that Keith is very clever, and when Daren counters that he is illiterate, Peter says that makes it even more impressive. (Not really, I'm sure it's amazing how much you can learn if you have 100% leisure time, do nothing but watch TV, and don't have to work for a living, just do a bit of fraud, thieving, conning social services, accepting handouts and neighbour's charity, but Peter probably never imagined that).

Later, Ian catches Peter actually carrying his TV back to the Millers'! Peter quickly and dishonestly explains that Ian suggested it be returned when he realised it was the Miller's only set. Scary mad Rosie hugs Ian (arghh!).

Johnny gives Tina a small (but not small enough) jewellery box. She is horribly disappointed when it's only earrings, which frankly, is just lazy scriptwriting - this exact same scene happened with Dennis and Zoe a few months ago. They could at least have changed the item from earrings to something else! Johnny says he loves her, but can't marry her, because he "can't" tell Ruby. Or won't. Tina is unreasonably understanding of his very dubious excuses, and they decide to spend the night in together, again.

Later, Tina confides in Pat (when did they become great buddies?) about Johnny and that it's secret due to Ruby. Pat says that's typical of Johnny. Ruby invites Johnny to a parents' evening at her college. She's upset when, as usual, he claims that he's too busy. She flounces off in a huff to whinge at Stacey about her evil father. Stacey is just such a bad influence - of course, she gets Ruby drunk. Johnny finds them in his office. Ruby whines that she did it to get attention.

Meanwhile, Johnny has YET AGAIN (!!!) stood up Tina, who is understandably exceptionally cross about it. (Why on earth does she put up with it?) Tina storms round to Johnny at his and Ruby's house. So that Ruby won't hear, (although in her drunken stupor that seems unlikely) he pushes her out of the door. Tina warns him that she won't put up with him always putting everyone else before her.

Demi's also very pissed off - Keith can't even be trusted to hand over a doctor's letter he has had for ages (about Aleesha's jabs). Keith really is a moron, if he can't read, just give the thing to someone who can!

Fri 8 Apr 2005

Alfie phones Spencer to say he can't leave the house because of Nana. Danny and Jake try to persuade him to go, saying they can look after her.

Tina leaves the cafe with coffee and spills it over a nice passing stranger who isn't upset. She sees Johnny and he makes his excuse about his sick child for missing her birthday. He says he sees the cake arrived, can he have a slice? They can argue for weeks or she can let him make it up to her. Tina says they can't go on like this. Johnny presents a short break in a Scottish hotel. She says she doesn't like the situation, with him pretending she doesn't exist. She says she is trapped - why can't they just go out for a drink in the local pub in public?

Stacey visits Ruby and they both have huge hangovers. Ruby says perhaps Johnny was right and Stacey is a bad influence. Stacey looks miserable, then Ruby reveals she was just kidding.

Rosie has some extra work at Fargo's and asks Keith to go with Demi to the doctor. Demi looks unimpressed. Later, Demi makes up an excuse for Keith not to go with her because she still very annoyed that he couldn't even be trusted to hand over the appointment letter.

Rosie sees Mickey closing the stall as he has no-one else to cover while he gets supplies. Rosie says Keith could be his assistant. Mickey says he's unreliable and would be a liability. Rosie asks if he will think about it and Mickey says OK.

Rosie has assumed that Mickey was offering Keith a job, and Mickey says he can't, there is image to think about, and it would kill business, Keith can't even bother to shave in the mornings - he is more ming than bling (haha). But, Rosie looks pleading and Mickey gives in.

Back from the doctor's, Demi tells everyone she refuses to go back to school, she wants to be a full-time mother (ie she doesn't trust Keith with the baby now that he's let her down once already).

Alfie asks Danny to post Spencer's present. Danny doesn't. He has moved Nana's bed into a downstairs room and says he has a week off from work so Alfie can visit Spencer.

Stacey is amazed when watching satellite TV at Ruby's, saying she'd never go out if she had all these channels. She moans about the lack of fit blokes around here and suggests that Ruby should have fun at college with the new blokes. They are busy dancing to loud music and don't notice Johnny until he's right outside, so Stacey rushes out the back door, narrowly avoiding meeting him.

Johnny shows Tina a new house he has bought for them to live in, saying that she won't have to live in a grotty flat. Tina is thrilled and worried about what Ruby thinks. Johnny says she won't be moving there - she will still live here, and he will be, and when he's not, he will be with Tina. She is very unimpressed and says it's just the same as the flat, but a different roof, and he will still be living elsewhere. He says he already lost one daughter and won't let his other daughter down, so that's all he can offer, and if she isn't happy, then she would have to throw the last ten years down the drain.

Tina gets dressed up and goes out to the club and tells Johnny that she's fed up with empty gestures, so she is looking for someone else. She bumps into the nice man from earlier, and offers to buy him a drink after spilling her coffee on him. He is in "tele-sales" looking for business advertisers, but he has a dream, he is only doing this until he can open a limo business. She says that has a familiar ring to it, obviously secretly making the analogy with her own life. The man invites her to dinner, saying she doesn't seem like the usual type of woman one sees in a club like this.

Johnny comes over and tells Tina she is being childish and just doing it to annoy him. Tina says it's not a game, if he can't offer her what she wants, she will go elsewhere. When the guy comes back with a cab, he asks if he is interrupting anything. She asks Johnny, who is silent, so she says she will take that as a no. She leaves the club, but Johnny makes no move, so when she gets outside she tells the guy she made a mistake and he gets a bit cross, telling her not to play childish games with other men just because she has a tiff with her bloke.

Mon 11 Apr 2005

Johnny can't decide whether to call Tina or not. Ruby disturbs him and he is surprised she was up that early. She is nervous about her new school and starts getting ready, saying it takes an hour to get there on the tube. Tina calls while they are talking, and Johnny ignores it and tells Ruby she isn't going to school by herself. He tells Danny to drive her, and goes to see Tina. She explains that she didn't go anywhere with that bloke with whom she left the club. Johnny says he only has her word for that, and he just imagined her rolling around on the bed he paid for, with that other bloke. She says she wants a proper life with him, and he says he has a life, with Ruby, it won't work now, he can only think of her with that other bloke. She made her choice, in the club, this is his, now. Pat sees Johnny leave Tina's flat and sympathetically goes to visit her. Pat gives her some advice - saying that if you push Johnny, the shutters come down, but give him time and let him make his own decisions.

Darren is astonished that Keith is up at 7am, saying it's a first. Keith wanders around and does no work at all, just fetching himself food and coffee, presumably with the stall money, and then rushing off. Mickey goes home for lunch and tells Rosie it's costing him more in food and drink than he is making. Then Demi arrives home from school and tells Rosie that she doesn't trust Keith alone with Aleesha, after he messed up with the jabs letter.

Garry and Minty move into their new flat. Old Mo helps, after Garry bribes her with a six-pack. Minty is nervous at Old Mo's continual flirting with him!! He is terrified when Old Mo says Garry has left them alone together for a reason. Minty goes to the cafe and finds Garry, then tells him that he is not going back there alone with Old Mo.

Johnny tells Ruby he will have dinner with her, and hands her a pile of takeaway menus, telling her to tell Danny what she is ordering and he will be home at 6. She orders lots of things, and when Danny questions it, she says she doesn't know what her father likes. She puts candles on the table and arranges videos and CDs that her father likes for the evening. He asks her about her first day at school and she tells him that her only homework is to write an essay about her and her family, them, and mum and Scarlet. Johnny gets uncomfortable, and say he has to go. Ruby is devastated, and whines that she thought they were spending the evening together.

Johnny sees Pat and she makes a dodgy comment, and Johnny goes round to Tina's flat and accuses her of telling Pat about them. Johnny says her new best friend will start blabbing around the square. He says viciously that he wants her out - of the flat, the square and Walford.

Tue 12 Apr 2005

Ruby locks herself out late at night in her pyjamas, while at the club, Tina is talking to Johnny, who tells her that it's over, so she should stop making a fuss about it. Ruby bangs on her door, then sits on the doorstep for a while, until she eventually runs off to find somewhere to go that's not so cold. Stacey sees her wandering around the square and asks what she is doing outside dressed like this.

Ruby says she was sleepwalking, and Stacey makes her a hot drink, explaining that she was up so late because she was watching a film. She goes to bang on the door but Johnny isn't home. Stacey says she can stay there, and leave a phone message for Johnny to let him know where she is. Ruby does so. She sleeps in Zoe's bed, and Stacey tells her that the noise is Old Mo snoring. Stacey tells Ruby that she's not weird, her mother was neurotic, especially after her father died. She asks what happened to Ruby's family. Ruby says their house burned down, and her mother and sister Scarlet died. She was sent to school and her father sold the house without telling her. She says that she thinks that's why she sleepwalks, to get out of the house at night, she gets panic attacks. Stacey promises to keep it quiet.

Tina and Johnny argue some more, she tells him that his life will be empty without her, and she knows he loves her. He gives her until 3pm to pack and move out of the flat. She goes home and tearfully starts packing. She talks to Pat, who apologises if she dropped her in it yesterday. Tina says she is packed and when Pat asks if she can help, Tina asks for a place to stay.

Demi is up with her noisy teething brat.

Pauline is up because it's the anniversary of Mark's death. Pat sees her first thing and offers a sympathetic word about it. Dot immediately rushes out when she sees Pauline in the square, and asks how she is.

Garry and Minty discuss Old Mo, and Garry says Old Mo is stalking him, she is always looking at his bum. He goes on about the food she keeps giving him as well, and she is round here all the time. Garry laughs that Minty is fretting about his ex-grandmother-in-law coming round to look at his bum, and says if he really cares, he should stop eating all the food she brings.

Stacey goes round to Johnny's, and he immediately tells her to leave his daughter alone! She tells him they were shouting through the letter box all night, and tells Johnny off, saying that he hasn't even bothered to check his phone messages, or see if Ruby was OK, and the saddest thing is that Ruby was actually worried about him.

Stacey tells Ruby to make the most of it, she can milk it for all it's worth - get at least a pair of shoes from him. She adds that if Ruby's upset about him not talking to her, he will have to now. However, when she tells Johnny that all she wants is to talk about it, he says fine, he will arrange her a psychotherapist. She cries that she only wants to talk to him, but he callously dismisses her as far too nutty for him to talk to, and says she needs a professional.

Thu 14 Apr 2005

Ruby moans about her father insisting she has to see a psychiatrist because she is too nutty for him to deal with.

Pat asks Tina if she slept well, and she did. He sees Tina going into Pat's and goes to the bookies to confront Pat. Pat says she just takes the rent.

At the flat, Garry comments on Minty's lack of personal hygiene.

Old Mo taunts Minty in the Arches, putting her foot right between his legs as he is lying on the floor. Minty looks terrified!

Pauline goes to the Vic and asks for her iron dog doorstop. Chrissie says she will buy a replacement, and Pat jokes that maybe Den took it when he did a runner, as a memento of Pauline. Chrissie goes to the back and Sam says it will just be a joke soon, don't worry. Chrissie says she keeps thinking there is something she has forgotten, a loose end.

Old Mo tells Stacey that she had better get a paying job, or she will get one for her - and the local dog kennels need someone to clean out the kennels.

In the launderette, Dot tells Stacey that there is a shampoo assistant job going in her hairdresser's shop.

Stacey goes to the shop and begs Patrick and Yolande for her job back, saying that she has to work to pay back the money she still owes them. They make her sweat but then they agree, saying that she has to be here at 7.15 sharp tomorrow.

Johnny asks to see Tina, and tells her that the reason he can't commit to her is that Ruby was sleepwalking again. Tina says he is pushing Ruby too hard with her exams. Johnny is cross and says she knows nothing about Ruby. Tina says she is not going to let him push her out - she is staying in Walford. Ruby walks in as they are talking, and Tina is tactful and quickly goes into the office without making a scene to hide from Ruby, who asks if he has done any more about what he said earlier.

Pauline comments to Dot that she is lucky with her family, but she thinks about the baby that should be part of the family too. Now that Martin and Sonia are married, if they had known this then, they wouldn't have given up the baby. Dot looks awkward.

Demi says she wants to get Aleesha christened, and Keith offers to take the baby to church to make enquiries, while she's at school, but Demi refuses to let him. Dopey Keith beings to realise that something is up. He asks Rosie, and later talks to Demi. He says he knows it's about the doctor's note, and she's worried about her baby. He says he has an idea, which three people in the square would she be happy to leave Aleesha with? Demi says Mo Mitchell, Dot and Pauline. Keith makes a face, but continues that if he is looking after Aleesha and anything at all happens that he doesn't know what to do, he will immediately take her to one of those three and ask for help, even if it means they discover he can't read. Demi is impressed.

Old Mo visits Minty and Garry and "accidentally" goes into the bathroom where Minty is having a shower. He gets upset and calls it sexual harassment, and Old Mo finally laughs and says it was a wind up with the market stall women, they pick on someone to see how they react.

Ruby visits Stacey, and tells her that her dad wants to send her to a shrink. Stacey says she's not really mental, and her father is more mental for not talking about it. She says Ruby is too nice to him, and she should stand up to him.

Johnny goes to the Vic and meets Tina at the bar. Tracey thinks they are together, and Johnny quickly says no, she was first. He thanks Tina for getting out of the way when Ruby arrived. Tina is horrified that he knows her so little. He apologises, and asks if they can forget everything that has happened. Tina says no.

Fri 15 Apr 2005 X

Mon 18 Apr 2005

Pauline invites Sonia to tea, and Sonia says she's got to go to a lecture. Dot admonishes Sonia that the tension between her and Pauline is about Chloe, and family secrets are bad. Sonia refuses to tell her.

Pauline gets her bus pass (for being 60) and whines to Dot about it. Dot says she said told them she didn't want a party on her birthday. They reminisce about old Lou Beale's 60th on Aug 4th in the seventies some time.

Dot goes and buys two party hats, some Belgian chocolates and a bottle of expensive wine at the Minute Mart. She makes Jim help her with a cake, and mentions the "secret" and that she wants to tell Pauline. Jim tells her not to tell Pauline the secret - it is not hers to tell.

Johnny talks to Tina and it's obvious that she and he have very different ideas about their relationship. He tells Jake to show Tina the ropes at work in the club. Johnny also tells Billy to take the rest of the day off, giving him 50 quid and telling him to take pretty girl out.

Someone phones Pat's house but doesn't leave a message, and there are similar mysterious calls at the Vic twice as well. Pat suggests maybe it was Den. Chrissie is slightly taken aback. Billy hands over the 50 quid and buys Pat a drink. He tells her what Johnny said and she jokes "are you flirting with me?" They get drunk together in the Vic and chat pleasantly. Pat says Billy seems happier recently, and he says he is. The Vic phone rings again (third time).

Dot tells Jim to fetch Pauline, and she makes her close her eyes and ushers her in for a surprise "party" - just the two of them and a cake, wine, hats, etc. Jim goes out to the Vic leaving them to it. Dot and Pauline get drunk and natter on about life, etc. Dot says women are just for cleaning, cooking and washing up (hmm a lot of men will be rather disappointed about that). They chatter about going round London together, visiting all the attractions, the Crown Jewels, etc. Pauline mentions how old she feels, and how men stopped whistling at her, or flirting with her, and Dot says she was always embarrassed by it and ignored them. Pauline talks about family and secrets and also mentions Sonia, and Dot says she needs to make allowances for her, and is eventually drawn into telling Pauline the "secret" that Martin and Sonia saw Chloe, making her promise first that she will never mention it. Obviously when Pauline discovers the secret, she is less inclined to keep her promise. She is annoyed at Dot for keeping it secret so long. She says the law is wrong and Chloe should be where she belongs, with her.

Tina works that night, and inventively circumvents a problem that Jake has with the vodka running out. Johnny calls her to the office to discuss her contract. She is wearing a low cut scarlet satiny dress. Johnny tells her he missed her over the weekend and she avoids him and goes back to work. Later, Johnny tells her to take the evening off, and says he thought they were "back to normal". She says she spent the weekend thinking about what she wants. She will turn around and be 45, 50, 60 years old. Johnny asks what it is she wants. "Furs, diamonds?" Tina says she wants more. Johnny sighs.

In the Vic, a drunken Pat and Billy leave and weave their way home, quite frighteningly friendly. Billy says thanks to Pat for a great night out, and she says a night at the pub is a bit - ordinary. Billy says after the year he has had, ordinary is good. She toddles off to bed, and he goes to get a coffee. The back door opens and Billy turns around. The intruder is Phil, who takes off his baseball cap (great disguise for one on the run, obviously) and says "Hello Billy".

Tue 19 Apr 2005

Phil and Billy talk, and Phil tells Billy he needs the cash from the tills of all the businesses, the Vic, Arches, snooker hall, etc. Billy says he hasn't got the keys. He offers Phil tea, and Phil asks for vodka (AA isn't going well on the run, presumably). He asks Phil why he's not with Grant and Phil says looking at Courtney over the breakfast table would only remind him of Ben, so didn't appeal. Billy tells Phil all about Mo's kid, and her being raped, and that he couldn't hack it and they split up. Phil says Billy is a better man then he, he had two kids of his own and couldn't keep them. Billy says he can get the cash though - he knows a man. He goes off to find to Johnny (!), leaving Phil alone with Pat and Tina asleep upstairs.

Meanwhile, the phone goes off, it's Johnny ringing Tina, and when she answers he grabs her with his hand over her mouth, from behind. She is frightened and offers him all her money, then the police knock on the door. Pat comes down to answer it, and sees Phil, says with surprise "Phil!" and then quickly tells him to go out the back door, and tells Tina not to give the game away.

She lets the police in and they both cover well, but are questioned for a long time.

Meanwhile, Billy begs Johnny for money, which doesn't go down well. The police knock and Billy hides, while Johnny says he hasn't seen him all night.

Billy explains, and tells him Phil is at the house, and Johnny is horrified that the felon is with Tina, and quickly gives Billy the cash, but tells him to make sure Phil never comes back.

Phil is in trouble as police are swarming all over the square, so he goes into Ian's house, ask him who else is in the house, and threatens him with that old punishment, flushing his head down the toilet. Ian lies that just the kids are there, and is just as cowardly as he always is and begs for mercy, giving Phil all the cash he has in the house. However, as they make a bit of a noise, Jayne wakes up and knocks on the bathroom door, asking if Ian is OK. He says yes, but Phil is very annoyed that he lied, and asks about Jayne. They have a brief conversation about children, Phil moaning about Ben being the other side of the world, and Ian obviously agreeing, since so is Steven. Phil threatens Ian again, and Ian whines that Phil had him on his knees in the street begging for a few quid to save himself from bankruptcy. Lucy interrupts and Ian tries to act calm and says it's your uncle Phil, remember? The police knock at that moment. Ian covers for Phil, and behind the door, Phil tells Lucy that he won't hurt her, and the police ask Ian if he is OK, because he's soaking wet. Ian manages to get rid of them. He offers to get Phil money. Phil asks why, and Ian says because of Ben, they have more in common than Phil might think. He tells Phil to let himself into the Arches. Phil asks why Ian has the keys and he tells him Sam sold it to him due to a "cash-flow problem".

At Pat's, she and Tina are still being questioned, when Billy bursts in, saying he has the money! He looks horrified, and the police are very suspicious. He makes an excuse, that he won at poker, and the police ask about the empty glass, and wondering astutely whether they'd find Phil's prints on that glass. Billy denies it all, looking horribly shifty.

Phil lets himself into the Arches, but the police arrive in droves and he runs around a bit, bumping into Minty and Garry on their way home too, then running into the back door of Pauline's, then out the front door, where he is caught.

Everyone stands around looking, and Tina and Johnny glance at each other across the square. Billy looks out of his window and looks cross with himself. Ian comes over to gloat as they take Phil away, saying he's sure they'll do worse to him than flush his head down the toilet.

Mon 2 May 2005

Johnny goes to collect Tina in the morning and says they can take a stroll together, so people can see. Tina comments that everyone is looking and Johnny says that is the point, and kisses her. Johnny even clarifies the situation to Jake and Danny. Tina is scheduled to meet Ruby later and spend the day. She is nervous, and at home, Ruby is too, and asks Stacey what she can talk about all day. Stacey arranges to phone at 11:30 to pretend to be a bloke, so Ruby can escape. Stacey goes to the cafe and tells Jake, Danny, Garry and Minty the whole story about Tina and Ruby and the plan.

The scum family have a dull breakfast and Keith tells a moronic joke about "aardvark (hard work) never killed anyone". Darren says sarcastically oh yea, he'd know about that. Keith moans that he hasn't got a clean shirt and Rosie asks sarcastically what does he think he can do about that? Keith's first suggestion is the wear a dirty one. Eventually he goes to the launderette and can't read the instructions so tells Pauline he forgot his reading glasses. He finds a letter from the school in one of the children's pockets.

Martin goes off on a pre-planned stag do, and apologises to Sonia for leaving her alone with Pauline. Derek asks Ian to have a word with Pauline about the family mystery that appears to be more intractable than the Da Vinci code. Ian goes to see Pauline in the launderette and asks what the problem is. Pauline snaps at him and he leaves crossly. Ian goes back to moan at Jayne that if he has to listen to Pauline says one more time "your father would be ashamed of you..." After work, he goes round there again to ask Pauline about it. Pauline goes on about how much she cares about Rebecca. Ian is sympathetic and Pauline says his dad would be proud of him. Pauline tells him that the grandmother won't talk to Sonia, and Ian says what if he spoke to her and asked if Pauline could see her?

Mickey gets an old computer that was being thrown away, and Darren is sceptical but is then thrilled to play with it. They find a program that speaks words you type in, and Keith uses it to read the letter, which asks him to call the school ASAP about Darren's poor concentration. He confronts Darren about the letter, and says look at him - and what happens if you don't pay attention at school.

Jim polishes his car and Patrick and he discuss feminism, and Patrick blames it on Germaine Greer making women think they are men's equals.

Sonia goes to whinge at Dot for telling Pauline. Dot apologises then goes to tell Pauline off. Sonia stays at Dot's to avoid Pauline. She suggests that Jim teach Dot to drive, as the driving lessons are so expensive.

Jake and Danny tell Johnny about Stacey's plan and Johnny says Ruby was looking forward to going out with Tina, why would she do that? He sees Stacey and talks to her in the Vic, and distracting her, he takes her mobile phone and she can't call Ruby.

Tue 3 May 2005

Sonia stays at Dot's for another night, and Dot says she will have to face Pauline some time. Dot tells Jim she needs a cigarette before her driving lesson, and Jim is a bit sarcastic about it. He sets up a pretend car in the living room because Dot is so nervous. Dot says it's silly and he is just doing it before he gives her proper lessons. After two minutes, Dot says she has had enough and goes out and gets into the car. She crashes the gears on her first attempt. He says go careful, it's hard to find new gearboxes for the old car. They have a rather bumpy ride and eventually the car stalls. Jim accuses Dot of breaking it, and then Derek looks in the car window and notes it's run out of petrol. Patrick, Derek and Jim push the car home.

When Dot goes inside, Patrick, Derek and Jim laugh and says it was a great trick. Later in the Vic, while they are still giggling, Dot comes in and tells Derek that he can teach her to drive instead.

Ian discusses Pauline's problem with Jayne, who thinks it is a bad idea for him to interfere. Ian checks old newspapers for the story about the accident, and Jayne catches him, and he says quickly he is doing some recycling. Jayne leaves suspiciously, and when she comes back and finds Ian looking in the yellow pages for the church, she shouts at him that he is treating her like an idiot and lying to her, and she won't stand for it. After asking the newspaper and church, Pauline says there is one way to get the address - search Sonia's room. Ian suspiciously asks her if she has done it already. She says no, and they go to look in her room and find a box of personal items. Sonia comes into the kitchen as they are looking, and Pauline rushes out to stall her. Sonia finds it awkward, and she says she will come back later. Ian finds the address and Pauline wants to go round there straight away. Ian says she had better not, and he will try to talk to her first as Pauline isn't very diplomatic.

When he goes back to the cafe, Jayne asks why he is doing it, and he says he agrees with Pauline - when it comes to family there is nothing you won't do for your children. They argue a bit. Ian says Pauline has always been there for him, even when she disagreed with him, she'd be there with a cup of tea, and he always felt she was on his side. He goes off to talk to the grandmother, and Jayne says she will come with him, even though she doesn't agree with him, she's on his side. The woman says there is no way that she will let the family see Rebecca. She says Sonia sold her a pack of lies for ages, and pretended to be a friend of her dead daughter, so she won't let them come and take Rebecca away from her. She is a bit hysterical, and Jayne quickly tells Ian to leave and talks to Margaret alone. Jayne says that she knows what it is like to lose someone before their time, and she suggests that Rebecca could have more people to love her now she has lost her parents - and Pauline would be able to do that. She agrees to let Pauline see the child.

Keith meets Darren's teacher, who says that his unreliable attendance is a bit of a problem, but the main problem is that his literacy is poor. Keith looks embarrassed. She offers some after-school tutoring, and suggests that some changes at home would help - if they read together as a family! Keith gets rid of her quickly.

Darren comes home and says is that all - he has been told all that before. He says that Keith can't read and he gets on all right, it doesn't matter. Keith sits him down and tells him to read a book. Darren reads very slowly and can't even read easy words like "looking" and "stroked". After one sentence, he stops and says he won't carry on, and Keith is the stupid one, he can't even read the cover of the book. Later, Keith apologises, and says his teacher made him read aloud once at school, and he couldn't. He wants Darren to get more than he did out of life.

Thu 5 May 2005

Dot has a fraught driving lesson with Derek, as she starts complaining about a man doing deliveries, saying crossly that there are bye-laws about doing this. The (quite large) man gets out of his cab, and Derek rushes out to apologise. He is totally stressed out and eventually snaps at Dot. They get out and Dot asks if they can do it again, and Derek says he thinks that wouldn't be a good idea. Dot goes to the cafe and is very upset. Jayne is helpful and very kind. Dot says even Derek told her off, he moaned at her not to shout at the truck driver. Jayne laughs and says good for her, more women should do it - she was taught by a woman instructor, who said that men are often aggressive to women drivers. Dot asks her to give her a lesson, and Jayne agrees.

Ian gives Pauline the phone number but she is hesitant to call. When she does, she arranges to visit the same day. The meeting is satisfactory, and Margaret lets Pauline give her a bear and go to see Rebecca's dolls house. She manages to get the kid to ask her to stay longer, which doesn't please Margaret. Pauline says she doesn't know when she might visit again.

Garry and Minty arrange a double date. Minty is nervous, saying he has never met a bird in daylight before. Garry can't remember what his is like, and she comes in and is quite attractive (enough for Garry), and says her friend is paying the cab. Minty goes to find her, and she is a loud, fat ugly woman who is always cackling loudly. The date goes well for Garry, but Minty says he has to go, making an excuse. Garry tries to persuade him to stay, because he is on a promise with his woman, but Minty says no way.

When Ian takes Pauline home, she says she has to see Rebecca again, she will buy Sonia a nice birthday present and try to talk her round.

Fri 6 May 2005

Pauline gives Sonia a birthday present - an expensive suede jacket and also an apology about her recent over-reacting behaviour. They clean out the kitchen cupboards and Pauline says it will give them chance to chat. She tells Sonia she went to see Chloe. Sonia is furious about Pauline rifling through her room to find the address, and says she is an evil old cow and petulantly returns the birthday present, calling it a bribe. They whitter on boringly for ages repeating the same tedious old rubbish about the adoption, sniping at each other and Sonia snivels a bit, very unattractively, probably just pretending, to shut up the evil old hag.

Tina takes Ruby out and lets her choose where. Ruby runs upstairs to change and twists her ankle. Tina puts ice on it and Ruby asks if she is a first aider, and Tina says, no she just brought up two kids. Ruby is surprised, and Tina explains it was her brother and sister, one is 27 now, and Ruby says unthinkingly that they must be loads younger then her then. Tina says thanks, she loves it when people point that out. Ruby says she thought Tina was all glamorous. Tina says she was 16 and had to get a job because her father died. She was a waitress in a nightclub, and sang a bit of Nina Simone as well. Ruby suggests she get a job at the club, ask her Dad, has he ever heard her sing? Tina says awkwardly, possibly lying, that she doesn't think so. Ruby also asks what her mother did when her father died and Tina says she didn't cope very well, and was wrapped up in it. Ruby says her father is like that, and he now ignores her and completely refuses to talk about her mother or sister. Tina says she can imagine how Ruby feels - it was a bit like that for her, but she has her siblings and wasn't quite so alone as Ruby.

Jayne gives Dot a driving lesson and Dot worries about Jim's old car, saying people point and look at it. Jayne suggests they go out in Ian's instead as it is a common model and has plenty of scratches already. They hold up the milk float going around the square in first gear! Jayne is a good teacher and reassures Dot that everyone needs to learn, and that if she had a professional teacher, she would be as good as anyone, if she had a bad lesson before it was probably because she had a bad teacher.

Thu 21 Apr 2005

Billy is questioned by the police, and he manages not to give anything away. Pat arrives to be questioned as well - she asks Billy what it was like, and he gives her some trite advice, and she replies sarcastically thanks, she hasn't had much experience dealing with the Old Bill. The sarcasm is entirely lost on Billy. When they get home, Billy says that he was glad Phil turned to him. Pat says that he had been on the run for a year, then he goes to Billy and is caught within an hour - probably not the sort of help he wanted!

Pauline takes a day off and Ian looks for her to babysit. He finds her at the allotments, sulking that Martin didn't tell her about Chloe. Ian say he knows exactly what she means - it was the same with him and Bobby - no-one would tell him, even though they all knew. Pauline says Chloe should come home, and Ian tries to talk some sense into her. He reminds her that the child was adopted and that she can't do this, she will be setting herself up for heartache. He makes her go to the Vic for a drink with him.

Chrissie tries to find out what to arrange for St George's Day, and she decides to do a fancy dress party - English heroes and heroines. Jake suggests flirtatiously that Chrissie should be Lady Godiva. Jake mentions that Alfie will be back today. Little Mo dashes home to change and get all dressed up. She goes back and asks Jake when exactly Alfie will be back, and Jake says he just called to say it'll be another few days. She looks disappointed.

Dot tells Jim to go and get their backdated pension credit, and they have decided to get a dishwasher with the money. When Jim goes to the Post Office, he discovers that what they expected to be a few hundred pounds is actually four thousand! Jim is amazed and tells Patrick, dreaming about a plasma screen TV and satellite TV to watch racing all day. But of course he can't tell Dot, and Sonia gets suspicious at his evasive behaviour and makes him tell her. Then she makes him go to tell Dot, but she is too busy worrying about Pauline, and tells Jim to do whatever he wants with it. Then she goes home and finds a letter telling her how much it was and immediately goes to the Vic to find Jim and tell him they are spending it on a new suite.

Johnny sees Tina in the cafe and he has a cold and temperature, so she suddenly becomes solicitous and tells him to go home to bed, and then she goes to get cough medicine and makes him soup. Johnny says he isn't used to seeing her like this (domesticated) and she says that's because she never had the chance. They watch an old romantic film together, and Tina likes it, but Johnny falls asleep. She leaves the sofa and does some ironing for him. He wakes up and thanks her, with a kiss, then Ruby comes home and he pushes her out the back door. Tina is a bit miffed, to say the least. Johnny looks out of the window at her retreating back, and probably realises that he blew it for good.

Fri 22 Apr 2005

It's the day of the fancy dress party at the Vic and Old Mo wants to win the prize, so arranges with a friend "fat Elvis" to get a lot of James Bond and Bond girls costumes. Garry is looking forward to being James Bond and appearing attractive to women (that'll be a novelty for him). However, when the costumes arrive, they are Henry the 8th and his six wives, in costumes that were designed for strippers.

Meanwhile, Johnny is still trying to chase Tina, who is refusing to talk to him after his appalling behaviour of yesterday. Johnny lies to Jake that she phoned in sick for work at the club. Since the club is dead, Johnny says they will close up and go to the Vic.

Jim is sent off by Dot to buy the three piece suite and dishwasher. Jim actually buys a car instead of the suite, saying that he wants to take her to all the places they said they'd like to visit and have never been.

Danny goes as Tom Baker/Dr Who. Jake flirts with Chrissie, who is dressed as Elizabeth Taylor/Cleopatra. She refuses to serve him and Johnny as they aren't in fancy dress, so they have to leave and return later with makeshift costumes. Jake comes in a West Ham football strip and Chrissie says he will have to work harder if he wants to impress her.

Garry tries to chat up Tina, obviously unsuccessfully. Pat (dressed as Diana Dors) tells Johnny that if he can't give Tina what she wants, let her go, as it's not fair on her. However, shortly afterwards, Stacey has a word with Johnny, saying he's been ignoring Ruby, so he goes to talk to her and Tina sees her complaint about how Johnny always puts her second after Ruby proved true yet again.

Alfie wins the costume prize, topically dressed as St George, in armour and he keeps the faceplate on until Chrissie announces that he's won, and Little Mo is delighted to see him.

Mon 25 Apr 2005

Dot goes to give Jim a cup of tea in his car but she hasn't forgiven him for spending all her money on a car. However, she is slightly tempted by the prospect of travel. Yolande and Patrick also chip in extolling the virtues of the open road. Pauline tells them that a train or bus can take you anywhere a car can. Yolande points out that you have more freedom in a car. They discuss the fact that Dot can't drive.

Ruby discusses with Stacey how she will discover if Danny's smile meant he fancied her, because she really likes him. Stacey hatches a plot for her to find out, and she pretends to be sick at school so Danny will come to pick her up. When they get home, Ruby says she feels OK now (and she is all tarted up by Stacey with make up, etc). She asks Danny if she looks OK, and he says "the same as always". She says he's not very observant and asks how he likes her new top. Danny twigs and tells her she looks lovely and if an old man like him can see it, just imagine how attractive she will look to boys her own age. Danny goes to tell Johnny that she is at home and says she felt sick.

At home, she and Stacey discuss it. Ruby says he was so nice to her, it made it worse, she could tell what he was getting at and he let her down really gently, but he was so kind and considerate about it she wants him even more.

Pat and Tina discuss Johnny's refusal to let her meet or talk to Ruby, and Pat ruefully says she never found the solution in all her years as "the other woman". She goes to talk to Johnny and Jake interrupts them as they get to the conversation. He gives her brochures and offers her a holiday away from here - anywhere she wants, in an expensive hotel.

Johnny says it's not anyone's fault - not Ruby's or Tina's. She says he made he feel that she was second best, as soon as Ruby turns up she is pushed out of the door. He says he wants to make it up to her. Jake arrives and interrupts, and Johnny makes it very clear that he has put his foot in it. Tina looks at the brochures and Jake looks over her shoulder, saying no-one can afford it on the wages Johnny pays.

Johnny talks to Pat, who says he is gilding the cage and he should make up his mind and commit to her. Johnny goes back to see Tina and shouts about Pat being a cow. Tina says she was the bit on the side, and then everything has changed but she is still in the same situation. Johnny drones on about how your kids can be taken away from you in the blink of an eye. In the middle of their intense conversation, Jake walks into the office, then looks and says he's done it again hasn't he (interrupted their personal conversation) - anyway there's a supplier on the phone.

Garry and Minty ask Alfie for advice on getting women. Alfie ignores them as soon as he spots Little Mo and goes to talk to her awkwardly. Old Mo tells Alfie that Little Mo has another man (she misunderstood when Mo said she was expecting to see a bloke in the Vic, since Mo meant Alfie). They decide to go speed dating and invite Alfie, who has just asked Mo about this bloke she fancies, and if he's nice. She says he's lovely, meaning Alfie, of course, but he immediately assumes it's someone else and says he hopes she'll be very happy. When Mo comes to collect glasses, they tell her, and she says that she hopes it works out for Alfie.

In the Vic, Jim tells Patrick and Yolande that Dot won't let him drive, because she doesn't trust him with his poor eyesight and funny turns. She walks in, and Patrick and Yolande wind Dot up, saying that it's a shame that she can't share the burden of the driving, and then Patrick comments pointedly that of course women can't appreciate the internal combustion engine, and Dot is goaded into saying that she will learn to drive.

Tina tells Johnny that she has realised the problem - it's not Ruby, it's that he is terrified of having people taken away from him again, that someone else will slip out of his life. She says that she doesn't want the holiday, this is how things are going to progress. Johnny has to take her to his home, and tell Ruby that life has moved on, and she is his girlfriend.

Tue 26 Apr 2005

Pauline is sulking and makes some snide comments about Jim lying to Dot. Jim asks Dot again about taking driving lessons. He tries to put her off. Sonia goes to see Dot and asks her pointedly whether she knows why Pauline is in a bad mood. Dot goes to see Pauline to tell her to put it behind her.

In the cafe, Derek talks to Sonia and Martin about Pauline's mood and Sonia says she will go and find out what it is bothering Pauline. Derek says he wouldn't talk to her in this mood, and Martin advises against it as well. When she arrives, Dot tries to keep her apart and stop Sonia asking Pauline about it.

Tina confronts Johnny again, saying it's inevitable that Ruby will find out eventually, and she will be happy for him if she loves him as much as she herself does. Tina says it's got to be today or she will walk away for good. She says she'll be back at 3, and he can let her know then. Back at home, Pat reassures her that she has done the right thing.

Meanwhile, Ruby is crying over Danny again. Stacey says she can do better and Danny just prefers blonde bimbos like Sam Mitchell. Ruby sobs even more. Johnny arrives home and finds Stacey, and she says she was here because Ruby needed someone and he is never here. Johnny interrogates her, and Stacey says it's girl's stuff, Ruby just has a crush on a boy, but she doesn't say who.

Dot tells Pauline that she once had a driving licence and was going to ask Pete to teach her, but Charlie laughed at her and said she would be a danger on the road. Pauline says she didn't let that nasty little man put her off, did she? Dot says no, but Jim is behaving in the same way, he finds it just as amusing as Charlie did.

Alfie sees Mo in the cafe and they chat like nervous teenagers, as usual. Mo asks about his speed dating, and tells Alfie that she read about it and a tip is to wear something eye-catching [hahaha! as if Alfie needs any encouragement to wear horribly patterned, garish shirts]. Alfie asks if she heard from her bloke, and Mo says sort of. Alfie says disappointedly, oh well, good luck, maybe he will also get lucky tomorrow.

When Tina arrives at 3pm, Johnny isn't there and Jake asks if he can help. She says she'll wait. Meanwhile, at home Johnny is trying to talk to Ruby about girls he fancied in his childhood. Johnny carries on talking to Ruby even when Tina phones him up, and when Ruby asks him to stay, he does. Tina is upset and Jake asks her if she's working tonight, and she leaves the club tearfully, saying to tell Johnny she's not coming in, and he will know what she means. She goes home to tell Pat that she really thought he'd do the right thing this time, but she's leaving, because she couldn't have made it any clearer to him. Johnny eventually leaves when Ruby has gone to sleep, and just manages to catch Tina in her cab.

Thu 28 Apr 2005

Ruby is suspicious about Johnny inviting Tina around for dinner. She says he seems to be bringing a female in to talk to her about boys. She asks how long Johnny has known her. Johnny lies that he has known her for a couple of weeks. Ruby asks more, and when Johnny refuses to disclose anything, she smugly says fine, she will ask the lady when she gets here.

Garry, Minty and Alfie meet to plan their speed dating strategy. (Minty's involves changing his underpants many times before he goes out!) Garry goes on about how to tell whether she fancies you, with body language, hair, and the mirror principle. Alfie ignores them all and is uninterested. They arrive and are briefed how it works. Garry's chat up line is, when she asks who's his ideal woman, he replies "you, if you play your cards right". His next line with an older woman is that he prefers older women because they are more grateful.

Minty starts with "hello gorgeous", and she says "hello... (reading badge) Minty".

Alfie gets a woman who asks if he likes animals, and says cooking is her passion, as well as animals, .... and casual sex. Alfie says a few words in the entire three minutes.

Johnny lets Tina in and briefs her on the lie (couple of weeks). Ruby remembers her from the taxi that nearly ran her over when she first arrived. Johnny offers Tina a drink and goes to get it, but Ruby says "aren't you going to ask her what she wants?" Johnny remember he's supposed to hardly know her, and Tina smiles and says white wine. Tina asks Ruby how she is settling in, and Ruby asks when she moved in, and notes it's the same time they did. Johnny brings the food in and tries to stop them talking about too much detail about living arrangements. They talk about music and Ruby goes on about his awful music taste, and says he sits there and cries over the old records. Johnny is embarrassed. When Johnny and Ruby go to wash up Ruby says he isn't telling her the whole truth and she is obviously his girlfriend. She asks if Tina has ever been married, and Johnny says no, and Ruby thinks that's a bit strange, considering how old she is. Johnny apologises for lying and says no-one would take the place of her mother, and Ruby says it's OK if he has a girlfriend, it was bound to happen eventually.

Tina comes in and they stop talking, and then Johnny says it's OK, he has told Ruby that they are seeing each other. Ruby says it would have been better if he'd told her before Tina arrived, and Tina agrees. When Ruby brings coffee, she takes the pot and says "shall I be mother?" then realises that this might upset Ruby and apologises profusely. Tina says she will go, although Ruby says it is OK. Johnny walks Tina home and says they need to give Ruby time to adjust to their relationship, and says they must not rush things. He refuses her invitation to come in to hers.

The speed dating finishes, and the cards are checked for matches (everyone ticks people they would like to see again). Garry and Minty only get one tick each, and Garry can't believe his appalling record. Alfie gets lots of ticks but hasn't ticked anyone. Alfie says none of them were his type. Garry says the bird who organised it must have rubbed his out because she wants him for herself.

In the square, Johnny is wandering and Alfie sees him and goes over to chat, asking what he's doing, and says actually, don't tell me, his Nan always says if you see a man fretting, it's about sex or money. Johnny smiles and says he pays someone to look after his money. Alfie invites him for a drink, and Johnny says another time, but thanks. He goes home to Ruby and asks what she thinks. Ruby says it was a bit awkward, and Johnny says it will get better when she knows her. Ruby says for him too, since he's only known her a couple of weeks too. Johnny looks shifty and says err yes.

Fri 29 Apr 2005

[Possibly the most boring episode of EE I have ever endured, and I fell asleep twice (and this was only at 9pm), and had to wake up and rewind.]

Pauline is looking miserable as usual - she makes lunch for Sonia and Martin - sandwiches, as the launderette is quiet. Martin and Sonia get home with fish and chips, obviously surprised that Pauline is not at work. Pauline makes a snotty comment that Sonia could have told her. Sonia twigs and asks who told her? Pauline whines on and on about the little girl, and how they shut her out. Sonia is sarcastic and bitter about Pauline's "caring" about it and says Pauline won't let Martin do anything without her permission, and all she cares about is being in control of everything. Sonia asks if Pauline realises what it is like living in a house where you can't even move the fruit bowl because there will be an "atmosphere" in the house! Pauline sends Martin off to work, and goes on and on about Sonia's selfish pursuit of a career and her neglect of her motherly duties. Pauline goes on about how hard a job it is and how she hated the restrictions of motherhood, and she looked forward to kids going to the dentist so she could have five minutes to herself. After a long, monotonous and utterly tedious discussion about the boredom of motherhood, which is enough to make any woman of child-bearing age rush to the doctor to get herself sterilised, Pauline suddenly tells Sonia she now wants to see her grandchild. Sonia tells Pauline that she is only going on about it because she never had anything in her life except her kids, and now they have gone she feels useless. Martin goes to the Vic and downs a pint in one then broods for a while. Meanwhile Sonia is very angrily replying to Pauline, and she says sarcastically that obviously it all went wrong, and *obviously* she made a hash of it just to hack Pauline off, and guess what, when she finds herself in a tricky situation, she just thinks 'oh what would my mother-in-law do' then she does the exact opposite! Pauline is a bit taken aback by the vehemence of Sonia's reply and when Sonia leaves, she looks a bit upset.

Minty and Garry chat about dating generally, and specifically, Minty has a self help book. They start with a wrestling contest and some weights to get themselves in shape. They waffle on about blokes and birds and how it was so easy 60 years ago (yawn). They do some quizzes about listening to women, emotional honesty, blah blah. Garry brings up some stupid illogical examples about a few stupid chav scum women he has known who appear to be incapable of honest thought or speech. After what seems like hours of moronic reading out of complete rubbish, Garry discovers that the book was written by a yank, and he immediately dismisses it, saying that women in Walford are a few years behind, so it's all rubbish.

Alfie goes to the Vic and sees Little Mo, and they both look at each other. They chat away and Mo asks about the speed dating. After a few minutes of waffling, Mo specifically asks Alfie if he found anyone. He says no. He goes on about how Old Mo told him all about her and how she is clearly besotted with the bloke she met at Lynne's. Mo finally tells him that there was no bloke at Lynne's. Alfie suddenly brightens up and they smile at each other like teenagers again.

Stacey and Ruby discuss old people having sex - and how scary the thought is of anyone over 30 doing it! They chatter on about Tina as they go about the square, with the vile Stacey stealing anything that isn't nailed down on the way, including the drink of a bloke who has turned his back for a second while he unlocked his bike! When Stacey steals fruit from Martin, he is in a foul mood already, so he shouts furiously at them. Tina arrives and suggests that they can sort it out if Stacey pays, and Stacey says she has no money, so Tina offers to pay for the stolen apples. Ruby looks at her gratefully. Stacey says Martin is a nutter. He shouts at her to get out of his face and then turns and politely thanks Tina for the payment.

Mon 2 May 2005

Johnny goes to collect Tina in the morning and says they can take a stroll together, so people can see. Tina comments that everyone is looking and Johnny says that is the point, and kisses her. Johnny even clarifies the situation to Jake and Danny. Tina is scheduled to meet Ruby later and spend the day. She is nervous, and at home, Ruby is too, and asks Stacey what she can talk about all day. Stacey arranges to phone at 11:30 to pretend to be a bloke, so Ruby can escape. Stacey goes to the cafe and tells Jake, Danny, Garry and Minty the whole story about Tina and Ruby and the plan.

The scum family have a dull breakfast and Keith tells a moronic joke about "aardvark (hard work) never killed anyone". Darren says sarcastically oh yea, he'd know about that. Keith moans that he hasn't got a clean shirt and Rosie asks sarcastically what does he think he can do about that? Keith's first suggestion is the wear a dirty one. Eventually he goes to the launderette and can't read the instructions so tells Pauline he forgot his reading glasses. He finds a letter from the school in one of the children's pockets.

Martin goes off on a pre-planned stag do, and apologises to Sonia for leaving her alone with Pauline. Derek asks Ian to have a word with Pauline about the family mystery that appears to be more intractable than the Da Vinci code. Ian goes to see Pauline in the launderette and asks what the problem is. Pauline snaps at him and he leaves crossly. Ian goes back to moan at Jayne that if he has to listen to Pauline says one more time "your father would be ashamed of you..." After work, he goes round there again to ask Pauline about it. Pauline goes on about how much she cares about Rebecca. Ian is sympathetic and Pauline says his dad would be proud of him. Pauline tells him that the grandmother won't talk to Sonia, and Ian says what if he spoke to her and asked if Pauline could see her?

Mickey gets an old computer that was being thrown away, and Darren is sceptical but is then thrilled to play with it. They find a program that speaks words you type in, and Keith uses it to read the letter, which asks him to call the school ASAP about Darren's poor concentration. He confronts Darren about the letter, and says look at him - and what happens if you don't pay attention at school.

Jim polishes his car and Patrick and he discuss feminism, and Patrick blames it on Germaine Greer making women think they are men's equals.

Sonia goes to whinge at Dot for telling Pauline. Dot apologises then goes to tell Pauline off. Sonia stays at Dot's to avoid Pauline. She suggests that Jim teach Dot to drive, as the driving lessons are so expensive.

Jake and Danny tell Johnny about Stacey's plan and Johnny says Ruby was looking forward to going out with Tina, why would she do that? He sees Stacey and talks to her in the Vic, and distracting her, he takes her mobile phone and she can't call Ruby.

Tue 3 May 2005

Sonia stays at Dot's for another night, and Dot says she will have to face Pauline some time. Dot tells Jim she needs a cigarette before her driving lesson, and Jim is a bit sarcastic about it. He sets up a pretend car in the living room because Dot is so nervous. Dot says it's silly and he is just doing it before he gives her proper lessons. After two minutes, Dot says she has had enough and goes out and gets into the car. She crashes the gears on her first attempt. He says go careful, it's hard to find new gearboxes for the old car. They have a rather bumpy ride and eventually the car stalls. Jim accuses Dot of breaking it, and then Derek looks in the car window and notes it's run out of petrol. Patrick, Derek and Jim push the car home.

When Dot goes inside, Patrick, Derek and Jim laugh and says it was a great trick. Later in the Vic, while they are still giggling, Dot comes in and tells Derek that he can teach her to drive instead.

Ian discusses Pauline's problem with Jayne, who thinks it is a bad idea for him to interfere. Ian checks old newspapers for the story about the accident, and Jayne catches him, and he says quickly he is doing some recycling. Jayne leaves suspiciously, and when she comes back and finds Ian looking in the yellow pages for the church, she shouts at him that he is treating her like an idiot and lying to her, and she won't stand for it. After asking the newspaper and church, Pauline says there is one way to get the address - search Sonia's room. Ian suspiciously asks her if she has done it already. She says no, and they go to look in her room and find a box of personal items. Sonia comes into the kitchen as they are looking, and Pauline rushes out to stall her. Sonia finds it awkward, and she says she will come back later. Ian finds the address and Pauline wants to go round there straight away. Ian says she had better not, and he will try to talk to her first as Pauline isn't very diplomatic.

When he goes back to the cafe, Jayne asks why he is doing it, and he says he agrees with Pauline - when it comes to family there is nothing you won't do for your children. They argue a bit. Ian says Pauline has always been there for him, even when she disagreed with him, she'd be there with a cup of tea, and he always felt she was on his side. He goes off to talk to the grandmother, and Jayne says she will come with him, even though she doesn't agree with him, she's on his side. The woman says there is no way that she will let the family see Rebecca. She says Sonia sold her a pack of lies for ages, and pretended to be a friend of her dead daughter, so she won't let them come and take Rebecca away from her. She is a bit hysterical, and Jayne quickly tells Ian to leave and talks to Margaret alone. Jayne says that she knows what it is like to lose someone before their time, and she suggests that Rebecca could have more people to love her now she has lost her parents - and Pauline would be able to do that. She agrees to let Pauline see the child.

Keith meets Darren's teacher, who says that his unreliable attendance is a bit of a problem, but the main problem is that his literacy is poor. Keith looks embarrassed. She offers some after-school tutoring, and suggests that some changes at home would help - if they read together as a family! Keith gets rid of her quickly.

Darren comes home and says is that all - he has been told all that before. He says that Keith can't read and he gets on all right, it doesn't matter. Keith sits him down and tells him to read a book. Darren reads very slowly and can't even read easy words like "looking" and "stroked". After one sentence, he stops and says he won't carry on, and Keith is the stupid one, he can't even read the cover of the book. Later, Keith apologises, and says his teacher made him read aloud once at school, and he couldn't. He wants Darren to get more than he did out of life.

Thu 5 May 2005

Dot has a fraught driving lesson with Derek, as she starts complaining about a man doing deliveries, saying crossly that there are bye-laws about doing this. The (quite large) man gets out of his cab, and Derek rushes out to apologise. He is totally stressed out and eventually snaps at Dot. They get out and Dot asks if they can do it again, and Derek says he thinks that wouldn't be a good idea. Dot goes to the cafe and is very upset. Jayne is helpful and very kind. Dot says even Derek told her off, he moaned at her not to shout at the truck driver. Jayne laughs and says good for her, more women should do it - she was taught by a woman instructor, who said that men are often aggressive to women drivers. Dot asks her to give her a lesson, and Jayne agrees.

Ian gives Pauline the phone number but she is hesitant to call. When she does, she arranges to visit the same day. The meeting is satisfactory, and Margaret lets Pauline give her a bear and go to see Rebecca's dolls house. She manages to get the kid to ask her to stay longer, which doesn't please Margaret. Pauline says she doesn't know when she might visit again.

Garry and Minty arrange a double date. Minty is nervous, saying he has never met a bird in daylight before. Garry can't remember what his is like, and she comes in and is quite attractive (enough for Garry), and says her friend is paying the cab. Minty goes to find her, and she is a loud, fat ugly woman who is always cackling loudly. The date goes well for Garry, but Minty says he has to go, making an excuse. Garry tries to persuade him to stay, because he is on a promise with his woman, but Minty says no way.

When Ian takes Pauline home, she says she has to see Rebecca again, she will buy Sonia a nice birthday present and try to talk her round.

Fri 6 May 2005

Pauline gives Sonia a birthday present - an expensive suede jacket and also an apology about her recent over-reacting behaviour. They clean out the kitchen cupboards and Pauline says it will give them chance to chat. She tells Sonia she went to see Chloe. Sonia is furious about Pauline rifling through her room to find the address, and says she is an evil old cow and petulantly returns the birthday present, calling it a bribe. They whitter on boringly for ages repeating the same tedious old rubbish about the adoption, sniping at each other and Sonia snivels a bit, very unattractively, probably just pretending, to shut up the evil old hag.

Tina takes Ruby out and lets her choose where. Ruby runs upstairs to change and twists her ankle. Tina puts ice on it and Ruby asks if she is a first aider, and Tina says, no she just brought up two kids. Ruby is surprised, and Tina explains it was her brother and sister, one is 27 now, and Ruby says unthinkingly that they must be loads younger then her then. Tina says thanks, she loves it when people point that out. Ruby says she thought Tina was all glamorous. Tina says she was 16 and had to get a job because her father died. She was a waitress in a nightclub, and sang a bit of Nina Simone as well. Ruby suggests she get a job at the club, ask her Dad, has he ever heard her sing? Tina says awkwardly, possibly lying, that she doesn't think so. Ruby also asks what her mother did when her father died and Tina says she didn't cope very well, and was wrapped up in it. Ruby says her father is like that, and he now ignores her and completely refuses to talk about her mother or sister. Tina says she can imagine how Ruby feels - it was a bit like that for her, but she has her siblings and wasn't quite so alone as Ruby.

Jayne gives Dot a driving lesson and Dot worries about Jim's old car, saying people point and look at it. Jayne suggests they go out in Ian's instead as it is a common model and has plenty of scratches already. They hold up the milk float going around the square in first gear! Jayne is a good teacher and reassures Dot that everyone needs to learn, and that if she had a professional teacher, she would be as good as anyone, if she had a bad lesson before it was probably because she had a bad teacher.

Mon 9 May 2005

Pauline, Sonia and Martin are still arguing about Chloe/Rebecca, and Pauline lies to Sonia, inventing things Martin has told her. Sonia argues with Martin, who says Pauline is lying and he goes to tell Pauline to leave them alone.

Johnny tells Ruby they are going out tonight, and Ruby is clearly disappointed when he continues "so here's some money for you to get a takeaway". Later, Tina tells Johnny he should invite Ruby too, and Ruby is delighted.

Alfie tells Nana there is a girl he really likes, and he doesn't know what to do. Nana suggests he sing to her (!). He is busy asking Mo what is her favourite song when Danny arrives and asks her out on a date. Alfie is slightly perturbed and later he warns Danny to treat her with respect. Little Mo tells Zoe that she doesn't want to go and gets Zoe to tell Danny. Alfie is pleased to hear this.

In the cafe, Nana and Alfie discuss this woman that Alfie fancies, and Jayne chats to Alfie, and Nana asks him if she is the one he likes. Alfie says no, it's not her. He leaves and Nana tells Jayne that Alfie loves her. Jayne is, not surprisingly, horrified, and when Little Mo comes in later, she asks Mo to tell Alfie she isn't interested. Mo is upset and says she thinks Jayne should tell him herself. Jayne does, and Alfie explains it was a huge misunderstanding on Nana's part. They laugh about it, and Jayne mentions she told Mo. Alfie goes round to see Little Mo to disabuse her of the idea that he fancies Jayne. He finally tells Mo in a roundabout way that he fancies her and she says agrees with him.

Tue 10 May 2005

Johnny and Tina reminisce over a photo of them looking tanned and happy, taken on a foreign holiday they had a long time ago.

Meanwhile, Ruby and Stacey chat and Stacey tells Ruby that Tina is only being nice to her for now, them her father and Tina will start ignoring her.

When Ruby goes to the club, Tina offers to take her shopping, saying she needs more shoes, and Ruby replies that sounds like her mother, she had loads of shoes, then she suddenly looks at Johnny and shuts up and makes excuses not to go with Tina. When Tina goes to the shop, she asks if she thinks Ruby is happy, after her mother and sister, you know, and Stacey tells Tina that she will look after Ruby, and she doesn't need Tina to look after her.

Ruby talks to Tina in the cafe and tells her that she talked to her in confidence and she shouldn't have talked to Stacey about her.

Mo and Alfie are independently embarrassed when people talk to them about each other. Alfie goes to the Vic and they sneak a private moment, and both agree that they won't tell anyone about this, as it's too complicated.

Minty finds Sam's flat open and he goes in shouting to Sam, thinking she is back early and finds it vandalised. Chrissie passes and asks what's happening, and Minty explains, and asks for help tidying up, then says worriedly that his fingerprints are all over the place. (Hmm wonder what else they will find.. - that old dog doorstop, and whose fingerprints are on that.)

Rosie gives Keith a leaflet for literacy classes and he makes excuses about going, but since it's so close, and he has nothing better to do, he has no excuse. He starts to go but then makes a nervous detour in the cafe, and Rosie finds him and he lies that he hasn't managed to get there yet. When he gets there, Derek is on reception and Keith is to embarrassed to say what class it is. He follows someone else, saying that is his class. Derek says is he sure? Keith rushes in to "women's life drawing" and the tutor tells him to get undressed, as he is late! Then the real model turns up and Keith is quickly dismissed. He tells Derek, as he passes, that it was the wrong class and he has changed his mind. He admits that he couldn't do it to Darren and says that it's embarrassing that he would have preferred to strip in front of all the women than admit his real problem.

Dot has her first real driving lesson with a lady called Evelyn. Jim makes a joke about women drivers not being able to find the ignition. When she is late, he says she must have crashed on the way. When Dot answers the door, it's a man (well sort of, it's the transvestite bloke from It Ain't Half Hot, - obviously I remember this from when I was a very small child). He takes ages telling her, in a rather camp fashion, what to do before they drive off, and Patrick goes in to see Jim and teasingly tells him to watch out leaving his wife with another man. He goes out and raps on the window to tell them he wants to see the man's hands at all times!

Tina gets ready for the night out, but her new shoes break, and she rushes out quickly to change them, while Pat is watching TV. Ruby arrives with a gift for Tina to apologise, and Pat sends her up to her room, not realising she isn't there. Stacey and Ruby take the opportunity to snoop around. Ruby sees the photo of Johnny and Tina on holiday - clearly years ago. Stacey immediately says they must be lying about when they met.

Thu 12 May 2005

Ruby and Stacey discuss it, and decide that it's clearly taken in the summer, and Ruby says her mother only died in March. Stacey says that abroad it may be sunny, so perhaps it was last winter.

Johnny tells Tina the table is booked for nine, and she suggests that she come and cook Sunday dinner for him and Ruby. Johnny says her mother cooked Sunday dinners, and it's too soon.

Tina arrives home and is worried when Pat tells her they went upstairs to her room. Ruby comes back a few minutes later. Tina asks if they went into her room, and Ruby says no. Tina says she wants to tidy up first, and she hides all the photos of Johnny. Ruby brings a cactus and says it's to say sorry for being prickly, a joke see? Ruby asks Tina to talk, saying her mother has only been dead for a year and she and her father have only been together for what - three weeks? Tina says err yes. Ruby asks Tina if she ever married, and she says she did but then she found her fiance with her bridesmaid. Ruby asks how she met Johnny, and pries saying that she seems to get on really well with her father and he is hard to get to know. Tina says she is serious about Johnny. Ruby asks if she is going to get married. Ruby asks Tina exactly how long she has been going out with Johnny, and admits she did come in here and saw the photo. She asks when exactly the photo was taken, saying she wasn't around since her mother died, and she was sent away for a year, and meanwhile Johnny went on holiday to Barbados with Tina. Ruby says tearfully that Johnny doesn't love her, he sent her away. Tina is really sorry and says Johnny was very upset about the funeral, that's why he couldn't talk to her. She say she told Johnny not to send Ruby away. Ruby picks up on this, saying that how could Tina have said that, Johnny must have been with her. Ruby says Tina is hiding something from her, and she grabs the box where Tina had put the photo. There are hundreds of photos and Ruby asks how long she has really been going out with Johnny, and Tina says ten years. Ruby runs out in tears and says she's a liar and she will tell her father and he will never want to see her again.

Pauline badgers Sonia about visiting Chloe again this weekend. Sonia whines that she feels under pressure and refuses to talk. Martin starts talking about the stall and Pauline interrupts and tells them that children change every day, and they are ignoring it, so she wants to get things moving. Martin talks to Pauline, telling her to stop going on. Pauline says they could visit and get return visits, so get Chloe to come here, and read her a bedtime story. Pauline whines and Sonia bursts into the kitchen, saying she can hear all that, and her daughter is not to be used by Pauline to make up for the fact that her daughter lives miles away. Pauline retorts that she sorted out Sonia's mess, and she should be grateful. They all shout at each other and Martin and Sonia decide to move out of the house and stay at Dot's.

Chrissie brings a TV over and Minty gets a locksmith. Minty is worried and says Sam will be gutted to see she has lost everything. They chat a bit and Minty says he's surprised Den left everything for another woman, wherever he is he will be kicking himself now. Chrissie says she doesn't think so! She says she is getting on with her life. When Minty is upstairs, Chrissie finds the iron dog doorstop under the sink, and she sends Minty away, saying she will finish up here, and she hides the doorstop. She calls Zoe and asks her to come over. She angrily smashes the TV.

Fri 13 May 2005

Zoe brings some plates around to help Chrissie, who makes an excuse about the smashed TV. Chrissie asks Zoe if there is anything missing, anything she may have forgotten to replace. She makes Zoe put something away under the sink to see if she knows. Zoe clearly had no idea. When Zoe leaves, Chrissie washes the blood off the iron dog and takes it back to Pauline's. She goes back to the cellar of the Vic and tells the floor he would be so proud of how she is sorting everything out, the irony of it is the only one who could appreciate how well she is handling it all is him.

Martin and Sonia arrive at Dot's saying they have walked out of Pauline's house, they couldn't stay. Dot and Jim offer them a place to stay. Dot goes round to talk to Pauline, saying she wants to avert a war, but Pauline is sharp and Dot returns home. Jim says it may not be a war, but they'd better dig in for a long siege, Stalingrad will have nothing on this!

Ruby confronts Johnny with the evidence that he and Tina have been dating for longer than they said, and then that Tina said they were dating for 10 years, which is while her mother was alive. Ruby says Tina is an evil lying spiteful cow, and Johnny says no, she isn't. Ruby says Johnny tricked her mother, and had a mistress all the time. Johnny says her mother knew and understood it, and Ruby is a child who doesn't understand. Ruby says she isn't a child, her sister talked about sex all the time, and she calls Tina a cheap slut. She says she bets Johnny was happy that Mum died, because then he could be with Tina. Johnny is angry and Ruby apologies. Ruby wants to talk about her mother and Scarlet, and Johnny insists that they shouldn't talk about them. Ruby says she needs to make sense of it, why someone hated them so much they set fire to their house while they were locked inside.

Meanwhile Tina cries with Pat, saying that she has ruined everything, and Pat says that kids usually prefer the truth to a pack of lies. Tina goes to her room and packs, saying that they won't want her hanging around in their faces. Pat says she is making a mistake, but Tina walks out.

Ruby says that people talked after the fire - they don't notice her, and they said that it was a business rival. She asks what business he is in that make people hate him and someone got away with murder. She says she's scared - the murderers are out there, and may come back for her, they are out there, and the police never caught them. She wants justice and she wants them to suffer. Johnny says there are other sorts of justice, and those people are scum, and they did suffer. Ruby gets hysterical with the fear of the fire and being trapped, and says she can't stop thinking about it. She sobs hysterically and grabs Johnny, who disentangles himself and hands her a handkerchief at arms length. Ruby says she is sorry for not being Scarlet - he wouldn't have sent her away. Ruby says he won't even give her a hug, but he always loved Scarlet the most - when Johnny came to get them, he went to her room first - he came to get Scarlet, not Ruby. He never asked why they had swapped rooms that night. Ruby explains why - it was because Scarlet went out with her boyfriend, and they swapped rooms in case he checked her room. Ruby says she was the one he saved but she wasn't the one he wanted. She says that when he rescued her in the blanket, he kept saying "it's OK Scarlet" and when he pulled the blanket back, he was so disappointed and he walked away. She says that she only irritates him, is she someone else's kid, not his? Johnny says no. Ruby says, so is it just that he hates her? She says all she wants is him to tell her that he doesn't wish she was Scarlet, and he isn't disappointed that she is alive. She adds that she wishes she hadn't swapped and that she was dead with her mother and runs out of the house, where Stacey is still waiting for her. Ruby is amazed that she waited for her, and she gives Ruby a hug.

Mon 16 May 2005

Pauline and Derek discuss her problem, and don't reach any conclusion.

Johnny asks Pat about Tina, and is told she has left. Ruby asks Johnny if Tina is coming over later, and he says she's gone away for a bit and he will talk to her. He tells her about her birth - Scarlet had meningitis so they sent the pregnant mother away and then while he was on the phone talking to the hospital as she was being born, Scarlet almost died. Then, when they got home, a few days or weeks later, the baby Ruby appeared to hate him.

Alfie gets a lot of crappy old films and suggests to Little Mo that they have an evening in at his place. She isn't keen, saying Jake and Danny will be suspicious. Alfie says he has "It's a Wonderful Life" which is one of his favourite films, and Mo says she's never seen it (unsurprisingly, as apparently it's some old black and white rubbish), and adds that it was Billy's favourite too (so I imagine it's about some tedious losers who miraculously achieve some American equivalent of winning the FA cup). When Alfie tries the DVD, it doesn't work, and Alfie decides to tell the story instead.

Tue 17 May 2005

Mickey tells Keith to go home, after Keith suggests that the forge hallmarks on the "gold" jewellery. Later he tells Demi that he can't afford to keep him on. He asks Rosie to tell Keith.

Ruby tells Johnny he could have invited Tina over now everything is out in the open. She asks if she can cook for Tina some time. She also asks whether he and her mother argued a lot. Johnny gets fed up and says he has dumped her. Ruby asks what Tina thinks of that, and he says he hasn't told Tina, he's just decided that he needs more time with Ruby. They also discuss school and he tells her that her mother wanted her to go to the boarding school, and they were very proud of her going there.

Meanwhile, Tina is packing and tells Billy she is leaving Pat's. He guesses she is moving in with Johnny, and she says it's the opposite, they split up. Billy says he can't believe it, they seemed so well suited. Then she drops her box of photos and some smash, and she bursts into tears and Billy puts his arm around her. She gets her stuff all packed, and Billy tells her that Johnny must be mad letting her go, and the kettle will be on if she is passing.

Mo arranges to meet Alfie in secret and asks Old Mo to babysit, but she's horribly inquisitive. Little Mo refuses to tell her, saying she is just going shopping. Old Mo reckons she's going to see her fancy man. Stacey quietly tells Little Mo that Old Mo is planning to follow her. So, Alfie makes a fake phone call to keep Old Mo occupied while Little Mo sneaks out and Stacey keeps lookout. Mo meets Alfie in the curry house, and she is nervous about being spotted. Then a stag party come in and get rowdy. Mo is jumpy and asks to go home. Billy comes in looking for Ruby and sees Alfie, fortunately while Mo is in the toilet.

Dot has another driving lesson and even invites the instructor in for tea and Sonia gives him Jim's piece of cake.

Ruby and Stacey meet up and Ruby tells her all the news. Johnny goes round to Stacey's and she denies that Ruby is there so he asks Billy to help him search for Ruby. Billy says oh, he thought Johnny meant about Tina. Johnny sees Pat, who asks about Tina, and he tells her that he told Tina not to get too close so it serves her right, now Ruby has run off too. Pat goes with Johnny, and says she knows why Ruby ran off. Johnny says in irritation, Pat might as well have this conversation all by herself, he needn't be here. When he mentions he told Ruby he split with Tina, Pat tells him that is another thing for Ruby to blame herself for. When he gets home, Ruby comes in and tells him that she was surprised he split with Tina, and it was stupid of him - he doesn't have to give Tina up just to make her happy. She also says she wants to go back to boarding school.

Ruby visits Pat's and Billy tells her Tina has gone. Ruby says she has to see her to get them back together.

Alfie walks Mo home and they say they just bumped into each other shopping. Old Mo tells Alfie that Mo went out to see her fancy man, and she will find out who he is. Alfie and Mo smirk.

Thu 19 May 2005

Pat asks Johnny about Ruby and he says she's going back to boarding school today, and Pat says he will miss her. Johnny replies "like a hole in the head". Stacey overhears and says she will ask Ruby whether she really wants to or Johnny is forcing her.

Derek is at Dot's, and Pauline answers the phone and tells the caller she he doesn't live here any more, but she knows where he is. Pauline goes to tell Dot that she is sticking her nose in and has taken away all her family and friends. She says she has a message for Derek - his son is looking for him. Derek says he's not against her just because he disagrees with her point of view.

Ruby pesters Billy to find Tina. She goes home and looks for clues for Tina's number. Johnny finds her and says he can't forgive Tina for doing the one thing he told her not to. Ruby says it's better like this than living a lie. She says Tina gave up everything to tell her the truth. Ruby finally gives in and then asks Johnny to go for lunch, but he can't leave the club because Billy has gone off somewhere. Ruby is surprised and realises that her begging had a result - in fact Billy does find Tina and persuades her to return because Ruby really wants to see her before she goes to boarding school.

Dot has another disastrous driving lesson and she is still hopeless. The instructor is incredibly, in fact superhumanly, patient when she stalls for the millionth time. He quotes the bible to her and she replies with the chapter/verse number. She is delighted to talk to him, and even ends up calling him by his first name, as he continually asks her to.

Dot goes back and talks to Pauline, about poor Derek, and how Pauline turfed him out of his home because he spoke his mind. Meanwhile, Derek sees his son and gets an offer of a place to stay. He tells Martin to make it up with Pauline because she is alone. Martin thanks him for his help when Mark died. He tells Pauline, and advises her not to risk losing any more of her family.

The vile Keith decides to choose godparents for Demi's baby who can afford to pay for the christening party, so puts Chrissie and Johnny down first, and everyone who has any money in the square. Demi is annoyed, saying she doesn't know them. She runs off and Pauline offers her tea and sympathy. Demi whines to Pauline, saying "I bet that you never made decisions for your kids" (!). Pauline says sometimes you have to compromise in families, and sometimes you have to decide what you won't compromise on. Demi asks Pauline to be godmother, since she was the one who took her to hospital when she went into labour.

Demi goes home and tells her parents she asked Pauline, and they are horrified. Then she asks Mickey to be godfather and they are doubly horrified that there is no money to be made out of the godparents (Keith is such a revolting money-grabber). A rat runs past in the scum family's filthy kitchen and Rosie shrieks that rats eat babies.

Ruby sees Tina and thanks her saying that because of her, she talked to her father for the first time about the fire and Scarlet. She also says that Tina must have made her father happy, but he said it was over between him and Tina. Tina agrees but is happy that Ruby and Johnny are OK with each other. She leaves and bumps into Pat, and while they talk, she says it was bad enough playing second fiddle when his wife was alive. Pat is amazed that she is dead, and says it's all different now, and she can be with Johnny. She tells Tina about how she fell for Frank when she was 16, and eventually married him many years later, and despite all her husbands, she will always feel like Pat Butcher.

Tina decides to go and see Johnny, and he is annoyed and shouts at Ruby asking if it's her doing? Tina steps in and says it was her decision, and Ruby goes off saying they have a lot to talk about. Johnny goes after her and thanks her.

Fri 20 May 2005

Dot gives Pauline a photo of her and Arthur, as it's the anniversary of his death. Pauline is still sulky. Derek calls and Pauline says Martin and Sonia are still at Dot's, but not for much longer.

Garry finds an old "lucky shirt" to wear to a double date with Minty. Stacey says it's the shirt that time forgot, and advises Garry to take some biscuits for the girls' guide dogs. Minty and Garry argue about where to go - Minty wants curry and Garry Italian, but decide that's a bit off putting and wonder about films or going to the dogs. They can't decide.

Mo tells Alfie that life is all about "signs" - as in omens about whether something you are doing is a good thing or not. She infers from some ancient "wonderful life" film that if something works out easily, then it is the correct course of action. She reminds Alfie their last date was a disaster and the fates are trying to tell them something. Alfie says you make your own luck. Garry interrupts and asks Alfie for an idea about dates. Hearing about the dates, Alfie asks Garry and Minty if he can use their flat for a couple of hours this evening.

Alfie tells Mo that they can try another date, and if they manage to pull it off, that will be a sign too.

However, Minty's date calls it off so to rescue his own date with Mo, Alfie finds another date for him. Then he casually says he doesn't know what to cook for a girl and asks Garry what the Slaters liked, Mo for example. Garry says he thinks shepherd's pie was Little Mo's favourite, so he makes that (in a microwave which pings just as Mo arrives).

Alfie arranges with Minty that he will wear a piece of heather so she can identify him, but then Mickey and Jim tease him and Jim takes the sprig and puts it in his own buttonhole, for a few seconds, but exactly at the moment Minty's blind date walks in, and she walks straight out in horror.

Garry's date says she thought her date was with Minty and walks out too, as Garry doesn't let on that Minty is available, so after Minty has waited ages for Alfie's mate to turn up, they both go home. Alfie hides Little Mo and sneaks the Arches keys from Garry's table, so they go there. Mo thinks it's all too much hard work and must be wrong. Alfie says so is this wrong - and kisses her, and she says no, and kisses him back.

Pauline sees Martin at Arthur's grave and she tells him that she is moving out so that he and Sonia can move in. Martin tells Sonia who sees Pauline packing and says she is only trying to make them feel guilty. Pauline says she is going to see her Aunty Betty (since Pauline is 65, her aunt must be about 90!) for a few days to give them all time to think. Pauline leaves in a cab, saying as a last thing, don't move the fruit bowl. Pauline takes the cab round the corner then tells the driver to stop. She returns saying that Betty phoned and has had an accident, and she is now back. Martin and Sonia realise they have been conned. Pauline takes the dog for a walk and tells Dot that she is back, and hopefully, Chloe will be back there too.

Mon 23 May 2005

The scum family have to leave now that their house is rat-infested. They return to the shabby council estate whence they came, sadly not for good. Obviously, it's close to the teenager who knocked up Demi, Leo, (played by some kid who has had his brain removed, or at least the "how to act" part of it). They move into Uncle Clint's and Leo's family soon notice and warn them off. The two teenagers meet and make a Romeo & Juliet discovery, it's the families who kept them apart, etc. She invites him to the Christening tomorrow. It's a toss up between that and going skateboarding. (Clearly he's cut out for paternal responsibilities!) Then the families discover the clandestine meetings, and it's chav fight time. I suspect we'll see a lot more of this while they live practically next door.

The Slaters find rats in their house too, and Zoe's cat seems useless. They decide it's not safe for Freddie to stay, so pack him off to Billy's. The baby cries, so Billy takes it to the doctor's - again! Doesn't he ever learn - or are the scriptwriters so lazy they are repeating the last time he looked after the brat?

Alfie flirts with Mo, and buys her a gift - well just takes it off his stall, really. Alfie offers Mo a place to stay while they have the rats as an excuse. He even shows how serious he is by taking off his wedding ring.

Meanwhile, while we're talking about her, Kat is revealed, in prison, shouting coarsely at some other inmate. Old Mo is visiting her dodgy mate and is surprised to see her.

[A repulsive episode all round, really. When is Dennis back?] Tue 24 May 2005

Little Mo tells Alfie that the council won't be there until tomorrow, and she doesn't want to go home with rats there (any excuse to hang around him).

It's the Miller's christening day and they all look absolutely horrendous. Mickey looks like a clown. They leave for church in the old ice cream van. Pauline Fowler turns up snobbishly, presumably amazed to find some family that is comprises more cheap and nasty chav scum than she.

During the christening, Leo and his family turn up. Keith makes a scene but Demi is pleased. Leo joins in the religious parts, where they denounce satan and all his little wizards, or whatever. Then Leo's father arrives and tells his son to leave the little tart alone and get away from this trash. Demi runs out after Leo.

They go home to the christening party, and find the flea-bitten dog (Ghengis) has overturned the food plates, trashed the whole flat, and eaten some of the food (well makes a change from the rats). Keith decides to make up a christening of his own, with tap water instead of holy water. After a stupid little farce, Demi goes outside and gets a text from Leo saying he loves her.

Old Mo returns to the prison and is told Kat was released this morning. She goes back to their house and catches Alfie and Little Mo, clearly having an intimate moment, but they stop just before she opens the door. Mo says she doesn't want to take off her wedding ring, as Billy is still around, and she needs to talk to Billy. Alfie says he has taken off his ring and Kat is in his past but agrees when she says she needs to talk to Billy first. Meanwhile Alfie tries to catch the rat in their house.

Mo goes round to thank Billy for looking after her baby yesterday. He tries to suck up to her. When she leaves, she says they can have a fresh start from now. Billy gets the wrong idea, telling Pat there is a chance for a new start for them as a couple.

Old Mo gets info from a prison guard, and goes to a hostel and finds Kat (who appears to be in disguise with her hair a synthetic reddish/purplish colour) sharing a room with an evil thieving bitch, so that makes two of them. Mo says she hasn't told anyone else about Kat. Kat moans that the roommate has stolen her lipstick and goes shouting after her. The warden/landlady tells her she's on a warning, and will be thrown out. Old Mo tells her she has to come home. Kat is reluctant. Old Mo tells her Zoe had a miscarriage, and needs Kat.

Mo comes back and says she has sorted it out with Billy. Alfie tries to catch the rat, and then finds the cat has already caught and killed it neatly, as cats do. Alfie and Mo have a romantic evening but meanwhile, Billy has bought a large bunch of flowers and takes them over to Mo's late at night, and he catches them in a compromising position.

Thu 26 May 2005

Alfie rushes out following Billy. Dot and Jim hear him shouting outside the house and Dot rushes to the window. Pat opens the door and Billy says it's for him and wields a rolling pin. Pat stops him and tells Alfie that Billy isn't there. She tells Billy to calm down, and Billy says he has "turned the other cheek" too many times, and he goes off to find Alfie. Little Mo is outside and runs after him shouting.

Demi whines about her parents keeping her teenage lover Leo away from her. Keith goes to see the child's other grandfather (Raymond), who slams the door on him. Keith keeps banging on the door and says they knew each other for ten years. The bloke says it's changed, and Keith stabbed him in the back and they made a deal, and Keith backed out, costing him his entire living. Keith says he was drunk, and no-one listens to him when he is like that. The bloke storms off and Keith shouts after him that he is pathetic. When Keith walks back, the bloke has somehow started up the ice cream van and crashes it driving towards Keith, but unfortunately for all of us, he misses and Keith survives. They shout at each other a bit, and it Raymond shouts that Keith sits around all day watching TV while he works his nuts off.

Meanwhile, Demi and Leo meet up and he gives her a stuffed toy to remember him by. Leo says he is running away and asks Demi to come too, they will find a place then come back for the baby. They go back home, and run into into Keith and Raymond still arguing and have a bit of a fight.

Jim goes into the kitchen to find three (rather glossy well-fed, tame-looking) rats on the table, eating the box of chocolates Pauline gave to Dot. Jim manages to get rid of them, and Dot comes into the kitchen to see what he is doing, and Jim says he found a rat and don't look outside. Dot does, and sees "a plague" of rats (actually about eight). She tells Jim they were attracted to his compost heap and he will not be coming to bed, he will be staying up all night making sure that no rats get upstairs - and that includes him.

Alfie and Billy eventually meet up and Billy punches Alfie, who says he will give him that one, he'd have done the same. Alfie says he's sorry Billy saw what he did, but him and Mo is over because he broke her heart for not loving her baby. Alfie says Billy should have acted like a man but he ran and hid like the coward he is. As if to prove the point, Billy runs and hides, like the coward he is.

Little Mo arrives to see Billy and says Alfie was a good friend. Mo says she loved Billy - loves him. He says she could have fooled him - she was cold as ice in bed. Mo points out this was due to the rape and Alfie made her forget about it, that is why she is affectionate to him.

Old Mo follows Kat home, and asks Kat to come with her. Kat discovers her flatmate has changed the locks since she left, but Mo finds a key under a plant pot. They go inside and Kat finds her stuff has been moved - into a kitchen cupboard and she starts ironing her clothes. The bloke arrives and doesn't want her to steal his money. She says it's her money. He replies that she never paid for a thing and tries to grab it back. Old Mo arrives back and joins the fight, and they escape. Kat says she will go and find a new flat and Old Mo gives her some money to help.

Fri 27 May 2005

Kat looks for a place to stay but realises she has little money, and no hope. She checks her savings and discovers them gone, so attacks her roommate. She is evicted and has a few pounds in all. She gets the bus to Walford.

Alfie asks Mo if she's getting back with Billy. She says no and invites him to lunch, as they have to talk. Alfie says she's going to dump him, isn't she - this is the line he has given a million times. Mo insists he come anyway. Alfie talks to Billy, and mentions he doesn't expect to see Kat ever again. Meanwhile, she arrives on the bus.

Alfie meets up with Mo and her big announcement is that she can't have sex with him. He says he doesn't care and he wants to tell everyone that they are together, and they arrange to do so this evening. They hear the front door, and Mo shoves him out of the back door as she can't cope with telling everyone for a week or so. It's Kat, who wanders around the deserted house. When the family arrive, she sneaks out, and runs away, but she has left a lipstick and Old Mo realises and goes looking for her. She tears up Kat's bus ticket, and Kat has no more money, so she begs the driver and the rest of the passengers to lend her some. She has no luck, and then the driver drives off running over her bag of clothes.

The scum family decide to move back home and deal with the rats themselves. Next door (or wherever it is, nearby) Leo steals money from his parents and Demi is saying goodbye to her baby in preparation for running away together. However, at the last minute, she decides to take her baby, and when they meet up Leo says they can't take the baby and all its stuff if they have nowhere to live. But he can't go home, as he just stole the money, so he leaves and Demi stays. Later, he returns and they decide to save up and be together (if he's saving up his acting fees, the kid will have left school, got a job - not acting - and retired by the time he has enough cash). Dot makes Jim admit that the rat's nest was in his compost heap, not the Millers' house. Charlie makes Jim agree to buy Keith a drink to apologise for the fact that they were blamed.

In the Vic, Alfie is about to make his announcement about Mo, when he turns around and Kat says hello.

Mon 30 May 2005

Alfie and Mo go outside in confusion, and Mo screeches hysterically that this isn't right, Alfie is married. Alfie says he wants her, not Kat. Kat comes out to find out what is going on, and Mo meekly disappears. Alfie frowns and asks Kat what's going on, she disappeared for months, and now he isn't interested in what she's got to say. Little Mo goes to see Billy and tell him that Kat is back (so presumably she's back to her second choice bloke as she's too moronic to have a life without clinging to a bloke). Billy says he won't get involved in Mo's grubby little secret. She shouts that she only kissed Alfie, and she's not lying about that, and she and Alfie are just good friends (what a liar!). Billy looks sceptical. Mo says she wanted cuddles, and Alfie was just there (what a lying little slut she is).

Billy and Mo drone on about her affair with Graham again (another tedious repeat of an old 2004 episode). However, this time, Billy asks for a divorce as he can't stand this again. Mo says that's too final, and she doesn't love Alfie, he is just a mate (hmm, what devious, nasty, manipulative liar she is). Mo asks Billy to be Freddie's father, and he says OK, the only reason they split was that he didn't love Freddie, and he does now, so they can get together. They conclude that there may still be a chance for them as a couple and Billy won't tell Kat what he saw.

Alfie and Kat go elsewhere and Alfie asks her what she is doing back after six months. She lies about where she has been and asks Alfie why he left the Vic. He explains about Den and Andy being killed. Kat is surprised as she had assumed things would be the same, and tries to pretend nothing's happened. Alfie is angry with her arrogant assumption that the world revolves around her. Kat blames Andy for their problems, and Alfie says they couldn't sort them out, regardless. He says he has changed, and he doesn't want her - he wants someone who isn't such hard work - and tells her to go home. She says she left because she hated herself too. He says she left him, and she realises he has someone else. He denies it. She notes he took off his ring, and she says she is still wearing hers. He replies angily that she would whip hers off all the time, even then they were together, whenever she saw a bloke in a club who might buy her a drink. She says she hung around in a drunken stupor for months after she left, beggin drinks off anyone, but in truth she missed everyone, especially him. She cries and says she is sorry for everything, and Alfie hugs her halfheartedly. She says now she has seen him, she wants him and no-one else, and with Andy ... [dead] they can sort things out and they are meant to be together. She leaves Alfie to think about this.

Tue 31 May 2005

Zoe isn't impressed that Kat spent all night out with Alfie, and didn't even bother to say hello to her daughter. Kat walks in at breakfast to everyone asking where she went last night. Stacey moans that she must be on the sofa now that she's back. Zoe says that staying out al night, no-one will notice. Little Mo checks that she was at Alfie's all night. Zoe sulks stubbornly and won't talk to Kat, whining selfishly that Kat wasn't around when she needed her to be. Kat insists that she go for a drink to chat, and Zoe is monosyllabic. Chrissie looks suspicious from behind the bar as Kat insists that Zoe can tell her everything that has happened while she was away. Zoe is reticent, and Kat assumes it was all due to the "miscarriage", and asks who took her to hospital - where was Dennis.

Dot learns the Highway code, preparing for another disastrous driving lesson.

Tina and Johnny have a pleasant lunch together and she makes herself very useful doing his books far quicker than he ever could. He asks her to move in with him permanently.

Mo and Alfie have an awkward chat. Alfie says he stillwants themm to be together, but Mo backs off and says he should be with Kat.

Chrissie interrupts when Zoe starts crying, and tells her to go upstairs to clean up. Meanwhile, Kat quizzes Chrissie about why Dennis left and why Den didn't do anything about it. Chrissie says Dennis left Zoe for Sharon and Den has run off with a blonde tart too.

Thu 2 Jun 2005

The Slaters organise a welcome home party for Kat, although Mo is obviously very unhappy that she is. She is also moping around annoyingly, unable to make a decision about which bloke she is supposed to like. Most people seem to think that Alfie and Kat are made for each other, and will have a happy reunion (yawn).

Sam is back from somewhere, I even forgot where she was supposed to be. Anyway, she is upset to find she is locked out of her flat and even more upset when she's told there was a break-in. However, when she realises that the police may have been there, she is very worried. Chrissie says slyly that she hopes nothing too important was taken. Sam immediately goes to look for the murder weapon, and it's missing. When she asks questions about the burglary, Minty explains that he and Chrissie tidied up the flat afterwards.

Later Chrissie manages to arrange for Sam to go to Pauline's and she is shocked to see the doorstop. Pauline says that Chrissie found it at last, and even gave it a good clean for her. She doesn't notice Sam's horrified, worried, annoyed look. Sam confronts Chrissie and they start bickering and threatening each other.

Dot and Jim argue more about Jim spending all the money on a car and Dot not having a new sofa. Johnny Allen takes an interest and approaches Jim about some loan or whatever. [Obviously he is now taking over Andy's loan shark business.] He has some scam about buying the council house and letting them live there rent-free as long as they want (until they die, presumably, and given Johnny's previous murdering track record, this seems to give him a very good motive for another couple of murders.)

Kat's party is awkward for Alfie and Mo, and we really need someone to make up both of their tiny minds because it's all very tedious and boring.

Fri 3 Jun 2005

Little Mo and Kat share a bedroom, and talk late at night. Kat persists in asking Mo if Alfie has another woman. Kat goes to see Nana, who obviously asks what she is doing about Alfie. Nana says they belong together and shows her a box of their items Alfie rescued from the Vic, including the wedding vows. Alfie walks in and says sarcastically that they look very cosy. He accuses her of trying to get Nana on her side. She waltzed off and it didn't work out so she wants to come back. Alfie miserably goes to talk to Mo in the Vic. He moans that Kat seems to be stalking him, and she is trying to get everybody on her side to make out he is the nasty husband.

Sam wanders around sulkily and Zoe asks why she is looking miserable, and reminds her pointedly that Sam can talk to her. Kat overhears and wonders why Zoe and Sam are obviously talking so personally. Zoe says OK, if she means that, they need to talk privately - and she offers Kat work on the stall.

Billy talks to Sam, who says she is thinking of leaving Walford, then goes to ask Chrissie why she sacked Sam. Chrissie refuses to say. Chrissie tells Sam to keep Billy from snooping around. Billy goes back to work and Sam goes to shout at him for begging Chrissie for her job back. Johnny walks in and sends Billy away and tells Sam that he understands her situation, losing everything, and says you never know when you might want friendly old faces around. She goes to see Billy and they chat about family. She says Phil is going down for a long time and she has to contact Grant and Mum to tell them. Billy reassures her and says they need to stick together now.

Pauline is going out and takes a large old camera, and she is obviously lying with her excuse to Sonia and Martin. She drops in on Rebecca and Margaret, who is clearly very unimpressed and reluctant. She asks to take a picture and doesn't take no for an answer. Margaret says she shouldn't be doing this and is very evasive about the next scheduled visit.

Jim is going out and being mysterious about it. Dot is inquisitive. Jim goes to see Johnny, with some documentation, and tells Johnny that Dot might not approve of Johnny's offer to buy the house. Johnny says flatteringly that they are wise to be cautious. It's some business plan to buy their council house so Johnny will be their new landlord and he will give them a lump sum for now, which will mean Jim can get a new sofa and doesn't get nagged by Dot for spending all their money on the car. He goes back to the launderette and starts to explain the plan to Dot. Tina is there collecting washing, and as Dot goes to get it, casually says she saw him with Johnny. Jim asks her not to mention it in front of Dot. Tina says in that case, she wants to know exactly what Johnny is doing. Dot comes back and they shut up.

Alfie brings the box of old things that Nana showed Kat to the Vic and asks Mo to give them back, he wants to get Kat out of his life. She nosily opens the box and inspects the very personal items, then snaps at Alfie that obviously he is lying and he and Kat are meant to be together.

Mon 6 Jun 2005

Pauline pesters Rebecca's granny by phone. Sonia catches her and Pauline lies to her about it. She is arranging Dot to cover her shift when Jayne comes in and advises her against seeing too much of Chloe, as Pauline calls her. Pauline says she knows what she is doing, and asks if Ian can drive her there. Sonia walks into the cafe and Pauline and Ian look horribly guilty.

When Pauline arrives, Margaret says Rebecca isn't there, and says shiftily that she hasn't checked her answering machine yet so didn't know Pauline was coming. They have a nasty little conversation and Margaret tells Pauline to leave, now. She has to go home on the bus, as Ian was going to collect her in an hour's time after picking up Bobby. He realises she is upset and discusses it with Jayne.

Kat is at the market stall and she makes a point of hanging around as close to Alfie as she can, in a rather clingy and grovellingly desperate way. Alfie can't move without her hanging around him and then scrounging food from the cafe on Alfie's bill. Alfie looks a bit miffed but agrees. He makes a point of telling Minty in the Vic (while Mo is serving) that his laughing with Kat is just as mates, and you need more than that to make a marriage work, as he looks wistfully at Little Mo.

Dot's driving instructor gives her a tape of some dull music to help her relax. Meanwhile, Johnny asks Jim if he has decided, and gives him a contract to tempt him. Jim still hasn't told Dot, as far as I can tell, but goes back to Johnny and shakes hands on it. Tina walks in and clearly disapproves of Johnny doing business with their neighbours.

Kat desperately chases Alfie some more.

Garry and Minty have a van to MOT and it needs parts, so the man leaves it there, saying that it's his business, and the women flock to his karaoke. They decide this will be the quick fix to their desperate love lives, and ask Chrissie to have a karaoke night at the Vic, and she reluctantly agrees they can do it on her night off, since Mo is so keen. The reason she is keen is soon revealed - she asks Alfie to help her behind the bar.

Jayne asks Pauline about Rebecca, and Pauline says she is going to get her back to her family, including asking Ian to arrange a solicitor for her battle.

Tue 7 Jun 2005

Garry and Minty hand out flyers for the karaoke, and Kat pesters Alfie to sing. Keith suggests that they all chip in for a prize for the winner. He goes round collecting money. Tina is sarcastic when Johnny lets slip the phrase "my people" about the square. She asks Johnny to do karaoke with her to show his solidarity. Minty and Garry practise at the Arches. However, the karaoke man arrives for his equipment back as he also has a gig tonight. Keith is passing and quickly interrupts to save his 30 quid collection, and says that would be illegal, they can't let him take the van.

Ian tries to talk Pauline out of pursuing Rebecca, but gives her the phone number of the solicitor. As he is leaving, a social worker arrives to talk to Pauline about her. Martin and Sonia arrive and the social worker explains the problem is the amount of visits Pauline is making to Rebecca. Martin says aggressively "what visits?" They argue for a while until the social worker interrupts and says that the only concern is Rebecca, and they agree with Margaret, and Pauline's visits will have to cease. Martin, Sonia and Pauline continue to argue then Martin goes to fetch Ian to argue with him too, then he punches Ian. Sonia patronisingly tells Pauline the old fable about a king telling two women to pull a boy to keep him then giving him to the one who gave up.

Johnny asks Jim what Dot thinks about the offer. Jim says he hasn't told her yet, and Johnny hints that if he doesn't tell her soon he will retract the offer. Jim tells Dot who says that he doesn't want repaying, he just gets the house when they shuffle off the mortal coil. Dot says what happens if he wants to sell the house while they are still in it. Dot says she doesn't like the idea at all, as she doesn't want to owe anyone anything.

The karaoke at the Vic starts. Kat waltzes in and takes over behind the busy bar, with Mo and Alfie both looking irritated by her brash arrogance.

Alfie arrives to help Mo, who is all dressed up for him. People are reluctant to start singing, but Billy agrees to, just for Mo. Keith tells Alfie he will have to judge and look after the prize money. Johnny and Tina arrive and Dot goes to talk to Johnny but Tina subtly says it's not a good time for business discussions, and with immense tact and flattery, even gets Dot to agree to come to dinner tomorrow to discuss it then.

Keith hopes to win with La Bamba in Spanish. Garry and Minty sing "My Girl", after practising all day, but half way through, the karaoke man arrives and discovers their deception and unplugs it. Nana says she wanted to sing so Kat shushes everyone and goes to help Nana do an a capella version of an old song, which she dedicates to Alfie's grandfather. Everyone sings along and Alfie goes to join them, which upsets Mo, who walks out sadly.

Thu 9 Jun 2005

Dot looks through old photos and finds the one she wants. She sees Tina and Johnny, and Tina asks her if there is any food that they don't eat, while also mentioning that Johnny has a business appointment. Dot's clear disappointment/disapproval makes Johnny backtrack and change his mind. Later, Jim goes round to ask the dress code, and when Tina says informal, he goes home and tries various strange outfits. Dot arrives and tells him off, saying they don't do informal.

Pauline phones Margaret again to ask for one last visit. Margaret insists a social worker be present. When Pauline arrives, she and Margaret have a dull personal conversation about their own various children and the social worker looks after the kid. She says goodbye, and gives Margaret photos of the entire family, and leaves, just as Sonia arrives and they wave goodbye.

Tina and Johnny argue slightly about buying Dot and Jim's house. She points out that he won't be able to separate business and pleasure - what if there was an emergency, he would want to sell the house.

Dot and Jim arrive and the conversation is awkward. Dot goes on about the sofa. Dot remembers Johnny when he was a child, and Jim comments that Dot said Johnny was the ugliest baby she ever saw. Dot shows Tina a picture of Johnny at the coronation party in the square. They chat about Ethel, who apparently liked Johnny's father, even though he was dodgy. Johnny tells them that he has had a finance problem and can't go ahead with the purchase of their house. Tina is surprised that Johnny has taken notice of her comments. She goes out into the kitchen and asks Johnny why. He says that he is tired of being dodgy.

Fri 10 Jun 2005

Sam tells Billy that she doesn't want just any old job - she wants a job where she can use her skills. He says with a slight snigger "which are?" He suggests that she ask Johnny for a job - isn't that what she was getting at? They are in the cafe and Jayne is too busy, so Sam offers to help her.

Dot chatters away about Jim during her driving lesson, and the instructor is frustrated by her lack of attention. Meanwhile, Jim explains that he wanted to buy Dot a sofa with the money, and she is a wonderful woman, and he has messed it up again.

Dot and Jim are at home and a sofa is delivered, a gift from Johnny. Dot doesn't want to take it but Jim says slyly that Johnny will be offended if they don't.

Johnny tells Tina that he is trying to change, he's done bad things in the past, but doesn't want to be that person any more. He tells Danny and Jake that everything is straight from now on, but Danny has a scam he's in the middle of and he won't stop carrying in the crates of whisky when Jake tells him to. Johnny makes it perfectly clear that he doesn't want the dodgy whisky and Danny whines what is he going to do with it? Johnny goes into the office and tells Tina he has just passed up a grand of easy money, this won't be easy. He tells her to send in the boys when they get back, and he sacks them, giving them a month's money in lieu.

He tells Tina that the Moons are temptation, and he wants to make a clean break.

Pauline takes the dog doorstop to prop open the launderette door, and Zoe looks at it as she walks past and is a bit distracted. Kat asks what's wrong. Zoe runs off to scream hysterically at Chrissie who tells her to keep her voice down and go home and get on with her life. Zoe wanders off moronically and goes home to have a "sleep" (actually a childish sulk). Old Mo tries to look after her and Zoe screeches a bit, so Old Mo goes to tell Kat to have a word. Kat asks if something has happened, and if it's about her miscarriage, a trouble shared is a trouble halved, and similar moronic platitudes. She says she knows what Zoe is going through. Zoe says she doesn't, and talking won't help. Kat whitters on boringly about her own miscarriage, which is a totally tedious dull ramble. Zoe says she didn't deserve to be a mother, she is a bad person (too true!). Zoe refuses to tell Kat what the bad thing she did was. Kat tries to force her to tell.

Mon 13 Jun 2005

Sam gets a job interview for some sort of club/pub job. She goes to Zoe's stall (!!!) to buy new clothes (hmm so it's obviously a cheap and sleazy bar job) and Kat asks Sam what went on with Zoe when she was away. Sam is evasive. Zoe chases Sam and asks her frantically about the doorstop/murder weapon. Sam says she can't discuss this now, as she has an appointment. She gets dressed up for the interview in a vampish lowcut red suit over a see-through black lace blouse (yes, it must be a very sleazy club job).

Dot makes a flask of tea for her driving lesson. Jim is horrified that she is taking tea and biscuits which she explains are for her long journey in a double driving lesson. Dot says the driving instructor suggested that she drive in the country instead of the town. Jim tells Dot that perhaps Michael is a chancer and his intentions are dishonourable. Dot is cross with his suspicious nature and says she may decide not to come home tonight.

After Dot has left Jim discusses his worries with Patrick. They also arrange to go to a vintage car rally. Jim worries about how upset Dot was with him as she left and even gets a red rose to adorn the car, hoping to please Dot.

In the driving lesson, they reach countryside, amazingly quickly actually, and after a weakly amusing double entendre conversation (not amusing enough to bother to type it out, sorry), Michael makes his move, putting his hand on Dot's hand on the gearstick, saying they should admit what is really going on here. Dot is horrified and jumps out of the car (which is rather strangely Oxford-registered, rather than a London plate) without putting on the handbrake).

Michael jumps out following her, horribly embarrassed and says he thought she was unhappy with her husband. The car rolls away backwards down the hill to crash slowly, but still crunchily, into a log pile.

Zoe whines so much and so annoyingly that eventually Sam says she didn't kill Den, Chrissie did. Zoe has a total character reversal and returns to her evil and stroppy side, saying Sam has tortured her by allowing her to believe she did, and she is maliciously pleased that Sam misses her job interview while they are chatting. Sam and Zoe discuss Chrissie and Sam persuades Zoe that Chrissie is already paying - she has to live with her dead husband under her feet continually. Zoe wants to punish her some more, but Sam says revenge is destructive.

Dot is back, in a taxi, and Jim tells her he is proud of her and she can practise some more in their car, and perhaps share some of the driving. Then he notices her mood and asks if she is OK. Dot says she's just a bit tired and guiltily makes Jim some food, without actually admitting that he was correct in his fanciful comments about the driving instructor being dishonourable in his intentions towards Dot [incredible as this may seem].

Zoe goes home, wondering what to tell Kat. Kat babbles on for a bit, then asks what it is Zoe needed to tell her. Zoe says there is something: she wants to put the past behind her and she is leaving Walford. [Thank goodness]

Tue 14 Jun 2005

Kat whines about Zoe leaving, and the family discuss her going to join Kelly in Ibiza. On the stall, Sam asks Zoe whether she is OK. Jayne persuades Ian to give Sam a chance at a job, but he is reluctant, quoting leopards changing their spots. He takes her to the chip van and asks whether it's beneath her. She walks off in horror as he gets in to show her round.

Jim suggests to Dot that they go on a picnic like she did yesterday with the instructor. She snaps at Jim and makes him go shopping. Meanwhile, the driving instructor turns up at the door in a somewhat hysterical state. He apologises for being so stupid and says they get on so well and she was so different from his normal pupils. Dot says she won't be having any more lessons from him, she is giving up driving. He says she mustn't do that, she was getting on very well. Jim arrives, and the instructor makes up a pathetic story about having taught Dot all he can, and she is ready for her test now. He says an emotional goodbye.

Zoe gets a call from Kelly and has to leave in the next two days if she wants a job. Charlie is sympathetic and says Kat should understand, Zoe should look after herself and go.

Demi is annoyed that Leo hasn't called her, and Leo explains that his father found the texts and took his phone. Demi whines that she thought he had changed his mind. He says no, he has a new paper round, and has earned 30 quid so they can run away together!

Demi and Leo plan to go away together, but Darren finds him there, and tells Leo to go. He says he hopes she's not seeing that loser again. Demi makes a show of telling him she isn't interested, then has a clandestine meeting.

Jim tells Dot she has to carry on with the professional lessons, saying she can't take her driving test in their car as it doesn't have dual controls (one would hope that they aren't needed for someone taking their test!). Jim realises that there is something else. Jim goes to talk to Dot and asks what is really going on - he knows the instructor was lying when he said that about her test. Dot says she's sorry, and she should have told him the truth - she explains about how she left the handbrake off and made a huge dent in the car, so he refuses to teach her any more. Jim laughs and thinks that explains everything.

Zoe and Kat argue about Zoe leaving. Alfie takes Kat for a cup of tea, and says it has been hard for Zoe lately. He reminds Kat that she left too, and says Kat is going on about how sad she will be, and not even thinking about how Zoe feels - she's being a bit selfish and if she lets Zoe go, she will leave the door open for her to come back, and she will tell Kat in her own time. In the Vic, Zoe talks to Sam about Kat. Sam says she would totally lose it if she told her the truth. Zoe says she would be letting Chrissie off the hook. Sam says she has a chance of a fresh start, without the guilt. Sam says she could stay here and relive the horror every day or she can get a job, get some money together and do whatever she wants.

Sam realises that she should take her own advice, and goes to ask Ian for the job.

Jim chats to Patrick saying that women and cars don't mix, and Dot walks in while he is saying this! She says that goes for men and common sense as well.

Kat apologises to Zoe, saying she was selfish, but she can see Zoe is running away from something, but her demons are in her mind, and she can't get away. Zoe says she will leave on her own terms, when she has got the thing she is running form sorted.

Thu 16 Jun 2005

At the Slater house, Kat helps book a flight to Ibiza for Zoe. Stacey steals some money out of a wallet and Charlie catches her. Little Mo and Kat listen through the door as he tells her off, and discuss his parenting skills and then go to their room and reminisce about their childhood. Kat relates stories about their parents and how marriages work, and how they stayed together.

Zoe goes to see Chrissie, arriving at the doorstep and punching her. Billy and Alfie are both sitting at the bar miserably, the only customers. Alfie buys Billy a pint, and Billy says it doesn't mean they are mates, he is still someone who gets off with other people's wives. They carry on talking a bit, and Billy gives Alfie advice on his beermat pyramid and then he buys the next round of beers. They also chat on about childhood, and Billy says when he was a small child, he wanted to be a knight and cut off his mother's head. Alfie says he wanted to be a binman. They get drunk together and chat in a very friendly way and make a huge beermat pyramid.

Upstairs, Zoe tells Chrissie that Sam has told her and they argue. Chrissie is just as bitchy back to Zoe, and says she always blames other people for her misfortunes. Zoe says Chrissie and Den were manipulators who made up an evil world. Chrissie says Zoe is totally wrapped up in her own little world, and her and Den were fine until she got pregnant. Then Chrissie explains how she was married before but they had no kids, and they got checked out and her husband, Steve, couldn't have children, and this ruined their marriage. She says she swore that she'd never let a child ruin another relationship. Zoe realises, and says that Chrissie orchestrated the evening Den died just to get Sharon out of Den's life. Chrissie said she had to save her and Den, and Sharon was a threat stuck between them, so this was the last chance for them, she knew Den would be broken, but once Sharon had gone, Den would be hers, when he saw she still loved him. Zoe leaves, saying this was never her mess, it was Chrissie's.

Fri 17 Jun 2005

Ian tells Sam she is late for her first day at work in the chip van - chop chop. He goes through the portion control with her again. Danny chats Sam up, saying he loves her in the hat. He is persistent, and Sam says the one good thing about having a van is that she can drive away from him. She tries, and the van won't start.

Kat and Zoe chat about Dennis and Kat says nastily that she hopes he never has any happiness in his life after what he did to Zoe.

Alfie and Billy meet up in the cafe and are OK after last night's chat. Then Alfie talks to Mo and she goes on about how worried she is that Zoe will have a bad flight early tomorrow, as Zoe and Kat will be drunk so she thought she'd make them some breakfast, or at least sandwiches, so they will be OK at the airport. Alfie says she is so thoughtful and caring about people. He offers to make up a picnic hamper for them to take. Kat and Zoe walk up, and Alfie jumps guiltily, then he says he has to go. Zoe tells Kat that Alfie obviously still fancies her, he was so distracted when he saw her.

Alfie finds the picnic basket and asks Jake to mind the stall. Jake asks if Kat knows he went out with her sister while she was away. Alfie says it was only lunch, not a date.

Mo goes to ask Chrissie for a party for Zoe tonight, and Rosie tells her that Chrissie is hiding this morning, and may be in a bad mood. Mo goes looking, and happens to see Chrissie looking at the result of Zoe's punch in the mirror. She has a huge, bruised, fat and cut lip. Mo is shocked and backs away, and finds Kat and tells her that Chrissie is in a horrible state - she has been punched.

Sam and Zoe talk about Chrissie and that she is now losing the plot. Zoe invites Sam to the Vic for her leaving party, saying thanks for telling her the truth eventually.

Ian moans at Sam for breaking the van, and at Minty because he told them to look at it earlier. Minty tells Ian that Garry already said it needed a complete overhaul and probably a new engine and after Ian storms off he makes everyone a nice cup of tea. Danny fixes the starter motor with a hammer, as a personal favour to Sam.

Meanwhile, Kat and Mo talk to Chrissie about her fat lip. Mo accuses Jake, saying she did this with her first husband. Zoe arrives and joins in, saying very sarcastically "oh dear, what happened". Chrissie panics and says she fell in the bathroom, because she has been drinking too much. Zoe smirks at Chrissie's humiliation. Mo says the pub is a curse, and Sharon said her mother was a drunk. Kat points out it was because they were both married to the same waste of space. They open the pub and Zoe tells Chrissie she is leaving tonight, forgetting everything that has happened.

Jim waffles to Pat about Dot and her driving, and says that driving isn't for women. Pat calls him a chauvinist pig. Pat asks Dot about it, and Dot explains the real reason - Mr Rawlings was a seducer, inflamed with ardour. Pat is shocked and smiles, then has to reassure Dot she is taking this seriously. Pat says she will teach Dot to drive, she hasn't been in a car for years, but they can't let the men have the last word.

Charlie takes Zoe out for a meal at lunchtime, and gives her a new bracelet to replace the cheap one he bought her before. He tries to give her advice about love, men and babies and she looks uncomfortable especially when he says it wasn't her fault the baby died.

Alfie brings Little Mo a hamper, as they discussed earlier, and Zoe and Kat look at it and Kat loves it. Zoe says Alfie didn't really do it for her, he must have done it for Kat. Kat is unsure, and Mo avoids answering. Chrissie is a bit distracted, and Jake tries to cheer her up. She tells him she was drunk and fell, please don't make a big deal. He invites her to go away for a weekend, saying she needs a break - this place isn't hers, it is Den's, and it is doing her head in. He asks why she is keeping it all intact, does she expect him to walk back and thank her - and he really gets going, saying he's left you, he is off having a laugh while you're just falling apart. Chrissie tells him to leave, saying he was just entertainment and she's bored now.

At the party, Alfie keeps looking across at Mo, who is with Kat and Zoe, so Kat assumes it is her he's after. She takes him out the back and jumps on him, and he pushes her off. Kat is embarrassed, and Alfie apologises. He goes back out with her bright red lipstick smudged all over him. Mo stops and stares at him. Then Kat walks up beside her and says that was a waste of time, she got it all wrong.

It's getting late and the party is almost over. Charlie makes a toast to Zoe and a speech. Chrissie confronts Sam about telling Zoe, and says her spiteful plan backfired - Sam played her ace and it came to nothing. Sam says she wants to put it all behind her and stop being conniving and malicious - and be happy. Zoe comes over and they bitch. Zoe says it's all over - Chrissie got away with it. The three of them turn around to "Hello girls" as Sharon walks in with Dennis beside her. The three of them stare in horror, and are even more horrified when Dennis adds "Where's Den?"

Mon 20 Jun 2005

The Slaters bitch about Dennis, and Charlie says he wants an explanation in front of everyone. Zoe tells them to shut up. She goes to the Vic, and the three witches discuss it again. Zoe is hysterical and whines that Sharon and Dennis will tell her family. Sam tells her it's her problem, and Chrissie says Sharon won't want everyone knowing about Den.

Dennis and Sharon are at Pauline's but she makes it clear that Dennis is not welcome, and only there because of Sharon. Betty wags her tail at him and Dennis replies "lovely dog, go nice on toast." Sharon stubs her toe on the iron doorstop/murder weapon, and amusingly says "no damage done."

Pauline says she has to go to work and, Dennis leaves, reminding Sharon that they are only there for a couple of hours to find Den and then they are leaving straight away. He goes out to Andy's house. Pauline tells him to stay away from the Slaters, because Zoe has been thorough enough. Dennis smiles ruefully and says the only way he'd go near them is with a cattle prod.

Pauline tells Sharon that Dennis is no good - he has no conscience, and then chats about the main events, that Den went away supposedly on business, and it was just like him - he missed Sharon and the Vic meant nothing without her, his spark was gone. Pauline gives her Den's message, that he was sorry. Dot arrives to snoop. She goes on about Zoe's suffering, clearly irritating Sharon. Charlie arrives to shout at Dennis. He says Sharon is ice-cold, and what sort of woman enjoys another's suffering? Sharon is now furious at the injustice of all the accusations.

As Dennis walks across the square, Danny wants to hit him but Jake says no, look where he is headed. Jake tells Danny that he was there too (at Andy's murder) so that's why they need to stay out of it. Dennis knocks on Andy's door and Pat answers in her dressing gown. He looks her up and down, laughs and says it's good job he's broadminded. He jokes 'Andy Hunter, older woman's plaything', and supposes he is in bed recovering the use of his legs, and he will be moving onto Pauline next, she could do with a bit. Billy walks downstairs and everyone looks at each other, and Dennis realises that something is wrong.

Kat goes to see Alfie and he tells her they have to split up their belongings. Kat is offended and upset that he has decided they are over. She grabs a few tarty items of clothing in a ripped old plastic bag.

Pat makes Dennis tea and tells him the coroner said it was suicide, and Andy changed. Dennis says he was murdered, they both know it. Dennis says unhappily that he warned Andy, he told him to get out of whatever it was. Pat says he had a good funeral and Dennis says emotionally that if you're dead, you're dead, it doesn't matter if you're buried in landfill [too true]. Pat tells him about the will, and leaving Sam the wedding ring to get her roots done. Dennis laughs hollowly and says he didn't change that much then. As he leaves Andy's house looking unhappy, Zoe accosts him and begs him not to tell her family. He hardly looks at her, and says neither he nor Sharon intend to. Zoe thanks him desperately and Dennis looks a bit annoyed as she runs off in relief. Kat sees and goes over to have a go at Dennis. She drops some of the belongings she was carrying from Alfie's. She says she doesn't know what Zoe ever saw in him. Dennis replies "same thing as you did, sweetheart, how are you anyway - still chucking your knickers around the square, I see."

Then Charlie starts shouting at him across the square and all the Slaters start screeching. Sharon comes out of Pauline's and goes to him, saying she is fed up with this. Dennis really doesn't care, and just replies "Andy's dead". Sharon asks if he is OK, and realises he isn't really, but Dennis tells her Andy was killed and he goes to the bookies, banging on the door as Pat has gone inside. Johnny Allen sees his aggressive manner from across the square and looks curious.

At the Slaters, Zoe says she's leaving right now. However, Charlie secretly decides to have the party that they should have had last night. Sharon walks in the back door and privately tells Zoe that she is fed up with "Saint Zoe", and Dennis getting all this hassle, and to keep her family under control, or she will tell them the truth.

At the bookies, Dennis tells Pat they aren't staying, and just came to see Den. Pat says Den can always be relied on to be unreliable. Dennis smoulders and says in the mood he is in right now, anyone will do. On cue, Johnny walks in, asking "Hi, who are you". Dennis ignores him totally and turns away. Johnny walks in front of him and says determinedly "I asked you a question, pal, are you deaf, or are you just plain stupid?" Dennis looks at him in equally determined silence. Pat comes out of the office with the books, and stops short. Johnny asks her who her friend is, and she says Den Watts' son. Johnny says, reasonably, he should have said and tells Pat he came in to check on her, he seems like a bit of a chancer, you know. Pat says oh no, he owns the place - a mate of Andy's (with a raised eyebrow). Johnny says "sad loss" and adds he knew Dennis's father. Dennis is still totally silent and clearly unimpressed. When Johnny holds out his hand to shake, Dennis ignores it and walks away to look at Pat's books. Johnny says "he might want to remember his manners in future, Pat." Johnny leaves and she says frantically doesn't he know who it is. Dennis says calmly, yeah, he does.

Sharon interrogates Chrissie, who tells the "other woman" story. Sharon isn't really convinced but that's all there is.

In the Vic, Johnny is clearly irritated, and Danny comments to Jake, saying it's interesting that Johnny is so rattled.

Meanwhile the Slaters are all loudly slagging off Dennis. Pat tells Billy that Dennis wants to sell up. Dot tells Charlie to apologise to Pauline.

Dennis goes to Pauline to get a key to collect their things, and Pauline says Sharon has one. Dennis says she might have warned him that Andy was dead. Pauline says good riddance, he was a bad lot and Dennis, says, sounding hurt, "he was my mate," he shakes his head and adds "you people, the sooner we're out of here, the better". He walks to the Vic, where the horrific Slaters are all busy shrieking about how evil he is. Alfie is just walking out and advises Dennis not to go in, he won't be welcome. Dennis replies "you're confusing me with someone who gives a toss" Alfie sighs and replies for once in his life, just be told. Dennis ignores him and walks in, creating silence. He asks for a vodka, no ice, double. Sam hesitates and Kat shrieks at her not to serve him. Dennis asks Sam if he is barred and says he doesn't think she can, can she? She says no, and he asks Dot if she'd like a drink. She already has a full glass, and lifts it as she declines. Danny chips in that no-one wants to drink with him. Dennis shrugs "cheap round". He announces "Let's get one thing straight, what went on between me and Zoe is between us, so why don't you vultures find another carcass to pick over." Charlie starts shouting that he trusted Dennis with his daughter, and Zoe shouts at him to shut up. Johnny is with Tina, and he looks up and steps in, saying that Dennis is upsetting the customers, and he should leave. Dennis, predictably, replies "make me". Johnny says all right, and gets up, but Tina stops him. Pat breathes a sigh of surprised relief, as do most other customers, but the Slaters all chip in to harass Dennis some more, shrieking loudly. Charlie berates Dennis some more, and Kat and Old Mo also shout a lot. Charlie says Den should be here to teach him a lesson, at least he stood by Zoe when she needed it. Dennis laughs at the irony and says oh yes, that's my old man, would always stand up for a lady. Charlie is infuriated that Dennis laughed, and Dennis replies it was one of those jokes where you really had to be there. Sharon shakes her head in disbelief at how wrong assumptions can be. Charlie says to Dennis that kid's blood is on your hands. Dot looks curiously at Dennis's reaction, and Zoe looks horrified, but Dennis says calmly, holding up his hand "I don't see any, do you?" Kat goes mental and lunges at him, punching Garry, and a confused, noisy, melee ensues, while Dennis stands back.

Zoe screams she can't take it any more, it's not him, it's Den - there is something none of you know about Den. Chrissie and Sam looks at each other worriedly. Sharon looks slightly smug and Dennis looks like he'd just rather not be there. [And we all wait until tomorrow to discover exactly what she decides to reveal.]

Tue 21 Jun 2005

Zoe pauses before her announcement and Kat pushes her to go on. Dennis says no, don't, but Zoe says the baby was Den's, and Dennis could have told everyone but he didn't. Kat says she doesn't believe it, and Sharon asks if they think she'd be here if it wasn't true? Dot looks at Dennis sympathetically. Chrissie has a bit of a shriek saying that it was her husband, and the car crash that is her life is what they are discussing.

Danny says he's heard of people getting their dad to help put up shelves, but getting your girlfriend pregnant is beyond the call of duty. Danny comments of course, he likes keeping it in the family. Dennis looks menacing and finally makes a move to hit him, but Sharon puts her hand on his arm. Dennis says he will wipe that smirk of his (Danny's) face one of these days. Dennis is fuming and embarrassed in the hall, and Sharon says it's better now. Dennis wails, what - everyone knowing my own father knocked up my girlfriend, how is that better? Sharon says he won't have to take the blame any more. Dennis says maybe he likes taking the blame, it's what he's used to. Sharon says maybe he doesn't care but she does. He asks Sharon if she spoke to Zoe, and Sharon says yes, but she didn't tell her to do this, and they have nothing to be ashamed of. They go to the bar. Sharon says what people think matters, and Dennis says only to her.

Jake is nice to Chrissie and she thanks him.

Dot goes to Dennis and says she's so sorry, she feels she has let him down, she wished he could have told her. Dennis says not at all, thanks, she's an angel, and gives her a kiss on the cheek. Then Garry and Minty sympathize about blokes nicking other bloke's girlfriends, and then go on about it wasn't just a bloke, it was Den. Dennis walks out. Dot goes to tell Pauline, who says he deserves it, he was in and out of all the women's beds, now he knows what it feels like. Dot feels sorry for Dennis keeping this quiet all the time.

Alfie explains to Nana how he is moving on from Kat, that is why he is packing up her stuff.

At the Slaters house they all question Zoe, and Charlie suggests that Den raped her. Zoe says he didn't force her. Sam tells Chrissie that the Slaters will wear Zoe down, a few hours from now she will.....

At the Slaters, they are all disgusted with Zoe, and Charlie says this wasn't the way they brought her up, and no wonder Den was round here so concerned.

Alfie comes round to bring back Kat's stuff, and the timing is bad, and he leaves quickly. Little Mo arrives at Alfie's and agrees to help Nana tidy up. They end up doing ballroom dancing to Nana's old records. Alfie is entranced by Little Mo's amazement and pleasure at Nana's dresses. Alfie tells her she looks beautiful. However, Mo stops Alfie, saying it's wrong for them to do this.

Kat asks whether it was Den's money: Zoe can't just say "it happens". They ask about the baby and Zoe admits she got rid of it. All the family have a go at her, and Zoe says Kat wasn't there. Dennis walks in to speak to Zoe. Kat says she's not talking, and Charlie says it's OK, he's done nothing wrong. Zoe says she will go to her room to talk to Dennis. Kat wails at Zoe that she won't talk to her mother but she will talk to Dennis! Kat asks him to tell her where Den is and Dennis says he wishes he knew. In Zoe's room, she and Dennis talk. Zoe says she was trying to help, and Dennis says this was her trying to help? By telling everyone his dad got his leg over his girlfriend? Slashing his tyres or cutting up his suits, he could understand, but catching her at it with his own father, and even that wasn't enough, the minute he's back, she tells a pub full of people, she must really hate him. She whines she loves him, she's not that evil. He says it's humiliating. Zoe says now he knows what it feels like, she would have done anything for him. Dennis says he tried to make it work with her. He says he only came back to see Den and tell him, show him that he and Sharon are together and there is nothing he can do about it. He has unfinished business, Den has it coming to him. Zoe tries to persuade him to move on, saying he has so much, Sharon, the bookies - does Sharon make him happy? Dennis says yes, and then is kind to Zoe, saying maybe if things had been different, and tells Zoe to take care of herself, and she jokes, and he adds sweetly that he really means it. He goes downstairs and Charlie makes a big apology. Dennis tells him he did everything a father should do, because he is everything a father should be, and he doesn't need to be sorry for that, and leaves quietly.

Charlie whines to Old Mo about his failure.

In the Vic, Chrissie is trying to keep going, and Jake watches her carefully. When she cuts her hand, Jake kindly takes her upstairs. He says she could have told him. Chrissie says she had her pride, and can't stand pity. Jake is very sympathetic and says none of this is her fault. She moans that she knew about the women and she liked the fact that he could have all those younger women, but always came back to her. But then it went further, and she always had him back, so what does that make her. She sobs and then says "I bet you fancy me now, eh?" Jake reassures her that he does, so she can tell him everything. Chrissie almost looks like she will, and she says the last time she saw Den, it was different, and Den made her think she deserved it, and she just wanted it to stop. She cries, and Jake gives her a hug and says Den is gone, he can't hurt her any more, it's over.

She and Jake go downstairs and Charlie comes in to ask where Den is.

Sharon and Dennis are at home holding hands and talking intimately. Dennis says how does it work - Charlie would do anything for his children, then there is Den selfish, jealous. Dennis says he used to lie awake as a kid, imagining his father, someone big, solid, who, when I found him, would be there. Dennis says but when he found Den, all those fantasies, it didn't even come close. Sharon says he is out of their lives now. Dennis says it would have been nice though - having a proper father.

Zoe packs and Kat harangues her and shouts at her that she had an abortion. She thinks Den still has some sort of hold over her. Kat says she wants to know where Den is, and she will sort him out. She locks Zoe in the bedroom, insisting that Zoe tell her where Den is. Eventually Zoe blurts out that Den is dead.

Thu 23 Jun 2005

Kat is stunned at Zoe's declaration that Den is dead, meanwhile, Chrissie has told Charlie he is in Dagenham, with the daughter of a business associate [What? Why not Spain?].

Zoe explains, telling Kat she must listen to the whole story, and not jump down her throat. Kat says why wouldn't Chrissie say that, it's a lot less humiliating than what she is saying. Zoe says Chrissie can't say Den is dead. Kat asks why there wasn't a funeral, and if she's going to lie she could at least make it convincing. Kat says it's a hopeless lie, and she is obviously lying to her own mother. Zoe says Kat hasn't got a clue, locking her in might have worked when she was eight, and she ran away without even contacting them and Kat always thinks she's the centre of the universe. Zoe says she knows what they think - she was raped, kept the baby, Mo was raped, kept the baby, but she goes to bed willingly, but flushes the kid. She says that her relationship with Kat is too superficial to tell each other important things - Kat didn't tell her when she left.

Pauline moans at Dennis that her sink is blocked and has he put things down it? She also says he could have done some washing up. Dennis said he thought he was a guest. Pauline says Sharon is a guest, he is just with her. Sharon gives Dennis a sandwich and moans that he remembers why he didn't want to come back, and Sharon says it's her home, she wants to catch up with friends. He says he could do with the wicked witch of Walford, and then Pauline walks in to say she is going out to get a new plunger. Dennis says sarcastically "it's all glamour, isn't it?" Sharon cajoles him to help Pauline with her sink, and she might start being civil to him.

While he is under the sink, Pat visits to tell him about the bookies, and ask him to come over so she can show him how it runs. Dennis says "open shop, fleece mugs, close shop." Pat says Andy probably saw him running the shop, and Dennis says that would be carrying on wasting their lives. He isn't interested in the shop - but if he sells it as a going concern, he'll definitely recommend they keep her on. Pauline arrives back to find the dismantled sink and Dennis tells her there is no point plunging it, go and put her feet up and he will make her a cup of tea.

Charlie goes home with the Dagenham story about a girl the same age as Zoe, and Old Mo disbelieves it, saying people around would know, and Charlie asks her to ask around for someone who fits the description. Stacey says what if it is Zoe - she is saying she's going off to Ibiza, what if she is going to meet him? Old Mo says it wouldn't be unprecedented - remember that Zoe kept quiet about her plan to sneak off to Spain with Uncle Harry.

They bang on the door of Kat's sleazy leopard print bedroom, and ask Zoe if she is off to meet Den? Stacey interrupts, saying Zoe is obviously hiding something - look at her. Zoe squares up and says Stacey will get a slap, Stacey replies she will take Zoe down, and paint her all over these walls. Kat says she's not, and everyone else leaves and Kat locks Zoe in again. Old Mo and Stacey go to ask everyone what they know about Den and where he might be.

Kat answers Zoe's mobile, and it's Sam, who says "have you told them, yes or no" Kat shrieks at her, and Sam hangs up quickly. Chrissie checks Sam's phone and is annoyed. Sam won't tell her what was said, and Chrissie is annoyed. They bitch a bit.

In Kat's boudoir, Zoe gets frantic and batters at the locked door, then finally breaks off the handle, saying she doesn't want Kat to know, she bangs on about being her mother at these times, and the rest of the time she doesn't want to know. Zoe says this is not Harry all over again, she did it willingly.

Charlie visits Pauline to ask about Den, and Dennis says he is as much in the dark as Charlie, and they know nothing, but also want to get hold of Den so join the queue, and he will come out of the woodwork eventually, he always does.

Eventually Kat lets Zoe out, kicking down the door, but in the square, Charlie is having a bit of a fight, and the police are called. Zoe gets hysterical, and tells Kat she has to get everyone to keep quiet and not mention it all. She says Den is dead - she was there, and Kat doesn't stop the police, she is facing prison. Kat interrupts the policewoman talking to Charlie and stops them chatting. Old Mo and Charlie ask Kat what is going on, and she says it's OK, she knows. Then she goes to find Zoe, who has run off with her bag. The station is closed and Zoe misses the bus, allowing Kat to catch up with her, and push her into a public toilet, the gents next to the station, where Billy is! [How utterly ridiculous! What is he doing there, and why would anyone go into a smelly public toilet when they live just across the road?]

Dennis finishes fixing the sink and jokes that it was the best two hours of his life. Sharon tells Dennis she has enjoyed today, seeing all the people she knew, obviously wanting to stay, but Dennis suggests they go to Brighton tonight. Sharon is disappointed.

Zoe tells Kat she, Sam and Chrissie killed Den. Kat is, for once, speechless. The Kat makes her explain everything, and Zoe tells the whole sordid story about lying to Dennis about being pregnant, etc. Zoe says she wanted Kat to be there, she didn't know what to do. She begs Kat to make it all right, and Kat looks both horrified and thoughtful.

Chrissie and Sam wait in the Vic separately, silent in thought, reliving the moment.

Fri 24 Jun 2005

Kat overacts her horror with Zoe being part of a murder, considering she was perfectly happy to help Little Mo cover up her own attempted murder of Trevor, and she pretends to vomit. Zoe whines "love me" and that she told her that she wouldn't like it, and Kat just kept pushing. Kat says she doesn't know Zoe any more. They shriek and whine a lot, but fortunately no men come into the gents toilet. Zoe whines that Sam and Chrissie were nasty to her, and Kat says she's going to the police. Zoe says she is a wreck, and Kat always does this - forces her to tell secrets then dumps her summarily. After a while, Kat says she will get Chrissie to confess, leave Zoe and Sam out of it, and if she won't, snap her neck and bury her next to her husband. They argue o again about Kat's appalling record of denial, poor motherhood and irresponsibility. Kat says she told Zoe she was her mother when she was 5 years old, but she forgot. Zoe says Kat is a useless selfish mother, she will grass her up, but won't give her a hug. Alfie walks in, and apologises. Kat says coldly that Zoe is leaving. Zoe says "see you" and waits for a reply, but bitchy Kat still refuses to talk to her. Eventually she runs after Zoe. Not finding Zoe at the tube station, Kat staggers to the Vic and Little Mo looks after her. Chrissie goes to check on her and Kat looks at her evilly. Chrissie realises that Kat knows, and quickly tells Mo to take Kat home, where she whines about being a rubbish mother. Alfie sees Zoe, who didn't go to the tube station after all, and he asks her to stay for Kat's sake. She tells Alfie what she said to Kat about being a useless mother. Alfie says Kat does tend to lash out, but she loves Zoe. He advises her that she is leaving soon, so sometimes you have to put your heart on the line, so just be brave and say what she wants to.

At Pauline's, Sharon tries to make peace between Dennis and Pauline, who tells Dennis they are not pigs, and he has to sit at the table and eat his takeaway pizza with a knife and fork. Pauline sits in her armchair and eats her quiche with her hands. Dennis pulls her up on it, and then she says he has to wash up his cutlery and put the pizza box in the bin. Dennis is furious at the hypocrisy and leaves in a huff.

Sharon goes to see Chrissie, who looks a mess and Sharon is sympathetic. Chrissie says she wishes Sharon could stay, she needs all the friends she can get. Dennis arrives and asks Sharon to leave now, he will not stay a minute longer at Pauline's. He can't get hold of his friend, with whom they were supposed to stay in Brighton, so Sharon refuses to go, and then she asks Chrissie if she could put them up in the Vic. Chrissie hates the idea, but has to agree after what she just said.

Zoe goes home and Kat isn't there. Charlie gives her a hug and then Mickey and Gus arrive to give her a present. Little Mo asks Stacey to find Kat, but she doesn't. Chrissie arrives and Zoe ignores her totally. Charlie says it's not a good idea her being there. As Zoe leaves, Chrissie whispers she had better not have said anything. Zoe wanders off slowly. At the Slaters', Alfie says talking to Zoe made him realise a few things, and he loves her, Kat is in the past, it is all over. Mo says Kat is her sister, it wouldn't be right.

Kat arrives, and they all tell her to run after Zoe. Kat says to Chrissie as she passes "you'll keep". Zoe gets out her little girl's purse and buys a ticket to Stansted, obviously Charlie simply can't be bothered to take her this time, after offering hundreds of times over the last week. Kat catches up with Zoe and they make up, as Kat gives her a cheap little trinket which is obviously enough to make dimwit Zoe forget everything that has happened over the last 20 years. She leaves, with "I love you mum". So everything is all fine then [yawn].

Mon 27 Jun 2005

Sharon and Dennis are being pointlessly cute and loving together in the Vic (I think we already got the point).

Chrissie goes to see Sam early in the morning and tells her that Kat knows, she made a nasty comment. Sam says she's imagining things, Kat was always malicious. Meanwhile, Sharon takes the Vic delivery, and tells Chrissie she doesn't mind helping out. Kat arrives and asks Chrissie for change for the stall, and makes snide little comments to Chrissie and then to Sharon, asking if she's earning her keep.

Alfie asks Kat whether she and Zoe made up before she left, and about Den, and Kat says yes, but she promised not to says a word.

Jake tells Danny he has a job on a building site. Danny refuses, and Jake points out they have bills. Danny asks Alfie for work on the stall, and he refuses. Alfie sees Mo and Mo whines that she can't talk to him, because Kat still loves him. Alfie says they can be friends. Mo says OK.

Dennis sees an adviser about the bookies and Pat asks how it went. Dennis says it will be sold as a retail outlet, but a bookmaker may buy it, as it's been established a long time and has a gambling licence. He goes to the Vic and Sharon asks how it went. Pauline snipes at them about leaving their whole past behind, and Dennis says well maybe they want to make a future, but he will bear her comments in mind. Danny asks Pat for a job, and Johnny comes in and places a long-odds bet. He tells Danny that he should do a bit of work. When the long shot wins, Danny goes to hang around Johnny, and is generally whiny and irritating as usual.

Sam talks to Kat, who maliciously enjoys Sam's discomfort and awkwardness. Then she goes to the Vic and causes trouble, taunting Chrissie by going on and on about Den coming back, or not. Chrissie is rattled and goes upstairs for a drink. Sharon offers to help out in the Vic if Chrissie wants to take a holiday.

Danny whines annoyingly and begs Johnny for work. Johnny puts the stack of fifty pound notes that he won at the bookies on the bar table and tells Danny he will share his good luck - if Danny leaves and never bothers him again. With little hesitation, Danny takes the wad of cash. He goes home and gives Jake the money for the bills, but then he whines that he won't take Johnny treating him like that.

At the Slaters, Kat and Mo are chatting about love and Charlie interrupts saying they are going to the Vic, as a family. They go to the Vic and Kat says she won't come as she can't trust herself, then she stares malevolently out of the window for ages.

Charlie arrives and offers Dennis and Sharon a drink, which Dennis declines, as he has one. Charlie says that he shouldn't have accused them without knowing the full facts, and he would really like to buy them a drink. Sharon graciously accepts a V&T, and Charlie buys Dennis the same as he already has.

Kat arrives in the Vic following Charlie, and starts her malicious screeching. Always a strident and annoying harpy, Kat has turned into an extremely vicious bitch since returning, and harangues Sharon and Dennis, saying they are moving away, how nice for them (as if anything that happened to Zoe was in any way their fault!) Sharon calmly tells Dennis just ignore her.

Kat wails on hysterically.

Kat then tries taunting Chrissie with little hints about Den, eventually saying in front of everyone in the Vic, that if a bloke had done that to her, she would have killed him. Then she shouts about the crack in the fruit machine. Chrissie follows Kat out, and they have a "private" chat in the middle of the square. Chrissie says she did what she could for Zoe, and she made her own decisions. Kat says Zoe told her everything, but she wants to hear it from Chrissie. Wisely, Chrissie is silent, and Kat reveals what she knows - where Den is and that Chrissie killed him.

Tue 28 Jun 2005

Chrissie is in a bad mood and Sharon offers to help out again today, and asks if she minds them staying. Sam comes round and Chrissie tells her that Kat knows everything, and they are both nervous about what to do next.

Jake teases Danny about what job he is going to get, after getting 600 quid dropped in his lap. He comments to Alfie when he sees him look attracted when he looks over at Kat and Mo, that he should do something about it. Alfie finds Mo in a park and chats to her.

Kat corners Chrissie in an alleyway and threatens her. Chrissie offers her money, and Kat says maliciously "keep guessing".

Pat offers to show Dennis more about how the place works, and them moans about her job. Dennis says she hasn't got a mortgage so she could look forward to relaxing.

Danny puts 200 quid of the money he got from Johnny on a horse in the bookies, showing off to Patrick and Jim. Then Dot arrives and tells Jim that his dinner will be ready at half twelve, be there. She says she doesn't know how Pat does it in this den of iniquity. Pat comments to her asking how she coped when she retired. Dot says she went back to work as she didn't want to sit at home and shrivel up.

Danny bets the rest of the money in two bets, finally going for a long shot. Pat asks Dennis if she should take it, the payout is 9 grand if it wins. Dennis pauses, then says yes, relying on the odds.

Kat goes and asks Sam exactly what happened that night. She screeches maliciously that Zoe was "hangin on by a fred" and Sam dragged her into Den's party. Kat shouts hysterically at Sam, saying she will rip her to pieces. Sam tries to leave, and Kat grabs her. Sam cries, and Kat carries on ranting incoherently and viciously. Sam is terrified and sobs that she is sorry. Kat says the only reason she isn't coming after Sam is that Zoe forgave her before she left. [This clearly implies that she *is* going after Chrissie.] Sam wails what is she going to do? Sam goes to tell Chrissie, gloating, that Kat isn't interested in her, and she's very relieved, and she tells Chrissie she is on her own.

Alfie and Mo have a fun afternoon in the park. They chat about going out to the dogs. Alfie makes a big effort to obtain tickets from a friend of Jake. Kat shows Mo a postcard from Zoe, telling her to go after Alfie. Mo looks awkward.

Dennis watches the race on which he stands to lose 9 grand, and the horse loses. Danny's other bet wins, so he goes home with a couple of hundred quid. Danny wins 300 quid with his other 100 quid bet, and says drinks are on him. Jake comes in covered in cement from his builders job, and looks resigned at Danny's flash show. He asks Chrissie if she is OK. Kat arrives and Chrissie goes upstairs and they talk. Chrissie apologises, and Kat says she could destroy Chrissie's life with a few words. Chrissie replies that Zoe hit Den first, so she is just as much a murderer as she, and Kat is a real hands-off mother - she has packed off her daughter to a life on the run. Kat laughs and starts to try to upset Chrissie by describing the murder, buckets of blood, and that must be a nightmare for Chrissie, and what with Sharon swanning about poking her nose in, that will really do Chrissie's head in.

Alfie sees Mo with the tickets and she has changed her idiotic tiny little mind yet again, and says no, so Alfie does his annoying "kicked puppy" look for the millionth time.

Pat shows Dennis the takings, and he is impressed by the results. She tries to interest him in running it, but he just says great, with all these good ideas, tell the new owner. Pat goes home from work and sits miserably in the square, and Dot finds her and asks for a driving lesson. Pat says she will probably have a lot of time on her hands in the near future.

Danny tries to buy Johnny a drink, and Johnny says he already told him to save his money. Chrissie serves him bitter and he says he asked for lager. Danny tries to start a fight with Johnny. Jake stops him and drags him off. Danny shouts drunkenly that he won't hang around with losers. Chrissie is still upset and when a fight nearly breaks out, Sharon is sympathetic, and then makes a comment about Jake being good-looking. Chrissie snaps at Sharon, repeating Kat's words, that she doesn't want Sharon swanning around, as if she owns the place (which she certainly is). She adds that one Watts has already ruined her life. Sharon goes away looking surprised at Chrissie's vehement outburst.

Thu 30 Jun 2005

Pat takes Dot out for her driving lesson, but she is distracted by her own thoughts and Dot drives on randomly, meandering into the countryside. Eventually Dot comments that Pat isn't paying attention, and she agrees and apologises, saying they can do it again, let's go home. Dot says "which way"? Pat says "you're driving, didn't you look at the signs?" Dot says no, she always turns left, because it's easier than turning right. They eventually find a signpost. Pat and Dot are both irritated and snap at each other, Pat says "watch out for ..." and Dot drives over a huge pothole. Pat is sarcastic and Dot says when she wants advice from someone who was banned from driving... Then she notices smoke coming out of the bonnet. Pat asks her to pop the bonnet and looks inside at the steam, and says, the engine is overheating. She calls a mechanic. Pat and Dot sit together and bitch about religion and each other. Pat says even Lou forgave her before she died, so if she could, why is Dot always judging? Dot says she isn't, but obviously thinks about it. Dot says Pat simply shows no remorse for her youthful prostitution and sleeping with married men. Pat says she had to do whatever was necessary to keep a roof over her head, she didn't have a family or husband. Dot says "not one of your own". Pat says she paid for anything she did many times over. Dot then waffles on about herself, regretting things she hadn't done. Dot says she was always afraid - of the dark, of Charlie, of Nick, regrets seemed to be all she had, before Jim. Pat says you have to take chances when they appear. She says Dot is OK at driving, and Dot says she thought last year, when she was ill, that she would make the most of what she has left, if she doesn't learn to drive now, she never will. Pat says she is 62, she won't get another job now. She is tired of having to start all over again. Pat looks around and says she is fed up with doing nothing. Dot says good - find out who Dennis is selling the bookies to, and get a job. Pat says no, she is fed up with waiting, and she looks under the bonnet again, immediately sees a radiator hose has come loose, and says it must have happened at the pothole. She clips it on with one of her earrings and they drive home.

Jayne is late home and finds Sonia already there baby-sitting. Ian made a mistake and got her there thinking Jayne was going out that evening. Jayne invites Sonia to stay for a pizza and some wine and they discuss the kids, then get onto Sonia's, and Jayne says she thinks she did the right thing. Sonia gets drunk and says the key to handling Pauline is rules and signs. The rule is never touch the fruit bowl, and there are vague smoke signals about her moods. Sonia says she's fed up with the mortgage, and the house is not really theirs, Pauline is a sitting tenant.

The electrics go in the Vic, and Chrissie blames Sharon, who says she knows that Chrissie is upset with her since last week - what has she done? Is it because of Den, she is taking it out on Sharon? They have a drink together and Sharon sympathizes. The electrician arrives (I wonder if he will suggest sorting out some wire under the new cement of the floor....). Chrissie and Sharon drink as it looks like a long job, and Chrissie tells Sharon how Den wooed her, and after Kate she thought he had changed, but then Zoe - Sharon is right, he broke her heart. Sharon says there was a lot of collateral damage, and when Dennis tracked her down in Miami, he had come all that way, but he was the last person she wanted to see. Sharon says she came back because running is a mug's game, when she leaves it will be to go somewhere. The electrician comes back and is flirty with Chrissie, and Sharon says she could always go for a younger model - what about Jake? She should go out and enjoy herself, if she left Den, he wouldn't be sitting around, he would be after anyone with a pulse. You never know what might happen you could be hit by a bus, or any other heavy object, so live a little. Chrissie looks uncomfortable.

When Dot arrives back, she asks Pat to go to the bookies on a pretence and suggests Pat buy it from Dennis, as she knows all about how to run it, and has been doing a great job for months.

Fri 1 July 2005

Dennis leaves the Vic in a flurry of kissing with Sharon, and says he has to open up the bookies as Pat has an appointment. She mentions to Dot that she is looking into her suggestion and goes for a bank appointment. She assumes the kid who greets her is the tea boy and then it turns out he is the bank clerk who checks her credit rating and points out the bankruptcy and her poor overdraft record. He says with her history and no collateral.... and she says apart from her house, but she is sorry to have wasted his time. He calls her back and says there is no record of a mortgage. She says she inherited the house, and had it valued. She gets a mortgage, and tells Patrick she is going to put in an offer on the bookies.

The chav scum family reappear, sadly. Demi disappears quickly, on another covert assignation with her teenage lover and father of her baby. Demi sits sadly in the cafe, without any credit on her phone. Sharon sees her and chatters on about teenage love, and lends her her own mobile to make the call. The chav scum R&J meet again later [yawn]. Mickey catches them and shouts a lot and tells her off.

Jake invites Chrissie out for a drink at lunchtime, and she says she is working. He says he doesn't give up easily. He brings flowers later, and Sharon offers to cover for Chrissie. She tells Chrissie they may be leaving soon, so make the most of it. She goes with Jake for lunch and he orders, adding a steak for the lady - make it rare because she's in a hurry.

Danny asks Sam out again, and then asks to borrow a tenner. Then he disappears when it comes for time to pay and Sam has to buy his lunch too. Danny tries to tell Sam that her job is rubbish and to skive off this afternoon so they can go to hers for some nookie.

Sharon arrives with tea for Dennis, and he is happily showing her the offer he just had for the bookies, the full asking price, which he has already accepted, as Pat arrives with her own plans. She hears all this, and is clearly disappointed and she goes to the Vic. Dennis hands Sharon some travel guides to Morocco and Japan, saying they need to work out where to go.

In the Vic, Sharon is working lunch, and goes to the cellar to get some beers, and trips on the lumpy concrete floor. She asks about the floor and tells Chrissie that she needs to get the builders back in, they did a terrible job.

Pat mentions to Pauline that she should be happy for Sharon, with the offer on the bookies.

Dennis arrives and tells Sharon there was a problem with the offer, the buyers' mortgage was withdrawn. Sharon tells Pat, *who then tells Dennis her offer, which she says hesitantly is five grand short, and Sharon tries to put Dennis off, but he says he's very happy with that, for a quick sale, and it's Pat, and he knows she'll do a great job. He gets drinks in, but not for Danny, who starts shouting at people to buy him drinks.

Jake and Chrissie are upstairs after lunch, and Chrissie suddenly tells Jake she's not interested, and he needs to go. There is commotion downstairs, where Danny is still shouting. Dennis is about to step in, but Jake grabs him and tells him to cool down. His attention is split, and he is annoyed that he can't find out what's up with Chrissie because he has to babysit Danny. Outside the Vic, he tells Danny he is fed up having to look after him, and if he's that keen - go and find Johnny.

Dot sees Pat, who thanks her for the encouragement. Dennis brings another round of drinks for Pat, to celebrate. He thinks Sharon is starting to pack for their trip, but obviously she is still very reluctant to leave the square.

Sharon is at the allotments thinking, and miserable about leaving, when Pauline brings her laundry. They chat about Sharon's childhood. Pauline says Sharon is making a mistake giving up her roots, and would Dennis do the same for her? She says yes, and Pauline says Sharon should tell him that she wants to stay.

Mon 4 Jul 2005

Jake is going for a job and Danny is skiving, so Alfie and Jake ask when he is going to pay back the money he owes. Jake asks Alfie to give Danny a job on the stall, and Alfie says he has, and he messed up. Danny says a donkey could work his stall, and then says there already is.

Dennis is lovingly (but less than competently) making breakfast for Sharon. He kisses her and suggests they go to Greece, because Sharon once mentioned that her mother told her it was like paradise.

Little Mo gets a large bunch of flowers, from "a secret admirer". She assumes it is Alfie and tries to stop Kat who is determined to uncover the culprit. Mo whispers something to Alfie, and he knows nothing about it. Kat discovers they were from Billy, and encourages him to keep pestering Mo.

Jake sees Pat and asks her if there is work going, but she says Danny is a liability. Jake says he is asking for him. Pat mentions she may buy the bookies, and tells him to come and see her in a few days.

Chrissie gets the fruit machine removed, but the man wants Den's signature. Sharon says she can do a good copy, but the man takes it anyway. Sharon asks what happened to get the crack, and Chrissie is uncomfortable. She's even more uncomfortable when she sees Zoe's bracelet is behind it.

Dennis is phoning round for cheap flights to Greece, and Pat asks him to call Andy's accountant who still has some of the books, due to an outstanding bill. Meanwhile, Pauline keeps trying to get Sharon to stay.

Jake comes into the Vic and Chrissie says she didn't think he was talking to her. He says he didn't want her to think he was pressuring her, and she says she didn't, and agrees to another go at the first date, and she promises she won't cry this time.

Sharon is encouraging about Chrissie's date, and says she does miss Den but she and Dennis can't be a couple with him around, and Chrissie should move on.

Danny helps on the stall, and hears that Johnny has planned a salsa night - which was one of his bright ideas a week ago. He goes to shout at Johnny, who says he also gave his 600 quid to go away afterwards. Danny goes to the Vic and shouts "whisky", and Jake, who has come to pick Chrissie up for lunch, says he has to go - Danny is just about to do something stupid. Danny won't tell Jake what, though. Chrissie is really annoyed, and when Jake comes back she ignores him.

Pat waits impatiently outside the bookies. Dennis arrives back in a cab with the books, having paid the bill, and also bought a bottle of champagne for them to celebrate. Dennis also has tickets for Greece, and shows Sharon. Pauline keeps on pestering Sharon to stay.

Kat invites Alfie to the salsa evening, and he hesitates until she says Mo will be there.

In Scarlet's, Billy asks for the job as bar manager, and then Danny comes in and apologises to Johnny, and asks for a deal - he says he had the salsa night idea, so can he be part of it - and he begs in a very pathetic and undignified manner, for another chance. Johnny says he is a liability, get out. Danny leaves, acting the girly little cry-baby, snivelling away. Sam sees him, which makes his humiliation complete [haha].

Tue 5 Jul 2005

In the Vic Chrissie marvels to Sharon at Dennis doing the washing and says she wishes she could find a bloke who was housetrained.

Jake tries to snap Danny out of his hungover slumber. Danny whines that Johnny is laughing at him. Jake tells him to put it behind him and move on - if he doesn't, Jake will disown him - salsa, that's not the best idea he can come up with is it?

He goes to apologise to Chrissie and tells Sharon his reasons, which are quite sincere, and when Sharon says no, he asks her to give him a break - he is the nice guy here, he didn't cheat on her or run off with someone, he just had family problems to deal with.

Ian tells Jayne off for playing computer games with Peter. He asks Ian to sign a permission slip to do karate instead of badminton, which only girls do. Ian says what's wrong with badminton? He used to play - it's aerobic and requires hand-eye co-ordination. Peter sulks. Jayne works on Ian. She says it will get Peter away from the computer games, but of course they are his children, she won't tell him what to do. Ian gives in. He tells Peter he used to box when he was a child, because he thought it was hard, but it was a mug's game, you just hurt each other. Peter says karate isn't like that it is about outsmarting your opponent. Ian says OK, he can do it.

Kat brings a shirt for Alfie to wear to salsa. Danny is asking him to go for a drink on Thursday, and Danny is put out when Alfie says he has said yes.

Jayne makes Ian go to salsa night as well. Yolande tries to persuade Patrick, who declines. Old Mo and Pat also discuss what they will be wearing.

Jake eventually gets to see Chrissie, who makes him grovel. She says Danny was behaving like a child, throwing his toys out of the pram. Jake says hasn't he humiliated himself enough? She says so he is prepared to do anything? Jake says yes, and Chrissie insists the only way he can make up is to come to salsa night with her.

As he leaves, Danny asks him to go out on Thursday, and Danny insists whinily. Jake says he is busy on Thursday, and Danny belittles "that bit from the pub, a bit of skirt - you can see her another time". After he whines like an annoying little 5-year-old brat some more, Jake gives in.

Sharon asks Dennis to go to the salsa and he sighs and says he'll do anything for her, ... but he's not dancing.

Chrissie goes to the cafe and sees Danny sulking, and she says she was stood up because of him, and she doesn't want it happening again, so keep away from salsa night. Danny says hard luck, Jake is going out with him on Thursday.

Jake goes to see Chrissie about Thursday - hoping to "rearrange". She says this hasn't got anything to do with Danny has it. Jake says, unconvincingly, no, he just hates salsa. Chrissie says he's just trying to get out of it. Jake says no, he's not, - OK how about now, let's go - does she have a problem with being spontaneous? Chrissie says OK, she will go out for one very expensive drink.

However, while Jake is gone, Danny gets hysterical and runs around looking for him, thinking Jake will stand him up. Danny tears down the salsa poster in the launderette, and Pauline tells him off for behaving like a child, and as he starts threatening her, Dennis walks in and takes control, throwing Danny out and then Jake sees them across the square. Chrissie is annoyed as Jake walks out of the date to look after Danny AGAIN! Jake asks Dennis to help him out, Danny is just upset, and Dennis says what sort of nutter picks on Pauline? Jake restrains Danny, behaving like a human straightjacket [which Danny really needs, people that unstable should be locked up for the good of the public.]

Billy asks Johnny for a job again and Johnny is irritated, and says the way to impress him is action, not chat, go and put more advertising posters up.

At home Ian sneaks a go on the computer game and Jayne catches him and they have a game. Peter comes in and has hurt his arm practising karate.

Dennis goes to the Vic and tells Sharon that he had to sort out Danny. She is worried and says he didn't hurt him did he? Dennis says furiously no, but he really wanted to - this place just brings out the worst in him.

Thu 7 Jul 2005

It's salsa night tonight. Kat intends to pull Alfie. Minty intends to pull - well, anyone. Garry says as long as they are half-cut that'll do.

Johnny tells Tina to leave Ruby a sandwich, as she will be home when they get back from tonight's salsa night at the club.

Danny is ranting neurotically and he jumps into Sam's chip van and drives it to park right outside Scarlet's (where there is a strange, mad, fake-foreign salsa teacher). Sam is horrified, saying you can't just drive it off, you need to secure things before you drive it anywhere. Danny is continually ranting, sounding drunk and hysterical. Johnny comes to ask Sam to move the van. Danny shouts randomly at him and Johnny looks at Danny and says nastily "to be honest, it's not the van I object to, it's the litter it brings with it". Danny is humiliated. Ian arrives later, and tells Sam she has to move the van, because he has a business arrangement with Johnny for their mutual convenience. Danny rants at him, and says he can't talk to women like that, even if he's paying them, and does he like paying women so he can humiliate them? Sam is horrified, and Danny gets slightly rough with Ian, ripping his incredibly OTT salsa costume!

Inside, Yolande and Rosie chat together, and Rosie is dull and stupid. Pauline, Pat and Old Mo chat together. Alfie, Garry and Minty talk with Dennis sitting at the bar. Dennis quickly goes to get Sharon, as he is taking her out to dinner to celebrate.

Keith is drunkenly boring people in the Vic, reduced to chatting to Patrick, who says Yolande needs to gyrate by herself some time, since they live and work together. Jake comes into the almost deserted pub and asks for an ice-cool bottle of champagne, and gives a pretty speech about how lovely Chrissie is and how he wants to say sorry. They have a very private and personal conversation, Jake explaining the previous situations, and telling her about the numerous foster parents they had, but they always got sent back to their useless father, and Danny always used to cling onto Jake's sleeve all the time. His phone goes and it's Alfie, calling from Scarlet's about Danny. Chrissie says she thinks that is why they get on, because of the bad places they have found themselves and things they have had to bury. Jake says kindly she can tell him.

Keith is very drunk and tells Patrick he can't write. Patrick drunkenly replies that he can't ride a bike. Keith explains how stabilizers work. Eventually they leave the Vic, and Jake and Chrissie, who have been waiting to close, stand up and Jake says he'd better make a move. He kisses Chrissie, who walks towards the stairs, so Jake locks the front doors and follows her.

In the club, Pauline drinks numerous cocktails and gets sozzled. The fake teacher chats her up and she tells him she knows he's fake. He drops the pretence and says he comes from Catford. He says a couple of hours of fantasy never hurt anyone, I'm happy, they're happy, and you are a woman of intuition and passion. Pauline replies no - I'm not, I'm Pauline Fowler.

Minty discusses - with Garry - the girl he danced with and says she had bad breath, and he could imagine it going further, having to pick up her mess around the house, etc, and no-one wants that. Garry looks a bit puzzled.

Danny now wanders into the club and Alfie tries to shut him up and take him away. Danny rants on loudly and drunkenly. Alfie tells him firmly that Johnny isn't here. Danny shouts some more, and then discovers no-one will serve him in the club. Danny starts smashing up the club and is ejected by bouncers, with Alfie caught in the cross-fire, and Little Mo runs to his side quickly. Danny shouts loudly in the dark square, then goes to Johnny's house and when the door isn't answered, he lights his cigarette lighter and shoves it through the letter box, with the fire soon taking hold of Johnny's house.

Back at the club, Johnny surveys the damage and sighs that Danny will do some real damage one day [and that day is today].

Fri 8 Jul 2005

People gather around the burning house. Tina tells Johnny that Ruby phoned to say she is staying another night at her friend's house.

Danny is wandering around in a hysterical strop. Jake rushes home to confront him, and Danny whines and says Johnny wouldn't take any notice of me, but I showed him though didn't I? Jake says they have to go, they are dead, he knows what Johnny did to Andy! Jake adds that Johnny knows it was him - he was seen. They pack and Nana catches them, and Jake tells them a hopeless lie about going to a stag night in Lanzarote. They sneak out, avoiding the tube as that is where he will be waiting. Jake tells Danny to wait, and he has to say goodbye to Chrissie. Danny whines that Jake is putting her first, and Jake replies that he's coming with him, isn't he!

In the square, there are people gawping at the disaster, and Jayne suggests to Ian that they open the cafe, it could be a bumper night.

Tina goes back to the club with Johnny and accuses him of not living up to his words about being legitimate. Johnny explains this is a repeat of the previous fire where his wife and daughter were killed. Johnny says everyone has to pay eventually. Tina realises what he means, and says so did the man who started the fire pay? Tina realises from his face that he killed the man. Johnny says "what goes around comes around". He says when he went in tonight, he promised himself if he found Ruby's body in the house, he wouldn't come out. He says with his reputation, he has to remain strong, and the sharks are circling, they will come for Ruby and her too if he doesn't deal with this. Tina isn't impressed, and says she doesn't want their future spoiled, Ruby didn't die, so he has a second chance to build a new life. She says if he kills Danny tonight, she won't be his alibi. She drinks in the club, wondering where Johnny has gone.

In the Vic, Chrissie tries to persuade Jake to front it out. He replies that Johnny doesn't bother with evidence, you know. Chrissie cries and Jake says sorry and they both say a tearful farewell. Chrissie says does Jake always have to rescue Danny, is that his life - and Jake says yes, Danny wouldn't survive on his own, if he doesn't look after Danny, who will? Jake wipes his face and leaves. Chrissie sobs.

Jake walks out and finds Danny getting into Johnny's car. Johnny tells him to go away, but Jake silently gets into Johnny's car with Danny. He tries to persuade Johnny that he will promise that nothing like this will ever happen again, and Danny is sorry. Johnny says it's no good. Jake keeps Danny from cracking up and they eventually arrive at a deserted forest, and Johnny locks Jake in the car, and takes Danny into the woods at gunpoint. Jake kicks a window out and runs after them. Danny begs pathetically.

In the cafe, Sharon offers to help Ian and Jayne, who are busy. Pauline chats to her and Sharon says she's already seen one house burn. Pauline apologises for forgetting about Tom, and tells Sharon she should tell Dennis the truth if she has such a good relationship with him.

Dennis gets back later and tells Sharon that he was watching her serve the tea and she looked so happy - and he adds perceptively, can she really leave next Friday and still be happy? She looks surprised at his perspicacity and doesn't answer, which presumably tells Dennis all he needs to know.

Little Mo is left alone and Alfie comes in to ask her why she avoided him in the club, and she says she was confused because when he was hurt, all she wanted to do was run to him and look after him, and he makes everything happen around him. Alfie says when he is confused, he thinks about only one thing - she needs to concentrate on what she really wants. What is the one thing she wants? She says him.

Jake catches up with Johnny and tells him that he is full of it [ie shit], and is he going to kill them both? There is no flyover: this won't go down as a suicide. Jake says look at Danny, he worships you, and you're going to kill him, he made a mistake, but no-one was hurt, is that fair? Johnny is just a thug who has caused much more pain to other people. Jake walks over and [incredibly] stands between Johnny's gun, which is at head height, and Danny. [Shame, Danny really really needs shooting, but it would be nice for Jake to stay for Chrissie. No, on balance, I think Danny is so bad, he has to die - even if he has to be shot through his brave/stupid brother. However, I suspect they may, like Den, be spared certain death if only for convenience and later use in EE storylines.]

Mon 11 July 2005

Tina finds the gun in Johnny's pocket and asks what he did to Danny. He tells her to put it back and not to go through his pockets. She says she meant what she said - she won't be his alibi.

Johnny and Tina are at Pat's and chat about the fire, and Johnny says pointedly the main thing to remember is that no-one got hurt. He kisses Tina, who is frowning in disbelief.

Mo and Alfie have a secret kiss and cuddle. They wonder if Danny had anything to do with the fire. Later he asks Nana where Danny and Jake are. She supposes they are in bed. Later she says they are in Lanzarote, but they are probably asleep - they went to a party. Alfie leaves a message for Jake (and elsewhere, Johnny is listening to Jake's answerphone).

Chrissie tells Alfie that it was Danny who set fire to the house, and Jake came to say goodbye last night. Alfie asks if anyone else knows, and asks her to keep it quiet. She says she's Den's Watts' wife, she can keep a secret.

Sharon is dismissive when Dennis mentions them leaving and says they can talk about it later. He asks her what's to talk about, it's all sorted, what is going on? Sharon avoids him. She tells Chrissie that she doesn't want to go now, and Chrissie says quickly what if Dennis goes without her?

Alfie goes to Johnny's house, and Johnny chats to him, saying the police and fire investigators are very efficient. Alfie asks what happened, and Johnny says there was a fire, if he didn't laugh about it he'd cry. They chat, and Alfie says sorry, and Johnny says he knows that Alfie really means it when he says it, but he has nothing to be sorry about. Alfie asks how it could have started, and there were a lot of people around who might have seen. Johnny says covertly that he thinks it was one of Tina's scented candles, but keep that strictly confidential, if she found out, she'd be inconsolable. Alfie invites Johnny to his place, and Johnny says surely it's a bit crowded there, Jake and Danny must take up a lot of space. Alfie says they have gone away. Johnny acts surprised. When Alfie has left, Tina says he lied to Alfie. Johnny replies that Alfie lied to him. he asks her to get his clothes cleaned and a toothbrush.

Meanwhile Old Mo says it was arson - it's obviously Danny, he torched the house, Johnny found out, Jake and Danny are missing.

Dennis visits Dot, who says she is about to wash the cupboard, and Dennis immediately offers to help. His phone rings and he asks her to see who it is, and when it's Sharon, Dennis frowns and says he will call her back.

Sharon talks to Pauline moaning that she feels pulled in two directions. NO ties, be free and enjoy being with each other. Pauline asks what Dennis says, and he will come round. Sharon says she doesn't want to risk him going without her. Pauline says it's where she belongs.

Dot tells Dennis it's none of her business, but he won't sort it out hiding here and ignoring her calls, and she'd be a lot happier if he and Sharon were settled. Dennis says they had plans, but Sharon has now thrown it all away, she has let him down. Dot says nobody's perfect ("mote in the eye", Matthew chapter 7, biblical quote).

Patrick tells Alfie that Danny owes him a drink, because of the fright he had, he saw Danny and thought he'd gone inside the house, because he was right there. He says he told Johnny that, and Danny owes him a drink for giving him such a shock. Then Alfie sees Billy taking Johnny's car to get the window mended.

Sharon looks around for Dennis. He walks into the Vic and he asks her if she has made up her mind. She asks him where he's been all day, and did he get everything he said he needed. He says he just wants to know why she has changed her mind. He says they agreed, see the world, be together. Sharon says she just doesn't want to go this week. he says if they don't go this week, they never will. He says unhappily it feels like a big step backwards, it reminds him of everything that happened before. She says all that horrible stuff is behind them, no Dad, Zoe. They planned to travel and stay somewhere they liked - so this isn't changing the plan, it is the plan. She promises they won't stay forever. Dennis doesn't look happy about it.

Alfie arrives at the club and asks if Johnny killed them. Johnny says this is his world, his rules. Johnny says Danny is an adult, he is responsible for his actions. Alfie says Danny is just a kid, not right in his head. Johnny asks if Alfie knows how his wife and daughter died - an arson attack. Alfie says he didn't know that. Alfie rants on, and Johnny eventually says they aren't dead, he doesn't know or care where they are - just away from here, that was the deal. Alfie says he is lying. Johnny says he wanted to, he intended to do it, but he didn't. They haven't even got black eyes, the only person who has been hurt in this is him. He thought his daughter was in that burning house, now get out of his club. Alfie says he never believed in damnation, but Johnny is damned! Johnny says maybe. Alfie leaves, and Tina was waiting by the door, and Johnny asks her if she got his toothbrush. She doesn't know what to believe. Johnny tells her that he has already told her twice. She can check the gun, it hasn't been fired [What?! He really thinks a woman like Tina can disassemble a pistol and check the barrel or firing pin and tell if it's been fired or not?].

Alfie goes home, and the answering machine is on with a message from Jake. Alfie calls Chrissie who is delighted, until Sharon tells her that she and Dennis are staying a bit longer.

Mo visits Alfie and while she is there, Kat arrives asking about Jake and Danny. Alfie says they are OK, and gets rid of her quickly. Mo says they have to tell Kat and Billy.

Tue 12 July 2005

Sharon gives Chrissie a bunch of flowers as thanks for putting up with them. Dennis says it's not for long, and Sharon looks doubtful.

Johnny and Tina are irritated by Billy and Pat acting like Jim and Dot. Johnny says he is a man of regular habits, and wants a bath in the morning. Billy takes ages and uses all the hot water. Tina is a bit miffed that Johnny wasn't polite this morning, and he says his house got torched, he isn't going to whistle a happy tune, so sue me! He laughs at Pat and Billy having marked all their favourite programmes in the TV guide.

Billy is cheerful, saying to Pat he got on well with Mo at salsa night, and he will ask her out - she is still his wife and he thinks there is a spark.

Ian is annoyed when Old Mo laughs at him in the cafe and bars her! Jayne comments on his Basil Fawlty behaviour. Ian moans that Jayne is always on the opposing side. Ian says he expects high standards, that's all. Jayne accuses him of being moody, and he sulkily leaves the cafe. He then takes his whole family to aikido classes and makes a total idiot of himself with his supposed knowledge from the internet. However, he is completely hopeless at all the moves, and everyone laughs at him. Peter and Lucy are horribly embarrassed, and Jayne looks dismayed.

Alfie and Mo have a secret chat and Mo says she will tell Billy at last. She can't string him along, but she says she won't mention Alfie just yet, it's not fair on anyone. She sees Billy and he agrees to meeting for a chat. She sees Alfie to tell him and says it will be difficult, and cruel, somehow.

Pat is ready to go to the solicitor's for the sale of the bookies, but Chrissie tells her that there is a change of plan.

Sharon asks Dennis if he has changed the airline tickets yet, and he hasn't unpacked yet. He says what's wrong with living out of a suitcase - wherever I lay my hat, and all that. Pat arrives to wail at Dennis. He says who told you that! He tells her they are only staying for a while, and it doesn't affect the sale - Chinese whispers eh? Pat is thrilled.

Meanwhile Chrissie keeps niggling at Sharon about Dennis not being happy staying. Sharon gets some boxes out of storage. Dennis is really unhappy when he sees a huge pile of packing boxes. Sharon says it's just knick-knacks. He says you could fill half a house with this. He says it looks like she is making a home. Dennis is really upset about this, but Sharon wheedles around him and says it's not forever, it is just to save a bit of money on the storage costs, and they can use it as a base for their travels, but wherever he goes, she goes. Dennis doesn't look convinced, and looks a bit lost, or at least afraid of losing what he thought he had.

Billy is cleaning the club and Johnny comments about Pat and Billy says she never says a bad word about Johnny. He brings wine for the meal tonight, and apologises to Pat for behaving like a "pig". Tina, Johnny and Pat have a meal together and Pat and Johnny reminisce about people they used to know (prostitutes, by the sound of it).

Meanwhile, Billy goes out trying to woo Mo. She tries to tell him that she has changed her feelings for him, and they have grown apart, and need to just stay friends. Billy is devastated. Pat guesses the story and asks him what happened, and when he says he is so depressed, he has no-one and nothing, she says he is a good bloke, and gives Billy a hug [!eek].

Chrissie asks Sharon about the argument with Dennis and she says there's no real problem, she loves him and wants to spend the rest of her life with him. Chrissie prompts her to talk about marriage. Sharon says yes, she supposes she has thought about it, who hasn't? The Sharon says if Dennis heard her talk like this he'd be running for the hills, and Chrissie looks thoughtful, and asks what Sharon would do then. She says (besottedly) that she'd run after him. Chrissie formulates her plan.

Later, Chrissie starts a sneaky conversation with Dennis about Sharon and her plans: she will have a ring on his finger in no time. Dennis asks what Sharon said, does she mean marriage. Chrissie says she may have said something in passing, and Dennis pins her down. Chrissie makes it sound very serious, and Dennis is really surprised. Chrissie says that is why she moved all her stuff in, she wants to get married from her family home - it's every girl's dream. Dennis whines in frustration that Sharon said she would be straight with him, and now she is running around talking about marriage, and hasn't said anything to him. He walks out, and Chrissie asks where he's going and he says sulkily [and so cute with it] that he doesn't know.

Thu 14 July 2005

Sharon finds the tickets haven't been changed yet, and shouts at Dennis to remind him, and Dennis replies he forgot, adding snappily "anything else"? Sharon asks what is wrong with him, and he says nothing. Dennis walks out, and Chrissie stirs some more. Dennis asks Chrissie exactly what Sharon said, and she says he is over-reacting, but says he's fed up with being made a mug of - first Zoe lied to him to make him stay, and he's the mug, now Sharon gives a casual excuse about being near her friends, so he says OK darling, whatever you want, but, like Zoe, she has a whole nother agenda, and he's really fed up with being a mug. Chrissie looks smugly pleased that her plans are working.

Chrissie is fed up that they are staying because she is trying to get shot of the Vic, and says to Amanda that she knows the tricks, she is finding the weak spot and picking at it, she figures if one goes, the other will too. She chatters to Sharon asking her to get Dennis to unpack, because it's messy in the room, and it's not like he hasn't had enough practice at packing and leaving places at the drop of a hat. Sharon looks thoughtful and fearful.

Pat chats to a quietly morose Dennis in the cafe and asks him to cover for her at the bookies, and he replies he has really had it with blonde women clicking their fingers and watching him jump, and he has things to do, so no. She leaves and he sits there thinking, and obviously just going over it and winding himself up more and more.

Billy tells Kat that it's over with Mo. Kat is surprised. Little Mo meets Alfie and says she feels guilty. A few minutes later, Kat asks Alfie about Mo and Billy. Then she goes to find Mo, who is moping at the park. Demi is having a secret meeting with Leo and Kat sees them and mentions it to Rosie later, saying she saw Demi with a boy, and it was really sweet. Rosie gets Keith and they rush over and find the pair snogging, and there is a furious chav scum row.

Little Mo tells Alfie he has to do with Kat what she has done with Billy. Alfie sees Kat in the Vic and asks her to come over for a private chat later. She asks why he can't say it here, and obviously guesses what is coming.

Jayne sees Ian practising aikido (the breathing part) in the cafe, and takes the piss out of him for taking it too seriously, also mentioning that they do have paying customers.

Garry whitters on about marriage to Patrick in the cafe, where Dennis is still sitting and quietly fuming. Garry goes on about women nest building, and once that ring is on their finger, the red hot loving stops and you have to do DIY, and it's all about taming the bloke. He goes on and on about once a woman is settled, you can't pry them out of their home. Dennis is still self-winding, and takes a deep breath so when Garry happens to say "marriage sucks, isn't that right, Dennis", he gets up furiously and walks out without a word.

Chrissie stirs a bit more and Sharon is tidying up when Dennis walks in. He asks her what she is doing, and he grabs his bag from her and tells her to leave it. Sharon tries to placate him, badly. She asks if he got the tickets changed. She says she will make it up to him - they can go to a nice Greek restaurant. Dennis is far too angry for any half-hearted meal out as consolation. He says it a shame you don't put as much effort into that as your other ideas. She says she got the hint, he's upset. Dennis replies "at least my hints are obvious." She asks him why he hasn't changed the tickets. He says because we're going now, right this minute. The conversation descends into a shouting match. Dennis shouts at Sharon is this part of her grand scheme? Sharon says they agreed to go some other time. Dennis says they planned to stay as long as it took to say "Up yours, Den". She says it's a compromise, and Dennis says "your idea of a compromise is you get everything you want, and I get a thumb shaped mark on my forehead." She says it's not, and he says OK, so let's go now - pack your toothbrush, knickers and hair straighteners and they can leave. Sharon says no, and Dennis replied "let me get this straight, I'm asking you to do something and you won't..." He turns away, and Sharon shouts "don't you walk away from me." Sharon says his temper may work with other women but it doesn't work with her. Dennis answers sarcastically "Yea, cos, you're sooo different from other women." Sharon says "I'd forgotten you could be like this, vile and hateful, and I've had a gutful of you, there are a lot of things about you - like your mess, it's like living with a tramp, just tidy up after yourself." Dennis shouts back, somewhat plaintively "I'm the one that's going nuts, I'm trying to stick to the plans we made". He accuses her of having the memory of a goldfish, and touches her chin, saying he's just checking for lobotomy scars.

Sharon throws a heavy glass at Dennis who easily dodges, steps towards her, and shouts back "shall I get a bit closer, have another go, is that the best you can do?" There is a pause, and Dennis shouts "are you getting your suitcase or not?" Sharon shouts back "I can't even stand to be in the same room as you, do what you want" and she tells him to move his bag, and he shouts the only time he will move it is when they leave. She storms out of the room, and the Vic. Dennis chases her downstairs and shouts after her sarcastically, "Oh don't go darling, not when we're getting on so well..." Sharon leaves the Vic and everyone in the pub hears the end of their row. Dennis looks through to the bar where all are gawping at them, and shouts "What!?" Pauline says it's Dennis's fault, but Sharon has a temper on her - she takes after Angie: the trouble is, he takes after Den. Dennis goes back and picks up his bag, passport and the tickets. At the door to the Vic, Dennis looks back, reprising the look he had when he packed and left before (but it isn't clear whether he has his luggage with him at this point). Dennis goes to the bookies (he is without his luggage) and takes some cash out of the safe, but leaves his mobile on the table. Pat shouts after him, but she's on the phone so doesn't pursue it. He gets a tube ticket.

Sharon goes home and finds Dennis's bag gone. She is frantic, saying Dennis has gone! She wails at Chrissie that he has taken his bag, the tickets and the passports. [So two passports?]

Fri 15 July 2005

Sharon runs around frantically, turns out her purse and phones Dennis. Pat answers it, explaining that Dennis left the phone there, he dashed in, got a lot of cash and left. Chrissie quickly encourages her to go after Dennis, if he's got her ticket, he wants her to go with him. She says she will call the airport to leave a message for him while Sharon packs - she can still get there in time for the flight they were supposed to catch. It being the Vic, interfering busybody Pauline interrupts and tells Sharon she shouldn't leave. Sharon changes her mind, saying that if she chases him this time, she will always be frightened he will leave her again. Chrissie does a brilliant persuasive job, says Dennis has been trying to tell her he is very unhappy here for a while now, what is she waiting for? Pauline tells Sharon that Dennis is unreliable, and he's always been like that. Chrissie says she has to take a risk - have faith in him, she can't let her great love slip through her fingers. Chrissie says the difference is she knows where Dennis is, she shouldn't be frightened of anything, she has to go after him, have faith and live a little. Sharon suddenly agrees, and gets the tube to Heathrow, thanking Chrissie for her help.

Keith asks Rosie if Demi is still shagging Leo, and he blames it all on Leo. There is a loud shouting match with the three of them at the scum house. Demi claims she is in love, and is he going to lock her in a convent?

Dennis is back at the bookies, and Pat asks him what he spent the money on. She also tells him Sharon phoned and says she sounded hacked off, and Pat asks if they had a tiff. He says he thought she wanted some time off, so she can go now if she wants. Pat thanks him and goes to the tube station, bumping into Sharon with her luggage. She says that's a bit drastic (ie leaving) she is sure they can make it up, and Sharon says that's where she's going, and Pat tells her that Dennis is at the bookies.

Kat goes round to see Alfie, as arranged, but Nana is acting strangely and refusing to go to her doctor appointment, and Kat helps her, because she couldn't get dressed. Alfie realises that Kat is incredibly useful to help Nana and can't tell her that he wants to dump her after this kind act. He says what he wanted to ask was if Kat would help him with Nana sometimes.

Sharon walks into the bookies office, and gives Dennis a huge whack around the face, saying she thought he had gone.

Dennis, slightly cross, closes the office door behind them and says the customers loved that - the latest bet is now whether he will get out of here with that (heavy object) wedged in his skull - and what's she going on about. Sharon says he deserved it - what a sick joke, hiding his stuff, so she would think he had gone. Dennis is totally mystified, and explains, "I tidied up, you silly cow, you were going on about me being messy like it was the crime of the century." Sharon looks confused and stutters "the passports, the tickets, the money." Dennis says it cost an arm and a leg changing the tickets, he had to get the money from somewhere. Dennis understands and talks reassuringly, he says he does everything she wants, he even tidied up that glass she chucked at him, so he gets belted round the face for it! He says reasonably "do you seriously think I'd do something like that, go poncing off down the tube with a knotted hanky just because of a row...." He says we've had rows before, we've had epic rucks. Sharon says not like that. He laughs with relief now the whole story is clear. Dennis says did she think they would never fight, that it was going to be all elves and pixies? He says "we haven't suddenly become different people, we'd die of boredom, and you a right royal pain in the neck sometimes: yes we're gonna fight, I am gonna say out of order stuff and you're gonna chuck things at me, but I'm not going to walk out on you." He pours a whisky and hands it to her. Sharon says she nearly didn't come after him. Dennis says so what, he only went to the travel agents, he would have been back in a couple of hours. Dennis gives her the drink and apologises quietly, saying "some of what I said was out of order." Sharon replies he was spoiling for the fight, why? Dennis sits down and says he knows all about her plans the meringue and bouquet, the whole wedding thing, Chrissie told him. Sharon says she never said that, she doesn't want that. Sharon says is this what this is all about, some conspiracy theory, from something Chrissie said. Dennis says OK, OK, well Chrissie did say it was nothing. Sharon says he is paranoid. Dennis all right, so you don't want to get married... (pause, and he drinks some whisky)...why not... Sharon says, been there done it, it was a slow motion car crash. Dennis says but that was to Grunt. Sharon pointedly corrects him, Grant. He says "so why don't you want to get married to me?" Sharon hesitates, and Dennis looks at her. She half smiles and says playfully "well, you're an evil tempered, foul-mouthed arrogant pig who can't pick up his clothes and I hate you.." Dennis replies playfully, "yea but putting aside my good points, I think I'm quite a catch, I've got a lot going for me, I've been educated at some of the finest establishments in the country, I've got this beautiful bookies, you can have free pens whenever you want, how can you resist?" Sharon says "are you asking me?" Dennis says "let's get married..." Sharon flirts back "why should I?" Dennis says because it would be a laugh, we'd be good at it, and .. there's all that love stuff. Sharon asks if he is going to get down on one knee, and has a ring. Dennis says no, but there's plenty on the high street for 12.99. Sharon asks why the sudden change of heart? Dennis smiles and says "We're both in this for the long haul aren't we, let's make it official, let's seal the deal. Besides, I fancy having a missus - I fancy my missus, marry me... " and he smiles at her very endearingly.

At the scum house, Demi tries to persuade her parents to allow her to see Leo - meanwhile there is a big ruck in the square, with Leo trying to beat up Darren. Minty and Garry stop the fight, and Ian gets Keith and suggests calling the police. Keith says he will get a restraining order to keep Leo away from the family - if he beats up Darren he will move on to Demi next, then the baby.

Alfie has to tell Little Mo that he didn't tell Kat about them. Meanwhile, Kat tells Billy that Little Mo was crying earlier about a bloke she fancied and that must be him. Billy can't believe the mixed signals he is getting.

Chrissie phones her solicitor and tells her she can sell the pub now. On cue, Dennis and Sharon walk in giggling happily. Chrissie asks what they are doing here, and Dennis says "moment of insanity, I only went and proposed", and Sharon says she can't wait to tell Chrissie all about it. Chrissie puts on a quick insincere smile.

Mon 18 July 2005

Kat is putting on far too much garish make-up so she looks like an ancient harlot: she must be aiming to seduce Alfie tonight. Mo tells Alfie in the cafe that he will know the right moment - there will be a sign - you'd see something or hear something that reminds you of the other person.

Kat goes to invite Alfie for lunch. He says he doesn't know what he wants. She says the day he does there will be a big parade. [They just stole that line from OMWF]. Alfie looks up and says stupidly he is looking for a sign.

Chrissie is advertising the Vic for sale, but rings off when Sharon arrives. Chrissie says she is pleased to see Sharon happy, ignore the busybodies, and anyone who brings up the old brother-sister line. Sharon is suitably dejected, and Chrissie quickly says she thought that was why they had kept it secret.

Sharon asks Dennis about making the announcement, and he says today if you like, he doesn't care what people say. Chrissie tries to put them off, saying it's too short notice to arrange a party, how will they let people know? Dennis takes Sharon's hand and says "are you kidding, it's obvious!" They immediately go to the launderette to tell Dot, who is genuinely delighted for him. Pauline interrupts, saying that they can't because they are ..... people will talk. Dennis looks irritated and says "we're what?" Pauline says they can't what about her father, and they say they weren't going to invite him anyway. Pauline says people will have something to say about that too. Dennis is not very irritated and says only old women with nothing better to talk about, oh of course this is Walford, it's too much to expect people to mind their own business. But it breaks the mood, and he says come on Sharon, let's do it another time. Dot looks disappointed. Pauline goes to the cafe and gossips to Pat, telling her that Dennis and Sharon are getting married, and Sharon has no sense.

Dennis and Sharon grin and says that everyone will know they are getting married by now. Sharon asks if he is sure he wants to sell the bookies? She says then there is something to come back to, an income to rely on... Dennis you are glazing over. He says no, he's listening, but they can get the cash and go anywhere. She says and after all, it is where he proposed, and he asks if she wants him to put up a blue plaque. Dennis says Pat will kill him, but OK.

Chrissie tries to keep chipping in and is furious with the outcome (why doesn't she just ask them to buy the Vic?). She gets an estate agent in telling them that discretion is vital. Chrissie hears Sharon arrive and quickly shuts the door and says she has a friend in there, a man. The agent asks her about the paperwork, and whether the documentation is all signed over by her husband, and she says it's fine but looks worried.

Alfie and Mo chat romantically. Kat pokes around in Alfie's stall and leaves a note in his bag, to look at the sky for a sign, which he wonders about.

Dennis goes to tell Pat, who congratulates him. He tells her he isn't selling just yet, and Pat takes it really well, but she's privately upset. Sharon goes to see Pauline who slags Dennis off horrendously and makes a foul face (even more evil than usual, that is). Sharon says he's not like that, he can be quite romantic like that. Then Pauline sees Pat and makes her a cup of tea, spreading more poisonous remarks about Dennis and how nasty he is when Pat mentions that he's not selling now. They reminisce about Pat's 21st birthday, where she and Pete made an effort and Pat stood them all up. Pat says it was a good friend, in trouble.

Leo's mother comes to see the scum family, and has an injured wrist. They all make the "like father, like son" jokes about violently abusive men. She says they are going to move miles away to keep the kids apart, never to see each other again. Keith makes her a sling for her arm. Demi asks about Leo later, and Rosie tells her that they are talking to his mum about it.

Alfie keeps on getting the secret messages, which are arranged by Kat, but he clearly thinks they are from Mo.

Dennis is horrified that Sharon went to apologise to Pauline on his behalf. She says it was her second home at Michelle's, when her home was just a few rooms over a pub with an alcoholic and womanizer. Dennis says sadly there are worse ways to grow up.

Kat gives scum kid Darren a fiver to release some heart-shaped balloons and send a text message to Alfie.

Dennis goes to see Pauline and she immediately says he is making Sharon unhappy with his comments about this wedding. He says what, by having a pop at her in public about her choice of husband. She tells him he has to show Sharon some affection and say how much this wedding means to him. He says you're the one who told her that she'd get run out of town by peasants with torches. Dennis says he came to apologise, personally he doesn't give a stuff what she thinks, but Sharon seems to think it's important, so for her sake, he is sorry he upset her. Pauline sends him off to arrange champagne and to get Sharon to go to the Vic, while she arranges the announcement party. He does a jokey salute and says yes ma'am.

Dennis and Sharon are in the cafe, and he tells her to go for a drink in the Vic, which she finds odd, since she has just bought coffee. Of course, everyone is there, and Dennis surprises Sharon, saying he is announcing, "for those unlikely few who managed to miss the bush telegraph here (Pauline), that this beautiful lady, who I love, has kindly consented to be my wife." They have a toast and Dennis kisses her lovingly.

Alfie goes to the phone box, as arranged by his mystery notes, and is horrified when Kat arrives and asks him if he has seen any signs! Alfie says "what, that was you?" Kat says just one date, see how it goes, you owe me that much. Alfie says but... and she promises to keep it quiet - totally secret, just the two of them. Alfie agrees and Kat kisses him. When she has gone, he kicks the phone box.

Tue 19 July 2005

Old Mo thinks that Kat is dating Alfie again, and Mo asks her about it. Kat says of course not, but it's a secret. Mo asks Alfie if he told Kat last night, and tells him that it's OK because Kat met some bloke, and she is dating him on Thursday. Mo asks Alfie out on Thursday, and Alfie tries to get out of it. Little Mo thinks it means Alfie wants Kat after all, and Alfie tells her it's not that - he can't wait, so tonight instead? Mo says she can't get ready in time (!!!!). Alfie tries to give Kat an excuse but she says she wrote the book on excuses, she knows he is lying. Later, Mo asks Kat more about her date, and Mo lets slip to Kat that she is seeing someone who is separated as well - and on Thursday.

Pat offers to help Sharon with the wedding and Sharon kindly asks her if she is OK about the bookies. Sharon says she isn't having a fancy dress, it's only a registry office.

Amanda arrives asking for Chrissie, and says haughtily to Sharon that she must be Den Watts's princess, she lived in Spain and everyone knows Den Watts where she came from. She has a private conversation with Chrissie, who explains some of the situation - that she wants to sell the Vic but Den isn't around and she hasn't got his signature. Amanda says she will find Den, and make him sign. Chrissie stops her, and tells her that she won't find Den this time. Amanda tells her to get rid of Den's family for a start, and Chrissie says she can't.

Amanda tells Chrissie that it's weird that a brother and sister are getting married. Dennis tells Chrissie to keep her friend quiet if she knows what is good for her. Amanda says it's her job to give advice, and it's not surprising that they are keeping it quiet. Pat and Pauline persuade Sharon to have a big wedding, just to show she isn't ashamed. They get rid of Pat, who is a bit disappointed, and tries to get involved, as she won't be needed at the bookies for much longer either. Pauline later realises that Pat feels left out and useless. They all go to the Vic and have a discussion about a huge wedding - which seems to be getting out of hand.

Amanda really hates Sharon, (because she knew Chrissie and Den in Spain for years), and tells Chrissie that Sharon acts like she owns the Vic, and she continues to bitch nastily about the wedding plans. She says to Pauline, it's not like Den is losing a daughter - he is also gaining a son, or is she getting confused?

Dot has her theory driving test, which is a computer simulation, but she hasn't watched the DVD that she was given as they don't have a DVD player. Dot gets hysterical and screeches a lot in the test room. All the other poor people taking the test look around and the overseer tells her to keep quiet. Dot runs out and hides from Jim, who goes to ask Dennis if he has seen her. Dennis says jokingly, yes she's sinking all her savings into the next race at Doncaster. Jim tells him to get over the Vic, where they are planning a spectacular wedding for him. Dennis is horrified! He finds Dot in the square and kindly asks what happened. She complains about the computer, and he says it's only one day - like a wedding (deep sigh). He says "Is Wembley stadium finished - because if it is, Sharon will be booking it." Dot says if it's getting too big, he should tell Sharon. Dennis says OK, well he'll buy her a sherry in the Vic. Dot declines, and Dennis jokes "why not - you're not driving anywhere?"

Dennis asks Sharon about the rumours about a huge wedding. She says why not a church to show everyone. Dennis says he doesn't care what people think. Sharon says she wants something that everyone can see. Dennis smiles and asks why can't they just invite people they care about - Dot and Jim, and Pauline and Ian for her. However, he adds, if it's what she wants, it's only one day, it's OK. Sharon says no, he is right, all she wants is him.

Nana Moon tells Alfie she has to go to bingo to win a cruise, and it's on Thursday. Alfie uses this excuse when he is in the Vic with Kat and Mo, to say that he can't go out on Thursday. However, Kat points out that the flyer is for last week. Alfie says never mind, they can go to bingo anyway. Nana refuses, saying she no longer wants to go. Alfie sighs.

Thu 21 July 2005

Alfie has to work out how to have dates with Kat an Mo at the same time. He asks Ian, saying he is in a real dilemma. Stacey is ill so one of Kat or Mo has to stay in alone to look after her. Charlie says they will toss a coin, and Mo loses, so Kat gets her date. Alfie talks to Mo, who thinks this is another sign that they shouldn't be together, so he persuades her that it is OK. Mo says OK, they can still do it, he can come over to her place, Stacey will be in her room.

Pauline and Yolande arrange a party for Pat. They decide on a 60s theme since Pat missed her own 21st birthday, and it's a surprise. Dennis comes into the bookies and Pat asks why he's there today. Dennis smiles and says just go - and Jim picks her up to take her home, to pretend it's her 21st birthday. Pauline and Yolande have a costume for her, and then they go to the club. Johnny is shocked at the arrivals, asking where is the birthday girl, and Pauline says it's Pat - she missed her own 21st. A look passes between him and Pat when Mo and Yolande go on about it. Pat goes to the office and tells Johnny he must have thought she was having a go, but she didn't know about it. Johnny says it's OK, and says he wants to get her the drink he couldn't on her real 21st. Johnny says he didn't know it was her birthday, and Pat says it wasn't the sort of problem that could keep even if he knew. They discuss the problem, which was a back-street abortion for one of Pat's friends, and she was a waitress, and ended up with her new job/life - running Johnny's girls. Pat feels bad about the job, but says she felt like she was helping the girls, but that day changed her whole life, and started her down that road. Johnny says he almost took the job offer back - he had different ideas. Pat assumes that he thought it was too good a job for her, and Johnny says he didn't want to be her boss, he wanted a different relationship. Pat is amazed. Johnny says why not - you had men crawling all over you in those days - but he saw what she did to men - he thought she could have eaten him alive! He says she's not the only one who thinks about what might have been. Anyway, he looks a bit embarrassed and says she had better get back to her party - but one more thing, he didn't do, apologise for ruining her birthday, and he kisses her on the lips. Johnny goes back out and says sorry for hijacking the birthday girl - so he will make amends by giving them al free drinks all night.

It's one of those stupid slapstick episodes, Alfie gets the candles lit and runs between his place and Mo's place. Kat arrives dressed like an ugly old hooker. Alfie lies that his electrics are broken. Alfie goes to Mo's and does the same excuse, saying that the fuse has gone at hers, and he will sort it. He gets two sets of dinners from Ian, and his absences are (totally inadequately) explained by going to fetch the next course. Ian asks Alfie for a favour in return, and Alfie is in a huge hurry, so agrees to "anything". It's Bobby's birthday tomorrow.

Alfie's two slap up meals work wonders on both the women, although Kat is keen to skip the main course and go to bed. Both Mo and Kat are delighted at the end of the dates and discuss it with each other. Kat sees the remains of Mo's dinner, and asks about her fella. Kat lies that she had to leave early because the bloke's flatmate came back.

At Alfie's, he is taking some indigestion remedy after the two meals, and Nana offers to rustle him up some food(!). He gets two text messages from the pair of the women. Nana asks astutely what Alfie's "friend" did about the two women he had - it will end in tears. Alfie says yes, but not yet.

Fri 22 July 2005

Old Mo has a hangover and goes on to Charlie about Pat and Johnny.

Alfie discovers what his payment is to Ian, and it's to dress up to entertain Bobby at his party. However, Kat has a clothing emergency at her stall, after Alfie and Kat were playing with water pistols and ruined some special order, so Alfie feels he has to help her out washing and ironing the clothes. Little Mo helps out by conning Billy into doing Alfie's job as a dog at the party. Jayne is worried about the coming holidays, having to look after the kids, when she is not a real mum. Sonia says she is, but she won't have any kids to look after this summer. She suggests Jayne get a kid of her own, and Jayne replies Ian has had the snip. Sonia says it's easily reversible.

Rosie tries to keep Demi quiet with gifts. Darren tells her that they have all lied to her about him, and his family are taking him away permanently, not just for a holiday.

Amanda tells Chrissie there is no way she can sell the Vic, Den has to sign it himself. Chrissie says it's just a simple scrawl, anyone could do it, this is ridiculous. Amanda points out that it needs to be witnessed by a solicitor and Chrissie makes sad eyes at her. Amanda looks horrified, but the strength of her anti-Den feelings mean that she sighs and eventually agrees, even though it's fraud, because Chrissie says only they would know. Chrissie practises Den's signature, and almost gets caught by Alfie popping into the kitchen.

Eventually she takes a deep breath and forges the signature on the deeds, which fortunately turns out perfectly. They both giggle, and Amanda countersigns.

The party goes well, Ian compliments Jayne and says it was brilliant. Billy is great, and Little Mo enjoys it, and suddenly decides that she likes Billy. Meanwhile, Kat kisses Alfie as thanks for the clothes help and he looks confused too. [Nooooo! Not again! Make your tiny little minds up, all of you!]

Mon 25 Jul 2005

Dennis jokes a little about Ian's aikido class. He and Sharon drink to a quiet wedding, while fending off the locals, who are all thanking them for the invite to the engagement party on Friday ... and the wedding too. He isn't happy, and suggests they do the wedding in secret, and says he will go to the town hall and see if they can do it quickly, who knows they could even get married on Friday before the "engagement party".

Alfie and Mo flirt and Alfie asks Mo to take a card to Kat. But she says it will help Kat see it's OK to move on (with her new bloke) if he takes it himself. Alfie's predicament gets worse. Kat gives him a flirty shoulder massage. He jumps up and escapes, but has to promise to come back later for the full thing. He also promises Mo to go with her on a picnic, so gets Ian to cover, lying to Ian that he has a meeting with the market inspector.

Sharon goes to get party things from Dot, who goes on about the wedding and Sharon lets slip that Dennis has "his own ideas." Dot tells Jim to get her some cakes, as she wants to invite her to tea to talk the ideas through properly. Dot gets Sharon there for tea on the pretence of ironing her tablecloths, and tells her to bring Dennis too.

Darren arranges to get Rosie and Keith out, as well as the baby, and tells Demi she can have the house to herself and Leo if she likes. She is grateful but full of trepidation about what will happen when she tells Leo. He doesn't believe her when she tells him that his parents are taking him away to split them up. He says it was Darren who lied.

Alfie and Mo have a snog in the park on her picnic. Mo happens to mention kids and asks Alfie if he ever thought of having his own. This is a bit awkward and embarrassing, not sure why.

At tea with Dot and Jim, Dennis asks what it's really about. Dot says she thinks that a marriage needs to include full communication by everyone. Dennis is a bit sharp, saying this is what they want. Dot says but what is it Sharon didn't say? Dot asks Sharon again, and Dennis walks out crossly. Jim goes after Dennis. Dennis says they have talked for ages. Jim says that's where he's gone wrong, what you thought was sorted may not be any more - you have to listen carefully to every little nuance. Sharon is a woman, and all women change their minds.

Meanwhile Dot tells Sharon to apologise to Dennis for her, and Sharon says "normally" she never holds back, but sometimes it's easier to go along with what they want. Dot says Dennis won't thank her - he doesn't want a doormat, or he wouldn't have gone out with her in the first place. Dennis walks in and apologises to Dot, and offers to take over the washing up. Sharon says to Dennis she's thought about it and doesn't want to do it in secret. Dennis smiles and says OK, anyhow, there's always payback, any time he wants something, he can bring up the wedding.

Ian goes to deliver Alfie's apology and excuse to Kat, and finds a very dodgy massage-parlour look. Kat is embarrassed and asks him not to say anything, and he says of course, he knows all about patching up a marriage, and he hopes it works out for her. However, later he sees Alfie coming back with Mo and he confronts Alfie about his lie about the "meeting". Ian points out he is two-timing, with his wife, and wife's sister! Alfie says he doesn't want to hurt either of them - what does Ian think he should do? Ian says just decide!

Tue 26 Jul 2005

Demi gathers together some basic provisions and goes out with her baby, putting lipstick on (a waste of time, it can never make her look anything other than a plain, freckly little child) after she has got clear of the house. She meets her horrid little boyfriend in the allotments and they break into a shed and have a picnic and take photos of each other. They discuss how unfair it is.

Garry and Minty both flirt with a delivery girl called Emma, who isn't impressed by their crap chat up lines. She asks about the car and gives them advice about the car they are fixing, since she is a qualified mechanic. Later, Minty tells Garry she definitely winked at him. Then she walks into the cafe to ask directions, and Minty knows the answers and talks to her for ages. She thanks Minty, but calls Garry "Barry". At home, Minty is cooking and Minty goes on and on about Emma. Minty says she seems like the sort of girl you can talk to, get to know, and Garry says OK, he will try the romance angle, and see who gets furthest. Garry gets a bit pissed off that Minty is calling him shallow and obvious, and Minty is pissed off that Garry thinks he can never get girls, and they argue a bit.

Billy is trying to sort out a problem at the club. He is distracted by Sam, who comes to give him good news - that she has been promoted from Ian's chip van to the chip shop. He is unimpressed, and she realises that it's a bit of a pathetic thing to be so delighted about, but she is just glad she didn't mess up a job this time. They chat a bit more and Billy moans a bit about Mo and how disappointing it is that she only wants to be friends.

Sam says she isn't working tonight, so invites Billy over for a meal, as they are both at a loose end. At dinner, they chat away about an old relative, and Billy says Sam must have been only seven at the time. Sam says the Mitchell family really thought they were something. Billy says there was a pecking order even in the family - her parents, Grant and Phil, and the rest were second class. Billy says what did Peggy and Grant and Phil do to make them a "real Mitchell" and you not one? He says Sam has changed a lot [the head transplant, for a start!]. Sam says mostly hit people, and she can't believe that Phil may go down for it. Billy points out very reasonably that she sounds exactly like her mum - if anyone else breaks the law, they are in trouble, but if a Mitchell does it, then woe betide anyone who blames them. Sam is a bit quiet, and Billy says what did he say - she hasn't done anything wrong has she? Billy adds perceptively, noting her nervousness, that it wouldn't matter if she had, he would still stand by her.

Thu 28 Jul 2005

Sharon and Dennis are in bed at midday (mmm) and she tells him she needs a ring and they have to get up and do things - the wedding dress etc. Dennis says it's a shame her Mum isn't about, but Chrissie or Pauline could help. Sharon remembers her Mum being upset by her Dad, and Dennis says reassuringly he isn't him. He adds sweetly "you can trust me Sharon, you can tell me anything, you're never going to be alone again." She reminds him to sort out a best man.

Old Mo tells Little Mo she should take it further with her new bloke, look at Kat. Mo asks Kat, who says she hasn't done it yet, but they should perhaps take it up a gear. Mo says you can tell if he is right from a kiss. Kat says the last one to score does the washing up. [hmm "lucky" Alfie]

Meanwhile, Nana has a cough and says she needs a holiday - maybe Hastings. Ian reminds Alfie he has to choose, he knows what lies do to marriages, tell the truth - it will set you free. Alfie invites Mo to lunch to talk.

Alfie makes up a lie about doing his books to avoid work and Kat.

Dot is revising for her driving test with Sonia helping her with the computer.

[Most exciting moment of the week! Dennis has had a wardrobe makeover: he isn't wearing one of his three black/grey/brown T-shirts. A plain white T-shirt really suits him but the pale blue shirt is a bit dodgy.]

In the bookies, Dennis chats about best man to Patrick, Minty, Billy and Garry, who goes on and on about strippers. Patrick suggests he needs someone with experience. Later, Dennis asks Jim, saying that Dot is the closest he has to family.

Pauline chats with Sharon who is thinking about her mother and father as she looks at wedding brochures. Sharon tells her about a time when Den ripped off Angie's ring and threw it up into the roof. She goes looking for it.

Alfie tidies up Nana's old photos, ready for his secret lunch with Mo, and Stacey tells Nana that she is taking her for a walk. Mo gets dressed up and meanwhile, Kat arrives at Alfie's unexpectedly. She entices him to bed! As they are snogging in his bedroom, Little Mo arrives at the door - she gets nervous and kisses him quickly and makes it clear that she wants to sleep with him. Alfie juggles the two women for a bit as they both ask to have sex with him [can't decide whether it's yeuk or yawn].

Dot passes her theory driving test, and there is a cancellation next week for the practical. Jim tells her that Dennis asked him to be best man.

At the Vic, Sharon is sniffling a bit and Dennis asks what is wrong, and Chrissie says it is to do with Den. Dennis says "I thought this was all dead an buried" [haha]. Dennis kisses Sharon and gives her an engagement ring and says reassuringly that they don't need him, or anything from him, or to see him again.

Fri 29 Jul 2005

While she is discussing the party food, Sharon tells Ian she's disappointed that hardly anyone she knows from her youth will be at the party tonight. She is looking for a photo to put on the cake, and sadly looks at one of Den. She hands the box of photos to Ian, saying he can pick one.

Alfie is doing something annoying and stupid to avoid Mo and Kat meeting, and to keep them both happy. He finally tells Nana, and she says exactly that, and he has to choose. They pack for their holiday.

Ian tells Dennis that Sharon is a bit miserable and tells him to take her out of the pub for a bit, so he can arrange something. Dennis takes her for a walk and asks Sharon if she is OK, and asks her what he can do, if she is missing anyone, after all they haven't got anyone else. Unfortunately it is exactly who they do have in common that's the problem.

Chrissie only just gets to the phone in time to stop the estate agent talking to Sharon, who arrogantly says she can help when they ask for the landlady. Chrissie is told that a buyer is keen, but must see it at 7pm tonight. When he arrives, he assumes Sharon is landlady and asks "Mrs Watts?" - and she says "Miss Watts", and Chrissie just manages to drag him away from Sharon in time. He's very keen to buy, and tells Chrissie not to accept any other offers until she has heard his.

Demi meets Leo, who tells her he is running away so he doesn't have to go to Scotland. He says she has to come with him, and the baby. Keith asks Demi what she's doing, and she asks him if he is telling the truth abut Leo, and he lies through his teeth that he is. She decides he is lying and agrees to go away with Leo. In the Vic, Rosie and Keith discuss how good it is that Leo is half way to Scotland too. Meanwhile, Darren tells Demi she will have to take the housekeeping money in the jar. Leo's mother arrives in the Vic, and berates Rosie and Keith for telling Demi.

Garry and Minty order some pointless motor parts, obviously just to get Emma the delivery girl to come round. Ian tells her they are in the Vic, and she arrives, to Minty's delight. Ian asks the two of them which one ordered the wrong parts, and Minty admits it. Emma gives him her phone number, saying next time he wants to see her, call.

The blokes all ask Dennis why Jim is best man, and Dennis says he doesn't have much choice around here. Jim asks Sharon if she has heard from her father recently. She says no, and Pauline pesters her about it.

Ian makes an announcement and speech about Sharon, and drops a load of balloons, each with photos of her absent friends and family. She runs upstairs upset about Den being missing, and she blames Ian, who says he found a good one of her and Den. She cries that she just wants her Dad here, and Ian hugs her. Dennis comes looking for her and Ian leaves. He asks her worriedly if she is having second thoughts about him, and she says of course not, but she has decided she wants Den to give her away at her wedding. Dennis looks stunned.

Mon 1 Aug 2005

Dennis gives Sharon the wedding rings, but tells her he doesn't want Den at their wedding. Sharon tells Pauline that Dennis hit the roof when she told him. Pauline says he will come round, it's not wrong to want her own father at her wedding, and tells her to ask Chrissie.

It's Martin's 20th birthday [I forgot he existed!], and Sonia and Pauline both plan surprise birthday parties. Sonia lies to Pauline that they have nothing planned. Pauline invites Sharon and Ian, and asks Ian to do the cake.

The scum family bemoan the disappearance of Demi, and the 50 quid she stole from the housekeeping tin. Darren keeps quiet, but phones Demi's mobile. He goes home and discovers that Mickey found Demi's phone, but can't check the messages because he doesn't know the pin number. Darren breathes a sigh of relief. The police arrive to take details and notice his suspicious behaviour. He admits that they may be in "South London" [well that narrows it down then].

Dot's driving test is this Thursday. Jim makes a trite comment and Dot gets all upset and nervous about it, so refuses to tell anyone. Jim says he can keep a secret [since when?!].

Sharon starts secretly trying to track Den down in Spain, but fails to tell Dennis this, when he tells her he loves her, and asks her if they are OK. Dennis is being very affectionate and romantic, and unsuccessfully tries to avoid spending the evening at Pauline's party.

Pauline manages to spring the party on Martin, so Sonia's romantic dinner is wasted. At the party, Dennis accidentally overhears Sharon talking about finding Den, and he simmers for a few minutes as the party games continue, then he asks Sharon quietly. Dot's driving test secret is revealed and Dot is furious with Jim. Dennis tells Sharon she lied to him, and starts to get upset, and more so when she tries to smooth things over [has she learnt nothing, that always makes him mad!]. He knocks over the birthday cake as he storms out, and Pauline is annoyed. Sharon chases Dennis back to the Vic, and says she needs to find Den. He asks why. She say if they talked, if he sees how much they love each other.... Dennis shouts that he doesn't want him here, and Sharon says she does. Dennis says she still hasn't told him why, and she says because he brought her up, made her feel safe. Dennis replies sarcastically "his little princess, so he could dress you up? Do you know how he makes me feel? Empty, cold and full of hate!" He asks why does she keep using him to push him away? Dennis says as far as he is concerned, Den is dead to him.

Dennis apologises, and Sharon says she wants to find Den. But Dennis is adamant, and says quietly that if she does, there won't be a wedding.

Tue 2 Aug 2005

Chrissie is chatting to Amanda saying that the agent thinks the offer for the Vic will be completed soon.

Sharon is miserable and Chrissie says it's just a silly quarrel, but she smirks as well. Dennis comes back from a run, dripping in sweat, and they talk - he is upset with her, saying Den doesn't want them to be together, and that won't change just because they are getting married. Sharon asks, so that's an ultimatum is it? If so, then the wedding is off. She leaves in a huff. Dennis tells Chrissie crossly, and says perhaps he should just move in with Pat, who takes in strays, and Sharon can stay in her precious pub with Chrissie. Chrissie is horrified! Dennis declines to explain, saying the row is between him and Sharon - although maybe Pauline knows what is going on in Sharon's mind. Sharon goes to Pauline's, and whines that all she wants is have her father give her away at her wedding to Dennis. Pauline says Dennis will be round to chase her before she knows it.

The scum family are moaning about Demi leaving, and call the police to give them Demi's last camera. Rosie goes missing, and Chrissie is displeased because she fails to turn up for work. Rosie hides from everyone in the launderette, and finally Keith finds her. The police come back and says Leo has a conviction for drug dealing, but there is no reason to suppose that he and Demi are using heroin.

Minty calls Emma to ask her out, after much persuasion from Garry. He takes her to a very posh place, that he lied to he knew well, and then discovers he doesn't know anything on the menu. Emma sees through him and they laugh about it, and go to the Vic for a drink instead. They swap mechanic stories and she kisses him.

Jim finds Dennis, and chats about Dot, and her driving test, then waffling on about women in general - saying he should leave his trousers at the front door when he gets married! Dennis says miserably she's called the whole thing off. Jim buys a drink, and Dennis asks for orange juice. Jim points out that this time last year Dennis was drinking vodka and banging his head against a wall. Dennis says it's still early! Jim says that's Sharon's influence, will he have a proper drink or what? Dennis grins and says he will stick to orange juice.

Chrissie goes to see Sharon at Pauline's and Sharon explains what the row was about. Chrissie tells Sharon that she was loved before, but think of Dennis, he has never had anyone who loved him in his life before her, and Dennis won't come round this time: Sharon is letting Den come between her and Dennis again.

Dennis sits in the Vic and Chrissie tells him that Sharon is ready to talk - don't make her beg. Dennis says she knows where he is. Later, Dennis goes to Pauline's, and stands there with his lost look. Sharon looks at him as he holds out his hand to her, and she hugs him delightedly.

Sharon and Dennis go back to the Vic, and announce to Chrissie that they are going to ask Den to the wedding, to prove that he can't split them up. Dennis hugs Sharon happily. [Hmm, what was that Dennis said about her idea of compromise being doing whatever Sharon wants?]

Thu 4 Aug 2005

Dennis and Sharon discuss it and she apologises for going on about it, and asks Dennis if he is all right about it, and Dennis says no, not really, but when Den sees how happy they are, and there is nothing he can do to split them up, for that, he'd send him an invite himself.

Sharon looks for the postcard from his mate in Spain, and is disappointed when she can't find it. Dennis gently tells her that perhaps Den doesn't want to be found.

Sharon pesters Chrissie, who snaps, and says furiously that Den hurt her, and he has done everything in his power to split Sharon and Dennis up, so why will it be different if Sharon finds him now? Sharon goes upstairs and tells Dennis, who says he understands Chrissie's reluctance, can Sharon try someone else?

Tedious scum family Romeo and Juliet story continues. Chrissie tells Rosie off for neglecting her work. The police suggest news coverage, as well as public awareness, Demi may see the paper and come back. A reporter arrives to interview them, and has already spoken to Leo's family. Keith starts slandering Leo, saying he is a violent drug dealer, then pushes the reporter out of the door.

Patrick starts a book on Dot's driving test on Thursday. Pat isn't impressed but Martin has a fiver on Dot to fail. Pat takes Dot out for more practice, and she's OK. Sonia finds out that Martin bet against Dot passing, and tells him that you back your own family!

Pat takes Dot to the centre, and she goes off with the examiner. Dot arrives back, and tells Jim that a chap in a white van cut her up, and broke the wing mirror, so she chased after him, and got out and told him. Dot says the chap accused her of "road rage", and she failed the test. Sonia grabs the handful of cash that Patrick is gloating over, and gives it to Dot for the retake fee.

Sharon tells Chrissie she's going to Spain to get Den.

Fri 5 Aug 2005

The scum family are front page news in the Walford Gazette - sensational story, dumb little teenager ran off with her baby to a drug dealer. Rosie and Mickey blame Keith. The police arrive and say the news story hasn't done any good to the chances of finding them (since they will now be hiding from the police as well as their families). When Rosie goes to the shops, Ian kindly offers to look after Darren for her, saying she might need a break from looking after kids. Rosie gets all whiny and then Leo's mother comes round to shout at her for telling the papers about Leo's drug dealing.

However, while she's there, the phone goes and Rosie hears the word "Mum" and Rosie starts screaming, rather selfishly, about what Demi's put them through. Demi puts the phone down. Afterwards, Demi says to Leo it was really upsetting having horrible things shouted at her, they can never go back.

Jayne plans to corner Ian with her plans for a baby - she arranges Sonia to babysit while she takes him out for dinner. She starts the subject not just badly, but totally idiotically, by asking what Ian would say if she said she was pregnant. Ian goes mad, asking who she has slept with? Jayne says he misunderstood, she just asked what he would say if she was, and Ian says well, he has four kids, and doesn't want the sleepless nights again. Jayne screeches at him that he won't even listen to her, and doesn't care about what she wants - he has his family, so what she wants is irrelevant, and she stomps out of the restaurant in a silly over-emotional tantrum.

Garry expects Minty to go out clubbing with him, and Minty says no, he has a date with Emma. They open the business post and find Ian's got two season tickets to West Ham, and Minty says he'd sell his grandmother for one of these, when it comes to a contest between women and West Ham - no contest. Garry hatches a plan and borrows a West Ham video from Charlie (the European Cup Winners Cup Final 1965). He puts it on just as Emma arrives to tempt Minty. When he gets home, Minty is watching it, sitting on the sofa in his underpants and shirt, with a can of lager [yeuk]. Garry thinks his plan worked, but then Emma arrives in nothing but a long West Ham shirt, and she is joining Minty because she is a huge West Ham fan.

Sharon is dashing off to Spain. Dennis comes in with the ticket booked - telling Chrissie that he's not keen about seeing Den, but if it makes Sharon happy, it's OK. Sharon is leaving at 10pm.

In the launderette, Sam overhears Sharon's plan and goes to see Chrissie in hysterics, saying that if Sharon goes to Spain she will realise that none of Den's friends have seen him, and she will come back here to follow his trail. Dennis books a cab with Charlie, and Garry is there, and says he's sure Sharon will bring him back a nice souvenir. Dennis frowns [obviously it's the last thing he wants]!

Chrissie tells Sam she will take care of it, and does a sobbing act saying how upset she is thinking about Den. Sharon looks concerned. Chrissie says that these last six months have been the worst of her life, but if she brings Den back, it will destroy her - and maybe not just her, what about Dennis? Chrissie reminds Sharon what Den has done to her and Dennis before. Sharon says the last thing she wants to do is hurt Chrissie. She goes round to Pauline's to collect her washing, and Pauline helps persuade her she has to sort things out. She sets off, and Chrissie gets angry trying to stop Sharon, then gives up when she realises she is almost attacking her and probably has visions of Den all over again!

Mon 8 Aug 2005

Minty is off work sick, because he has Emma at his place, and Garry comes round with medicine, and catches him out.

The chav Romeo and Juliet are living in a filthy hovel frequented by drug dealers (presumably friends of Leo's). Demi's family are looking dirty and miserable (as usual, I know) and are whining a lot, and generally snapping at well-wishers. Meanwhile, Romeo drops the baby food on the floor, so they can't use it, and he has to get money quickly to provide more baby food, so agree to deal drugs for his vile mate.

Jayne and Ian argue again about having kids.

Amanda hassles Chrissie and is losing her bottle about her fraudulent signature on the deeds, so says she wants it sold immediately, or she'll tear up her document with Den's forged signature on it. Then Dennis also scares Chrissie by telling her he is tracing Den's movements around here while Sharon is doing the same in Spain, so Chrissie agrees to sell immediately.

Tue 9 Aug 2005

Ian and Jayne are still not really talking, and have to do an aikido demonstration, which Jayne uses to take out her frustration on Ian.

With Minty going on and on about Emma, with Garry saying it'll end in tears, they happen to mention Chrissie and Den, and have to explain to Dennis that Sam and Chrissie saw Den after Sharon came home.

Dennis goes to question Sam, who lies about why she didn't mention anything - and she tells him to talk to Chrissie. Chrissie tells Dennis that she doesn't want Den home, so won't help him.

Emma dumps Minty because she doesn't fancy him and he came on too strong. In a ridiculous comedy moment, Minty's miserable snivelling excuse to Garry is that he has dumped Emma because she was coming between him and Garry (as if anyone would believe that?!).

Demi and Leo argue about having no money for milk, but are interrupted by a prostitute, who's using the hovel as well. Leo says he will do some drug dealing to make money, but she doesn't like that, so Leo tells her to go home. Demi decides to stay, but send the baby back the baby because they can't afford to care for it properly, and leaves it with godmother Pauline.

Thu 11 Aug 2005

The annoying teenage runaways are still being dirty and revolting, and finally actually resort to drug dealing. Pauline takes the baby to its scum grandparents, who decide to see Leo's parents to investigate further where the kids have gone. Meanwhile, Leo's hopeless at drug dealing, and just gets beaten up - hardly a surprise, as he's a scrawny little child, and obviously unarmed, so that really wasn't going to work against hardened drug addicts, was it - did he ever have a brain at all, or was it totally destroyed by the drugs?

Pauline advises Jayne on how to win Ian around to her ideas - mainly by flattery!

Back at the hovel, Leo's mate tries to kiss Demi and she agrees to try some heroin [what?!]. Now, it really is R&J, because Leo comes back and finds her unconscious and/or dead [hopefully the latter, because this is a totally boring story, and they are entirely unconvincing actors to watch, and did I mention how much I hate them? But luckily I've been watching some really heartfelt unrequited love, and truly masterful acting over on Big Brother this week - sorry for the editorial, but EE has been dire for a few weeks now!].

Fri 12 Aug 2005

Jayne and Ian argue again, so Peter and Lucy are cynical about whether she will stay, as they are used to their new mothers running off after a few months with Ian. This is the spur Ian needed, and he tells Jayne he will agree to have the vasectomy reversal and they stop arguing about it.

Dennis tells Chrissie that he's off to talk to the police who may be able to trace the money that Den is taking from the Vic. Chrissie is caught unawares and lets slip that she owns the Vic entirely.

Leo's mother says she knows where he has gone (but just didn't bother to mention it before?). Meanwhile, Leo does Romeo and takes drugs to kill himself since Demi looks dead, but true to R&J, she isn't, and wakes up, just as he is about to die of his own overdose. [Oh dear, how predictable.] Scum parents arrive just at this opportune moment and cart the scum kids off to hospital where Romeo dies and Juliet doesn't. [And that's the most convincing acting that appallingly wooden Leo has ever done.]

All four horrible scum parents meet up at hospital and of course, shout at and blame each other a bit for the kids' drug taking and dying, etc. They tell Demi Leo is dead - actually she guesses and snivels a bit, having obviously recovered remarkably quickly from her heroin overdose [and seemingly she has not become a drug addict overnight, so all those US programmes clearly got it wrong].

Mon 15 Aug 2005

The scum family are in disarray, and Demi is coming home later. Rosie wants to let Leo's mother see the baby, but Keith doesn't because of her violent husband. Rosie ignores him and meets her with the baby, and they chat about Leo's funeral.

Ian is feeling queasy about his vasectomy reversal appointment.

Dennis questions Chrissie about the Vic, and doesn't give up easily. He clearly doesn't believe her explanation of why Den gave her the Vic before he left. He keeps on at her and she whines a bit and acts upset about Den.

Sharon arrives in the Vic just as Dennis is apologising for being so persistent and saying that it will be hard to tell Sharon. He takes Sharon upstairs and gives her a large engagement ring. He admits to Sharon that he didn't visit the police as promised. He explains why - that he discovered that Den signed the Vic over to Chrissie. Sharon isn't upset with Chrissie, and she explains to Dennis that she has seen all his old friends, and Dennis replies that between them, they have tracked down almost everyone that Den has even known. Sharon says they should go to the police now. Dennis says they won't be interested, especially since there is no money involved. Sharon wonders where he is getting the money to live on - some other secret bank account perhaps. Dennis supportively takes her to the police station to report Den a missing person, although he stands in the station looking uncomfortable and furtive the whole time.

Dot is nervous about her next driving test and is hassling Ian about borrowing his car. She takes the test yet again, and is a bit hesitant.

Meanwhile, Sonia is trying to find a room for her nurse friend Naomi, and asks Jim if she could have her old room in Dot's house. The friend is about Sonia's age, a rather plain girl with a huge mouth. Jim agrees without asking Dot, and then Ian and Jayne come into the Vic and the girl recognises him from his earlier appointment, and her big mouth is not just physical, as she blabs that she saw Ian giving a sperm sample earlier today - so much for hospital confidentiality.

Jim arrives and takes her to see the room, and as he's guiding her across the road, Dot's test has just finished, successfully, apart from driving back to the test centre. However, when she sees Jim with Naomi, she is distracted and crashes Ian's car - right in front of him - also failing her test, obviously.

Tue 16 Aug 2005

It's Leo's funeral, and Demi coming back from hospital, as well as the social services visiting the scum family to check on the baby and possibly take it away. Keith is uncooperative and rude to her, saying he was in care when he was a child and he knows what it is like. The social worker says she understands, and isn't here to take the baby away.

Sharon asks Dennis if he is OK, and he says he's just worried about the police being here. Chrissie asks Dennis what is going on, and Dennis says they are only asking the police to check on bank accounts and things that they can't do themselves, there's no reason to think it will come back to her. With the (new, not the usual guy) detective, Sharon is very evasive when she is asked why she came back from the US for one day just to talk to him, and what they talked about the last time she saw him. Sharon says that apparently wasn't the last time he was seen - Chrissie saw him after that. [How silly of Chrissie to make up an entirely new occasion, thus requiring so many lies and fabrication.]

Sam sees the police and is a bit frantic. Chrissie tells Sharon she doesn't think Den will be pleased to have the police on his tail.

At Dot's, Naomi offers to make breakfast, but Dot tells Jim he hasn't got time because he has to arrange a stag night. Dennis suggests Thursday, and Jim is worried that he won't have time to sort it out. He goes to see Patrick and Charlie, and finds out that Minty and Garry are both away that day.

Chrissie tells the police that she saw Den another time - 1st March, and he packed and left her for another woman. The detective points out that no-one has seen or heard of this other woman, except her, so a name would be good - even a false name. Chrissie points out that he had a certain reputation, and if he checks his records, Den disappeared for 14 years, and at that time she was the woman that nobody had heard of, so she supposes she's getting what she deserves now. Also, if Sharon says he would have contacted her, remember he didn't for 14 years.

The policeman talks to Dot, who says Den has made it an art form, Den comes back, rubs everybody's backs up then goes off again, so she wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

The detective talks to Sharon and Dennis, saying that he has decided that Den is not a high risk case, from all the people he has spoken to. However, if anything else comes up, contact him. Sam is there, listening, and she and Chrissie both look smug. Upstairs, Sharon tells Chrissie she wants some more information, and she was holding back all about the discussion they had with her, Sam and Zoe, and that must be part of the reason why he left. Chrissie tells Sharon he came back again, and that Sam was the last person to see him on that night. Dennis looks very surprised and frowns at the new story.

Thu 18 Aug 2005

Sharon tells Chrissie that she told the police that good lead about Sam - and Chrissie rushes round to see Sam to warn her. Bimbo Sam is painting her nails and chattering on the phone. Chrissie tells her she said that Sam was the last person to see Den on the night that he left. They start to concoct a story but Sharon arrives, banging on the door, but they don't answer. Chrissie says the police will be there later too. Sam is annoyed saying that Den spent all his time conning her out of the Vic, then when he got it, he disappeared - who will believe that? She then says in irritation, oh, she's even smudged her nail varnish [obviously being an accomplice to murder and about to be found out is nothing like as annoying as smudged nail varnish].

Meanwhile, the Slaters and Pat arrange the hen night, Jim is hopeless at the stag do. Billy says he knows someone who knows a stripper who does everything. Ian offers to do the food - then later says it's all arranged, and tells Jim it's 40 quid for the food - labour is free.

Dennis is unhappy that Sharon is so manic about concentrating on her search for Den. He feels totally ignored and says she's not even here right now. He sits in the cafe sadly and Jim comes to talk about the stag do. Dennis is totally uninterested. He is really unhappy and reluctantly gets ready for the stag night. He's wearing a suit, for some reason, and looks nice.

Sharon comes round to question Sam, who says she knows nothing, and will be no use to the police. Sharon says she will come with Sam to the station, and her hen night can wait. The hen night is going ahead and Chrissie arrives, and everyone asks why Sharon isn't with her. Sam is questioned, and the detective asks her if she's related to Phil and Grant. She says Den just said a few things then left. The policeman asks if there was a row. Sam says no, she doesn't have a problem with him. She says he got the tube when he left, and then changes her mind, saying he hailed a black cab. The detective is not at all fooled and asks her to tell him about the feud - how Den got the Vic, and that she must be bitter about this. Sam tries to leave, and makes the excuse that she is upset that her husband died the night Den left. Obviously, she has been caught out, and quickly says that was when Den first left, then he came back again. The detective asks her who her husband was, and when she says Andy Hunter, he is very interested. He says when someone like Den disappears, it's usually for a good reason, and thanks her for giving them so much to go on.

In the Vic, Ian produces the food, which isn't impressive, and Dennis looks totally unhappy to have to put on a silly party hat and drink with Charlie, Billy, Jim and Patrick. He's even more unimpressed when a [very] good-looking policeman arrives and asks for him, then starts stripping. Billy, who arranged it, bundles the bloke out of the Vic quickly, asking for his money back. Dennis is really unhappy (not about being accosted by a bloke stripping) and Jim asks him what's up. Dennis says coming here made him think of Den, and wherever he goes, Den seems to be looking over his shoulder, and even when he looks at Sharon. Jim suggests that Dennis makes a claim now, Sharon has chosen to marry him, he is the one she wants, he needs to remind her of that.

At the hen do, Pauline phones Sharon, and tells them all that she is at the station with Sam. Chrissie is horrified. Meanwhile, Pat is saying her mate the stripper is gorgeous and dresses as a copper as well. The old woman moan about wanting a male body to look at! Chrissie arrives at the station, and takes Sharon to the party before Sam gets out. Sam arrives a few minutes later. The older women chat about men and decide to go to a salsa night tomorrow.

Ian drunkenly dresses up in his aikido outfit and asks people to try to hit him. No-one will and he says they are all scared. He asks Dennis who morosely says "I'm too scared", which prompts a few laughs. Johnny is trying to leave and Ian stands in his way and says go on, try to hit me, I will block anything you can do. Johnny slips a quick jab to the stomach and Ian totally misses it and doubles up. Alfie arrives in the Vic, just back from his trip, and Ian asks him if he has decided which sister. Alfie says he has decided on neither - he can't do it to either of them.

Dennis walks into the hen do and tells Sharon he just wanted to tell her one thing, something that will never change, he will love her for the rest of his life. He kisses her and leaves. [Very dramatic, and well executed, but rather ominous words: I reckon he has only a 50-50 chance of a life expectancy beyond 6 months, depending on whether Nigel gets another acting job or not.]

Sharon thanks Sam for trying to help, and says it was only the fact that Den signed the Vic over to Chrissie that worried her. Sam is stunned by this news and is now furious with Chrissie.

Fri 19 Aug 2005

Sharon thanks Sam, who asks her how she feels about the Vic. Sharon doesn't care. Sam goes to see Chrissie and is angry. She leaves, and Dennis catches the end of the conversation and asks what Sam wanted. Chrissie lies "bar work", and Dennis doesn't believe it.

Billy asks Sam how it went with the police and she says fine. She goes to see Kat and tells her that Chrissie is up to something, because when she asked, Chrissie says she only owned half of the Vic. Sam whines "what if she is planning to do a runner and set me up?" Kat says she doesn't care as long as Zoe is kept out of it.

Yolande asks everyone if they are still up for salsa tonight, and Pauline says no, she has changed her mind, it's Arthur's birthday. After a chat, Pauline decides to go anyway. The teacher is the same bloke from Catford that they saw before and tells Pauline in his fake foreign accent that she has the "feets of an angel".

Jayne tells the kids that she and Ian are planning another baby, and they ask why, since she's already got Bobby. She says she wants her own baby, thus making them realise that she doesn't value them as much as she would her own baby, and they are sulky. However, they apologise later. Jayne tells Ian that she may have changed her mind about a baby now, she is practically a mother to Ian's kids already. Jayne says she is happy for now, but she may bring the idea up again later. Ian is relieved not to have to have the op for now.

Alfie talks to Mo and arranges to meet Kat later. Mo asks if there is anything wrong, and he says he has been thinking. She says she has too, and she doesn't want them to carry on like this - she wants it to be serious. Alfie bottles out of telling her, and also of telling Kat later.

Naomi is at Dot's and goes down to breakfast in a red skimpy nightie. Jim has a good look, and Dot notices, and buys her a full length old lady's nightie that does up to the neck with long sleeves. Naomi smiles and says thanks. She says good night to them that evening in the nightie and thanks Dot for it. Jim looks disappointed.

Sam is annoyed in the Vic and she has a lot to drink, then makes a big fuss to Chrissie about owning all of the Vic. She says she thinks Chrissie is trying to blame her, and it's time everyone round here found out the truth. Chrissie says threateningly, if she goes down, so will Sam. Sam says loudly to Billy did he know that Den gave his half of the pub to Chrissie? Dennis asks who rattled her cage. Sharon adds that if she has something to say, then just say it. Sam backs down and looks at Sharon and Dennis, and raises her glass to the happy couple, and Dennis asks if she's jealous because her marriage failed. Chrissie tells her to go home, and Sam flails her arms wildly, attacking Chrissie, who escorts her out and tells her in the street that she warned her, and Sam is on her own now.

Mon 22 Aug 2005

Sam almost apologises to Sharon but Pauline has a nasty go at her. She goes to talk to Chrissie, who tells her to keep her mouth shut. Chrissie says she is selling up and leaving, and suggests Sam do the same. When Sam sees Sharon later, she immediately tells her Chrissie is selling the pub. Sharon asks Chrissie about it, and she gives a very reasonable reply, that this was a fresh start for her and Den, so she wants a proper fresh start. Chrissie tells Sharon she can have first refusal on the Vic: she doesn't want Sharon to hate her.

Kat teases Alfie flirtatiously. Nana asks him if he's told them and he says it was all so easy away from here, but now, he can't bring himself to tell them.

The scum family are busy getting ready for Demi to return, but Rosie doesn't want to go to the hospital for some reason. Dot invites her to tea and Rosie explains that Demi hates her, and ran away, but doesn't tell her anything.

Charlie has a hard day and falls asleep, thus missing his appointment to pick Demi up from hospital.

Rosie waffles interminably and incredibly tediously to Dot about some historical rubbish, including that the overdose was all her fault because she failed to phone at an agreed time. Dot contradicts her, saying it wasn't her fault, Demi is an adult (nearly) and Rosie goes to meet Demi when she gets home. A taciturn Demi is looking ugly, sour-faced and miserable as usual.

Tue 23 Aug 2005

Alfie is being hassled again to choose between the women. Nana tells him they will sort it out at lunchtime, and Ian has a go in the morning. When Alfie arrives, Nana has got Mo there (on the pretence that she felt ill). Mo tells Alfie that before, when she told Alfie she wanted him (ie sex) she wasn't really ready, and she only said it because she didn't want Alfie to get tired of her. Alfie looks at her affectionately and says he could never get tired of her.

Johnny and Tina prepare for Ruby's return. He is very fussy and hassles Tina so everything is perfect for Ruby. Ruby starts off by asking all about the fire, and Johnny is very quick to shut her up and stop her talking about it. Johnny expects her to get great GCSE results, and Ruby is upset, saying she may not have done very well. Ruby goes to find Stacey and she apologises about her father making her go off without talking to Stacey earlier.

The ugly Naomi comes to see Sonia to ask her to go out tonight, gurning revoltingly with her huge mouth as she describes Dot and Jim's arguments. She drags Sonia and Martin to a gallery and then leaves them standing when she sees another friend. Martin is totally bored by the girls and leaves them to have a drink by themselves.

Sam goes to see Dennis to try to turn him against Chrissie, and he tells her he doesn't care about the pub or what she has to say, but her comments are upsetting Sharon so stop them. When she gets back from shopping she is in a bad mood. Dennis asks her what is up and Chrissie tells him she will go and see. Sharon is upset about her father not being there, and Chrissie tries to stop her going on. She says she keeps thinking about postponing it - the police may find him with just a few more days. Chrissie tells her to put Dennis first, he is her future.

Sam whines in the cafe and Billy asks her what is up. She goes on about Chrissie getting away with it and Sharon and Dennis not caring. Billy says if she tells him what it is she is on about maybe it won't seem so bad. Sam says she can't tell anybody. Billy goes to talk to Dennis and Sharon to ask them to talk to Sam. Dennis is cross and says no. He goes round to see Sam and tells her that he doesn't care about Chrissie selling the Vic, and if she doesn't stop he will forget his manners. Billy is horrified and says he didn't think he'd go off like that. Sam says Billy has ruined everything.

Nana has invited Kat over for tea (same pretext of being ill) and when Alfie realises he mutters "give me strength". Kat has brought cream cakes and they have a childish cream fight and Kat tries her best to be seductive but he ignores her. They have a chat and she makes him dance with her when a soppy record comes on the radio and takes the opportunity to snog him. Alfie tells her to stop. She sulks and runs off.

Thu 25 Aug 2005

Alfie still can't decide what to do about the women. Kat is moping around and being snappy and Charlie goes to see if she is OK and she tells him about this bloke she liked. [She looks really rough, not sure if that's really the actress or Kat!] Charlie takes her to the allotment shed for a private chat, and she whines about this bloke, saying he wouldn't touch her, she is a slut and Charlie gets really upset and annoyed about her putting herself down. He tells her about her mother arguing with him and gives her ideas about making her move - and says hang on in there, her bloke will catch up with her.

Meanwhile, elsewhere, Little Mo is being sweet and goes round to check up on Nana. Later, Alfie sees her in the square with the baby and they are affectionate and have a cosy conversation.

Sharon asks Chrissie to give her away.

Billy asks Sam if she's OK. She snaps at him and meets the detective, who tells her that he has no record of the black cab being called on the night she says Den left in one. Sam says it may have been a minicab, and adds sarcastically if she'd known he was going to ask she'd have taken down the registration number. Sam tells Chrissie that the police were around again, and it is just a matter of time before they ask serious questions. Chrissie tells Sam it's her problem, she is giving Sharon away then is out of here - on Monday.

Sam rushes round to see Kat and says Chrissie is doing a runner, she will get away with murder, and they have to stop her. She wants Kat to bring Zoe back. She says they will find the body eventually, it may be a few years but they will find Zoe because of the baby connection. Kat refuses point blank. Sam is hysterical and goes to whine at Billy that Chrissie is going to get away with it and no-one else can see it. Billy says maybe it's the other way round, and she is the one who can't see things as they are.

Ruby gets her exam results but is afraid to open them. Stacey tells her to go on then. Eventually Tina takes her home to Johnny and she gets a fair selection of grades, not outstanding but not bad, which makes them all very happy. Johnny says he will take her out to dinner anywhere she wants, do whatever she likes - so obviously she asks if Stacey can come. Johnny says OK, she is obviously not stupid, so she is old enough to choose her own friends and he is big enough to respect her choice.

Pauline meets the salsa bloke in the launderette - his washing machine broke down. He explains that his washing machine broke and adds in a Bogart voice "of all the launderettes in all the world". They dance a bit, argue a bit about steps and have fun.

Alfie goes home and tells Nana he has made up his mind - Kat is funny, warm, sexy [this was a hopeless attempt at suspense/surprise] and says he has decided (view of Charlie reassuring Kat that he will chose her) ... Little Mo.

Fri 26 Aug 2005

Ian asks Alfie if he's made up his mind, and Alfie tells him he has chosen Mo. Ian sees Kat approaching in her predatory manner and says "rather you than me". Alfie asks Kat to talk in the cafe and she says OK, but he says somewhere private. Ian advises Alfie to tell Little Mo about Kat, because Kat is bound to talk to her once he dumps her.

Sam is jittery when a police car goes by. Ian arrives, saying she is over an hour late for work. Sam says she's ill and Ian says she should have had two glasses instead of two bottles of drink, and gives her 10 minutes or she's out of a job. When she does work, she is offhand with the customers and incompetent and Ian says she will have to do better he can't afford to lose custom because she was partying too hard. Ian arrives as Sam is being slightly rude to Chrissie when she comes into the shop, and he sacks her for being unreliable, incompetent and rude to the customers - Chrissie is one of his best customers, and enough is enough - go.... now!

Sam goes to the Vic and whines at Chrissie for getting her the sack.

The ugly Naomi arrives and distracts Sonia from a cosy lunch with Martin, to ask for Sonia's answers to their essay subject, but he says it's OK, her work is more important. Afterwards, Martin comes to ask Sonia to see a film tonight, and Naomi invites herself and suggests a film with a love story and Martin decides to back out and go to the Vic instead, leaving Sonia to go out with Naomi alone. Naomi says he'd probably rather go out with the boys any time (which is faintly insulting to Sonia, but thick Sonia she doesn't notice).

Darren apologises to Demi about "everything". Their parents discuss her too. Rosie tries to apologise to Demi, who blames her for splitting them up and Leo's death.

Sharon and Dennis arrive in the Vic and find Dot and Pauline suggesting a street party for their reception. Sharon looks doubtfully at Dennis, who says weakly "whatever you want".

Sam drinks in the Vic, and gets drunk. Chrissie tries to refuse to serve her and Billy arrives, and drags Sam away, while she's rambling incoherently. Billy gets annoyed and says she isn't making sense - and he shouts "what is Chrissie supposed to have done!" Sam tells him to leave her alone. Chrissie gets a delivery and Sam follows her to the back and snatches the tickets, which are to Argentina. Sam hysterically wails that when someone renovates the Vic, they will find the body. Chrissie says then she should just leave, do the same as she is - and Chrissie offers to buy Sam a ticket anywhere she wants. Sam wails that she will tell the police, and Chrissie says if it's Sam's word against hers, who will believe Sam - a drunken jobless loser?

Kat makes Alfie go to the club before their little chat, and he is reluctant to do so there, but she insists. Alfie says he never meant it to go that far, it shouldn't have happened. Kat says she is just jealous of Little Mo who has found a bloke. Kat appeals to Alfie, saying that she misses the chats they had when they were married. Alfie omits to tell her that he is dumping her. He starts to say he is very stressed, and Kat says he needs a massage, and starts rubbing his back right there in the club. Then she makes him massage her ankle in return. Then Sam phones her hysterically, saying that she is about to tell the police the whole story, and Kat leaves quickly, and Alfie still hasn't told her. He goes to the Vic and Ian offers him a drink. Alfie tells Ian the sad story about how Kat gets him all muddled up. Ian says "you made your decision, stick to it."

Sam arrives at the station, and there is a queue. She asks for DC Monahan, and Kat arrives just as she is drunkenly insisting that she has to tell someone about Den Watts. Kat drags her away. Sam whines that Chrissie is going to Argentina. Kat tells her to get a grip, they are in this together. Sam says no, Zoe hit him, Chrissie killed him, she did nothing. Kat threatens Sam that if she gets Zoe involved, she (Kat) will make Sam's life not worth living.

Mon 29 Aug 2005

The wedding festivities are being prepared all over the square. Sam is drunk and wandering around aimlessly in contrast to all the other people diligently working. Pauline is in pink and Dot in blue. Dennis is at Jim's and Sharon is getting ready at the Vic. Dennis is nervous and shaking as he tries to do up his cufflinks getting ready. He asks Jim if he has the rings, and Jim sighs and shows him them. He says it's all fine, and Dennis says nervously that he's sure Den is going to show up and ruin it all.

Chrissie shows Sharon some lovely diamond earrings, which are her "something borrowed" - Den gave Chrissie them at their wedding. Chrissie says they're a long lend - a gift, her and Den weren't forever, but Sharon and Dennis will be. Sharon goes to get dressed.

Chrissie is wearing a vile green stripy dress, and she asks Kat to check on Sam, and Kat can't find her at her flat. She's at the allotments, drinking from a half bottle of whisky. Charlie goes there to hide from Old Mo, and tries to help her, but she accuses him of trying it on and calls him a fat stupid cabbie, and Old Mo arrives to hear this and gives Sam a slap and calls her a pathetic alky - where is her pride? Sam says taken from her, like her pub. Back in the square, Charlie tells Billy that Sam needs looking after, and she was up at the allotments.

Pauline and Dot arrive to collect Dennis, and Pauline sneers at him, and says he looks...presentable. Later, Jim quietly says to Dennis she's sort of his mother-in-law and you can't do anything about a mother-in-law, they just have to be endured, like haemorrhoids. Dennis walks out to the square and looks around nervously, and Jim says it'll be OK, Den isn't there, and not even his old man would have the stones to rock up to the wedding now. [Incidentally, despite it being his wedding day, Dennis, who can look great when he tries, does look just about presentable: his suit looks very tacky and a bit shiny.]

Sam stumbles around the allotments and finds a pickaxe, and takes it to the Vic and sneaks in while Sharon is making her grand exit to the waiting car. Sam starts smashing the place up, from the living room to the bedroom - and finds Chrissie's tickets and passport and tears them up. Tracey, downstairs, hears the noise and finds Sam, who hits her and knocks her out, then drags her to the toilet and ties the door shut with a ribbon. Sam rambles on to an unconscious Tracey, saying she will make it up to her. She goes downstairs, singing to herself, and then goes to the cellar and starts digging up the floor.

At the registry office, Dot and Pauline gossip, and Pauline hasn't a good word to say about Dennis, who is waiting for the bride on the opposite side of the aisle. Dot tells her to smile, it's a wedding. Sharon arrives, and they stand up, and Dennis thanks Jim for the best man stuff. Jim says to Dennis "got the rings?". Dennis looks at him and Jim says he's only joking.

The wedding starts. Sam digs up the cellar floor. Billy looks for Sam. Ian puts music on in the open air party area in the square. Dennis and Sharon listen to Dot reciting a Bible passage about true love being a never-changing thing. Sam pulls up the concrete fragments with her bare hands until she reaches a bit of body.

Sharon and Dennis finish the wedding vows and kiss, and Pauline even has a go about that, saying Dennis doesn't have to string it out that long. Outside, she warns Dennis to take care of Sharon. He says don't worry. Jim says Dennis can relax now, see Den didn't turn up, did he? Dennis actually looks happy and relaxed at last. Meanwhile, back at the Vic, Sam is saying "hello Den" to the corpse! Tracey wakes up and calls the police. Dot gets Jim to photograph the couple as she is throwing confetti.

The police arrive at the square and break into the Vic, after shouting for "Miss Mitchell" to let them in. They arrest her on suspicion of criminal damage, glance at the floor with the body visible, and the young copper adds nervously "and there may be other charges". Billy tells Sam it will be OK, and tells the police not to talk to her until he's got her a brief. They say she will have to sober up yet. Kat has a go at her whispering that she had better keep Zoe out of it. The police tell her to get away from the car.

Meanwhile, Dennis and Sharon are driving back and Sharon flirtily asks him what he thinks of her dress. He says it'll look better on the bedroom floor. She shows him her garter and he says "what are you trying to do to me?" Dennis says she is torturing him, and she's plain evil, adding "my wife is evil" and he marvels at the phrase, "my wife.... I bloody love you Mrs Rickman." Sharon says she loves him too and they arrive back to the police cordon.

Ian explains that they have found a body. Sharon says, stunned "but it's my wedding day". Dennis looks worried. Sam looks gloatingly at Chrissie as she drives past and Chrissie looks frantic.

Tue 30 Aug 2005

[Direct continuation from yesterday.]

As Chrissie looks worried, Kat whispers at her.

As the police cordon off the whole Vic, they tell Chrissie no-one can go inside while they investigate. Chrissie asks if she can go inside and get some clothes for the bride, who is in her wedding dress, and is told that an officer will have to go with her. She gets Sharon another outfit, and then asks if she can get some things for herself. She discovers that Sam has shredded her passport and tickets, and then grabs a few incriminating things from her bags. She hides them in her bag, then tells the policewoman that the mess is too much and she can't find anything.

Chrissie is asked about Sam, and she says she was one of her best friends, even after this. She explains their argument by saying that Sam was drinking too much and she told her about it, and that was the cause of their rift.

Pauline takes Sharon home to hers. Dennis silently holds her hand, while she sighs that they have only been married an hour. Pauline goes on about the Mitchells. Dot moans about the noise of drilling and Dennis say they're digging up the corpse. Pauline says does he have to put it like that, and Dennis says "all right, the law are digging us an ornamental pond, 'coz they're nice like that, we're gonna have koi carp; a water feature, it's gonna look lovely, ... once they've got rid of the corpse." Sharon calls him from upstairs, and he goes to her.

Dennis is a bit aggressive to the police as they ask him what he was doing, pointing out the wedding trappings, he tells them to "take a guess, Sherlock." Sharon asks about Chrissie and everyone says how good she has been.

Chrissie goes to Sam's and plants Den's phone and some papers, then she looks around under the sink for a bit, where the doorstop was and sees there are still marks there, She leaves her key to Sam's place there. Chrissie remembers to wipe her fingerprints off everywhere, but almost runs into Billy and Kat as she leaves the flat. Billy and Kat go to the station but aren't allowed to see Sam, and Kat leaves a threatening message for her, saying that she will be here, whenever Sam gets out.

Jim finds Chrissie as she is a bit hysterical, having finally sorted out Sam's flat and planted her evidence. Jim takes her to Pauline's where she chats to Sharon and Pauline, while Dennis just listens and thinks.

In the square, everyone is questioned, with varying stories. Charlie says Sam was a good girl, with something troubling her, it wasn't like her. Old Mo meanwhile says she was drunk and obnoxious. Keith says he remembers that Sam would never go to the cellar when they were working there, that explains it, if she knew there was a body there. Ian tells them that Phil Mitchell held an iron bar to his throat, right out there, and Sam was as bad as her brothers, he gave her a job but she wasn't grateful.

Alfie says Sam was a sweet girl, and her husband took all her money and left her. She was fleeced and never wanted to sell the pub. Pat tells the same story about Sam and Andy leaving her with nothing at all. They both say that Chrissie rescued her and helped her out, giving her a job. The police ask everyone if there is history between Watts and Mitchells, and Alfie jokes you'll probably need a new notebook while Pat says "how long have you got?"

At the station, Sam has finished recovering from being drunk: the police have given her an overall, after she was sick all over herself earlier. They bandage Sam's bruised and bloody hands, and she first apologises for being sick everywhere and that they had to clear it up, then is rude, saying that she wants to save her story for the boss, and when will he be here? The policeman says it will take time. Sam whines and says OK she will tell him, the body is Den Watts - that will speed things up a bit. She orders "Oh, and I'll have a cup of tea and a couple of aspirins, please." [Hmm that'll endear her to them.]

Chrissie wails and whines. Pauline bitches. Dennis is silent, thinking, while Pauline blames the Mitchells and Chrissie eggs her on. Dot says Peggy and Sam have always been all right. Pauline goes on about Phil and says Grant was psycho. Sharon asks her to leave it now! Jim says "Pauline, you're not helping matters". Pauline says Phil and Grant nearly killed each other, is it hard to imagine them killing someone else? Pauline thinks the body was there from the times of the Mitchells.

The drilling stops. Dennis leaves, kissing Sharon, saying he will be back in a minute. Dot tells Jim to go after Dennis: he's upset. Dennis goes to the pub and tells DI Riddick, who is in charge, that he thinks the body is his father, Den Watts. Riddick asks him how he knows, and Dennis says he has a hunch, but he's certain. He adds, if they let him see the body, he will ID it. Riddick refuses, and Dennis says they will be pratting around for ages. Riddick says rather icily that they do NOT "prat around" when they establish ID of a body. Anyway, it's in no appropriate condition to be viewed. Dennis replies coldly, "so he's soup, I don't care, I hated the man, I'm not going to burst into tears or throw up, just let me see him.  Or just get his watch - I could ID that.  Dennis raises his voice, saying they are bleedin' useless. Then the cop from the station arrives and informs Riddick quietly, but in Dennis's hearing, that Sam said it's Den.  Riddick tells Dennis they will go somewhere private, but Dennis is too impatient and Riddick says it's not a formal ID, and Dennis says to Jim, didn't he say Den would rock up and ruin everything?!  Riddick says he will come back to the house with Dennis, but Dennis says no, he's going to tell his wife, she has to hear it from him first.  He tells Sharon but she doesn't believe him.  Dennis says "listen to me, it's him".  Chrissie looks nervous and worried.

Billy watches the casket being taken in to collect the body, and says he needs a drink, now! Later, he chats to Charlie, who says he wanted to punch Den for what he did to Zoe, but never wished him dead. Billy replies that Sam did - she hated him. Alfie says he's not suggesting...? Billy says no, of course not, but doesn't sound too convinced.

Sharon doesn't believe Dennis, and Dennis tries to tell her gently. Chrissie says it isn't possible, as she is being questioned. Sharon chips in that they have no proof it's him. Dennis tries to talk to her, but she goes upstairs, while the cop tells Dennis to prepare for the worst. He asks to have a word with Dennis in private. They take a DNA sample, and Dennis returns, saying grimly "that'll help ID the body and rule me out as a suspect in a murder case, because that is what this is. Unless you think he lay down for a kip and someone poured cement on him by mistake." He adds stiffly "I'll make us a pot of tea, shall I?"

Meanwhile, Stacey tells Kat about the night of Den's death, how Chrissie and Sam took Zoe away and seemed to be forcing her, and how sick it was that Zoe just got up the duff with Den's baby, but the next day he supposedly disappeared with that other woman, but obviously he never got that far. Kat then tries to distract Stacey, saying that Zoe would have told her if there was anything, and keep her worries quiet, leave it to the police, don't make something out of nothing.

Sam asks to make her phone call. She calls Kat and whispers she will only name Chrissie. Kat lies to Stacey about what the call was, then goes and tells Chrissie that she is picking her outfit for her trial.

Sharon comes back down, with a weird smile plastered on her face. She says it's not him, Chrissie and she both think it's not possible, it's their wedding day and she is going to enjoy herself. Dennis tells her gently "Sweetheart... sweetheart this isn't going to do you any good", and looks as bemused as everyone else, as Sharon makes him cut the cake with her.

Sharon chats as if the party is all OK, and she takes some cake over to Chrissie, unfortunately at the same time as they are bringing out the body from the Vic. Sharon suddenly looks at the coffin, and Dennis looks at her worriedly. Sharon says hysterically "well I wanted him here didn't I?" She drops the plate she is carrying and Dennis sweeps her up into his arms as she is collapsing, rather spoiling the effect of the moment with some hopeless acting, including a rather theatrical fling of her left arm over his shoulder. [Presumably Letitia is a bit too elephantine for Nigel to do that sweep into his arms from a complete collapse on the floor!] Dennis grimly carries her across the square to Pauline's [well the first few steps anyway].

Dennis looks worried and kneels down beside Sharon who is sitting on Pauline's sofa, and wailing that she was walking over his body all the time. Dennis looks at Sharon with great concern, and puts his hand on her arm. Sharon suddenly slaps Dennis's hand away and says "don't pretend you're sorry". Pauline tells him to leave Sharon with her, and Sharon cries, while Dennis continues to frown and look, hmm, what I can only describe as "thoughtful". [Looking at this acting, I think it's lucky for Nigel they have decided not to kill Dennis off when he leaves.]

Outside, Dennis tells Jim that he feels cheated - that someone else got to Den before he did.

Sam is told she will be interviewed tomorrow, on suspicion of murder. The policeman gives her a "little tip" - not to say anything until her solicitor has advised her.

Thu 1st Sep 2005

Next morning, Sam is in her cell, throwing up again - this time she manages to use the receptacle provided. A solicitor arrives and asks her for full details - she is placing herself at the scene of the murder, and it's all on her word. He is incredulous. She says she is just going to tell the truth.

Chrissie goes to Kat to make a deal for an alibi for both her and Zoe. She is very persuasive, despite having a rather hopeless case. Old Mo asks Kat about it, saying that Zoe was pregnant by him, so they are bound to ask. Kat admits that Zoe was present while Den was killed. She asks Old Mo to say she was with Zoe and Chrissie all night, and Mo says she was in the club all night, and loads of people knew. Stacey is eavesdropping, and hears some of this.

The police come to see Dennis and Sharon, and ask about the last time Sharon saw him. She insists he was alive later - he phoned Chrissie. They have discovered the cement was laid the day afterwards, which makes it all pretty conclusive. They want full details of everyone's whereabouts on that date and ask Sharon if she has her cab details. Dennis says he was out of the country, and they ask if he can prove that. Sharon says they had a huge row, and she drove off with him stood in the street, and he must have died then. Dennis looks really thoughtful at this new information.

The police leave, and Chrissie walks in and Dennis and Sharon ask exactly what happened that night. Chrissie says she already told them. Dennis points out that he was covered in concrete next day, so she can't have seen him later. They both look very sceptical at her stories. She admits that she lied about seeing him later in the year, and Dennis looks determined and starts interrogating her more. She says nothing happened, she had set out to humiliate him, and she got that, but that is all. But when Den came back, Sam screamed at him about how he took everything from her, and he was shouting and throwing things, they had a blazing row, and it got out of hand, and she took Zoe and got out of there, and that was the last she saw of him. Chrissie makes up a crap story about her covering it up because she was still using Den's credit card to buy things. She says Sam blackmailed her saying that the card company would find out, and so she couldn't tell Sharon. Dennis is aggressive and asks why they should believe her story when she has lied to them so much already. Martin arrives as Dennis is shouting at her with a sarcastic comment about her doing what people tell her, and there is an awkward pause. Chrissie restarts by saying that he died thinking she hated him, just to get Sharon on her side. She says Sharon hated him that night too, but she didn't want him dead either did she? She says once she had lied she couldn't stop it, and she does a passable impression of tears but Dennis clearly doesn't believe her, as he is slightly shaking his head while she makes many of these comments. He looks up sharply when Chrissie claims she loved him whatever he did, and appears bored by her continued lies.

Dennis leaves looking upset (in an annoyed way), saying he has to go to the bookies. Dot follows him and tells him he has to deal with this, and he takes a deep breath and turns and says he's fine. She tells him to think of Sharon, he can't just run away. She waffles about Jesus, and Dennis looks angry and sneers that he doesn't think that Jesus has any time for what he is feeling right now (which looks something like "bordering on murderous", I guess angry with Chrissie for upsetting Sharon rather than anything else).

Sam is interviewed and tells her story. They ask how she knew where the body was, and was she there when he was killed. Sam asks why they aren't arresting Chrissie. She agrees quietly that she was there. She is hopeless at trying to cover up her involvement, as she tells them she saw him murdered but then claims she doesn't know what the implement was and continues like this, making herself look very guilty. She tells them Chrissie hit him twice, until he was dead, and if she hadn't agreed to help her bury the body, Chrissie would have killed her too. She explains about dragging the body into the dirt hole and cries a bit, and makes Chrissie out to be cool and calculating. They ask if Chrissie kept Sam there by force - she could have run off at any time. She claimed to have witnessed a murder, and then Chrissie let her walk around assuming that she wouldn't tell anyone. Sam says she was scared, and Chrissie made her do it. Sam says Chrissie was getting away with it. DI Riddick says so she had to get even? Just like with Den? They ask where the murder weapon was. Sam says she took it away from the Vic. They ask why she agreed to do this, and left the pub, then came back, she is contradicting herself. They point out she lied before. Her lawyer asks to stop the interview so he can talk to her. Sam is finally hysterical, and DI Riddick watches her carefully as he makes the accusations. He stops the interview and finally says she should think carefully about what she DOES remember, I assume he thinks that the next interview will be the real story, as she realises that she is completely implicated.

Billy is upset and is annoyed when he overhears Pat and Dot discuss Sam being a murderess. Pat goes home and asks Billy if he really thinks she did it, and if he doesn't then he needs to give Sam his support - do what he is always banging on about - be a Mitchell.

The police ask about Zoe, and the Slaters say they haven't heard from her and she is moving about a lot. They ask about where they all were on Feb 18th.

Pauline comes back to find Chrissie and Sharon talking, and mentions that there are police all over the Slater house, thus worrying Chrissie who dashes off immediately and very suspiciously.

Kat and Old Mo are very vague and sound guilty as they say no-one can possibly remember what they were doing 6 months ago, and the police say that it was the night of the opening of the new club. Stacey interrupts and says that Zoe and Chrissie stayed over at their house that night. Charlie is cross after the police leave, saying that Chrissie didn't stay there, and is Zoe in trouble. Kat goes and finds Chrissie and tells her the alibi Stacey gave her, literally seconds before she is arrested. Dennis and Sharon look on grimly.

Fri 2 Sep 2005

Sharon is hysterical and Dennis says it's just a formality, and maybe Chrissie just wanted us to think she was upset. Sharon looks at him incredulously and Dennis looks a bit sheepish as he is saying that Chrissie may not have been as upset as they thought.

Sharon sits around in the square looking at the Vic. Dennis comes to get her with Pauline, who says Sharon will have to tell Vicki. Pauline goes inside and Dennis sits with her and puts his had on her leg, and she gets up and runs over to the police at the Vic. She asks when they can go back in the Vic. Dennis says she doesn't ever have to go back in there he can get their things and they can go away. Sharon goes in, and talks about Sam. Dennis says she could hardly lift a barrel, she couldn't have dragged Den's body and buried it all by herself. Sharon goes on about wanting to know the truth and why would Sam bury him here. Dennis asks if she really does want to know the whole truth. He says Chrissie is involved - he cites the reaction that Chrissie gave him when he told her about Zoe - she was cool, no tears, no screams, how could he, nothing - she wanted revenge. Sharon asked for answers, he is giving them to her. All this crying is not real. Dennis asks her to come with him, move away, go to see Vicki. Sharon says Den is dead, and whines a bit. Dennis says it's happened, let's move on - he is dead, does she want him to start crying?

She asks him about Den and Dennis says why does it matter what he thinks, it never meant the same to him. Sharon says she didn't want to marry a man who's afraid to show his feelings. Dennis raises his voice, and says Den manipulated them, he tried to destroy them, drive a wedge between them. Is he supposed to forget he slept with Zoe just to split them up? Sharon angrily asks Dennis to say that he's sorry, and hysterically says he just has to say that he didn't want Den dead, that he isn't pleased it's happened, and she would believe him. Dennis looks at her and tells her straight that he did want Den dead. [Wow, that was honest, I'd forgotten how gorgeous Dennis can be, since he's been rather dull lately]. Sharon is upset. Dennis says she is grieving for him, and he is trying to be there for her - he's not going to cry for Den now, right from the start he never understood how she could forgive him that easily and forget everything that happened. Sharon says she loved him, and then adds that she hasn't forgiven him, but that doesn't mean he wasn't her Dad, and she wails hysterically that she told him that she hated him and didn't have a Dad, and he died thinking that. Dennis looks upset by her crying and whining, and tries to put his arms around her, but she pushes him away, and he says plaintively "let me hold you." She walks off, but he follows her to the cellar where she is looking at the ruins, and he puts his arm around her, and finally she lets him.

Charlie tells Stacey crossly that it's criminal to give a false alibi. They argue, and Kat tries to defend her. Mo agrees with Charlie. Kat says Zoe got away and she won't let them bring her back. Kat secretly talks to Stacey, telling her that she must be careful, and never change what she has said to the police now - they will try to trick her. Stacey says she will be careful. Kat also happens to talk to Zoe when she calls later, and sounds very odd - it is surprising Zoe didn't notice her unusual behaviour.

Alfie mentions Zoe to Kat, and she jumps in and starts saying that Zoe didn't kill Den. Alfie looks surprised at her outburst and says fine, no-one's suggesting that.

The police talk to Sam again about her lies. They also talk to Chrissie who tells the credit card lie and says that Sam had told her that pretending she had heard from Den would cover up the credit card fraud. She adds with fake innocence "you don't think she was using me to cover up his death?" They say that Chrissie had Den's phone, and Pat received a text later. Chrissie says that she never saw the phone after the first few days - a call from Den's mate - then it disappeared, but Sam used to nick stuff, money from the till, booze, etc, she used to swan around like she owned the place. She mentions that Sam even stole Pauline's doorstop, and she had to give it back, and they had an argument about it and she eventually had to sack Sam.

Meanwhile, the police show Sam the mobile and confront her with the text message details and the fact it was found in her flat. Then they show photos of blood under the sink. Sam admits that it's probably Den's blood, and has another break with her lawyer. He tells her to tell them everything. She does, and this obviously contradicts a lot of her other story when she forgets her previous lies and says she managed to sneak out and hide the doorstop under her sink, because she knew she needed something to hold over Chrissie after the murder.

DI Riddick questions Chrissie and he looks sceptical as she gives her story. He asks about the mobile phone. Chrissie really overdoes the "Do you think that Sam is implicated?" line, since she knows Sam has been arrested and is clearly the major suspect and you'd think she would just assume that Sam did it from her statement and her digging up the body. She mentions that after the break in at Sam's she found the doorstop, and thought Sam had just stolen it, so she returned it to Pauline. She carefully recites her alibi and it matches Stacey's perfectly, obviously, then she says that she took Zoe home at about 11, when Sam and Den started rowing violently.

The police go to collect the dog doorstop, and ask Pauline if she has had it all the time. Pauline says she lent it to Chrissie a while ago, and twigs that they are taking it for evidence.

The police confront Sam with the evidence and her new story, which now includes Zoe, mentioned accidentally. They say that they have statements placing Chrissie and Zoe elsewhere, and cab records showing Sharon leaving the Vic at ten to eleven that night, and she is being charged with murder.

Chrissie is released, and Riddick says somewhat ironically, it's a shame she washed the doorstop before giving it back, it could have been vital evidence. Her response is guilty, and he gives her a very suspicious look as she puts her hand out to shake his hand. (He can't possibly really believe that she had no idea about Sam). She says sorry, and shakes his hand coolly. She walks out of the station, looking bemused that she has got away with it, and amazingly, Jake is there to meet her saying he thought he was the only one who got into trouble. She runs to his arms for a hug.

Mon 5 Sep 2005

Stacey is worried and talks to Kat, saying what if Chrissie tells the police she lied, and Chrissie has disappeared now. Dennis asks Sharon if there is any sign of Chrissie, and she says no. He looks irritated and goes to the bookies.

Pauline tells Sharon she can't believe she's opening up. Sharon goes to the Vic and calls Chrissie's phone numerous times, with no answer. Rosie and Mo arrive for work.

Sam is in court and is horrified to discover her barrister is telling her she will be remanded in custody for two weeks. She says she can't go to prison, and he says it's very unlikely she will get bail at this point - her best chance is in a few weeks at crown court. She insists that he ask and says Billy will get the money. He is desperate and asks Johnny, who is amazed at the idiocy of the question and says he won't have his name bandied around court and his monetary affairs investigated. He tells Billy that he can ask for the day off, and Johnny then says yes, but give me more notice next time.

Billy looks in the yellow pages for loan sharks, and Pat sees him and brings him her savings account, which still contains the 25K she was going to use for the bookies. Billy is thrilled and hugs Pat enthusiastically!

Chrissie arrives in the Vic and Sharon has a go at her. Chrissie passes Stacey at the bar and whispers "thanks you". Jake tells Chrissie to take no notice of people talking, it's her pub and he is here to support her.

Alfie chats to Jake, asking what he is doing here, and Jake says he missed Chrissie, and he is here for her - he will sort it out with Johnny. He goes to see him, and Johnny is reasonable and happy as soon as he hears that Danny isn't anywhere nearby. Johnny asks hopefully if he's dead, or in prison? He is out of the country, according to Jake (thank goodness). Johnny says as long as Jake isn't stepping on his toes that is fine, and he asks why Jake is back, and Jake replies it's personal.

Billy goes to court and Sam's lawyer shows the court the bail offer of 25K, but it is refused because she lives near lots of witnesses, and may abscond. Sam wails at Billy that he has to do something, but she is taken to prison.

Alfie decides to tell Kat tonight, and Ian advises him that he needs his strategy sorted out, because Kat always manages to get round him. He tells her they will go for a drink, and she arranges a very expensive restaurant and dresses in the most tacky and revolting leopard print dress with gold lame cardigan, with a bit of flabby under-arm blubber peeking out between the two. Alfie manages to drink lots, but eventually she pushes him too far and says she wants them to be together again properly or not at all. She gives him a cheap ring and asks him to marry her again. He takes off the ring and says sorry, he can't do it.

Demi isn't helping out with looking after her own baby, and her parents are pissed off about her laziness. Keith decides to make her do it by leaving the baby screaming annoyingly until she comes to make it shut up. She is also having time off school and the rest of the kids tease Darren about her.

Billy goes back after the court appearance and has a go at the people in the Vic who are sympathetic to Chrissie but not to Sam. He starts to rant and smashes some glasses, so Jake throws him out.

Tue 6 Sep 2005

Jake arrives to see Chrissie early in the morning, and he laughs at Pauline's tea cosy, just as Pauline walks in. Dennis comes down and asks Chrissie exactly what happened that night she stayed at the Slaters' house. Jake defends Chrissie, and Dennis says he is only asking questions, isn't he allowed to do that, and Sharon quickly suggests Dennis goes for his run.

Pauline comments that Chrissie is "chirpy", not exactly acting like a grieving widow.

Dot has her test again. Sonia says she shouldn't drink tea if she wants to relax, she should have herbal tea, and Dot says the last time she had herbal tea didn't end well. [haha, yes we remember!] Sonia takes her home for a hypnosis/relaxation tape.

Jake has a go at Billy for his comments to Chrissie and Billy says he has blind faith, and he tells Jake that Chrissie was trying to sell the Vic before she was arrested.

Jake asks Dennis [who has just come back from his run and is looking very hot in more ways than one], and Dennis says yes he knew she was selling, and it's just like her to keep it secret - he always gets the feeling that she is holding something back. Jake says he could say the same about Dennis, and Dennis says (presumably thinking how accurately that proves his point) "then again, you don't know what I've done." Jake says Chrissie has been through hell, and does Dennis really think she stoved his head in, and buried the body? Dennis replies that it's more likely than Sam doing it. Jake says Den stole the pub from Sam. Dennis says most murders are driven by the heart, not the wallet. Jake is a bit taken aback, and says so you think she did it? Dennis asks if he really cares what he thinks, and Jake says not really. Dennis asks how well he knows her - what is she doing right now?

Meanwhile at the Vic, Chrissie is trying to get the sale finalised, offering a discount to the buyer. She is interrupted by Sharon arriving and puts the phone down quickly. Sharon makes a pointed comment about Chrissie having a good time with Jake, and says that her life is on hold until Den is buried, and she looks disapproving of the fact that Chrissie's isn't.

Alfie avoids opening the stall, and Ian goes to visit, saying he has seen Kat on the stall and she is really upset. Alfie says it was hard, she asked him to marry her, and he turned her down, and it was very upsetting. Then Kat arrives and asks Ian what Alfie has told him - she knows that he knows they were trying to get back together. She questions him further, and Ian accidentally lets slip that Alfie was worrying about it all day. Kat is horrified when she realises that he was always planning to dump her, even before she asked him.

Little Mo arrives to see Alfie and ask if they are still on for tonight, and then there is a loud banging on the door, and Mo says she can hide. Alfie says don't go, and answers the door to a loud, hysterically shouting Kat. She storms into the kitchen, and Alfie tries to stop her, but when she gets there Mo has left. She screeches at him for a bit, wailing some irrational and idiotic accusations, which Alfie calmly ignores. Then she leaves and goes home, saying to Charlie and Mo that she is leaving to stay with Zoe.

Meanwhile, Billy is spreading rumours about Chrissie, saying that Den was off with other women ever since she got here, and then suddenly he disappears, and Chrissie plans to sell the Vic. Chrissie asks him to leave the Vic. Pat encourages him. Billy phones Sam, who is pathetic and a wreck. Billy says she needs more help than he can give her, and he wants to call Peggy. Sam immediately makes him promise not to.

Jake asks to talk to Chrissie and she tries to seduce him, but he says it doesn't feel right. Meanwhile, Pauline is downstairs, saying how easily Chrissie has got over Den dying, and wondering whether she'll be taking part in the champagne celebrations later (there is a bottle on ice).

Dot passes her driving test and goes to the Vic, where Jim has arranged the champagne with Chrissie. Alfie goes to the Vic to find Kat and apologise and ask to be mates and she makes her announcement - that she is leaving Walford for good.

Thu 8 Sep 2005

It seems that everyone in the entire square has a hangover - and we missed the party, or else that must have been a potent bottle of champagne that Jim bought for Dot. He says she can't drive today because she will still be over the limit.

Yolande, possibly the only person who isn't hungover, is particularly judgemental when Kat arrives in the square drunkenly singing on the back of a lorry, echoing that night after she pulled Dennis, but sadly we don't see Dennis so there's no pointed reminder of their previous casual sexual relationship. Yolande is also being a bit nasty to Patrick, as he's also hungover. He and Jim try to escape from the women to a bit of peace, and go to the allotments and discover Charlie's secret hut, which is amazingly equipped with a TV now, and they take over his shed and make him turn off his old western to the racing channel instead.

Kat goes home and behaves very obnoxiously to Old Mo as she packs.

Jake talks vaguely to Alfie about Chrissie, and Alfie is no help, after all he is still only halfway to sorting out his own love life. Jake seems a bit scared of Chrissie's rather forceful flirting with him. He goes to see her, and Sharon walks in on them almost kissing. Sharon makes some bitchy remark about Jake (this is totally unbelievable, she was fine when Chrissie was flirting with Jake before and encouraged it, Den had left Chrissie months before that).

Alfie is moping after seeing the drunken slutty Kat this morning (he has no taste, I should have remembered). Little Mo says she understands, he was married to her - still is really, and the fact she is leaving must seem like the end of an era. Alfie glumly nods and mumbles a bit. Little Mo makes the mistake of telling Alfie that her bloke has broken her heart, and you can only take that sort of knock a few times. She then whitters on about how magical it is when you meet the right person. This has the opposite to the required effect and makes Alfie runs around looking for Kat (Oh NOOOOO!). He finds her and totally incredibly he kneels down and begs her not to leave, and says he wants her after all, and still loves her.

Sam says idiotically that all she has to do is tell the truth in court, as Chrissie killed Den, so that's that. Her brief tells her in a patronising tone (not unreasonably given how stupid she is being) that he will have to do a bit more than that - try to *prove* she is telling the truth, for instance, and since all the evidence backs all Chrissie's stories, they will have to take another approach - and he hesitantly (given her irrational and lunatic reactions in the past) suggests insanity. After the interview, she refuses to see Billy when he phones. Pat is supportive to him, but he thinks she needs proper family.

Chrissie entices Jake upstairs while Tracey is serving, and have sex (presumably) and a chat, in which Jake says repeatedly that he will support Chrissie whatever she has done, and she almost seems ready to tell him, starting by saying - even if she had done the things they are accusing her of? He says he doesn't mind her not telling him, he knows she will when she is ready. Meanwhile, downstairs, the witches have an evil bitch about her - Pauline and Dot go on about her being so unconcerned about the murder, and Sharon comes in an overhears. She asks where Chrissie is and when she is told they are both upstairs, she rushes up and bursts into the bedroom (how rude! it's not even her house!). She stands in that doorway in much the same way Dennis did when he found Den and Zoe there. She calls Chrissie a bitch.

Sam has a visitor in prison and she refuses to see whoever it is. The guard is nice to her, saying she should wash her face, brush her hair, and make the effort to see them. [Well, Sam might have done this, it's not clear] The visitor is Peggy. [So in the space of 10 minutes since Billy decided to call her, she has flown from Brazil?].

Fri 9 Sep 2005

Sharon shouts at Chrissie saying that Den isn't buried yet, and she is doing it with Jake in their bed. Chrissie says, quite deservedly, that she didn't expect Sharon to walk into her bedroom, this is her flat. She reminds Sharon that she was the one telling her to go on, go for it with Jake. Sharon says she could have waited until after the funeral. Chrissie says it could take weeks for them to release the body. Sharon starts snivelling again, and going on and on about how upset she is, now Den's dead, again, and she had to do it all before, and has no-one to talk to about it, not even Dennis.

Sam is hysterical as Peggy tells her it is OK, Den conned her out of the Vic, she can't blame her, but don't worry they will get her off. Sam protests loudly that she didn't do anything! Peggy says this is her, she reacted in the same way any Mitchell would have done, you can only take so much before you hit back. Peggy says Sam has shown what she's made of, and that's what it takes to stop the Den Watts of this world, she has shown her true blood. Sam smiles weakly and says yes.

Peggy arrives back and goes to tell Billy off about not mentioning Andy, the Vic, and why didn't he look after he better? He says he isn't worthy of the name Mitchell. [Hmm that's rather unfair.] Peggy goes to Pat's house (which was hers, of course) and Pat is stunned to see her. Peggy says she has nowhere else to go. She says Sam told her about Andy, and how he left the house to Pat. Pat says sorry about that, and Peggy says "sorry enough to give the house back?" Pat raises an eyebrow, and asks if Peggy is just here to pick a fight. Peggy says no, she is just here to ask a favour - can Pat put her up for a few days, as she has nowhere to go?

Alfie and Kat are cosy in the living room and Nana comes in and says she knew they would be one day. Little Mo is rushing around searching for Kat, she is supposed to be at the airport soon. She sees Billy who is very upset and she asks him what is wrong. They chat and Mo is very nice to him, saying he was there for Sam all those times, when Andy mistreated her, and all that, and where was Peggy. She says it makes her so angry when people are unfair to him, he is a good man.

Kat goes home to tell Charlie she isn't going after all. Meanwhile, Nana reminds Alfie he has to tell Little Mo.

Alfie is surprised and delighted to see Peggy. She goes into the Vic to see Chrissie, and says she wants to apologise for everything (what) and offer condolences about her husband. She says she doesn't expect to be friends, but doesn't want to be enemies either. Chrissie appreciates the gesture and offers Peggy a drink.

Sharon arrives and says hello to Peggy, who says she is sorry to hear about her father, and it is terrible to lose her father, whatever he has done, but Den was always going to come to a sticky end, you can't expect to do what he did and get away with it. Sharon is furious, and throws a drink over her. A fight is averted as Alfie tells them to calm down, and Peggy says Den Watts was scum, she was married to him, she must have known it (Chrissie); everyone round here knew it, and if you stop kidding yourself for five seconds, you know it too - he got everything he deserved.

Pauline goes to salsa night, and there are only two customers, her and that old bloke she was friendly with last time (Joe). The instructor winks at the bloke. Pauline is slightly embarrassed and leaves quickly after the lesson.

Sonia chats with her friend about some film they saw, and then they start a slightly pretentious debate about Asian cinema, and then happen to ask Martin what he thinks, and he replies "how should I know?"

Alfie tells Little Mo that he can't see her any more - he has decided to give it another go with Kat. Little Mo realises that the bloke she was seeing was him, and bursts into tears. Alfie looks upset and says he meant everything he ever said about her being the nicest and kindest girl he has ever known. She says he really thinks all those things and she is still only second best! He hugs her and says she is the last person he wanted to hurt, but Kat is like a disease, she gets inside your system and he can't get rid of her. Mo says destiny, then, you can't go against that. She says tearfully how selfish would she be if she didn't want the two of them to be happy, as they are two of people she loves most in the world. Billy is passing and sees Alfie give Mo a hug as she is crying, and he looks rather upset!

Mon 12 Sep 2005

The Slaters are delighted to hear that Kat and Alfie are back together, and Old Mo decides to have a dinner to celebrate, but Little Mo says she has to work (then asks Chrissie if she can). Kat goes to ask Chrissie if Mo can have the evening off, and Chrissie agrees, of course, so LIttle Mo makes up another excuse about having to babysit for Ian, and offers to do so. That is also cancelled later.

Jake suggests a karaoke night to cheer the place up, instead of just having people come to look at a murder scene. Chrissie agrees, but evil bitch Sharon has a nasty little dig at her about that as well. Jake defends Chrissie, and she points out that Den would want the pub to carry on.

Peggy is being a nuisance at Pat's, criticising all her choices and her taste. Then, Pat finds that Billy has left a note and gone. She blames Peggy, who was extremely vicious to him. Peggy apologises to Pat and offers to move out, then Pat lets her stay as long as she wants. Billy is telling Sam that he will confess to the murder for her. She says it's a hopeless idea, and there is no evidence, besides he can't do that. He says she has people who care about her outside, whereas he has nothing worth living for and no-one would care if he were in there, now that Little Mo is obviously dating Alfie. Sam tries to cheer him up.

Demi is going back to school despite Darren warning her that everyone said she ran away because she was pregnant again and that she's a prostitute now (well, close enough, really). Keith makes her a good luck card.

Kat notices Little Mo's reluctance to celebrate with her and Alfie, and asks why. Mo almost tells her, but is interrupted. When Alfie arrives, Little Mo offers her good wishes and Alfie is touched at her unselfishness. As they walk across the square as a group, he gives her a little hug of thanks and at that precise moment, Billy looks at them and his misapprehension that they are a couple is reinforced.

Tue 13 Sep 2005

Alfie makes Kat breakfast, and she looks, hmm well, old and haggard, but cheerful in Alfie's West Ham shirt. She has to go home to get changed and made up and Alfie asks her to move in properly. Kat says they should wait until they are really sure.

Jake and Chrissie are having breakfast in the Vic. Sharon is having breakfast at Pauline's when Martin suggests to Sonia that they go to the Vic. She does some work, and Martin goes without her. Naomi comes round to chat to Sonia with a bottle of wine.

Billy is a mess, and Pat asks if he is OK. He says that he saw Sam and she gave him good advice, to get on with his life, so he goes to see Mo. She isn't in, but Old Mo mentions Alfie and Billy looks upset. As he walks past the stall, Alfie says a cheerful hello, and BIlly looks miffed and goes to buy a bottle of whisky. Patrick asks if he had a bit of bad luck, and jokes that you have to laugh or you'd cry.

Yolande teases Pauline about her and Joe, when he lets slip that they were the only two at the class last week. At the class, the teacher tells them all that they were the only two there, and Old Mo and Pat tease her too.

Chrissie announces the "lovers" karaoke night. She says the first drink is on the house. The salsa class all arrive and Old Mo drags Joe along too. He chats to Pauline a lot. Yolande, Pat and Old Mo chat about Pauline and Joe being together, and Patrick says they are like something out of Macbeth, hubble, bubble. Then they tell Martin, and he is amazed, and Pauline sees his look and rushes off home. Martin follows and says she should enjoy herself, and go back to continue chatting to Joe, and he says he's going home to see Sonia anyway.

Chrissie calls the first singer - Kat, and she and Alfie sings a love song. Little Mo looks miserable. At home, Billy practises being polite to Alfie and Mo as a couple, and saying "no hard feelings". He drinks a lot!

Johnny apologises to Ruby for being busy tonight, and she says she needs a quiet night in for her packing for school tomorrow, then she immediately calls Stacey to come over for a party. They open one of Tina's bottles of wine, and Johnny arrives home and catches them drinking. He angrily tells them to come with him, and he takes them to the club, where he has set up a surprise party. He has a table set, with non-alcoholic cocktails and a waiter to look after them both.

After their song, Alfie asks Kat to get back together properly, because he wants children. She is thrilled and even cries with happiness, and Billy walks in and thinks she is crying because Alfie is with Mo. He chats away to her, saying he will shake Alfie's hand, and buy Kat a drink. Mo just looks confused (as usual). Alfie helps Chrissie change barrels, and he chats to Mo, and Billy sees them come out of the back room together. He grabs the microphone and rambles on a bit singing "I will survive" then he says he is surviving, and he knew they were meant to be together when he saw them kissing, and no hard feelings - so a toast to the happy couple, congratulations to Alfie and Little Mo. Everyone looks stunned, except Little Mo, who had guessed what Billy was going to say and tried to get Charlie to stop him, but too late.

Thu 15 Sep 2005

Kat drags Little Mo out of the Vic by her hair and they have a little fight until Mo runs away terrified. Billy is drunk and Alfie tries to make it a joke. Chrissie continues the karaoke. Charlie accosts Alfie and asks if this is true - if he has been dating both of them. Alfie goes after Billy, and asks him why he did it - he had promised not to say anything. Billy rambles drunkenly even mentioning that he offered to take the rap for Den's murder. Alfie says he was dating them both, and Billy is incredulous, saying they are sisters, didn't he expect them to talk? Alfie says perceptively that whatever he says will sound bad. He says he loved them both, of all the women he ever knew, they were first and second, and he knew that which ever one he chose he'd be with for the rest of his life. Billy says he was stringing them both along, and he should leave now, because they are so close, and he has destroyed the sisters' relationship.

At home, Mo finally faces Kat who bullies her viciously. Mo says it's over, her and Alfie. Kat screeches a bit. Mo explains they were friends for ages. Kat doesn't care about that, she wants to know when the exact date on which Mo stole her husband. Mo says she supposes Xmas, when they kissed under the mistletoe. Kat rants viciously asking for an exact date when she ruined her marriage. Kat asks whether Alfie tried any good moves. Mo says she wouldn't - she hasn't "you know" with anyone since Graham (raped her). Kat says they didn't have a relationship if they never slept together. Mo says there is more to a relationship than that, but Kat laughs nastily at her. Kat says Alfie has been sleeping with her, on Monday, so Mo and Alfie mean nothing - there is a line and she and Alfie didn't cross it, they are just friends. Kat says she knows Alfie, and sex with someone else is betrayal, but anything else can be repaired. Mo says if that's what Kat thinks, she only knows half of Alfie, and they loved each other. Kat is dismissive and laughs at Mo like she is a stupid little kid. Mo says Alfie kept telling her that he loved her, and she was the one. She says she stepped aside when Kat came back. Kat says Mo is a lying cow and says she should have told Kat, but Mo is too weak and just a little shadow, but she's too afraid to take responsibility for what she did. Kat says she loves being the victim, playing a little child, and everyone feeling sorry for her, and tells her to take responsibility for her actions in her mousy little life. Kat pushes her over, and then quickly says sorry. Mo says Trevor used to throw her to the other side of the room - that really didn't hurt. Mo says she loves him, and giving him up for Kat was the hardest thing she ever had to do, she shouts that she is suffering as well, she has lost both the sister she loves and the man she loves. Kat says he was with her first, and Mo says every man is with Kat first - Kat shouts and screams and smashes up the place, so she gets all the attention. Mo says for once in her mousy life, she decided to put herself first, and Kat thinks the world revolves around her and is a spoilt brat. Kat proves her selfish bitchy nature, concluding that Mo should back off because Alfie is "hers", and her only hope. Mo runs upstairs.

Alfie turns up at the door and Kat opens it.

Fri 16 Sep 2005

(Continued)

Alfie comes to see Kat, and asks where Mo is. Kat says sarcastically she stabbed Mo and cut her up in bits and put her in the wheely bin. She says Mo is upstairs, probably sobbing her heart out. Alfie says he can explain.

He says when she left.... Kat interrupts saying that it's all her fault, so he moved in on her immediate family. Alfie says it wasn't like that - you and me weren't together. He admits he was seeing Mo, then when Kat came back he was confused. Kat throws crockery at him, and it cuts his head, and he says she's mental and she shouts at him. Kat says Mo told her he never slept with her is it true? Alfie says yes, and says he doesn't love Mo any more, at Kat's prompting. Mo is outside the door, and comes in and says she doesn't want them arguing over her. Then she sees Alfie's bleeding head and goes to get some water, but Alfie goes to sort it out himself. Kat is a bitch and Mo actually finds some backbone and says Kat doesn't deserve Alfie, she stands there deciding whether she wants Alfie back or not, but she doesn't care about her feelings. Mo says Kat couldn't understand how wonderful it was for her to get a man like Alfie, after Trevor, and she loved him. She says Alfie was a really important part of her life, and she gave him up for Kat, because she's her sister. She runs upstairs again in tears.

Kat goes and shouts at Alfie, saying that Mo wouldn't have gone out with Alfie straight away - how many times did he have to ask her? Alfie says she was sweet and gentle, no sides to her, unlike Kat. Kat says Alfie is worse than every other man who treated her badly (!hmm, great memory she has, how awful to date another woman after his wife had walked out on him, much worse than Harry, raping her and getting her pregnant, when she was a teenage slapper, for instance!).

Alfie explains he thought she had gone for good, he'd lost her. He asks her not to give up on them, there is no-one else that comes close - give it one more chance. They kiss, supposedly passionately, which is indicated by them knocking over furniture. Upstairs, Little Mo goes to bed sadly.

Kat starts asking Alfie what Mo could give him that she can't. She could understand a one night stand, but not this. Alfie says incredulously, so she would have forgiven him if he had slept with Mo, but can't now? Kat says she could have understood that. Alfie tries to convince her they can work it out and things will go back to normal. Kat starts talking about there being different kinds of love and whitters on about loving Zoe so much, when she was a baby. She says that sort of love, when you will do anything for another person is stronger than the "love" they are claiming to have for each other. She goes on, rather boringly, about crying over Zoe when she was a child and she would have killed herself that night, if it hadn't been for Little Mo, who got into her bed when she was sobbing, and hugged her. Kat says that she feels guilty for forgetting that, and them being together will break Mo's heart, because Mo loved Alfie and she gave all that up. Kat says family parties and Christmases would be too painful, knowing this, so she can't be Alfie's wife any more, so he has to just go. Alfie says tearfully, she can't mean that, but she does, and he leaves forlornly.

Kat goes upstairs and comforts Mo in bed.

Mon 19 Sep 2005

Peggy tells Billy to get a backbone and get on with his own life instead of moping over Mo and Alfie. Jake brings him food, and tells Alfie to stop hiding at home, he has rent to pay, and Kat will forgive him eventually. Alfie says not this time, and he wants to say sorry but it's not enough.

Billy is moping in the club and Johnny tells him chop chop. The workman that Billy is supposed to be supervising makes sarky comments that his boss doesn't think much of him. Billy retaliates by telling him to move the security camera and the workman says it was all arranged with the boss. Billy overrules him. When Johnny comes back, he tells Billy off and sends him home.

The police come to see Chrissie and refuse to talk to Sharon, as they need to see the next of kin. They tell her she has to go to the coroner's to get the body. Dennis is business-like and wants an undertaker to take care of everything, but Sharon is keen to arrange the funeral, and Chrissie says it's fine by her. Sharon goes off and Dennis says he has to work, which surprises her a bit, but then she says OK. Pauline tells him off for not being with Sharon, and implies that he should be sorry too. Dennis replies should he make out he's all cut up - crocodile tears go down well with her sort - even better than the real thing, and he continues sarcastically he'll get a wreath - what about "DAD" in 3-foot high letters? Pauline snaps back that he certainly takes after Den.

Pat and Peggy chat about bar work and soon start to clash and snipe at each other over Frank! Peggy comments about Billy, saying he's not fit to bear the name, and Pat defends Billy and says look at Phil, Grant, and Sam. Peggy says it wasn't so long ago Pat was her cleaner. Pat says Billy tried warning her about Andy Hunter - Billy was the only person sticking up for Sam, busting a gut for her, the same as he did for Phil, he is loyal and stands by those he cares about.

Sharon comes back and asks Chrissie if they can have the wake in the Vic. Chrissie says it doesn't seem appropriate since that's where he was killed, and Sharon reluctantly agrees and asks Pauline if she can have it at her house. Pauline goes with Sharon to help her arrange it, and tells Chrissie that they should have the wake at the Vic, and she steamrollers Chrissie into agreeing. Sharon then tells Chrissie that she will move back into the Vic to help Chrissie, who obviously isn't coping alone, and since the two of them were the only ones who loved Den, and Chrissie looks uncomfortable as she keeps up her lie. [The strain is telling.].

Old Mo answers the door to Alfie and says he is a snake and should rot in hell. Charlie comes and slams the door in his face. Alfie quietly sighs to the door he just wanted them to know how sorry he is.

He goes to the Vic to apologise to Little Mo. Then he goes to find Charlie at the allotments, but Charlie tells Alfie to go away, and won't listen. Charlie whines that Alfie is a charmer, and has the patter which puts the smile back on people's faces when they are down. Alfie sighs and gives up.

Little Mo goes to explain to Billy that she tried to resist falling for Alfie, but couldn't. She says Billy will always matter to her, and they are still Freddie's family. Billy says they aren't and accuses her of lying by omission, and Mo insists that she had told him they were over, so he didn't owe him an explanation about Alfie. She says they are still friends, and Billy says he can't have her in his life any more, so just go.

Peggy apologises to Billy and thanks him for looking after Sam. She says something implying Sam did it, and Billy objects again, saying that she has already made up her mind, hasn't she? She won't listen to anyone, even Sam.

Tue 20 Sep 2005

Peggy cooks Billy breakfast, and is generally nice to him, then wanders around looking for info on Sam. Billy says Sam couldn't change a fuse, she could hardly murder Den all by herself, then bury him in the Vic, and get the body covered up. Peggy sees Sam's solicitor, and is rather rude and patronising to him and says she wants his full attention. He says Sam hasn't produced anything to help her own defence and they have to be realistic. He is busy and has lots of phone calls to take when Peggy is interrupting him, so she eventually puts her hand on his phone, cutting off his call.

Peggy talks to Johnny - obviously knowing him from ages ago, and she says she is sorry to hear about his wife and daughter. She asks Johnny to ask his contacts about Marcus and he refuses, politely, saying that Chrissie is a clever woman and she will know everything that went on under her roof.

Nana and Alfie get on with their lonely lives, and Nana tells Alfie that at least she loves him. She sneaks off to the doctor without telling him.

Sharon phones Vicki to get her there for the funeral, but she is too "upset" to come over from America. Sharon organises the funeral details, and Dennis is very evasive whenever she talks to him about it. He is sitting morosely in the Vic, and she tries to get him to talk, but he won't. [Dennis is looking uncomfortable and acting a bit wound up over the last few days, so hopefully there will be some fireworks soon.]

Jake arrives at the Vic, saying he missed Chrissie last night, and she says he can't come to the Vic while Sharon and Dennis are staying there, it's like Piccadilly circus.

The scum family have "junkie slag" painted on their garden wall by some local school kids, who may be vandals, but at least it's justified and honest graffiti. They get a card from a relative abroad. [Hopefully these events will conspire to persuade/drive them out of the square, I'm really fed up with the whiny little slag and her equally slutty mother and dirty, illiterate thieving father and annoying brother, all of whom are acted by planks.] Mickey decides to go and visit the foreign relative.

Ugly Naomi drags Sonia away from Martin again (that must be every day and every night this week) and they do a questionnaire on the NHS around the square, looking for a representative demographic (!!!!!!). So they use 25 people in a 20-yard radius of the Vic, obviously. Garry says he's busy but then decides to chat up Naomi, who tells Sonia she'll do anything to get people to help her, so she strings Garry along for a bit. He entire experience of the NHS this year is helping a bloke on a stag night who got his head stuck in a bucket. When asked if the service was good he says he supposes so - they gave the guy his bucket back. Minty arrives and makes a huge joke about Garry's claim that he has to be superbly physically fit to do his job, saying of course he has a black belt in Feng Shui, and Sonia says isn't that all about furniture? Minty replies it's handy being able to chop a sofa in half with his bare hands.

Peggy asks Chrissie who denies knowing Marcus, and when Billy confirms that she did know him [how would he know?] Peggy says snidely that if she can lie about that, she can lie about anything. Peggy makes a nuisance of herself [specifically to Chrissie, that is, not just her usual evil witchy comments to the rest of the population]. She patronisingly tells Chrissie all her tips about bar work. She gossips loudly to Yolande, telling her all the things Chrissie is doing wrong, ensuring Peggy can hear. Yolande kindly tells Chrissie to take care of herself, and thinking of her last days with Paul, and how you can find peace after the funeral. Peggy tells Billy she sacked the solicitor, and Phil has a new lawyer, and she will find out who else was involved in Den's murder. Billy says Sam always said that Chrissie was up to something.

Chrissie has been hassled by Peggy, Pauline, Sharon, etc and ends up being stressed out and snapping at Jake, telling him to go, then a bit later she walks out of the Vic, where Jake conveniently turns up and comforts her.

Thu 22 Sep 2005

It's the funeral morning and Sharon looks at the funeral service leaflets, and Dennis walks in, then quickly walks out before she sees him, and just goes for a run as usual. Pauline asks him how Sharon is and he says he doesn't know, and hasn't spoken to her this morning. He says he only knew Den for a year or so, and Pauline says that he managed to turn his life upside down, even so. Dot sees him and he defensively says life goes on, and Dot suggests that today it might take a pause, to show some respect. Dennis replies that respect has to be earned.

Chrissie gets up and gets a coffee, and Sharon says she's just made one, and enough for Jake too. Chrissie looks a bit guilty about having him there, and says she needed someone, and Sharon had Dennis - Sharon agrees sympathetically.

Peggy tells Billy she is going to see Sam, and this time she will listen to her, because she has realised he may be right, Sam may not be capable of murder. Peggy is wearing a cheerful bright red jacket, in contrast to the black of most of the other major personalities in the square. Sam is amused that Peggy is finally listening to her and finds it hugely ironic that Peggy is telling her that she doesn't think Sam has it in her, and makes it sound like a criticism that she isn't capable of murder, and it seems that Peggy is disappointed in her. Peggy asks her to tell her everything. Sam says that Peggy always made Sam out to be weak and always tried to pretend she was more afraid so that she could protect her, and control her, after she lost control of her brothers. Peggy accepts the story and then asks Sam to be honest about the other thing now - who killed Den? Sam says Chrissie did, then framed her. Peggy is furious.

Pauline comes in to ask Chrissie about the caterers, and Chrissie says they can lay the food out any time they like. Pauline says she can't have the food here when the funeral directors are there. Chrissie is horrified to discover that the body is going to be brought to the pub before it goes to the cemetery, and Sharon says rather dismissively that she assumed it would be OK, since this was Den's home, and that is the tradition. Dennis, back from his run doesn't look happy about it either, but doesn't take sides, or in fact say a word at all. He is very quiet and aloof all day, and when Sharon says this is right, Den always came back to the Vic. Dennis says maybe he should have given it a miss that last time eh? Sharon asks him if he thinks she's wrong, and he says no, it's fine, and he quickly walks out.

Chrissie sits in the square and Kat comes to gloat about this being the worst day of Chrissie's life, and Chrissie replies does Kat really think she hadn't worked that out for herself?

The coffin arrives at the Vic and Jake supports Chrissie. People wander around the square, and as they struggle to get the doors open wide enough to get the coffin in, Jim tells Pauline they need her doorstop. [haha]

Upstairs, Dennis says brusquely "let's get this over and done with". Sharon hassles him to "show some feelings". He says Den was her father. Sharon pushes Dennis to talk, and he tersely admits he's only doing this for her, and he can't forgive and forget what Den did. She says that today is their last chance to put all this behind them. Dennis says today is about a dad who Sharon loved and lost, but at least there was love there in the first place. He says, suddenly angry, "that man was everything that was screwed up and twisted about my life, and that's why I'm going - to see it all go to hell." Sharon whines that while she is grieving, he will be practically setting off fireworks. Dennis says "I'm going: you can't ask me for anything else. It's the best I can do."

Mickey arranges a booze cruise to France to see his sister Dawn, and invites Gus and Martin. Unfortunately Martin can't make it (and he is the one providing the van), as Sonia is too busy to help him on the stall, so it seems to be all off. Patrick and Jim accost Mickey and offer him Jim's jalopy, and Mickey says OK (muttering under his breath "if I'm desperate"). In the square, Mickey and Gus discuss the funeral, and that there seems to be hardly anyone there. Mickey says it's like weddings - not such a big deal the second time round. Gus and Mickey try again to arrange the booze cruise, and mention it to Garry and Minty (who really should have access to transport).

In the Vic, the service starts and Dot asks where Dennis is - Sharon says he is not coming. He sits alone upstairs, looking tense and thoughtful while the speeches go on around the coffin. He watches out of the window as the coffin is carried out of the door. Pauline tells Sharon it reminds her of the last time they did this, when Sharon stayed away, and Sharon says Dennis isn't staying away out of choice - she told him not to come. Upstairs, Dennis turns the radio on, and switches to some suitably dirge-like music channel, then he turns it up really loud and looks upset, close to tears. Later he walks purposefully through the square, while Minty and Garry comment behind his back that surely he has a funeral to go to and think they have mistaken the time?

At the graveside, Chrissie says her speech and Sharon cries. A couple of cabs arrive during the period of the ceremony and Dot thinks that Dennis will come. As Chrissie starts a reading, one cab door opens and Peggy arrives in her red jacket and shouts "murderer"! Peggy says Sam has told her the truth and shouts at Chrissie to tell Den she is sorry. She flies at her, and pushes Chrissie into the open grave into which the coffin was recently lowered. Chrissie is unhurt by the fall, but slightly hysterical, as one might expect. [This was actually quite funny, but probably not supposed to be!]

Fri 23 Sep 2005

Everyone comes back from the funeral and gossip about Peggy. Dennis watches the cars arrive from across the square, and keeps a low profile. Jake tells Chrissie that no-one deserves what happened to her, and Chrissie says "don't they?", which gives Jake pause for thought. Peggy rants to Billy about Chrissie.

Alfie finds Nana's hospital letter. She says it's just routine, but he knows it isn't. He tells her he will take her and have a nice day out after the appointment, go for lunch in a pub. She says he has a real gift for taking something bad and turning it into something lovely.

Garry tells Minty they should go on the booze cruise. Gus is trying to get a van for Mickey, and tells him he has good new/bad news, but the driver is his brother Jules. Mickey isn't impressed.

Charlie finds Dennis by the allotment and asks about the funeral, and Dennis replies that he has no idea and compares it to Charlie going to Harry's funeral. He says look at what Den did to us, to everyone around us. A dad is someone who looks after his kids. Charlie says he didn't go to Harry's funeral, but he still cried for him - he was his brother. Dennis says harshly that Charlie is soft and walks off.

Sharon tells Chrissie that what Peggy said was evil and twisted, and she'll support Chrissie. She says that the only reason she hasn't gone round there is that Peggy has lost her daughter, like she has lost her dad, so she knows how Peggy feels.

Dot is looking for Dennis and takes him to her house. She asks what he did to make Sharon tell him to stay away. Dennis says he hated the man, and even though he's dead he still hates him so he won't pretend otherwise. Dot tells him not to waste his life in bitterness; to make his peace with Den, and with what might have been: there is only one person suffering here, and it's not Den. He gets up to leave, and she tells him what happened at the funeral.

Billy and Peggy chat, and Peggy says the Slaters are giving Chrissie an alibi and she will find out why. Peggy goes to shout at Charlie about his daughters covering for Chrissie and Sam being behind bars. Charlie won't talk about it, and says Peggy believes her family, and this is his family.

Sonia and Naomi are planning to go out asking tramps their NHS questions. Martin doesn't think it's a good idea [no kidding!]. Jules turns up to see Gus, and is without a van. Gus is annoyed, and Jules waffles a bit, but says he has done well for himself now. Meanwhile, Garry and Minty decide to offer Ian's new 4x4 for the booze cruise, as they have it in for a check and Ian's away.

Dennis walks back into the Vic, and tells Sharon he just heard and is she OK, he's sorry. She says he's a bit late - she needed someone at the graveside.

Upstairs, Jake tells Chrissie he has been watching her all day, and he asks her if there is any truth in Peggy's remarks - he noted that she never even looked at the coffin once. He says he saw her expression when she was there... did she do it?

Peggy comes into Vic, and Dot rushes upstairs to tell Chrissie not to come down. Peggy tells Sharon that Sam was framed, and by someone who won't even face her, upon which Chrissie arrives and says she is here, and she is happy to get this all sorted out now. Dennis stands by Sharon and tries to stop Peggy going on to her.

Chrissie appears and tells Peggy she can have her say. Peggy says Chrissie killed her husband, and Chrissie says she understands Peggy is trying to protect her daughter, and she is hurting, so she is lashing out. However, she is not going to take Sam's place because she did not kill Den. Peggy asks her to swear on that, now, in front of her, and Sharon, Den's daughter, and his son. Chrissie states clearly to everyone, and then to Sharon, "I did not kill Den. I did not kill your father." Jake watches carefully and frowns. Peggy shouts that she is lying and twisting things. She says come on Billy, and scurries out.

Dennis and Sharon go upstairs, and Dennis is very quiet and tense. Sharon says she thought he'd show up, hasn't he got anything to say? He looks awkward and says everyone deals with things in their own way - has she? She says yes, at his grave she let go of all those years of loving him and hating him, all the time she was wishing ... Dennis interjects defensively, "What? That I felt the same? I don't have the same history, the same memories." She says but he was your dad, and he says people keep saying that, but not in the same way he was for you. She says perceptively that Dennis wanted him to be, and Dennis looks upset and replies that he gave up on that a long time ago, and when she looks questioningly at him he protests, unconvincingly, that he did, it's true, a long long time ago. Sharon calls his bluff, saying so if that is all true, what would it have cost for him to be there for her today, he knew she needed him there. Dennis points out her inconsistency, slightly irritably [but somewhat more patiently than I would have!], that she told him to stay away, but now she says she wanted him there, does that make a lot of sense to her? Sharon says, even more annoyingly, that she wanted the man who cares for her there, the one who understands what she is going through, but he just wants to hate the dead, not look after the living - what sort of man does that make Dennis? Dennis reacts, as she knew he would, he goes to comfort her and says it's over with now, can't they put it behind them, and she goads him further, (being rather cruelly manipulative of Dennis's feelings, I think) and says the kind of man it makes him is ... Dad. Dennis is hurt and turns away from her. She carries on nagging him, this makes him the kind of man who runs away when something happens, grabs any excuse to get out. Dad ran away for 20 years, how long will he keep running? Dennis can't deal with this, and walks away, upset, and as she keeps nagging him, he says he is NOT running away, he is dealing with it in his own way, just differently from her. She looks at his emotional and confused expression, and explains further that you also grieve for what never was, could have been, what you never had. This really upsets Dennis, who is close to tears and Sharon pushes him again to say what he feels, to tell her what is inside his head, and she asks is he afraid of his feelings? He says with tears in his eyes that he's dealing with it in his own way and having now achieved her aim, she gives him a quick kiss and says that's all she is asking for, and goes downstairs. Dennis takes a deep breath and composes himself.

At Billy's, Peggy gloats over what she did to Chrissie, saying she'll be dreaming about that tonight, smell the earth and will relive the nightmare over and over again.

Dennis walks through the bar and leaves through the main pub doors, turning to look at Sharon, who smiles reassuringly, and Dennis half smiles back. He visits Den's grave and stands there for a bit and a worker asks him if he's OK, because the gate is locked in 10 minutes. He asks if Dennis is a friend, relative? As the bloke walks away, Dennis says quietly he hardly knew him, and his tense facade crumbles into a small sob.

Mon 26 Sep 2005

The band of gormless morons (Mickey, Gus, Jules, Garry, Minty) goes to France in Ian's shiny new 4x4. It's Gus's birthday but no-on cares or remembers, even his brother. Gus whines and the others dub him "Pauline Fowler" for being the most boring person in the world [can't argue with that].

They go to a cafe and Garry orders food of some sort, at random since he knows no French. The others tell him it's horsemeat, and he feels sick. After some more stupid adventures, they arrive at Dawn's house, and she is very displeased to see all these people, although she did want to see Mickey. She is quite attractive, thus obviously looks nothing like Mickey, so must takes after a different parent.

Dawn apologises for her surprise and says the boys can stay, but she needs to talk to Mickey alone for a while first, so they make themselves scarce.

Garry goes on and on tediously about finding some "birds", while Minty says he likes France for its food. Slimy creep Jules apologises insincerely to Gus for forgetting his birthday. They find what looks like a pub/restaurant which is empty, but with a lot of food laid out for a party, and they make the idiotic assumption that it must be a French tradition or some sort of carnival and that it will be fine if they help themselves to the food. When they have eaten, a funeral party arrives back for a wake, and they're all horrified.

Mickey asks her what it's all about and she is rather evasive. Dawm has some sensible views about that lazy waste of space her mother has shacked up with but Mickey says he is like a father to him, and says that her mother would like her to come home. Dawn says she won't because of Keith and she has moved on. Dawn introduces him to the man with whom she lives, (the actor is another ex-copper from The Bill, who always looks shifty) who suddenly turns up at home with some customers for his house selling business. He is much older than her, but Mickey assumes he is her boyfriend/husband. Dawn is a bit annoyed that the man (Mike) isn't alone, but she has to go along with the sales spiel he is doing, but when they get a moment, she says she has to talk to him urgently. He asks her if it's about the "good looking" bloke [Mike is old, and must be desperately short-sighted] who is watching her, and she says mumbles a bit, and Mickey takes the inopportune opportunity to come over to talk to them.

Dawn awkwardly introduces them, and Mickey adds helpfully that he is her brother, presumably just in case the bloke he thinks is her boyfriend thinks he is competition. Strangely, the man is horrified at this, and angrily walks off, and Dawn tells Mickey that he is not her boyfriend, he is their father (obviously Mickey takes after their mother in looks as well as brains!). Dawn goes to try to placate her father.

Tue 27 Sep 2005

The gormless morons run away from the funeral party without bothering to explain, but Minty leaves the car keys behind in his haste, so they decide to walk home [to Dawn's, not Albert Square, although how do they think they will get the keys back if they refuse to go back into the bar?]

Gus is still upset with Jules for forgetting his birthday and they repeat their conversation of yesterday (and every day), bitching about each other's lifestyles: Gus is sensible and boring, Jules is a petty criminal, blah blah [yawn]. Gus realises that he's 23 and has nothing to show for it. Juley urges him to be positive. He's sure that the right opportunity will arise. Gus recalls how his dad always made an impression. He longs to be like him and Juley.

Garry and Minty get lost wandering around the French countryside, then get paranoid when they hear a shotgun [the morons have obviously never been around English countryside either]. They panic and run away, and Garry twists his ankle. Garry tries to invent a language that the French people might mistake for French, and in this language to ask the hunters not to shoot him [and people wonder why the French hate the English?].

Mike and Mickey talk about stupid drudge Rosie for a bit, and Mickey huffily packs his stuff up, and Dawn tries to persuade him to stay a bit longer and defends Mike, while Mickey says he left their mother when they were children. Dawn tracked down Mike, and he was thrilled to see her, saying it was the best day of his life. Mickey's not impressed and reminds Mike that he forgot their birthdays, which ruined their childhood. [Right, birthday cards are far more important than being poor and hungry and their slutty mother shacking up with a lazy, dirty, criminal, dole-scrounger, then.] Mike blames Rosie for enjoying playing the martyr [so true, he was obviously not callous enough so she had to find someone even lazier and more obnoxious]. Mickey rather pathetically and ineffectually punches him, and Dawn goes all girly and whines about the men fighting. Mike moans that he always gets punched (his whole life is a catalogue of being punched - that must explain his nose), and says he deserved it. He gets some brandy out, and gets Mickey drunk, and they chat a bit more. Mike says he tried to visit again after he'd left, but they moved house. Mickey asks, rather pointlessly, whether Mike used to love Rosie. [Does that really matter now, and who asks their parents this!?] They laugh about it, as they are now both a bit drunk. Dawn comes in and berates them for being drunk.

The gormless morons have wandered around in a circle in their escape from the hunters, and are back at the car. Gus breaks the window of Ian's car and the alarm goes off. (Although all they need to do is go inside and retrieve the keys, which they will have to do eventually anyhow! Just how stupid is he?)  They start to run away but the French police arrive in seconds (literally). [And everyone who has ever heard a car alarm knows that really happens, right?]

Thu 29 Sep 2005

Gus and Jules phone Mickey and tell them they're in police custody.

Gus and Jules are finally let out of their French police cell when Mike turns up and explains in French that the car is their friend's. Jules shouts at the police that he wants to make a complaint but Mike shuts him up with a nasty look and tells him to put it down to experience, with the look heavily hinting that they will all be in a lot more trouble if they make a fuss. Jules recognises the criminal attitude and suspects that Mike is dodgy (it takes one to know one, and all that). Gus isn't convinced and says people can change, Jules has. Jules looks guilty, and clearly hasn't, but Gus is too dim to notice.

Meanwhile, elsewhere, Minty helps some French guys who have broken down, and then realises they were at the funeral they gatecrashed. However, his apology and mechanical assistance is enough for them to forgive him and they are all very friendly and invite him for a drink. Garry interrupts, thinking Minty is in trouble, but is ignored, and Minty leaves him behind as they all go off for that drink. Minty gets on really well and wishes he could live there, although he invents a family and some children so as his life won't sound so lonely and miserable!

Mike and Mickey go for a drive and chat a bit about their incredibly boring lives. Mike's sale doesn't go as planned, and the excuse is ironically that seeing Mickey reminded the British couple that they would be away from their own kids here in France. Mike is furious and clearly his clandestine plans have been thwarted.

Back home, Jules decides to prove that Mike is dodgy by going into a room he was told is out of bounds. He finds some ordinary family belongings, clearly not Mike's, as they are for a woman and children. He also finds false passports, and various other criminal items.

Mike gets home and Jules has told Dawn, and they both confront Mike, who makes up a story about looking after them for one of his customers/friends. In private, Mike talks to Jules, saying that he knows Jules is lying about his success as well, and that he had better keep quiet about Mike if he wants the same in return.

Minty arrives home after his pleasant day and decides to become one of Mike's customers. Mike is hesitant, but Minty slaps a wad of cash in his hand for a barn, and Mike takes it.

Fri 30 Sep 2005

Mike drives off early that morning.

Jules warns Minty to change his mind about the deal with Mike. Gus asks him more about the comments about knowing Mike's a crook, and Jules says he knows because he is also lying about his job - he isn't really doing whatever music job he claimed, he is fly posting for music gigs.

A man arrives at the house, and is shocked to find people there. It's his house, and Mike was just supposed to be looking after it while he was away. So it was all just Mike's quick con, involving selling the land to the various customers. Mickey persuades Dawn to come home with him now that she is homeless. She isn't keen, but has little choice.

Minty says he wants to stay regardless, although Garry tries to persuade him to come back with them. He goes back to the village and chats some more, and then changes his mind again, realising it is all very foreign to him, and a stupid mistake. He hitches back to the port.

Mike is driving off and looks at Minty's cash, then turns around and goes back to see Dawn and Mickey at the ferry. They have a boring farewell where he says he's a wandering con-man and Dawn shouldn't come with him, he wouldn't want that life for his beautiful, precious, daughter. He returns Minty's money. Dawn agrees to come with them. Shortly, Minty appears too [and they all live happily ever after, yawn, back to the real story next week].

Mon 3 Oct 2005

Mickey arrives home with his surprise for his mother, who is stunned, and not particularly delighted, to see Dawn. Dawn starts to prepare for the party and Rosie asks her if she is staying. She says she hasn't decided, but she will be looking for some fit blokes. Keith is asked to blow up balloons, and he complains about it, and tries to wriggle out of the job. Rosie finds a letter to Dawn from hospital, and Dawn walks in to find her nosily reading it. Dawn says it's none of her business, she isn't a kid any more, and Rosie is still sticking her nose in her business. She does say that she is a few hundred quid short of the money she needs so will have to cancel it - she can't get it on the NHS as she is not priority (so obviously a boob job then).

Chrissie is up early to supervise the cellar re-concreting operation. Jake asks why she is up so early and she says now is a good time, because Dennis and Sharon are away (on honeymoon, presumably). She asks Jake to move in, and he is moody and she asks what is the matter. He asks her again if she did it. He says she has never looked him in the eye and told him she's innocent. She gets annoyed and says everything in this place is Den's, and she starts crying and says if he doesn't believe her, he should leave, she can take it from everyone but him. He says he loves her and gives her a hug.

Later, he gives her a gift to say sorry - he checked out her wardrobe and found a box from this shop, so went there. She looks a bit shocked and says Den bought her a dress from that shop, and it was the last thing he bought her. She quickly says it is OK, she has to stop thinking like this. She wears the dress, which is very attractive.

Minty is horrified to find Ian back a day early, as his car isn't fixed yet. Garry phones a mate and gets a window - but it's the wrong side! He has to pay for an emergency window repair call out so it is ready for Ian this afternoon.

Billy and Peggy discuss how to proceed with Chrissie. Peggy wants to harass Stacey about the alibi. She goes to the Slaters and walks straight in to interrogate Stacey. Peggy tells Stacey that Chrissie is to blame, and she is partying with her fancyman. Stacey says it won't work on her. She confronts Kat, who explains that Zoe hit Den, and Chrissie hit him again, so if they go to the police, Chrissie will drag Zoe down with her.

Everyone goes to the Millers' 40th party for Rosie, and in the Vic, Pauline, Sonia and Naomi meet Joe the man from salsa, and Sonia invites him to come along with them (since Pauline will need a partner for salsa). Ian comments on Pauline's date, and she denies it is one, and Joe jokes he is just a chaperone to keep her out of trouble.

Ian says he will pay for Minty and Garry's drinks, and they make the most of it, but towards the end of the night, Mickey asks for payment, and Ian says these two are paying, in lieu of car hire costs - he found a receipt for petrol from France, signed by Garry, in the glove compartment.

Rosie tells them they will charge for drinks, and help Dawn pay for her operation. Peggy hears and gives her a lot of money to buy some popularity. Stacey finds Chrissie outside and has a real bitch at her about killing Den, saying she'd love to build a bonfire and see Chrissie burn on top of it. Jake watches Chrissie, who is very shocked by Stacey's torrent of hate.

Rosie gives Dawn the wad of cash they have collected, and Dawn is touched but refuses saying she can't take the money (definitely for a boob job). However, Rosie insists.

Peggy goes to the Vic and lets herself in with some keys she has. She tells Chrissie she should have had the locks changed. Peggy confronts Chrissie, and Jake overhears the whole story. Peggy says Stacey hates her - she knows that she doesn't want to lie for her, and it won't take much, and Stacey will snap, just like that. Jake stops her and takes the keys. Chrissie says thanks, and Jake says he's had enough, first Stacey and now Peggy - what is Stacey worried about? What did happen - either you trust me or you don't. Chrissie tells him the story, looking evasive, and Jake says it doesn't make sense. Why would you choose to have a sleepover with a 16-year old kid and your husband's ex-mistress? He says, angrily grabbing her, "I loved you and you lied to me - you killed him didn't you?"

Tue 4 Oct 2005

Jake wakes up on the sofa still dressed, with 9 missed calls on his phone. Chrissie is desperately calling him. Nana says he looks peaky and Alfie says why didn't he stay at Chrissie's - but then if Peggy is right you are probably lucky, "ching ching" (Norman Bates impression), you could have been her next victim. Jake isn't amused.

The Millers house is a tip and Keith takes the twins to school. The entire square is talking about whether Joe stayed at Pauline's over night. Keith rambles on about how even pigeons mate for life and everyone gets on better when they have a soul mate - when Pauline's husband died she probably thought her life was over and she'd be lonely for the rest of her days. Demi runs off looking upset and hides at the allotments. Keith finds her and says sorry. She says Leo was her soulmate. Keith looks at the pigeons and says people think they are filthy vermin, but they are a lot like us. [Yes, that is exactly like you, Keith]. Demi says she hopes he is not comparing her to a flying rat.

Dawn tells Rose she can't accept the money for her op - it was her decision to go private. Rosie insists.

Naomi and Sonia are continuing their project questioning homeless people about their views on the NHS. Naomi is proud of her stunning plan, which worked wonders: to give them a can of lager for filling it in. Martin is not impressed and tells them to be careful.

Stacey is moping and Kat tells her to go shopping, but she says she's broke. Kat tells her to "use her imagination" so Stacey goes to the Vic and asks Chrissie for money. Chrissie gives in immediately to the blackmail, and hands over a wad of cash. Later, Stacey hands it back, inexplicably.

Chrissie goes round desperately looking for Jake, and Alfie and Nana are in the cab to the hospital, and Alfie says he went out early. Chrissie bangs on the door to Alfie's flat, and Jake eventually lets her in. He is upset and says she never trusted him, all the times he asked her and opportunities he gave her to tell him, why didn't she? She whines she is sorry, and asks him not to go to the police. He says how could she involve Stacey in something like this? And Sam - who is facing life in prison because of her. Chrissie says no, she isn't a cold-blooded murderer, all hell had broken loose, she was defending herself. She whines on about what happened and Jake listens. She says they were all in on it but she was the one who actually killed him. She cries and asks if Jake can forgive her for keeping it from him? He says he will have to think about that one, and shows her out. She tells him she loves him and asks if she will ever see him again. He doesn't answer and she leaves.

Dot sees Jake in the square and chats to him, uninvited. She says he looks like she feels - due to the terrible noise of the party last night, however, she doesn't bear grudges. She makes a biblical reference about forgiving people their trespasses, you will be forgiven.

The doctor explains to Alfie that Nana has an inoperable (at her age) heart problem.

Sonia was slightly attacked by some alcoholic tramp while doing her stupid questionnaire and handing out cans of lager, and she admits this to Martin who very reasonably says "I told you so".

Jake goes to Chrissie and says he loves her and he wants to go away with her - who am I to judge. He wants to disappear and make a fresh start. She wants to confess to Sharon.

Thu 6 Oct 2005

Alfie talks to Nana about what the doctor told him, and she says she knows she isn't getting any younger.

Sharon and Dennis are in a taxi, coming back, looking happy.

Chrissie tells Jake she has to own up, and runs off. He just about catches her at the police station. She says she has nightmares and can't cope with it. Jake says it will go away, she has to get through it. Chrissie says he can't possibly know, and he says he does, and explains about Andy Hunter, which is a really stupid conversation to have at the door of the police station. They go to the Vic and have a long detailed discussion about it, and he says Johnny actually did it, but he didn't even give it a second thought. He suggests that she offers the Vic to Sharon. He says they have been through the same things, on the same night, this is a second chance.

Sharon sees Peggy, who says that her daughter is innocent, she will see. Sharon and Dennis are slightly irritated. Jake offers to take their bags as they walk in. Jake and Chrissie go upstairs and Jake tells Chrissie again that he loves her and wants to have a family with her. He begs her not to throw her life away. She is still keen on telling Sharon that she did it, and she cries and then Sharon interrupts. Jake leaves, upset.

Billy talks to Dennis, saying "they haven't always seen eye-to-eye..." Dennis replies, no, they have NEVER seen eye-to-eye - just leave it. Jake comes down and Billy makes a comment which upsets Jake in his current rather highly-charged state. Dennis quickly stops them.

Upstairs, Chrissie tells Sharon she has something to tell her, and she stands at the window, and sees Jake outside looking distraught. She says she wants to leave, sell the Vic, and Sharon can name her price. Sharon is tempted, and talks to Dennis, who is disinterested, and says if she is happy with the ghosts, OK, but it's not his ideal. Chrissie phones Jake and says she didn't tell Sharon, because she loves him so much, and she has asked her to buy the Vic instead. However, when they go to talk about it, Sharon says they have decided against buying it.

Pauline gets some joking teasing about Joe, and she decides not to call the phone number he left her. However, Dot retrieves it from the rubbish bin, and they all persuade her to try it anyway, so she does.

The scum family go to see Dawn and ask her what the op was. She says she didn't want to make a fuss, thanks. She sits up straight and says should I have gone a size bigger? Dopey Mickey doesn't understand, and she says does she have to spell it out? She had a boob job. Rosie looks embarrassed, obviously thinking of all the things she told everyone in the square and everyone saying how brave Dawn was having an operation.

Chrissie suggests to Jake that they could sell the Vic to Johnny, since he wouldn't mind the dead body, and Jake has something on him, so he has leverage.

Fri 7 Oct 2005

Chrissie tries to persuade Jake to ask (or blackmail) Johnny to buy the Vic. Jake refuses, saying that you really don't want to back Johnny into a corner, or you'll find out what he's really like.

Alfie wants to contact Spencer to tell him about Nana. Nana says she doesn't want to go into hospital for an operation, she doesn't want to die under the knife, she wants to make the most of the time she's got left. He says he will makes a list of all the things Nana ever waned to do so he can tick them off. She turns it round on him, asking if he has anything he ever wishes he had done. Alfie says nothing that he can tell his Nan. She says he means sex, and says her husband was the only one she ever went with, and she hasn't done it for 60 years now, but adds hastily, that's not on her list. Nana considers taking up smoking. Alfie says it's disgusting and horrible. Then says she'd love to go to a Cliff Richard concert. Alfie says I'm off to get the fags,... just joking. Nana also says she might visit her husband's grave (presumably in France/Belgium/Holland, since he was killed in the war).

Pauline gets smartened up for her date. Sonia compliments her profusely. Joe arrives with a bunch of strange blue flowers that is almost larger than he is. He takes her to an expensive restaurant where they clearly know him very well, and offer him his "usual table."

Pauline looks cross. She drops into the conversation that he comes here a lot, and it's very expensive, and he says he only came here once a week, for a glass of wine after the salsa, until he discovered her friends went to the pub. She is surprised, especially when he says that he didn't have a meal, just some tapas with the wine occasionally, and he says they were probably only so friendly because they felt sorry for him by himself.

Billy tells Peggy that Chrissie is selling the Vic, and she rushes off to accost Chrissie. Peggy rushes in and shouts at Sharon, asking whether she knows about Chrissie selling the Vic. Sharon says calmly yes, and she gave her first refusal. Peggy shrieks that no-one will buy a pub where the last landlady topped her husband. Chrissie goes for her, screeching that she is banned, and Jake tells Billy to take Peggy away.

Billy is with Peggy, and Johnny says he should be at work by now, but Billy says he has something important to do. Johnny looks displeased. Peggy goes to the police station and screeches at the detective about Chrissie selling the Vic. The DI says this is close to harassment, and the pub is no longer a crime scene, Chrissie is free to do whatever she wants to. Also, if Peggy doesn't stop bothering her, her daughter won't be the only one in trouble with the police.

Jake decides to go and see Johnny as Chrissie suggested, as she is becoming unstable. He tries to sell it to Johnny, saying that Chrissie will give him a good price. Johnny acts very unkeen and says it would have to be a great price. Jake takes Chrissie's line and says he owes him, and Johnny laughs, Danny tried to burn down his house, and he let Jake come back, and he thinks o he owes him?! Jake says for Andy Hunter. He says Andy was suicide, the police have closed the case, and Tina happens to walk into the office, and Jake looks at her as the conversation is silent. She leaves quickly, realising she has interrupted, and Johnny says I hope you're not thinking that [telling Tina]. He muses that Jake won't tell Tina, but maybe Chrissie would - is that it - have you told her about it? Jake denies it, but Johnny knows and starts digging, saying that if he has, then why would Chrissie stay with him, unless she told him a secret of her own? Jake panics and says no, unconvincingly. Johnny smirks and says Chrissie really is very cool, she murders her husband and manages to stick it out. He looks threatening and Jake asks what he'll do. Johnny enjoys the superiority and asks Jake jokingly what's the matter with him, first Danny, now Chrissie, couldn't he have just been a psychiatric nurse [as he likes helping nutters].

Tina goes into the office and says Jake was white as a sheet when he left the club, so she didn't want to disturb him before: she has already arranged cover for Billy, who has failed to turn up. She says it's working well, her working with him. Johnny says quietly yes, and he won't let anything get in the way of their happy life here [which sounds a bit ominous for Jake].

Peggy arrives and says she's back to buy the pub. Chrissie isn't happy and Peggy says she is giving Chrissie until closing time - that is how long the offer lasts. Dennis and Sharon chat, and he is surprised that she doesn't mind. Sharon goes to tell Chrissie that if she is worried about what Sharon thinks, don't, feel free to sell the pub to who she wants to. Chrissie is annoyed and Jake urges her to sell to Peggy if she can, at least they can get away then.

Jake gets back and Chrissie argues with him and is generally very annoyed that he failed to get Johnny to agree to buy the Vic.

Martin has a romantic night in with Sonia arranged and Naomi mentions to him that flowers are a good idea, and to give Sonia a message, that their meeting with the tutor is tomorrow. Martin cooks a lasagne, which Sonia says is delicious, but then he mentions the tutor meeting and Sonia stops eating and says she has to go and do her project, and she bails out of the evening. Martin looks pissed off that Naomi has managed to ruin his time with Sonia yet again, and this time she's not even there!

Pauline gets back and has a drink with Joe at home, and looks at the mess in the kitchen and says obviously Martin cooked - men and kitchens! A bit later, Martin comes down and admits he broke her water jug while making dinner. Pauline has had such a good evening she says never mind, and Martin is amazed.

In the Vic, it's closing time, and Peggy is back. Jake reminds Chrissie to swallow her pride. Peggy asks if she has decided. Johnny walks in and asks if he's too late for a drink, after what he has to say everyone will need one. Jake looks exceptionally worried. Johnny enjoys the consternation and then says he has heard the pub is up for sale. Chrissie is thrilled, and Peggy is horrified. He says he'd like to make an offer, if that's OK, and Chrissie says yes, delightedly! He hands money to Jake and says quietly that Jake owes him one now, and asks if anyone wants a drink - saying jovially to Billy that he will pretend he didn't see him there (as he was supposed to be at work all evening). Peggy? Peggy says she'd rather burn in hell than take a drink from him. Johnny says why wait until then?

Mon 10 Oct 2005

Dawn tells Ian that Darren is looking forward to his job. Ian says he wasn't serious about the job, she just pushed Darren into asking him for it. He says that employing someone that young is to much trouble.

Dawn also shows her new assets to the people in the cafe. Mickey is annoyed, and says people gave money thinking she was ill. She says she didn't ask them to.

Peggy goes to see Chrissie and asks to put everything aside, and she tells her she will pay more than Johnny. Peggy starts screeching about Sam. Chrissie says she only managed to last 10 seconds putting things aside. She goes to Johnny's and is rude and patronising to Tina, saying Johnny always liked blondes. Johnny says no when she offers him 20% on top of whatever he is offering for the Vic, for himself, no need to give it to Chrissie. Tina is pleased to see the back of her.

Peggy goes to the bank to ask for a loan but they refuse to see her. She goes to Ian and asks him for a loan, and he laughs at her. She says it's only until Grant arrives with the money. Ian says if he was going to invest that kind of money, he'd want a better bet than the Mitchells. Peggy goes back to Pat and has a silly little hissy fit. She asks Pat to give her collateral for a loan and Pat says no. Peggy says this is her house, and annoys Pat more, but Pat says she has no chance, Johnny already has it, and there is no point going up against him, she should know that from the past.

Darren starts working for Ian and tries a few scams, but then is caught by a teacher who complains to Ian about employing school children as slave labour and Ian sacks him.

Peggy storms into the club to see Johnny, who says he is not the type of man to back down for a few more grand. He says it's not him buying the Vic, and he refuses to divulge the name of the person on whose behalf he is acting in the purchase of the Vic. Peggy starts going on about Johnny's past - which was that Johnny was a boxer and he ruined his career by taking a dive in a fight (presumably for a lot of money) and that was the fight that made Eric Mitchell's career. Next, Peggy tries emotional blackmail on Johnny [demonstrating where Sam gets her brains and Phil gets his charm]. Apparently, later when Eric was destitute, Johnny gave him a job, so therefore she concludes that he is responsible for her husband being a bullying loser who beat her kids up, so he should make it up to her by helping her get the Vic.

Johnny goes to warn Chrissie, in case Peggy does, that he is not buying it for himself, but someone else, but they can put the sale through quickly, which will annoy Peggy, but she won't be able to do a thing about it.

Dawn goes round the square doing damage limitation on the people sniping at her for getting a boob job, especially those that Rosie forced to donate cash to help pay for it. She tells Pauline and Dot that they don't understand what it is like to have such low self-esteem and hate your own body because they are lucky enough to have wonderful figures, and she tells them Pauline has a beautiful big bust and trim everywhere else, while Dot is elegant like Audrey Hepburn. [She has obviously learnt a lot from her conman sales cheat father.] Dot and Pauline are happy and chat about how lovely they were when they were young. Dot asks what she wore with Joe, and Pauline says it wasn't like that, they had a nice time, like old friends. She is really happy to have such an enjoyable evening, and says Martin came in and Joe left. Dot is horrified that the evening was ruined by Martin, and later has a word with Sonia about keeping him out of the way.

Peggy starts with her tirade before Dawn can get a word in, though, whining about her daughter being in prison while some people are having plastic surgery and it makes her blood boil.

Tue 11 Oct 2005

Jake is in the bar and signs for a delivery but is slightly put out when the delivery man calls him Mr Watts. Dennis goes out for his run, and see Jake and jokes that if she's got him doing that already he will soon be doing housework. Jake snaps back and Dennis says it was just a joke.

Peggy hassles Billy to try to find out on whose behalf Johnny is acting, and Billy says he's lucky to still have a job, so no. However, when he apologises to Johnny for his recent poor work, Johnny says he will give Billy another chance, because he's busy for the next few weeks, so he needs a bar manager. Billy is thrilled, and says he could concentrate better if he didn't have Peggy hassling him, and if she knew who was buying the Vic she would get off his case. Johnny says no, and to quit while he's ahead.

Dawn competes with Juley for the second job on Mickey's stall, and he suggests they both come up with marketing ideas and whoever has the best one wins. Dawn produces a flyer, and Mickey says she will have to redo it, since the flyer has a spelling mistake, and she says Keith didn't notice it either. Mickey and Keith start talking guiltily with conflicting excuses and Dawn says sarcastically get the story straight, can't he read or something? Keith says defensively that he never learnt. Dawn is very scathing and nasty to him from then on. Keith says Mickey doesn't like what she is doing, and she says she's his sister, Keith isn't even related. Later, Ian has to have a meeting with the teacher and Darren, and Dawn invites him in when he arrives, and says she is acting on behalf of Darren, and he could sue for thousands for Ian's disregard for Health and Safety. Ian laughs at her and says he has a very good lawyer, and the law is on the side of the person with most money. He says he has a deal for Darren, his job back, keep the tips and Darren just has to say that Ian had nothing to do with him being allowed behind the counter. Dawn asks for a weeks wages as well. Ian agrees.

At the meeting with the teacher, Ian and Darren's story works smoothly and Darren admits lying before when he blamed Ian. It's all explained very convincingly and the teacher leaves. Ian leaves, and Dawn tries to stop him asking for the money they agreed on, and Ian laughs and says no chance. Darren says he will go and tell him the first story, and Ian says he won't believe him now he has admitted he lied once. Dawn arranges a boycott of Ian's businesses, which works well enough.

Jake and Billy have another altercation in the Vic, and Billy is very irritating and needles Jake continually until Jake hits him. Dennis immediately grabs Billy and tells him they are going to the cafe - now. He talks to Billy in the cafe, and when Billy says Jake knows Chrissie killed Den and Dennis does too, Dennis says this isn't the way to get results, he needs proof. Billy says ok, so what do we do? Dennis says Billy doesn't do anything, you've got to be smarter than that. Billy replies flippantly "what like you, you mean - sitting around looking moody all day, doing nothing?" Dennis is actually caught out by this comment and doesn't have an answer! He says, with a slight shake of his head, "just ... just leave it to me, right."

Chrissie apologises to Jake about her moods, but says he has to stay calm and not rise to Billy's taunts.

Joe sees Pauline, who is embarrassed when Ian walks in while they are chatting and end up kissing (!), and she quickly tells Joe they are NOT boyfriend and girlfriend. Jayne asks Ian what is going on when Pauline walks in later and Ian is embarrassed. They explain and Jayne suggests Pauline and Joe come to dinner.

Peggy goes to see Billy in the club, while he is playing manager, in Johnny's office. Johnny arrives, and Billy quickly rushes out of the office, and keeps Johnny talking away from the office, and then he suggests a quick trip to a rival club to check something out. Billy goes back to get his jacket and tells Peggy to get out of the office in two minutes. When he goes home, he finds she has stolen all the papers from Johnny's desk and is horrified.

Dennis gets Jake on his own and gives him a drink and Jake casually thanks Dennis for getting rid of Billy earlier. Dennis says he's just upset because his cousin is in the nick for something Chrissie did. Jake is horrified, and Dennis smiles and asks him how long he has known. Jake tries to protest Chrissie's innocence, saying she is devastated. Dennis replies that guilt can do that - trust him, he knows. Dennis says Jake isn't totally stupid - he is no Einstein, but he might not be stupid enough to risk his neck for a roll in the sack. Dennis says look at what has happened to the other people involved in the secret - Zoe, Sam. Dennis continues: does Jake really think he will be part of Chrissie's escape route, because when this blows up in her face, it'll get very ugly, very quickly and she will cover herself any way she can. Jake looks worried and Dennis looks smug.

When Billy goes to work Johnny is looking at the security camera tape, and sees Peggy rifling through his desk. He calmly tells Billy this time it's not negotiable - he is fired.

Thu 13 Oct 2005

Johnny taunts Peggy that he is popular around here, and her poisonous bitching isn't working. He gives her Billy's last pay packet.

Nana has thought of another thing she'd like to do, so Alfie's next task is to find an old war-time rationing film she appeared in! He asks Billy, who gives him the name of an old video shop customer, who has the film, and he arranges to show it at the community centre, unfortunately at the same time as the salsa is supposed to be on, so he has to persuade the old folks to watch the film instead, which goes fairly well until Nana can't recognise herself. Alfie points out one of the pretty women and says that is her and she is happy.

Sharon is looking after Chrissie, who is upset after Peggy's shouting. Dennis looks furious (because he has already told Sharon that Chrissie is fooling her) and leaves the room quickly. Jake discovers that Billy was stealing files from Johnny and worries that Johnny will pull out of the sale. Chrissie goes round to see Johnny, and Dennis happens to be in the club, sitting in the corner, morosely thinking about how Chrissie is tricking Sharon.

Dennis follows as Chrissie goes to the office with Johnny, and eavesdrops outside, as Chrissie whines hysterically about Peggy harassing her, and says Johnny has to put a stop to it. Then Sharon calls Dennis and the phone rings loudly, so he quickly returns to his seat, while Johnny rushes out to find out who was listening. He walks over to Dennis in the corner and says he is surprised to find him still there.

Johnny and Chrissie continue their conversation, and Chrissie says she knows about Andy. Johnny says it is stupid of her to try blackmail, and he is pulling out of the sale entirely. Chrissie apologises and wails a bit, and Johnny is cools and tells her she blew it. She goes back to Jake and moans a bit. He is annoyed with her and says it was a really dangerous thing to do. He says she will have to sell to Peggy now. Johnny arrives in the Vic and makes a private comment to Dennis about eavesdropping. Dennis acts mysterious and implies he heard everything, but Johnny is cool.

Dennis talks to Sharon, and says he doesn't want to say any more about Chrissie, but he hates to see Sharon being tricked. He apologises and kisses her, and they make up.

In the Vic, after the community centre film, Johnny offers to buy everyone a drink, and Peggy stands up and introduces an ugly old bloke who claims Johnny beat him up for making a mistake on a birthday cake inscription. Johnny says there was a lot more to it than that, but as the bloke rants on about how evil Johnny is, Ruby comes in and overhears some of the insults. She runs out upset, and Johnny is very annoyed.

Fri 14 Oct 2005

Ruby stays at Stacey's sulking over the comments about her father. Johnny comes to get her, but she won't go and Charlie covers while she hides. Stacey tries to persuade Ruby to talk to her father. Ruby worries that Johnny is a gangster, but she agrees to talk to Tina, who makes a plausible story about Johnny being too embarrassed to have a big argument in the pub in front of her, so asks her to talk to him.

Peggy is a little guilty that Ruby overheard, but generally still being a bitch.

Dawn helps Mickey on his stall, still trying to outdo Jules, and succeeding.

Johnny talks to Ruby in the square, and makes up his excuse - that he had an argument with a bloke in a club, and it got physical, and later he discovered that the bloke was a well-known thug, so he got a reputation for being tough, entirely accidentally. However, Ruby isn't that stupid and asks about the old bloke in the pub. Johnny is evasive and slippery, and Ruby realises he is lying to her.

Ian and Jayne have invited Joe and Pauline to lunch, and Ian asks some rather personal questions. However, Joe is quite open and has some strong views on children's education and gives some good advice about encouraging Lucy to be scientific and not to let her become afraid of being called a nerd, etc, as girls often give it up at school because of teasing.

Afterwards, Joe mentions to Pauline that he was disappointed that she flatly denied being his "girlfriend", and she retracts a little, saying she wouldn't mind going out again as friends.

Sonia and Martin argue again when she arranges to go out clubbing with Naomi and her college friends without inviting Martin. She cancels, but is resentful about it.

Johnny sees Peggy, and threateningly tells her how she will pay for turning his only remaining family member against him. Peggy threatens him back with her own nasty family.

Mon 17 Oct 2005

Charlie finds a watch on the kitchen floor and asks Stacey how Ruby is. He gives it to Ruby, who says sulkily her dad gave it to her. Stacey chats to Ruby and asks if she could find any evidence to prove what her father has done. Alternatively, ask him directly what he has done.

Tina tries to talk to Johnny, and she berates him for running away and not talking to Ruby. She says sensibly that Ruby was bound to find out eventually and it was never going to be easy when she did. Tina suggests Ruby isn't as fragile as he might think, and maybe she can take the truth - she did. He also employs an attractive young barmaid, who looks similar to Tina, who comments to that effect when she sees the new barmaid. While Johnny gets his coat, she gives the girl a warning about remembering which side of the bar she is on.

Jim and Patrick discuss going to a �0 prize domino tournament at a country pub, and Jim plans to trick Dot into a country drive for a pub lunch, and then say it's entirely coincidental that a domino tournament is on. Patrick doesn't think that's a good idea, but he goes along with it. Jim tells Dot about a drive in the country, and Dot is quite keen. However, she soon chats to Yolande and discovers that the men have lied to both of them. They phone up and discover about the tournament and arrange to go elsewhere. Jim and Patrick are disappointed.

Johnny crosses the square and taunts Peggy about not having her family around. When she gets home, Billy says that Phil's lawyer has some good news and thinks she can find some way to improve his chances in the court case. Billy goes round asking people for support for Phil. Alfie says no, and then a bit later, Nana says her next wish is that she wants to be arrested. Alfie asks Pat why an older woman would want to be arrested. Pat suggests the thrill of the uniform.

Martin and Sonia have a cheerful kiss in the square. She asks him to lunch. She is reading 1984 and Billy passes and says it's a good book, but Martin laughs at it and says he doesn't know why anyone would waste their time reading books. Sonia looks disapproving. Later she tries to make him read the book and he says he will, but doesn't bother. She gets in a little huff when she gets home and he says he didn't get round to it, so refuses to stay and watch TV with him and goes upstairs to read another of her "boring books".

Stacey and Ruby go to Johnny's office and try to break the safe. Stacey appears to know how to open a combination safe, and asks Ruby the combination. Ruby suggests Scarlet's birthday, and it isn't, so they try Ruby's birthday, which is this week. Ruby says it won't be that, but it is, and they open the safe and find some boring papers, and also a pistol. Ruby has it in her hand when Johnny and Tina arrive back. Johnny says it's security, and it's loaded, so put it down. He says he will tell her everything if she puts it down. They sit and chat, and he says he will only answer yes or no - no details. She asks if what Peggy says was true, and he says yes, and he also admits he was a gangster and has hurt other people, and used the gun, and he also admits he has killed someone. She asks how many, and he says no details. He says now this is done they can go back to normal. She is upset and says things will never be normal. Stacey finds her sitting on the swings and Ruby says she never wants to see her father again. She goes to get her clothes, and then she gets cross and smashes up the house. Stacey says they have to make it look like a robbery and then they run out the back quickly. Johnny is furious and runs out into the street and shouts at random that when he catches whoever did it, they'll wish they were never born. Ruby looks upset. When Johnny goes back in he stops Tina from phoning the police.

Tue 18 Oct 2005

Obviously, Johnny realises that Ruby has taken her belongings and left, and he stews over what to do about it, and blames Stacey entirely for trashing the house. Ruby realises she left her watch at home, which seems totally irrelevant. Johnny tries to talk to Ruby at the Slaters' house, but Kat taunts him, refusing to let him pass and goading him to hit her, but he doesn't. As he is leaving, Stacey joins in the tirade, and shouts abuse at Johnny from the safety of the window [what lovely neighbours]. Johnny goes home and tells Tina Ruby will be home by this evening, but won't say why. Shortly afterwards, the police arrive to arrest Stacey for the damage to Johnny's. Ruby goes to tell Johnny to let her go and he says she has to come home first, then he will see what he can do.

Sonia plans to visit the Tate Gallery with her college friends (because nurses are so artistic?) and Martin asks to go too. She says it's not his style, but he says he wants to go, so she agrees. However, he meets Garry and Dennis in the Vic and they aren't impressed by art in general, with Garry just being ignorant and Dennis citing the 1999 Turner competition to support his opinion that art is rubbish, and he says she (Emin) was just a lazy cow who couldn't be bothered to make her bed. [Presumably he had nothing better to do for 3 years in prison than read about art - not that I disagree with him about that one]. Garry tells Martin he doesn't need to change his interests for Sonia, after all she married him [and of course Garry had such success with his marriage strategy, Martin is bound to listen to marriage advice from him]. Martin stays and gets drunk, and meets Sonia back at home later. She realises he stood her up and went to the pub and is perhaps annoyed or a little disappointed, although she doesn't actually act as if she cares much what he does [not sure if the actress is just wooden, or that's the point].

Alfie arranges with a stripper who has a policeman's outfit for him to pretend to arrest Nana. Despite the fact that the bloke is obviously extremely dense, Alfie gives him an incredibly vague description of Nana, as an old woman with brightly coloured clothes who will be near his stall.

Meanwhile, Nana sees the police coming for Stacey and decides to get herself arrested by assaulting the officer - she step stripper outfit and gets rather cross with the clueless imbecile.

Kat tells Alfie that Nana has been arrested, and he says it's OK. Then Pat arrives in the cafe with the stripper cop, and Alfie is astonished that Nana has actually got herself arrested for real. He goes with Kat to get both Stacey and Nana, and they have a very stupid discussion with the police who hadn't really put Nana in a cell at all, as she was very sorry. Anyway, everyone is fine and all released.

Patrick and Jim bemoan the failure of their domino plan and Patrick is currently only being allowed pocket money from Yolande, and can't afford to buy his round. Jim and Charlie suggest Patrick opens his own business, and they see the empty car lot and suggest that.

Meanwhile, Ruby tells Johnny she wants the truth, but he refuses. She goes to ask Pat, who evades the question and says he loves her and that should be enough, then Peggy, who is happy to tell her some nasty stories about Johnny's evil past. This includes him chopping off the fingers of a prostitute who crossed him in some way. She concludes that it was all Johnny's own fault that his house was burnt down and Ruby's mother and sister were killed - someone was bound to take revenge for his nasty deeds eventually. Ruby goes home and says she knows it was his fault she has no mother or sister, and she never wants to see him again.

Thu 20 October 2005

It's Ruby's birthday, but she's staying on the sofa at the Slaters' house. Johnny phones and tells her to look outside, where there's a car - a newish convertible which he opens up remotely and she finds a driving licence application and 12 driving lessons, as she is now 17. Tina doesn't approve of hum trying to buy Ruby, but Stacey tells Ruby to take it, and asks Charlie how much it's worth. He says about 10 grand. Stacey tells Ruby to take it and sell it. Johnny comes out and forces Ruby to agree to go for a drive with him - alone. But he spots Peggy and goes to talk to her.

Garry and Minty find that Ian is off into town for the day and both their services have cancelled so they have no work, and they decide to spend the day in the Vic. They try to chat up Dawn and Naomi at lunchtime, but are already so drunk they lose a darts match against the girls.

Pauline found Sonia's birthday card for Rebecca, which had fallen down the back of the sofa, and posted it. She tells Martin who says Sonia was looking for it. Later, Margaret comes round, saying that from reading it, she thinks it wasn't supposed to be sent until Rebecca was a lot older. She gives it back to Martin and invites him and Sonia to the birthday party that afternoon. Martin doesn't want to, but Pauline insists. However, when he tries to call Sonia on her mobile, there is no answer and he can't get hold of her.

Johnny is furious with Peggy for poisoning Ruby against him and reminds her that her children are equally criminal. He picks up a letter in the table from a notorious lawyer, and notes Peggy has engaged "Ritchie Scott" for Phil and Sam. Peggy tells him he has to leave, she is meeting the lawyer soon. He laughs "the most crooked criminal lawyer in London?" They have a long and acrimonious conversation, and Johnny reminds Peggy of her past too, and clearly they were a lot more involved that we hitherto realised, and reminds her that she flirted with him. Outside, Ruby is annoyed that she is being ignored and decides to drive herself, even though she has never been behind a wheel before. It's an automatic, so should be simple to drive. She puts it in drive and ploughs into the car parked in front - Ian's, and quickly tries to rectify this by reversing, and ploughs into Jim's behind. Everyone runs round to look, including the two car owners.

Fri 21 Oct 2005

Johnny drags Ruby forcefully from the damaged car, and Tina intervenes because he is being very rough. Ian and Jim watch but are both a bit too scared to go over and ask Johnny about the damage to their cars, since he is in a foul mood. Ian goes to find Minty and Garry, and is annoyed the garage is closed.

Johnny drags Ruby home and Peggy screeches at him that her sons will get him, and they will make him sorry, she isn't afraid of him. As she is doing so, a a well-dressed, tall, elegant woman arrives and watches the argument, and mutters to herself, "Johnny Allen!". She walks up to Peggy, asking if she is Peggy Mitchell, and Peggy replies aggressively "and 'oo are you?" The woman says she is Ritchie Scott. Peggy is distracted and Ritchie is clearly irritated by this, reminding Peggy that she is paying 250 pounds an hour for this advice [ie so pay attention to what is being said!]. Peggy tells her that Phil is innocent and Ritchie says dismissively that isn't really relevant, but if she insists, they might be able to use it. She says their strategy is the standard one, to discredit the prosecution witnesses. She has engaged a good barrister who is charming and ruthless. She says the jury will take one look and think Phil is guilty, because he looks like an armed robber: unfortunately it's easier to get people like Johnny off, as they can at least sound like polite gentlemen if they need to.

At Johnny's he sends Tina out and almost slaps Ruby on several occasions as he is trying to make her apologise. He is extremely threatening and treats her like rather like any other adult he is trying to intimidate. She is totally terrified, but thinks he won't actually physically harm her, so bravely stands her ground, until he grabs her by the hair and says he will break her if she keeps on defying him. She runs off and as Stacey is out, she goes to Peggy's. Tina tries to calm Johnny down but he pounces on every word and is generally irritated by her, even when she tries to talk sexily to him as she used to when he was uptight about other business in the past. He says rudely that she is too old for that, and it's like a scratched old record. She is understandably upset and he leaves in a bad mood.

When Ruby arrives at Peggy's, Ritchie says kindly (which seems totally out of character) that the last time she saw her, she was a small child, and adds so time hasn't mellowed him then? [So she clearly knows Johnny very well, but from a long time ago.]

Johnny goes to the club and flirts with the new barmaid, who is happy to oblige and offers him a massage. He takes her to the office and she hints she'd do anything, so he tells her to strip. Then he changes his mind and leaves.

Pauline and Martin go to the birthday party, and get on well. Despite all their attempts, Sonia isn't contactable, so she misses out. When they get home Martin says she will be annoyed with him, and then they find her phone on the sofa, switched off. They furtively delete all the messages from Martin and decide to keep it a secret that they even went, just to avoid annoying Sonia.

Billy goes round asking people to come to court on Monday to support Phil, and Minty is the only person who agrees (in a very drunken state). Minty and Garry then go home feeling very ill. Sharon tells Billy to say hello to Phil for her and Billy asks if she'll be there. Dennis interjects "like hell". A little later, Sharon takes Dennis a cup of tea and he is sulking, and asks if that's a bribe. Sharon doesn't know what he means, but Dennis looks edgy and is clearly feeling insecure and he asks her what if he happens to be out on Monday and she has nothing to do, and Billy offers her a lift to the court, will she go? Sharon is surprised at the question but realises Dennis obviously jealous about this, and she says of course not, she and Phil were over a long time ago. She says Phil will go down for armed robbery - it will be at least five years before they see him again. He takes a little bit of convincing, but eventually he relaxes and smiles at her and she gives him a reassuring kiss.

Johnny phones Peggy's and Pat answers. He says if Ruby isn't home by 5pm he will come to get her. Peggy is worried and calls Billy to get some help round there for 5pm. Billy can't think of anyone except Minty, which doesn't impress Peggy, but she says OK.

At Minty's, Garry is sitting feeling ill, with a bucket in his lap, obviously expecting the worst. Minty is lying passed out on the sofa. Ian bangs on the door to get them to come to work, but they don't answer. Billy goes round and quotes Peggy's name saying she wants to see them, and of course they open the door. It's Garry, who soon regrets moving and promptly vomits on the doorstep, and also on Ian's feet. Garry tells Billy that he doesn't do violence unless he is guaranteed to win, which practically never happens, and certainly not in this case. Minty is still unable to raise himself from the sofa. Billy realises that Garry and Minty will be no good, and he stays there, hiding from Peggy!

At Pat's Peggy sighs and says she will stand up to Johnny. Ruby says she didn't want to cause trouble. Pat and Peggy disagree over their plan, and get into the same old argument, Pat accuses Peggy of bearing grudges, and Peggy brings up "her" house again, and they end up trading insults as usual. Ruby whines at them to stop.

Johnny arrives, and acts all worried about Ruby, lulling Peggy into thinking he's begging to get her home. She has wisely kept the chain on the door so they only talk through a crack. Johnny then says he wants to apologise to Ruby, but if Peggy won't let him, at least give Ruby these birthday cards which arrived for her this morning. Peggy reaches to take them and Johnny quickly pulls on the door knocker and letterbox, trapping Peggy's fingers in the door. She screams and he keeps pulling the door hard, to crush her fingers (obviously shades of the horror story). He tells her viciously she'll be even more sorry if she doesn't hand over Ruby by tomorrow.

Mon 24 Oct 2005

Pat tells Peggy to sort out her feud with Johnny, and Peggy says she isn't afraid of him. Pat says she's a fool. Billy comes to collect Peggy for the court case, and Peggy says she can't go because of Ruby. Billy says he will smooth things over with Johnny and be back to get her. Johnny says if Billy mentions his daughter's name again he will carve it on his forehead, and if Peggy doesn't return Ruby today he will hold Peggy personally responsible.

Dennis and Sharon are kissing in the cafe and chatting about her birthday lunch. Sharon giggles that if he is nice to Jake and Chrissie, she will (she whispers sexily in his ear). Dennis says he will even take Chrissie some flowers. Chrissie and Jake arrange a party, and he remarks that she's trying to keep Sharon sweet.

Pauline tells Martin to make sure he tells Sonia today. Martin sighs. Later, Martin tells Sonia about Rebecca and says Margaret brought back the card, they lied to her. He adds the discussion about the birthday party. Sonia is really pissed off that he and Pauline went to the party without her and says Martin should have come to find her wherever she was.

Ian tells Minty and Garry to remember who pays their wages. He adds that he wants them to start selling add-ons with their jobs. He also wants them to negotiate discounts when they order parts. Garry objects, but Minty says that he needs some tips - could Ian show them how it is done? He phones the supplier and when he gets through he asks Garry and Minty what they need. Minty tells him "left handed spark plugs and woo-woo pins". The supplier laughs at him, and Minty and Garry have a great laugh, while Ian says indignantly to the person on the phone that they can't talk to him like that, he isn't a plonker! Ian realises, belatedly, and turns to them and says yes, very funny, now you're both sacked. Jayne tells him off for sacking both of them.

Ruby wants to go home, and Peggy gives in and even encourages her. Ruby goes home and Johnny is thrilled to see her.

Dennis and Sharon arrive upstairs in the Vic, and Chrissie produces a nice salmon lunch with wine, and the four of them have a meal and drink, and Sharon says it's lovely, Dennis hates restaurants anyway. Chrissie fawns over Sharon and says family is important, and hands over the present - saying that the minute her father died, she vowed to look after Sharon. Dennis remarks pointedly "you mean the minute you found out he died". Chrissie quickly agrees with him. Dennis excuses himself and leaves the room, as he's been looking more and more frustrated with Chrissie's falseness.

Peggy chats to Pat in the Vic, and Pat says everyone who went up against Johnny regretted it later, but Peggy is annoyed, and says she isn't ready to give up yet. She arrives at the club to check up on Ruby, and says her family have seen off bigger and better than him. Johnny says two of her children are in prison and the other has taken his one brain cell off to the other side of the world. He says so she is left with Billy, the runt of the litter. Peggy says or what - he will threaten to chop off her fingers again? Ruby asks Johnny what she means, and Peggy says he came round to threaten her yesterday. Johnny says Peggy is lying, but Ruby runs off. Johnny calls a henchman (Sean) in and says he wants a job done - carefully, with no repercussions. Sean asks where's the line. Johnny says nothing permanent - just make sure she stays out of his business.

Martin finds Sonia at Jamie's graveside where she's sulking, and she offers her explanation about why she was upset, and says she wrote those cards every year, and is saving them so she can give them to Rebecca later. Sonia whines on about her pain being less important than Rebecca's happiness, but then moans about missing out seeing her again, and Martin says he wishes she had been there with him. Sonia says nastily that's one more regret to put with the rest of them.

Jake asks Dennis about the bookies, and Chrissie offers them ice cream. Sharon says Dennis has really taken to the work, and Chrissie says he kept that a secret. Dennis replies to Chrissie that Den once said everyone has skeletons in their closet. She is cool and asks him what's his? He says it's best left there, what's yours? Chrissie says well if you won't tell me yours.... Dennis says OK, "I once killed a man, what about you?" Sharon says quickly "Dennis!" Chrissie looks back at him defiantly, and says "no, you've got me beat there". Dennis says "really?" Jake quickly says he'd like some ice cream after all, and Chrissie says she's sure she can "dig something up"! Sharon rushes out and Dennis follows her outside, and she has a go at him. He says sorry, but Chrissie is making a mug of her. Sharon says he admits to murder and then accuses her - if that's his idea of being nice, she'd hate to see him when he's not. Dennis insists he knows Chrissie is lying to her, she knows more about what happened to Den than she lets on. Why not visit Sam and see what she says? Sharon says that would betray Chrissie, and she trusts Chrissie so when Dennis realises that and drops all this, she'll be at home. Dennis follows shortly, and passes Chrissie on the stairs and they stare knowingly at each other. Dennis sits down beside Sharon and holds her hand, but she ignores him sulkily.

Tina phones Peggy, and asks if she is OK, and tells her Johnny is furious, and something is going on, and she is afraid for her. Peggy laughs that he wouldn't dare. Tina says "don't stay there, Peggy" just as Johnny walks in and he glares at Tina. Peggy takes Tina's advice and goes out, and is attacked in the square. Billy drives up and shouts at the man to let her go. The henchman replies "yea, you and whose army?" Behind Billy, Phil appears, then Grant, and they both walk up threateningly, and Grant says "Hello Mum". Peggy looks relieved and delighted.

Tue 25 Oct 2005

Grant takes great pleasure in beating up Sean (the man threatening Peggy). Grant puts on the scary eye-popping look as he drags the man away. He and Phil throw him into the bushes in the square and Grant says he will explain later, put the kettle on, Mum.

In the Vic, Chrissie tells Jake that Dennis has calmed down, and Jake says Sharon had a word with him, and they look like they're home free.

Apparently Phil's court case was thrown out because the Crown offered no evidence. The security guard changed his story, and the fact that Grant had just arrived in the country is just a coincidence, obviously. Grant says well he had to do something, with them both banged up, he was starting to feel like an only child. Peggy says she doesn't want to hear any more about that. They ask about Sam, and Billy says that she says Chrissie did it. They explain about Marcus taking everything, Ian has the cafe and Arches. Phil is (maliciously) looking forward to seeing him again. Peggy omits to mention Johnny and denies all knowledge of the man in the square, so Phil and Grant pretend to leave and then listen outside the door while Peggy and Billy chat, and walk back in when she says she doesn't want them getting involved. So, she tells them everything. They decide to talk to Johnny. Peggy says she doesn't want them fighting. Phil says even Grant ain't stupid enough to hit Johnny Allen. Grant says "excuse me?", and Phil says "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, he IS stupid enough but I won't let him". Grant says "oh lovely, I travel half way round the world to help you out, and now I'm stupid. Phil grins "no, you were stupid before you left." Peggy tells them to stop arguing, which results in "he started it", "no, actually you called me stupid", "but no-one is arguing with THAT, are they?" Grant says to Peggy "are you sure he's my brother".

Tina whines to Johnny to think about what he's doing - Peggy has lived round here for ages. She asks all about the family life they discussed, and he snaps back that it was much easier when she was his bit on the side. He goes to the club.

In the Vic Sonia moans that they are drifting apart because she is learning new things, but Martin wants to keep her tied down and the world is bigger than the square. Garry and Minty are acting cool about their jobs, and Ian insists to Jayne that he can't back down or show weakness.

The Mitchell brothers go out to find Johnny, and a gang of hoodies go past and Grant says London's been taken over by hobbits, but this place hasn't changed much. They remember when they first arrived: 15 years, and 3 stone ago. Grant replies "this ain't fat, it's muscle." They look for the henchman who has gone from the bush. Then they check on the motor, and the hoodie kids have just broken into the car and stolen their radio and they run off. The brothers run after them, but the kids run off and laugh "unlucky granddad". Grant says we'd have caught them 5 years ago, my head still thinks I'm 25, but no-one has told my legs yet. That bloke was the first time I've hit anyone in ages. Phil says new rule, no more running - we can still look hard if we stand still, think about what we used to do, it was all front, most of the time we just stood there and looked at them, we didn't have to hit anyone. They go to the club and get a drink - Phil is still on orange juice.

Sean tells Johnny that there were three blokes, the biggest one came at him and he woke up in a holly bush. Johnny is annoyed but says he will ask around in the morning.

At Pat's, Peggy breaks the news to Pat. Pat says Johnny won't take kindly to that, and Peggy says that they are only going to talk, calm things down a bit. Pat laughs, Grant Mitchell the diplomat, that'll be interesting. They are only staying here until Sam gets out of prison. Pat replies "lets hope she doesn't get 20 years."

In the club, Grant tells Phil all about his bar in Rio, where he does British beer, gutbuster breakfasts, and his new woman Carla, whom Courtney likes, but Rio is rough. Grant says if they'd chased those kids in Rio, they have turned around and shot them. Phil asks if they have skirted around enough yet - potted history of Walford, Chelsea winning, now what about the day you left? Grant says it's water under the bridge. Phil says or dashboard, and he needs to know where he stands. Grant says it's history, he is over it and they are good. They shake hands, and Phil laughs sorry for trying to shoot you, and Grant replies sorry for trying to drown you, it's women isn't it? Grant says he thinks about Sharon and wonders what she's doing now she's probably long gone from here. They say how weird it was that Den came back after all those years, and Phil laughs - look who's talking. Grant says but he isn't dead. Phil replies he hasn't been to see Johnny yet, he used to be a vicious git.

Phil throws a glass to distract the bouncer and they go to the office. They walk in. Johnny says "who the hell are you?" They tell him, and he says he met them once, when they were kids. Grant says laconically "we grew." Phil says "we were passing, we thought we'd drop in and say hello." They chat a bit, and Johnny asks if they are here to threaten him, and Phil says should they? Grant says "stop messing around - you go near our mum again, old man, and you'll be eating soup through a straw." Johnny laughs "I love it - good thug bad thug." Johnny says dismissively, "OK, thanks for dropping by, and give my regards to your mum." Phil says he doesn't think Johnny heard. Johnny says it's the old East End thing - but what makes him different, is that when it all kicks off, he doesn't stop, he doesn't think twice, and he goes all the way. So if they want to play, go ahead. Grant says "come on bruv, he's gone into Ronnie and Reggie mode, we've said our piece." Johnny says nastily "you take really good care of Peggy". Phil says "we will".

Jake and Chrissie close the Vic and chat about their future plans, sat on a beach with her in a skimpy bikini, sipping cocktails with nothing to worry about. They continue their chat in bed.

At Pat's, Phil walks in and Pat says hello, then Grant arrives and Pat says she never thought she'd see him again. He says hello cordially and kisses Pat on the cheek. Grant admits he threatened Johnny and Peggy sighs. They have a big fry up and discuss sleeping arrangements. Billy is thrown out of his 2-bed room, as Phil says Billy wouldn't want to share with Grant: he has Falklands flashbacks and tries to throttle people in his sleep. Billy says sulkily they can't have his pillow though, it took him ages to break it in. Phil looks at him with disdain.

Johnny goes to visit Dot and asks her all about the Mitchells, who were in his club this evening. She is surprised they are here, and says it must be because of Sam, and when he asks how well she knows them, she advises him to keep out of their way, and that Grant likes to throw his weight around and has a terrible temper, and Phil is the quieter one, but the one with the brains, what there is of them. She says concernedly "you haven't upset them have you?". Johnny laughs and says no. Dot doesn't believe him and repeats that he should steer well clear.

The Mitchell brothers go the Vic, which is closed and locked up. They don't let Billy join them. It's locked and Phil goes back to Billy get a crowbar. Grant waits a bit, then loses patience and just kicks the door in. Chrissie wakes up, incidentally, but everyone else is asleep. She hears a noise as Grant breaks the lock on an inside door, and creeps downstairs. Grant pours himself a pint and looks at the bust of Queen Victoria. Grant is silently listening as she comes in and looks around in the dark, checking the bolts. Grant surprises her, and tells Chrissie he is Grant Mitchell, and she can start by explaining why his little sister is in prison. Chrissie screams and Dennis appears behind Grant. Chrissie tells him to call the police. Dennis asks what's going on, and she says he broke in. Dennis says "Get out" and Grant doesn't move. Dennis says "I don't want to have to hurt you". Grant look at Dennis, who is several inches shorter and a lot lighter than he is, and replies with a small grin, "that's hardly likely is it?" Dennis stands his ground, despite being clearly at a disadvantage. He says "out", Grant replies "make me", and Dennis swings for Grant, who ducks nimbly and shoulder charges Dennis, lifting him off his feet, and pinning him to the piano, painfully. He continues beating Dennis up but Phil arrives and stops him, as Grant is about to bash Dennis with a bar stool. Grant says he was only talking to Chrissie when her boyfriend jumped him. Sharon appears and turns on the lights and shouts "Grant! He's not her boyfriend, he's my husband!" Grant stops and stares at Sharon.

Thu 27 Oct 2005

Grant is in the cafe and rescues Jayne from dropping a microwave. He asks where he can put it (!). She tells him that her boyfriend owns the cafe and Grant smiles and says tell him that Grant said hello. Phil and Grant go to see Sam, and also want to discover who is Johnny's mystery buyer of the Vic. Jayne tells Ian that a big strapping bloke helped her, and he was quite sweet - his name was err.. oh Grant, that was it. Jayne is a bit surprised at Ian's paranoid reaction.

Johnny arrives at the Slaters to ask for Ruby. Kat tells him to sling his hook - again. Ruby decides to help on the stall, and Johnny complains that she is better than this. She replies that she is happy. Grant is passing and says "kids today eh?... just can't be bought like they used to."

Sonia goes to see Margaret to "explain" about her card [or any excuse]. Margaret tells Sonia how wonderful Martin was with Rebecca. Sonia replies sulkily that it's different for men and is generally ungrateful and sullen.

Phil finds Ian and grabs him. Ian is terrified, and Phil pushes him to the ground, adding that if Ian knows anything about who's buying the Vic, he will be sure to let Phil know, won't he?

Grant asks Phil what Dennis meant last night when he said something - he didn't manage to land a punch did he? Phil says defensively that it was a lucky punch (from Dennis). Grant and Phil go through Sam's story. Sam says that it wouldn't be right to drag Stacey and Zoe into it. Phil and Grant remind her that she didn't kill him, and she will go down for it. Sam says Sharon is protecting Chrissie, and has no clue. Phil says Sam has to convince Sharon. Sam asks Phil to talk Sharon round. Meanwhile Chrissie tells Jake they have to keep the Mitchells away from Sharon. Jake calls Johnny to hassle him about the sale of the Vic.

Ian visits Johnny, and they discuss their deal: Ian buys the Vic and Johnny puts a stake in and get a percentage. Ian says the Mitchells are back, he doesn't want it any more. Johnny says tough.

At home, Grant and Phil discuss which of them will try to persuade Sharon. Grant says suspiciously that Sam seemed to think that Phil was the one to talk to Sharon, and Phil admits to Grant that he and Sharon were together after Grant left.

Phil and Grant walk into the Vic, and Dennis stands up to tell them there will be no repeat of yesterday (hmm brave man, against both of them). They say they are here about Chrissie and Sam, and Dennis says quickly they won't get Chrissie to admit to anything. Even though it's obvious from this brief exchange that both the Mitchells and Dennis think the same about Chrissie, neither side seems to notice their common ground. They tell Dennis they are here to see Sharon, and he says no. They say that Sharon can speak for herself, and shout out to get her down to the bar. Sharon arrives and they just walk past Dennis to talk to her. He tries to say something, but Sharon says she will deal with it. Grant says he just wants to help his little sister, and Sharon just tells them to get out. They do, and Sharon goes back upstairs, with Dennis following her asking if she is all right, and does she want him to come with her? She say no. Jake says quietly to Chrissie (but unfortunately, and ill-advisedly, within Dennis's earshot) "if Sharon wasn't against them before, she is now", and Dennis frowns with irritation.

Back at Pat's Phil and Grant chat about what to do about Sam and Chrissie, and then there is a visitor - Sharon.

Fri 28 Oct 2005

Peggy is disappointed with the fact that they didn't get a promise from Sharon, but Grant insists that they have done as much as they can and Sharon will not be persuaded by more hassle. At the Vic, Dennis promises Sharon that the Mitchells will soon get fed up with harassing her [with some help from him I am sure]. Sharon is distracted, wondering what to do about the prison visit, which is later today. Dennis misconstrues her distant look, and offers to take her to lunch later. She agrees, distractedly.

Peggy scours the square for Sharon and hassles her as soon as she sees her. Minty, who must be Phil's oldest mate around here, asks Phil a favour - saying Ian has sacked him and can Phil have a word.

Phil goes to the Vic to intimidate Chrissie with a few choice comments about her husband, having passed the cafe and poured ketchup all over Ian, just for a laugh really, (it was actually quite amusing, as Ian's aikido skills didn't really prove to be of any use. Phil just laughed at them and used brute force on Ian's pathetic attempt to twist his hand.)

Patrick's ill-thought out plan to open his own car business is stalling at the first hurdle set by Peggy - a business plan. Patrick has a crumpled bit of paper with scrawl on it. He sees Phil and Jim eggs him on to ask him about renting the car lot. Phil replies, with about 2 seconds of thought, OK, fine, but rent in advance and as soon as you don't pay, that's it. Patrick is pleased that he doesn't have to do the paperwork (perhaps not realising that the paperwork associated with actually running the business will be far worse).

Tina decides to force Johnny's hand and she says that their relationship clearly isn't working. He asks her to marry him, presumably to prove it is. She accepts happily [and blindly and stupidly]. She hugs him and looks delighted, while he looks bored. Johnny phones Amy, the new barmaid, for an immediate repeat of her strip - in his office, ten minutes.

Grant goes to the Vic and Dennis is immediately jumpy and jealous, telling him to keep away from Sharon. He tells Sharon about it later but she refrains from mentioning that she went to see Grant and Phil [which will come back to haunt her later, I'm sure].

Ian interviews for the car lot, but Phil stands nearby and frightens off the candidates whom Ian has agreed to interview. Ian also has to fend off some irate customers whose cars have been stuck there for days. Eventually, Phil goes to tell Ian he knows of some candidates, and tells a terrified Ian he has to follow him. They go to the Vic and Phil walks up to Minty and Garry. Ian is humiliated and has to offer them their jobs back with a pay rise.

Phil says loudly, with Chrissie nearby, that when he wants to get something done, it happens. Chrissie is looking nervous and she moans to Jake. Then she whines to Sharon that the Mitchells are very tenacious and will never leave her alone. Sharon decides to visit Sam to sort this out once and for all. When Dennis arrives to take her to lunch, she says she has changed her mind and has lots of things to do at home, so needs to stay in. He shrugs and gives her a quick kiss, thinking nothing of it. She turns up to meet Grant at the last minute, and gets in Grant's car quickly and covertly.

She listens to Sam, who tells her the entire story of the murder night, and explains that Chrissie hated Sharon as well as Den - because Sharon was always the first woman in his life - and that's what she said as she stood gloating over the body. Sharon rushes out saying she doesn't believe her. However, Sam also mentioned the blackmail money and the dates of the cheques Chrissie gave her, saying this was proof [that she had blackmailed Chrissie - nice, but that she was able to do so proof that Chrissie was guilty!].

Sharon goes back to the Vic, and instead of telling Dennis and getting him to look out for Chrissie, she just goes and inspects the books in the living room, and of course Chrissie walks in and asks her what she is doing. Sharon confronts her with the evidence, and Chrissie says she gave Sam a loan because she was on her uppers and Den had conned her out of her pub so she felt sorry for her. Chrissie puts on her tearful act, and tells Sharon how much Den loved her, and she uses the same phrase - Sharon was always the first woman in his life. Sharon now believes Sam.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Phil has a go at Dennis, telling her that Sharon spent all day with him and Grant. Dennis says with conviction that she has been here all day, but when Phil smirks and says ask her, he rushes upstairs frantically. Sharon is still distracted, and ignores Dennis (oh dear!) to follow Grant and Phil and tell them she now knows they are right.

Mon 31 Oct 2005

Dennis is at the bookie's when Pat arrives, and Sharon is phoning him desperately. Dennis looks at the phone and switches it off when he sees who is calling, and Pat ask if he's been there all night and whether he is going to answer that. He says clearly not, and that it's none of her business. He goes into the office, telling Pat that if anyone comes he's not there and she hasn't seen him.

Grant has a go at Phil for winding Dennis up about Sharon going with them to see Sam. Peggy cajoles Sam on the phone. Grant opines that their best bet is to lean on Stacey, but Peggy says she promised not to. Grant says Sam is their sister, and he's not impressed by Peggy's idea to be nice to Stacey.

Chrissie asks Sharon if she wants breakfast, and Dennis too, and Sharon says he had an early start. Jake, rather insensitively, says it must have been very early, he didn't see him. Sharon tells Chrissie it's the anniversary of the day her fiance was killed in a fire.

The scum family have a birthday party for the baby, and waster Keith is too lazy to help blow up balloons and decorate the house. He says his back is painful (even though the DSS found that he was faking his bad back). He can't be bothered to buy a present so gives her a scrapbook of old photos of the baby.

Sharon goes to the bookies and asks Pat where Dennis is, and she says she hasn't seen him but she's sure it's nothing. When Sharon has left, Pat tells Dennis she won't be dragged into this, and he is being unreasonable.

Tina puts on her engagement ring and Johnny tells her to take it off until he has told Ruby. It's obvious that he doesn't care about Tina, only about Ruby's reaction to the news. Tina tells Ruby later, and Ruby isn't impressed. When Johnny tells her, she says she knows, so Johnny goes to complain to Tina about her actions. Tina later goes to persuade Ruby to reconsider and to talk to Johnny, because he is trying to change, and after her pleas, Ruby finally agrees to do so. She goes to the club and walks in on Johnny and Amy eating each other's faces, so quietly runs away without them seeing her.

Sharon sees the Mitchell brothers in the Vic and Grant asks for her help persuading Stacey. She is in the middle of another begging call to Dennis, and she has to explain. She says Dennis didn't come home last night, and Grant says sardonically that Dennis isn't exactly the supportive husband. Sharon has her conversation with Stacey, who refuses to change her story.

Stacey tells Kat, who says the Mitchells might come after her, and Stacey is being incredibly naive or stupid and says she can handle them. Kat goes to see the Mitchells. She tells them that if they do anything to Stacey they will answer to her. Phil smiles and says sarcastically that he's terrified, and Grant adds "I'm shaking all over". They ask her "or what". Peggy appeals to her as a mother, saying that Sam is her daughter, and she can't cope with prison for life, and Chrissie killed Den, and it's unfair. Kat says she is doing what's right, and tells Peggy to just keep her sons away.

Dennis storms into the Vic, and ignores Chrissie's comments. He walks into the kitchen and tells Sharon that he is only here to pick up a few things, and she says she thought they were in this together, what happened. He says "the Chuckle brothers", he has never seen her eyes light up so fast - he told her what he thought and she ignored it, and as soon as they said it, she just lapped it up - does she realise what it's like, watching your wife take sides with someone else? She says she can explain that, but he isn't listening. He says she can stick with them, he will stick with himself. Sharon follows him around the flat (as he collects his clothes), saying they should be together, getting justice for Dad, and Dennis replies why should he care? Sharon says he was your dad, and Dennis replies bitterly there's another one she always sided with against him, well there was a short gap, wasn't there, so he supposes she had to find someone to fill it. Sharon protests she married him! Dennis says he married someone else -and one other thing, I hope you and the Mitchells will be very happy together, including all those prison visits. Sharon asks who told you that? Dennis replies your big mate Phil, he has a big mouth. Dennis leaves the Vic.

Grant decides to take direct action and threatens Stacey. Sharon arrives on the scene and tells him not to do that, and he has to let Stacey go. She says she will call the police - Phil screwed her over by telling Dennis about the prison visit, so she deserves to get her own back. Stacey takes her chance and runs off saying if they touch her again she will go to the police.

Chrissie goes to see Johnny, and Jake tries to stop her. In the entrance to the club she explains to him that now that Sharon thinks badly of her, she can't stand it. Everyone now thinks she killed Den - why would Jake want to be with her after what she has done? She killed him, with her own hands, and buried him, and walked all over his grave. She gets a bit hysterical, so Jake just tries to comfort her.

Johnny sees them on CCTV and goes to talk to them. Chrissie begs him to get her the money quicker than next week. He says why should he help her after she tried to blackmail him? She begs. He tells Jake to leave, but Jake doesn't want to. Chrissie insists, as she will agree to anything. Now they are alone, Johnny says OK, if I decide to help you, what do I get in return? Chrissie asks "What do you want?" Johnny says "What do you think I want?" and he takes his jacket off suggestively, and Chrissie is horrified and says no. He says she can walk out now, or just come over here, closer. She does and looks really disgusted and flinches as he grabs her. He gets close and whispers in her ear "don't flatter yourself, you're not going anywhere until you have signed those deeds next week". Chrissie is humiliated and whines why did he do that? Johnny laughs and says maybe just because he could. Johnny leaves the office, and tells Jake, waiting outside, to get her out of his club: he has standards.

Later, Johnny reviews the tape and finds that his CCTV (which, bizarrely, has audio as well, and clear voice recording) shows the entire doorway conversation of her admitting the murder to Jake, and it's perfectly audible and very clear. He grins.

Tue 1 Nov 2005

Pat goes to the bookies and Dennis opens the door, having again spent the night there, although he doesn't look like he has slept for days. Pat pointedly asks him what lies she is supposed to tell Sharon today, and he snaps that she is here to work, so work. She says that being stroppy won't save his marriage. Dennis looks pissed off and unhappy, so probably knows Pat is right but doesn't want to do anything about it.

Tina and Johnny have a tense breakfast, and Tina says that Ruby was definitely on her way to see Johnny yesterday. Johnny tells Tina to stop telling him what to do and, incidentally, to learn how to make coffee.

Phil enjoys seeing Ian looking terrified every time he walks past.

Stacey tells Ruby not to tell Tina, she knows what Johnny is like and it's her own stupid fault if she marries him. Tina arrives, and Ruby tells her. Tina is confused and upset, and goes to ask Johnny if it's true. He lies to her and she realises it's a lie, and shouts at him. The fact that the barmaid is just leaving the office as she arrives and Johnny is wiping lipstick off his face makes Johnny's lies even less convincing. Tina says he has just been caught having an affair. Johnny says the affair is over, Tina will get over it, go home take a Valium and calm down. Tina says he can't treat her like this. She goes home and packs and leaves. Ruby begs her to stay, but she won't, and they hug as Tina tearfully explains that all she ever wanted was for them to be a family.

Jake and Chrissie whisper about clearing out the bank accounts for the flight to Mexico in a couple of days.

At the scum household, Dawn takes her mother out for the day, saying that Keith can manage to give the twins their tea for once. He is playing with some toy soldiers [which are far too small for the baby, and would be a choking hazard, so I have no idea what he is doing with them: just avoiding work, presumably]. Dawn pays for everything with her credit card, and towards the end of the day, Rosie notices she is using her father's surname and Dawn tells her that she and Mickey saw him. Rosie is a bit upset about this and they argue a little.

While Chrissie and Jake are out to get their tickets the Mitchell brothers go to the Vic and chat to Sharon. She isn't happy about the plan, but Phil goes to search upstairs and Grant stays in the bar while Billy keeps a lookout for Chrissie's return outside the Vic. Grant and Sharon get on very well and he shows her his family photos, of his wife and kids. Grant says all he wants to do is help Sam, and they may not be going about this the right way, but they are all she has got, and it's the only way they know. Grant muses about what things he misses about here, and Sharon comments on him throwing his weight around with Phil, and that some people have grown up in the last ten years! Grant says he isn't like that any more, and she's not that much different, family always comes first. Phil comes back and says he didn't find a thing, and goes home. Grant says he will catch up. Sharon laughs that the three of them were together and no-one hit anyone. Grant jokes they put stuff in Phil's tea while he was inside. He talks about his kids, and keeps on saying that he thought Sharon would have her own by now. [Grant has apparently mellowed considerably, he is behaving nothing like his old self, it's very odd!]

She goes into the back and Grant comes to offer to help her tidy up after Phil. They continue the conversation about kids, Sharon saying why she won't ever have any. She explains that she had an abortion and can't have kids any more, and she couldn't tell him before, because he would have gone mad. Grant asks what this has to do with him. She says it was his baby. Grant looks stunned. However, he recovers quickly and says he wasn't ready for kids then, and he couldn't even look after himself then - look how badly he treated Courtney's mother. He gently says how sorry he is about her not being able to have kids and she's had a tough time. He tenderly kisses her goodbye on the cheek.

At the bookies, Pat says Sharon is living with the woman who killed her dad, while he is there sulking, and Sharon needs him: he's all she has got. She concludes, isn't it time Dennis grew up and acted like a man? Dennis finally gives in and goes to the Vic. He walks in to the sight of Grant kindly kissing Sharon goodbye - and Dennis walks out again looking murderous.

Meanwhile, Johnny rebuffs Amy. He goes home and makes fun of Tina for having packed. He said what did she expect - marry the mistress and you create a vacancy. She says he's pathetic and he says she is an anorexic fake blonde. Tina says Peggy has destroyed any chance he had to keep Ruby, and Johnny attacks her, grabbing her by the throat and pushing her against the wall and he is just about to punch her when Ruby walks in. Tina shouts at her to go, and Johnny stops and chases Ruby. He shouts across the square and Grant taunts him as he walks across the square, saying he's lost his girlfriend and his daughter. Dennis watches from near the Vic, just behind Grant. Johnny is furious and says his (Grant's) family will pay for this, and he swings an angry punch which Grant deftly sidesteps and he uses Johnny's momentum to let him fall past into the bushes. He says "it's not your day is it?" Johnny is on the floor and Dennis walks over and reaches a hand out, and says Johnny will need some help if he wants to hurt that family.

Thu 3 Nov 2005

Johnny talks to Dennis in the square, saying "here we are - the dream team". They see Grant walk past with Phil, and Dennis is furious and says "I'll kill him". Johnny tells him not to go down to their level, and to wait - there are two of them and he'd end up looking like a mug [and probably a rather battered one!]. Dennis says "like you did yesterday?" and Johnny says that was a moment of madness. Dennis says just get a few bodies and smack them all over the square. Johnny says play a psychological game, get under their skin - they all share the same weakness - Sharon. He adds that Grant and Phil have unresolved issues over her. Dennis looks sullenly annoyed and from his terse responses is clearly very uncomfortable about this tack. He refuses to use her like that, and Johnny uses his reaction and says why, because it makes you angry? Well, imagine how Grant felt when his wife went with his own brother. Talk about it, and watch them destroy each other. He adds that Sharon used them to wind Dennis up - he was happily married before they turned up. Johnny says the only way to get her back is to get rid of them. Even drawing attention to the wind-up method doesn't prevent Dennis from over-reacting jealously and becoming very wound up by Johnny's manipulative comments. Johnny leaves Dennis to brood over this, but tells him to watch Grant, and say they will talk later. Dennis glowers determinedly.

Patrick opens his car lot - but has no cars! He desperately tries to find some before the next weekly auction, as he wants to open earlier than then, as his first week's rent will be due sooner. At the Arches, Garry gets an unhappy customer who leaves his car, just as Patrick comes round to ask if they know of any going. Garry and Minty tell him to go to Ian, and Patrick says he needs cars to sell, and Ian says the fish man is selling his. Patrick asks could Ian make a call for him - he needs cars or Phil will be after him at the end of the week. Ian suddenly decides that would be good for him, and says he will enjoy that, so no he won't help. Later, Jim has a word about traders helping each other out, and Ian relents.

Grant arrives at the Vic to talk to Sharon, telling her they have to keep an eye on Chrissie to stop her running. Dennis watches him arrive and leave.

Peggy goes to ask Stacey to tell the truth. Kat rescues her. Grant arrives, and Kat snipes at him, while Stacey screeches and pushes him, saying "get out".

Phil arrives at Johnny's and says he needs to know about the sale of the Vic. Johnny pretends he can't find the papers with the completion date on. He asks Phil to beg, saying it's music to his ears watching a Mitchell beg. Phil looks furious and says they will hold him responsible if Chrissie leaves, and he is asking man to man for a favour. Johnny says he doesn't like Grant - he doesn't like any of them, but Grant tops his list. He says he knows where Grant is every minute of the day - right now he is in the cafe, before that he went to see Sharon and before that he was with Peggy seeing Stacey. Phil says big deal, and Johnny says it will be a big deal when Grant doesn't come home one night. Phil takes a swipe and Johnny sidesteps, and says he still has the footwork - whereas Phil's is plodding like his old man's. Phil asks what the problem is with his family. Johnny implies that Peggy would know.

Phil goes to the cafe and asks Grant if he has noticed anyone following him. Grant says no. Dennis arrives at the cafe, and Grant looks up and says cheerfully "now there's someone that could do with a slap". Dennis replies angrily "and you're going to do it are you?" Ian quickly says he doesn't want any trouble in the cafe, and Grant smirks and says amusedly "now don't try any ninja moves on me, Ian".

Dennis and starts to taunt them with Johnny's suggestion. He asks about Sharon, and says they know how she is all supportive one minute then suddenly betrays you. Phil says none of your business. Dennis says to Grant that he heard she was the love of his life - so how exactly did he take it, did he just let it go? Billy interrupts, and Grant says let's go. Dennis is furious at the interruption. On his way out, Phil says when he first met Dennis, he was scared to talk to Sharon - looks like nothing's changed.

Phil say he's going back to Johnny's, and Grant goes to get ready, and Peggy tries to stop Phil. Phil asks her why Johnny wants to kill Grant, and he wants the real details about Johnny and Peggy. She finally admits what she did with Ruby. When Grant gets back, Phil says change of plan, and Grant is annoyed, he wanted to crack some heads. He says he's off to see Dennis instead. Grant finds Dennis looking edgy in the square and Dennis ignores a call from Johnny. He casually and politely asks Dennis if he has a minute for a chat. Dennis hesitates, and Grant grins "Not scared are you?". He walks off and, at a slight distance, Dennis follows Grant, who tells Minty and Garry to take a break, and shuts the door to the Arches.

They circle each other and Dennis looks very wary. Grant starts with "what exactly are you trying to prove? Is there a point to the moody teenager act?" Dennis asks him who does he think he is, and Grant says "the question is who do you think I am - some bloke from Sharon's past who has turned up to sweep her off her feet? If you do, it's all in your head.  Not that I couldn't, but she's a mate now.  And she deserves better than what she's getting from you." Dennis says Grant doesn't know him, and Grant says he knows he's an idiot running around breaking Sharon's heart and she just keeps on loving him. But, Sharon has her limits - a lot further than the average bird, but once she reaches that, there is no coming back. Dennis replies that it's lucky he doesn't have a brother like Grant's then. Grant explains "Did you know that Sharon went to see Sam to protect you - we had a deal, she visited Sam, I stayed away from you, so you have nothing to worry about, stop sulking and get a grip." Dennis says sulkily "don't tell me what to do". Grant gets a little less patient, and says "your old man is dead, the murderer is about to do a runner, my sister is in prison, and you're sulking when you have nothing to be jealous about." Dennis says he doesn't have to listen to this, and starts to leave. Grant (showing great restraint) puts a hand on his chest to prevent him walking out. Dennis stares straight at him and says "take your hand off me", and Grant does. Grant says "your call." Dennis leaves, acting unimpressed, saying "I have a rule, never take relationship advice from your wife's exes".

Dennis goes to see Johnny and says his plan didn't work. Johnny snidely says Dennis didn't do it properly. Dennis starts to get annoyed, and says he is not interested in chess moves, he just wants Grant's head split open. Johnny says OK, go and do it, and Dennis asks why he won't - I tried it your way, now you do it mine. Johnny winds Dennis up, saying "it's not my wife he's having cosy chats with", and Dennis says "you don't have a wife." Johnny taunts back "neither do you". He enjoys seeing Dennis getting wound up and continues with his snide remarks - that's your wife, he has you on a piece of string playing you like a muppet. Dennis leaves furiously.

Grant goes home and they ask him if he hit Dennis, and he says no, he did it right this time, and asks Phil what he has been doing all day, at least he has been out there doing something. The brothers bicker a bit, then they decide to show they are a united family and go to the Vic for a drink. Chrissie looks worried when they go in, but it's quiet. Then Grant stands up and says loudly "a toast - Sam's 3rd month inside".

Dennis strides around the square angrily, and pauses looking up at Sharon's window. Stacey is wandering around the dark square and they are both a bit aimless, so they sit down, and it's reminiscent of one of their first chats when she had just arrived and Dennis felt sorry for her. She asks Dennis what's going on and Dennis says moodily "I'm screwing up my life again, Sharon is the best thing that ever happened to me and I am out here being a loser again, just like I always was". Stacey says he's not a loser, just a ... waster. Dennis continues, unhappily and emotionally "I just want a normal life and every time I get near to it something happens and I try to make that better and just end up making it worse." Stacey says "I know how you feel - grown-ups have all the power and mess you up: Johnny is the same with Ruby, the way he tries to manipulate her is disgusting, but they are seeing through him now, that's why Tina left." Dennis is interested by this information, and gets up purposefully. He looks over as Johnny goes to the Vic.

Dennis stops feeling sorry for himself and asks Stacey what she is doing, and what did Kat tell her to make her do it? That she is very brave, that she is a Slater? He says she is being used, he knows what it is like, having that kind of burden, but you have to let it out some time, and soon. Stacey gets up to leave, and says she hopes he feels better. Dennis says quickly, Chrissie did it, Sharon is on her own, Phil and Grant are on the warpath, Zoe is gone and we are getting dragged into it. All these people would be released if you just told the truth. Stacey says no. Dennis replies "Fine, join my club, get stuck in a rut that just gets deeper and deeper, everyone else is just getting on with life, and after a while people won't even notice you any more, is that what you want?  Stacey relents and sits down again to talk.

In the Vic, Johnny looks over to Grant, who wonders why. Phil tells him to ignore it, but he looks worried. Dennis strides in purposefully and Phil gets up and blocks his way, but Grant gets up and says it's all right, and Dennis stands in front of him and after a rather over-dramatic pause holds out his hand to shake, and offers to buy him a drink. Jake looks concerned, and Johnny immediately leaves the Vic. He goes to the bar and Sharon smiles at him. He says "I'm sorry", and she says she is sorry for not believing him. He looks at her and sweetly says he has been a prat, life is no good without her, and can he come home. Sharon says of course and he hoists himself on the bar to lean over and kiss her. Peggy interrupts and says they are still no nearer to getting Sam out. Dennis turns around and says he just broke Stacey's alibi, Chrissie's going down. Chrissie looks stony-faced, and everyone else looks cheerful.

Fri 4 Nov

Ruby tells Kat that Stacey didn't come home last night. Old Mo and Kat go out looking.

Dennis gets up and says a guarded "morning" to Chrissie. He whispers reassuringly to Sharon it's only for a few more hours.

Grant and Phil tell Peggy the police are going round to see people later today. Kat arrives and shouts at them, asking what they did to Stacey. Grant says with a bored tone, nothing, and she can keep on asking, but the answer will remain the same. Kat screeches on, saying if anything happens to Stacey, they will pay for it. Grant smiles at her and says "well if it's you dealing it out, I'll look forward to it." She leaves and Phil and Grant sigh that they'll have to try to find her.

Old Mo goes to Chrissie and says they all know what she did, but it doesn't matter who she killed before, if Stacey isn't all right, she'll 'ave 'er.

Sharon hears the commotion, and asks what's up and then tells Dennis, who also goes out looking for Stacey! He asks Kat about Stacey and says that last night she admitted the alibi is false, and he says he is sorry if Zoe is dragged into it. He also tells Kat they had to go to the police. Chrissie hears this and runs home to Jake saying they have to go now. Sharon tries to keep her occupied at the Vic. Grant sends Billy to ensure she doesn't run away.

In the square, Dennis hears Ruby's phone go off and quickly goes to ask her where Stacey is. Ruby immediately shuts her phone and denies all knowledge. Phil and Grant also arrive, and then they leave her quickly. Obviously, Dennis continues to watch her. They follow Ruby to the allotment shed, and she meets Stacey, and Dennis walks in on them. He says they can do it calmly or with her kicking and screaming, what's it going to be? She runs away, and is cornered with Phil and Grant each blocking one entrance. She evades Phil, but Grant grabs her and she bites him. He holds her and Dennis tries to persuade her to change her mind. Grant gets bored and picks her up over his shoulder and takes her off. Phil does the same with Ruby.

Johnny tells Billy he has a proposition, and Billy should come to the club. Billy tells him to stick it. Johnny then asks for Jake. Chrissie whispers that they are leaving today and the solicitor will forward the money.

Stacey runs home and packs. Kat has a go at her for telling Dennis, and Stacey makes it clear that she will keep on lying to the police and everyone else, for her and Zoe. But she says she can't stay here making everyone's lives a misery.

Peggy opens the car lot. The police arrive and Chrissie sees them and locks herself in her bedroom to pack.

The police knock on the door, and Kat quickly tells Stacey to tell the truth. They question her again and she sticks to her story and has the alibi word perfect, and the film they watched, which they notice isn't there. Stacey says it's in another box. They say she could end up in prison just to protect Chrissie Watts. She isn't frightened, and still sticks to the story.

Chrissie packs and leaves a bag in the cellar. Sharon and Dennis watch her and she leaves saying she has a meeting at the brewery. Dennis follows her quickly and the police talk to her and she agrees to talk to them. Jake calls her phone and she answers, saying she's still at home with the police. Chrissie says the Mitchells have hounded Stacey into saying something else. The police try to trap her, asking about the film they watched, and they offer the name of a different film. Chrissie keeps on with her story that she can't remember, and doesn't fall into the trap. They leave, and Dennis and Sharon want to know what happened. The police say that they have no new information, so have no reason to detain Chrissie, even if she leaves.

Chrissie and Jake have a frantic whispered conversation trying to plan their escape - Jake couldn't change the tickets and they don't have much cash. Jake goes to see Johnny, hoping to get an advance on the Vic sale, but Johnny shows him the tape of Chrissie confessing. Johnny laughs at his favourite part, which is "classic". Meanwhile, Chrissie runs away with her bag packed and meets up with Jake later. Jake tells Chrissie Johnny's deal - which is they will stay until Jake has helped him sort out the Mitchells. They have no choice, if he shows them the tape, they will have no chance.

Next, Johnny invites Billy to the club to talk, and has left the video on freeze frame of Chrissie. He makes a simple excuse to leave the room, so that Billy can watch a few seconds, and then he goes back in as Billy is trying to take the tape. Billy acts normal and Johnny ushers him out quickly. Billy runs home to tell Grant and Phil that Chrissie confessed on a tape that Johnny has. Johnny carefully puts it in his safe.

Mon 7 Nov 2005

Phil visits Ian and picks up a package from Kathy. Ian also has a problem with the Vic sale which he mentions, but Johnny dismisses him, saying sort it out himself.

Grant watches Johnny's and when he comes out of his house he asks Johnny for the tape. Johnny smirks and say perhaps he will see them later. He tells Phil to keep Grant on a leash, he doesn't make empty promises or repeat himself. Phil tells Grant to watch out - Johnny wants payback, and won't give them the tape easily. Grant calls him a bund-aow and Phil tells him that maybe the tape is bait.

Chrissie cries and tells Jake how scared she is about the tape. Jake says he will go and see Johnny and get the tape and burn it. Sharon moans to Dennis that Chrissie is still in bed - doesn't she think she has to work any more. He says, not necessarily, he has seen the looks Sharon is giving Chrissie, and maybe she can't face them.

Jake visits Johnny, who tells him that he let Billy see the tape. Jake shouts that Johnny is stupid, and he smirks at him to sit down and think about it. Johnny says he will give Jake the tape as payment, for "driving". Jake knows what he means and says no. Johnny says he and Jake will take a short drive with Phil and Grant.

Phil and Grant chat with Billy, and Grant wants to walk in and take the tape. Phil wants to work out why Johnny told them about the tape. Billy suggests he can break in and look around. Grant says sarcastically yea and maybe he can lure Johnny out by leaving a trail of his favourite biscuits. Peggy arrives and asks what they are talking about so they have to stop.

Grant and Billy leave and Phil explains to Peggy. Peggy whines that Phil promised to keep Grant away from Johnny. Phil says Grant has been out of short trousers a while now, no-one can tell him what to do. Grant comes back ready to go to Johnny's and Peggy tells him he has to drive her to see Sam.

Grant agrees and tells Phil that he will be back in half an hour. Phil goes to see Johnny, and Ruby answers the door, and Stacey has a go at Phil. He says that when they have seen to her (Ruby's) father, Stacey's alibi won't last long. He sees Jake, and tells him tell Johnny to meet them in the Vic. Phil refuses to go to the club when Jake says Johnny will be there, saying he has been set up before.

Stacey and Ruby chat and Ruby wants to warn Johnny about the Mitchells being after him.

In the Vic, Ian tells Chrissie that he is the mystery buyer, and she needs to hurry up her solicitors. Meanwhile Phil meets Johnny in the Vic and asks how much Johnny wants for the tape. At the same time, Jake goes to the club saying he will get the tape when Johnny comes back.

In the Vic, Johnny tells Phil that in fact he wants to give Phil the tape, but he is not doing them a favour, it is business. He doesn't like innocent people getting done for something they didn't do, and the sooner Chrissie is out the better. He invites Phil to come to the club to get the tape. Phil says "do I look like a mug?" Johnny says fine, if you change your mind you know where I am. However, he does go to the club. Johnny sits down in his office and stalls and Phil says so where is it? Johnny says that manners are what set us apart from apes. Phil replies "and I thought it was opposing thumbs." [Duh, no that's what sets us, and apes, apart from cows.] Johnny makes Phil say "can I have the tape please, Mr Allen." Phil wants to play the tape. Johnny insists he ask nicely, and Phil reluctantly does so. Grant decks Jake and barges in, telling Phil he told him to wait! Phil argues, saying this way was best - Johnny had threatened Grant. Grant is annoyed and says what - was he supposed to be scared? Johnny smirks at their argument and says they are pathetic. Phil throws the first punch, and there is a fight, and they grab the tape. Jake runs away, and they turn to leave, but Johnny pulls a gun and shouts stop. Phil says "told you". Finally, Ross Kemp remembers the old Grant Mitchell, and goes into lunatic mode and shouts back at Johnny "Come on then do it, right here, NOW!" Johnny hesitates, and Phil says "he won't" and Johnny cocks the gun, and Grant looks at him defiantly and says "all mouth", then Ruby appears at the door behind the Mitchells and says worriedly "Dad!". Phil says quickly "it's all right, darling" and Johnny shouts at her to go back into the bar. Phil says "listen to your Dad". Ruby fearlessly walks up to stand in front of the gun and says please Dad, I just want you to be my Dad, give them whatever they want. So Johnny gives in. They grin and say one more thing, who is buying the Vic? Ruby says "please, for me". Johnny tells them it's Ian.

In the cafe, Jayne asks Ian why he has been acting so strangely all day, and someone comes in to tell him they saw the Mitchells running to the Vic. He goes to see.

The Mitchells run to the Vic and rush upstairs to look for Chrissie, who has gone. They are furious. Sharon and Dennis follow them and ask what's going on.

Tue 8 Nov 2005

Grant and Phil explain to Dennis and Sharon, and they find Chrissie has taken all the money from the safe. Grant and Dennis go to look for Chrissie, and Phil and Billy go to see Ian, while Sharon watches the tape.

Jayne thinks Ian is being silly when he cowers behind the door, and lets them in. Ian admits that he hasn't given Chrissie any money yet. Billy is left at Ian's to keep an eye on him to ensure it stays that way.

Dennis and Grant go to Alfie's and he and Nana tell them that Jake and Chrissie paid a flying visit, and Nana whitters on saying they made a phone call. Grant redials and they go to see the cab firm that answer. Dennis goes back to tell Sharon and look after her. He tries to shut Peggy up as she keeps on to Sharon that she should have listened.

Back at Alfie's he tells Jake off for making Nana tell heavy duty lies. Alfie shuts the door and asks Jake to tell him Jake's plan in private. He guesses and Jake says he needs money, and Alfie says Nana's money is for her, and is more important than life on the run for him and Chrissie. Chrissie phones Ian and Billy answers, and calls the other Mitchells to tell them Chrissie called. Jayne asks Ian why he didn't tell her about the Vic. Ian says he had to keep it quiet because the Vic is like public property, and owning it would be like winning the pools. He says his dream was to ban all the Mitchells on his first day owning it. Ian moans that all he needs is for Chrissie to sign the contract - it is right there but it's too late now. Jayne looks thoughtful and says not necessarily, and locks the back door, then she tricks Billy into coming into the kitchen and then kicks him between the legs and locks him in.

Johnny and Ruby decide to go home, and Ruby tells Stacey that she is going home because her Dad chose her over whatever else.

Grant finds out that the cab firm call was a false trail, and Chrissie may be still around. Ian and Jayne go to Alfie's and he is annoyed at them doing any business with Nana in the house. Chrissie and Jake go to the cafe with Ian, sign the contracts, then leave, as if nothing has happened. Chrissie makes some calls in the cab, booking tickets on her credit card then going elsewhere.

Phil, Grant and Dennis chat, wondering where Chrissie has gone. Grant accuses Dennis of being stupid for living with a murderer under the roof and Dennis takes exception, and Phil tells them to stop bickering. They call Billy and Jayne answers, so they go there, to find Ian has gone. Billy whines that Jayne tricked him, and Grant replies sardonically that Barbie could trick him.

Chrissie and Jake leave in a cab, but are stopped by Kat standing in the middle of the road. Chrissie tells her that Zoe will be out of it, because she will be gone. Meanwhile, the Mitchells go to the cafe and ask Ian where she is. Patrick chats conversationally to Chrissie while the cab is waiting, and she says they are off for coffee and croissants. Patrick goes to the Vic, where the Mitchells, Dennis and Sharon are with the police. Billy discovers he just saw her, and they are all delighted she hasn't escaped yet. The police notify all ports and airports and Chrissie and Jake arrive at an airport, after booking their tickets on the train. However, they are caught, and Sharon appears at the airport, and says laying a false trail for the second time wasn't very clever. Sharon punches her, and the police quickly arrest Chrissie for murder.

Thu 10 Nov 2005

Chrissie wakes up with a start in a police cell, but still has lipgloss. Grant has a flight at 8, so he and Phil decide to sort out Ian. He goes to show Sharon the contract Chrissie signed. Phil and Grant are not impressed and throw him out anyway.

Alfie goes home and Jake is there, and he apologises to Alfie for involving him and Nana in Chrissie's murder of Den. Jake says it was self-defence, and Chrissie doesn't deserve this, and Jake moans that he loves her, and he is going away to get his head together. Alfie says he can stay there, but Jake doesn't want to. Nana has arranged her items and planned to whom she will leave them all.

Stacey is having a party, and she says to Kat and Old Mo that they don't have to have a party now, with this hanging over their heads. Old MO tells her they will all get on with their lives.

Johnny wakes up late, and tells Ruby she should have woken him. Johnny says to prove that he has changed, he is going to take her out all day. Ruby looks uncomfortable. She tells Stacey that she has a problem with the party. Old Mo says OK, we will sort it, and she invites Johnny to come and spend his time with Ruby at the party. Stacey quickly says it's probably not his thing, but Johnny says that's fine, he would love to come to the party. He goes with Ruby to get a card and present and Ruby says just put money in the card.

Peggy phones Sam and says she may be out of prison later today, the solicitor is talking to the police. Grant and Phil pack and say they are going to the Vic and it's called squatter's rights. Jayne looks annoyed when she sees it.

Chrissie watches the tape in the cell and refuses to say anything until she has seen Sharon.

Jayne tells Ian he has to shift the Mitchells out of his (their) pub! Ian says he will call his brief. Jayne points out that he can't do that when he has to throw someone out of the pub at closing time.

Jake asks Alfie what Nana is doing (sorting out her things) and Alfie says she wants to visit her husband's grave. Jake hands him a huge wad of cash and says this is to make a dream come true, and Chrissie and I won't be using it now, so they can make another dream come true. Jake gets a cab and kisses Nana goodbye. Alfie tells Jake that Chrissie will be in prison for a few years, wouldn't it be better to make a clean break? Jake isn't convinced and leaves.

Sharon visits Chrissie, who explains why she did it - he provoked her, as if he was daring her to do it, right to the end. Chrissie says she knows what Den was like - how he could get in your head. Sharon says she is wasting her time with Chrissie squirming out of the blame. Chrissie says OK I admit it, I killed him, by myself. Sharon goes back and tells everyone - including Kat, that Chrissie admitted it and kept Zoe out of it.

Johnny at Stacey's party, and Old Mo asks if Tina is back as well, and he says no. Old Mo winks at him and says there are other opportunities. Johnny looks horrified/terrified.

Ian visits the Vic and tells the Mitchells that he owns the Vic. Sharon tells him that Chrissie forged Den's signature, so it's worthless. Ian goes off in a sulk, and Sharon and Dennis offer the pub to Phil and Grant, saying that they don't want it, so they will take a fair offer.

Alfie shows Nana the table with an envelope on it - tickets to Normandy for tomorrow - Armistice Day.

The Mitchells toast Sam, who arrives suddenly, and everyone hugs her and has a drink. Phil is behind the bar, as if he owns it, and Grant says he has to go home now - and asks Phil to say goodbye to Mum and Sam, he hates soppy goodbyes. Phil starts to say no chance, they'll need several boxes of tissues and turns around and Grant has gone.

Fri 11 Nov 2005

Alfie and Nana chat on the ferry, and Nana whitters on about Churchill then there is a protracted flashback of her meeting William in the war while Alfie goes up on deck.

In the flashback, two seconds after telling each other their names, they end up snogging. Then she gets pregnant, and while she is telling her friends, who all say she'll never see him again, William arrives and asks her to marry him. They decide to call the baby Alfred if it's a boy and to have more kids - she wants four and he wants eight. She has the baby, and writes a letter to William, but his leave has been suspended for D-day. Then there is a D-day landing scene where William tells a scared young soldier called Sid that he will get through this.

When they get to the hotel, Nana tells Alfie they need to have a serious talk. Alfie avoids it by saying he will get some food first. He goes to the bar and is teased about his West Ham scarf by some old soldier wearing lots of medals. Meanwhile, Nana continues the reminiscing flashbacks in their hotel bedroom. Alfie arrives back and is worried that she's dead and wakes her up. She makes a bundle of letters with an envelope on top for Alfie and goes to bed. Next morning, Alfie opens it while she is in the bathroom, and it's the instructions for her funeral clothes and items she wants to "take with her" when she is gone - that is William's letters. She tells Alfie she wants him to read the letters to get to know William. Alfie gets upset that she is giving up her life and seems ready to die. He goes to get dressed up as well. They argue at breakfast, when Alfie orders a huge meal, and she refuses to eat it, and he says that is why she is ill, through not eating and he shouts at her to eat it. On the beach, the old bloke who made the snide comment before tells him off for treating her badly. Alfie says she is dying and starts whimpering and snivelling and the old bloke hands him a clean handkerchief. Alfie gabbles on about how she has looked after him and how scared he is that she is dying. The old bloke says he was 16 when he landed here, and he was terrified and crying, so there's no shame in being scared. Alfie says he has to get back to his Nan, and they shake hands and the old bloke (whose name is Sid, obviously) tells him he will get through this.

They go to the cemetery and Nana takes the flowers that Alfie got for her. Nana believes that dying is just like going into another room, and she says he was so young and beautiful and she hopes he recognises her, she is so old. She tells the gravestone "see you soon darling".

Mon 14 Nov 2005

Phil goes downstairs in the Vic, hearing a noise, so he wields a baseball bat. It's only Sam, who says she didn't realise that getting out would be so traumatic, it was all she wanted.

Ian argues with Jayne about whether they can ask for their 5,000 back, which is what they paid for the Vic. Ian says it will be obvious that he knew she couldn't argue, therefore was guilty, so they are accessories. Jayne says nobody can prove that.

In the Vic, Peggy tells Rosie that her job is open, but her standards are much higher than Chrissie's. Phil cleans the pipes,  and appears totally at home, despite the fact he was never before actually employed in any part of running the pub.

In the cafe, Garry tells Ian that he has no work, because all jobs this morning are cancelled. Minty looks smug in the Arches, doing nothing. Garry tells Pat that Chrissie will get away with it just by turning on the waterworks. He is chattering and Sam comes in so he makes a quick exit. Old Mo comes in and talks to Sam, mainly to ensure that Zoe is kept out of it.

Ritchie Scott, the solicitor, visits Phil and asks if Sam is there, so she can check over the outstanding charges. Then she goes to visit Ian and asks to see the books before Mr Mitchell makes an offer for the business. Ian goes to see Johnny to say the Mitchells are doing him out of business, and somehow sabotaging his business. He asks about the 5K he has lost, and Johnny is unsympathetic and says he has no reason to upset the Mitchells again.

Garry is in the launderette, washing his overalls (as Ian suggested) and Naomi comes in and tells him he has chosen the worst wash, it will take hours, and she offers to make him a sandwich. They have a pleasant chat over lunch and arrange to see a film later.

Ruby is at home and after telling Johnny she didn't want to go back to school, but wants to go to a local college. However, after Johnny has left, there is an answerphone message saying that her headmistress is expecting her back next term, but Johnny has to pay the fees. She is furious at him for lying to her, and she tells him as soon as he gets back.

At the Arches, Phil is making Ian a knock-down offer for the Arches, when Johnny arrives with his car and he completely ignores Phil and asks Ian to sort out the brakes, and if he does a good job there will be lots more work. He smirks as he hands the keys over. Ian thanks him obsequiously.

Peggy puts her name over the door and opens the Vic at 11am, giving Pat a free drink. She makes Phil collect up everything of Chrissie's and dump it in binbags. Little Mo is behind the bar too. Sam tells Peggy that she can't be at the opening party, because last time she was here, she was wielding a pick axe, people won't accept her with open arms now. She feels paranoid about what people are saying about her. She sees Tracey and says she can't say anything: what she did was unforgivable, but she will do anything she can to make it up to her. Tracey looks uncomfortable and says it's busy in the bar.

Ian goes to the Vic and tells Sam that her family have cheated their way this far, and people round here won't accept him. Sam calls him a jumped up little man who throws his weight around because he has a chip van. She throws him out. Ritchie arrives and tells Phil she has something for him - it's about Sam. Phil talks to Peggy and tells her quietly that Sam will do about four years on the outstanding charges, and Ritchie is the best there is, so that's the best Sam can expect.

Tue 15 Nov 2005

Ian sets up a quiz night in the cafe to rival the Vic party. Sam is horribly cheerful and Peggy doesn't want to tell her about the expected four year prison sentence. Phil says they have to be straight with her. She takes it quite well, and says she expected that.

Jake plans his getaway to stay near Chrissie, leaving his bag under the stairs, and lying to Nana that he is looking for Xmas lights. She goes rummaging around there too, saying it's full of rubbish and she has sorted it out and put the rubbish in black bags. Alfie tries to stop her, because of Jake's luggage. Jake leaves before the dinner, but comes back, telling Alfie he phoned Chrissie and said he'd be there tomorrow. Nana was never really fooled, and says she is pleased to have him back there and all the people she invited round for dinner mutter a bit. Alfie makes a curry, and accidentally drops a whole tub of salt in there. Jake rushes out to get a takeaway and the evening is a success. He leaves on the last train and Nana tells him that he has to follow his heart, and he really loves Chrissie doesn't he? After he has gone, Nana continues with her "tidying up" and throws out all black bags of the rubbish that were under the stairs.

Ian starts the quiz to a packed cafe, but then Minty appears to get Garry, telling him there are free drinks at the Vic. Everyone leaves, except Keith who arrives hoping to win the cash. Ruby comes in and talks to Jules, and Ian insists they stay. He makes Jayne and his kids do the quiz too, so there are three teams in all. There is a tie between the Millers and Ruby. Keith gets a spelling question in the tie-break and loses, so Ruby gets the hundred quid. Ian tries to wriggle out of it saying Jules is an employee and he can't give him the money. Jayne tells him not to try to wriggle out of it. Ian tells his kids off for not knowing the answers, and Jayne tells him to stop his stupid grudge match with Phil. Everyone leaves, and Jayne says he can tidy up himself, for being so nasty to the children. Gus comes in with Well'ard, who attacks Ian when he takes some leftover food away. Ian throws him out, then Phil arrives to threaten Ian, and say he may not stop with the Arches, he may take the cafe too.

In the Vic, Garry chats up Naomi, offering her a place to stay when she moans about Dot's rules being a pain. She agrees, after a few drinks.

While walking Ghengis, Darren finds a holdall with a wad of cash in it (presumably Jake's) in a black bin bag, and quickly grabs it and runs off.

Thu 17 Nov 2005

Next morning, Peggy discusses Sam with Phil, saying she will get through it. Sam goes out for a run. Phil says she can't hack another stretch and he has obtained a false passport and tickets to Rio. Peggy says if she says she will be free afterwards, but if she runs, she will never be able to come back.

Ian is obviously furious about Well'ard biting him and it was apparently so bad that he had to go to hospital wait for three hours to have five stitches in his wounded arse. Everyone in the square takes the piss out of him, and Gus tries to apologise, saying Well'ard is never vicious. Ian takes this as implying it was his fault. Dawn follows Ian and says she thinks it's impressive that he is letting it drop about the dog, and Ian says no chance. He calls the police, and asks for the dog to be destroyed. She rushes over to tell Gus, and Gus hides while Dawn flirts outrageously with the policeman. Jayne is horrified to hear what Ian did. Ian explains why - that Phil is trying to force him to sell the Arches by messing with customers and suppliers. Jayne wants to go and shout at Phil. Ian calms her down, and says that won't work. He says he's fed up with the fighting and being dragged down to their level.

Phil comes to threaten Ian, saying he is losing patience and wants the Arches. Darren comes in and has a huge breakfast, and Ian asks where he got a twenty quid note, since Ian doesn't pay him in 20s. Phil quietly tells Darren that people will notice if he flashes ill-gotten cash around. When Ian comes back with Darren's food, he quizzes Darren about where he got the money, did he steal it? Darren says doing jobs, and Ian asks what jobs. Phil says Darren has been helping him out. Darren sees Demi looking at a party dress on the stall and buys it for her. Ruby also buys one for her date with Jules.

Naomi plans to move into Garry and Minty's, but When Garry tells Minty, he refuses point blank. To get Minty to agree, Naomi and Sonia pretend they intend to have a student nurse all-night party and get all their mates to come over and sleep there as Naomi sighs and says it's a shame she can't move in, but she understands Minty wouldn't want a load of giggly drunk girls around. Minty predictably changes his mind, and even offers to clean the entire place up for it. After they move all her stuff in, she tells him the party is off.

Jules and Ruby are still arguing over who gets the quiz money - Ruby keeps trying to give him half, but he says he didn't answer any of the questions. He suggests they go out for a meal together and pay for it with the winnings.

Johnny goes to the Arches to get his car, and Minty is obstructive. Johnny hassles Ian, who apologises obsequiously. Phil inspects the books, but Peggy says the Arches is nothing but hassle. Sam gets upset when Little Mo says she must be relieved to be free at last. She goes to sit in the square and Phil goes to talk to her. She says she never thought she'd miss simple things so much - like conditioner. Phil says funny, he didn't miss that. She smiles. In the Vic Sam is working normally, when she suddenly drops a tray and gets hysterical and starts crying, for no apparent reason. She whines that in prison, four years will seem like 20, and sometimes she was so scared in there she couldn't carry on and she wanted to die. Phil immediately gets the tickets out and they tell her to go on the flight tonight. Sam decides to stay and says if she skips bail she will be looking over her shoulder, and it's a life sentence.

Darren follows Phil out around and asks for work to do. He says he will wind Ian up for him, dead rat in the cafe, or whatever. Phil says he doesn't care what scam Darren did for the cash, but his mother cleans Phil's toilets for 4.50 an hour, and if he just wants to wind up the geezer who pays his wages, he has his priorities wrong.

Ian and Jayne arrive in the Vic, and hand over the keys to the Arches. Outside, Darren rushes up to Ian and asks him if he has any jobs to do - with Phil, if he wants to wind him up. Ian says he doesn't care any more about Phil, and Darren should give him a wide berth. Gus apologises to Ian, and Ian says he's "fed up with everyone round here hurting people and getting away with everything - you do wrong, you pay - I want the dog destroyed, if it's the last thing I do." Gus looks worried.

Fri 18 Nov 2005 (actually shown on the 17th due to telethon)

Johnny asks Phil about his car, and Phil is unhelpful and smug.

Phil tells Minty he has the Arches, so get to work, and keep this envelope in the safe (with the ticket and passport). Naomi gets into her room and tells them the room is so mouldy the mattress is like a Petri dish. She refuses to sleep on it and Minty says the sofa is quite comfy. She says one of them can sleep on it then. Minty says Garry can, it was his idea, then they play darts for it, and Minty wins, so Garry gets the sofa. However, when he sits down, a spring pokes through, and Minty sighs and says OK Garry can kip in his bed with him, but no rolling over and kissing him in the middle of the night.

Dawn lets Gus hide Well'ard at their house, and Gus whines pathetically that he has no friends who will take him. Dawn says he will have to let him go. Gus goes and releases Well'ard so the police won't find him, but the police tell him he is still going to be charged. Old Mo arranges a boycott of the cafe to annoy Ian and make him drop the charges. Ian is annoyed when the police tell him they can do nothing now the dog is gone.

Sam goes to the station for her bail reporting, and comes home upset and having changed her mind again, saying they are right, she has to go. She goes to get the tickets from Minty, and thanks him for everything. Johnny is there to collect his car, and as he is walking outside the Arches he hears them talk about Brazil and her new start. He turns around quickly, smirking and when Sam leaves he goes in to collect his car, and is charged twice the normal price. Then he drives up next to Phil and says one little phone call and the only place Sam will be going is back on remand. Phil rushes home and tells Sam to get away quickly. Sam says she will talk to Johnny and asks why he is always banging heads with Phil. Johnny says suits him - until her mother turned his own daughter against him. Sam says in his circles people don't like a grass, and he says Crimestoppers is anonymous. Sam says she has a very big mouth and word gets round in prison.

Ruby changes her mind about the slinky dress, and Kat help her choose something else. Kat tells her how to work it to make him pay for dinner - saying if he fancies her he will pay.

Joe comes to talk to Pauline and give her two VIP tickets to an Abba tribute show in Brighton. He has a new car too. She has to work, and Martin offers to lock up the launderette for her. Old Mo and Kat tease her about going to Brighton for a dirty weekend and she refuses to go. Joe has a problem with his car starter motor and the Arches is closed. He suggests taking the train and staying overnight. Pauline says no, and Joe says he didn't mean they would share.... but he is too late, she has gone.

Ruby arrives for her date with Jules, looking slinky, and Jules is suitably impressed. Ruby tells the joke about the nuns being mugged, which is a play on the words "your" and "you're" (so she's clearly never on the internet, since she knows the difference). Jules says he will pay for dinner and they can use the money next time.

Ian goes to the Vic and everyone has a go at him about the dog. Sam secretly gets ready to leave and tearfully hugs Peggy goodbye. Outside, Johnny says so what's that number 99.. I can never remember the last one? He says have they heard of karma, what goes around, comes around, and how much would the car repair normally cost? Phil says 150, and Sam shoves a wad of cash at him. He says sarcastically, he can't take her holiday money. She insists, and he says, OK I will just take what is owed, and counts it out. He says "see what it can be like if people act in a civilised manner, it's what sets us apart from animals." Phil glares at him. Sam leaves in her cab.

Mon 21 Nov 2005

Ruby goes to register at the local community college and gets some flirty text messages from Jules. She puts lipstick on and Johnny says he doesn't like her wearing makeup. She leaves quickly. At the stall, Kat notices her new lipstick and says she is going to get her Dad suspecting something is happening.

Old Mo is having an underwear party and sorting out her stock on the breakfast table. Charlie says it's like having breakfast in a brothel, which is particularly apt, seeing some of the underwear.

As Gus sweeps the street outside the cafe, Ian asks Gus if he has seen Well'ard, and if he does he will get the dog squad onto him. Then he tips the black bag of rubbish that he was taking out onto the street in front of Gus and smirks "oh dear, clumsy me". Ian phones the police and asks them about the dog again.

Gus goes to Charlie's shed and Well'ard is there, and Charlie says he has had complaints, the dog is howling all day. He says the dog has to be out of there by the end of the day. Gus asks around and Martin suggests someone who doesn't worry too much about the law. Gus takes him to Old Mo, which is rather strange timing since there is a party there tonight.

Johnny asks Peggy if Sam landed safely? Phil is annoyed that Johnny is so smug and Peggy tells him to keep quiet for Sam's sake.

In the cafe, Ruby comes back after lunch and flirts with Jules and confirms that they have a date tonight. Johnny comes in and asks her if she wants to see a film tonight. Ruby gets Kat to cover for her, saying she is going to the lingerie party, and every other female in the square is going too. She goes to see Jules in the cafe, and he says he agreed to work, as he wasn't going out, so she stays there and he makes her a meal and they have a quiet dinner together. She is impressed by his cooking, and Jules ask her to be his girlfriend.

Jayne tells Ian he has won, the dog is gone, he should drop it and show Gus a bit of kindness. Ian goes to talk to Gus and buys him a drink, and says he wants a word. As Ian goes to sit down, Martin expresses surprise, and Gus says he will try to appeal to Ian's better nature. Martin says he doesn't have one. Ian is smarmy, and Gus says what if Well'ard was still here and he sends him to obedience classes. Ian says well it doesn't matter, since he has gone now. Gus admits he is just over the road at the Slaters, despite Martin trying to shut him up. Ian says OK he will think about it, and leaves the table. Martin is amazed and says Gus has done the impossible.

At the lingerie party, they discuss men and them having affairs, getting all smartened up and disappearing in the daytime, and when Peggy mentions Frank going to car auctions, Yolande realises that Patrick did all that today, and looks worried. She phones Patrick who says he won't be home tonight.

At the party, the police arrive, looking for Well'ard. Jayne is shocked that he is here, and Kat delays the police a little, while they try to put the dog out the back. However, the police have come round the back too, and catch the dog and Gus is upset. Ian says that dog has made him a laughing stock for the last time.

Johnny says he has to leave the Vic just before 10pm, to be home before Ruby, but then decides to have another drink saying he can trust her, due to her good upbringing. He continues to wind Phil up about his kids being away from him, and his sister half way around the world. However, as Phil takes a bag out at the Vic, he sees Ruby leaving the cafe, and Jules kissing her goodbye. Phil laughs to himself.

Tue 22 Nov 2005

After gaining the knowledge about Ruby and Jules, Phil uses it in a very unimaginative way, immediately telling Johnny exactly what he saw - Ruby and Jules kissing. Still, it does wind Johnny up a little. Johnny is much subtler in finding out its veracity, and stupid Old Mo clumsily reveals that Ruby wasn't at the lingerie party.

Johnny summons Ruby for a chat at lunch and she looks nervous, as she has just left Jules, and she has a sneaky meeting with Jules later. Johnny confronts her and says he knows she wasn't at the Slaters, and she was seen kissing Jules in the street. He says she was deceiving him. She retorts that he was seeing Tina for ten years before he told her. Johnny tells her she is not to see him, even for a cup of tea in the cafe. She argues, and he relents, saying she has to invite him to tea tonight. She tells Jules to dress smartly.

Yolande is suspicious when Patrick returns from the car auction with a hangover saying that he spent the night on a mate's sofa. Then Old Mo hears Patrick telling Charlie he's done something terrible - but he had to have her (some over-priced or unsuitable car, obviously, but Old Mo's not clever enough to work that out). Old Mo tells Yolande that it sounded like Patrick was with another woman last night. Yolande says he wouldn't, and Old Mo tries to get her to use a friend of hers who has a "honey-trap" business, trying to tempt men to cheat on their wives, so the wife will know what he is like. Yolande goes to the car lot and sees a young blonde with a flashy car, and asks Patrick what she is doing here - saying that she doesn't need his car when she has an expensive car like that. Patrick quickly ushers her away from the car.

Billy tells Phil that Minty and Garry are slacking off work. Then he wants to see Sam, and Phil tells him Sam's gone to Rio. He's upset that she said goodbye to Minty but not him. Phil says sorry when Billy is still sulking in the Vic hours later and gives him a free drink.

Gus is back from the police station, and begs Ian to drop the case. Jayne also puts pressure on him, and he relents and says he will retract his statement and goes off to see his brief.

Martin invites Sonia to the pub, for Gus's celebration, but she says she has an essay to write. Martin says sulkily that he will tell Gus she couldn't be bothered. However, Sonia and her very annoying, interfering, horse-faced co-worker Naomi arrive later for a quick drink. Ian interrupts Gus's celebration, saying he can't withdraw his statement, as he could be fined and charged with wasting police time. Gus whines ineffectually.

Yolande gets Old Mo to call her friend and sets up the trap, saying Patrick is a black geezer with a hat. The woman arrives in the Vic and asks Martin to point him out, and he points to the stool next to his hat. The woman is very attractive, and she sits next to him and says nice hat, and picks up the business card, and says flirtily "oh you have your own business, Patrick?" Billy says "oh no", but Phil, in a helpful mood, quickly says "don't be modest Patrick" and Garry and Minty chip in and say "we fixed that car, boss, as soon as you said so". Billy is amazed and stares at her as she chats him up, and when she asks what's up, he blurts out "you're bloody gorgeous, you're one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen". She asks if there is a Mrs Trueman, and why is he wearing a wedding ring? Billy says they have been separated for a year now. She says her name is Honey and offers him her number, but only if he is sure he wants it. He jumps at the chance. She leaves. He hands Patrick back his hat and says thanks. Yolande comes in and throws a drink over Patrick, and there is a huge scene as Honey arrives back and says "he's not Patrick - he is" (pointing at Billy). Old Mo shouts at Honey, saying she is dopey, Billy isn't black, and she won't be getting paid! Yolande apologises to Patrick and he explains he bought a car that was far too expensive and he lied because he was afraid she would think he was a bad businessman. Yolande apologises.

Jules turns up for dinner and Johnny is quite pleasant to start with, but then when they open the wine, he points out that Ruby is under age and makes a big thing about her being under age. Then Johnny reminds Jules about when he was banned from the club for drug dealing for giving cocaine to a young girl. Ruby is annoyed that he kept it secret and tells Jules to leave. Then she has a go at Johnny for setting her up to ruin her relationship with Jules, and she runs out.

Thu 24 Nov 2005

Sharon and Dennis are back - and have to stay at Pauline's. They immediately start looking for a place to stay. Sharon goes into the cafe and Ian is annoyed at her for selling it to Phil instead of him. She apologises and says he wouldn't have wanted it anyway.

Ruby cries over Jules at the stall, and Kat looks after her. Johnny leaves her a message on her phone apologising. Gus asks Jules about her, and deduces that he likes her, so advises him not to give up. Ruby sees him knocking at her door from across the square, and she goes to see him and they make up, deciding that they like each other. Ruby tells Jules she wants him there when she tells her father again.

Darren lies about the new phone he has bought, saying he got it from his employer for his paper round. Keith says it'll be a few hours, so he has to go out and make himself scarce while Rosie is cooking tea. He goes to the cafe and orders a huge fry-up. Then he goes home, bored, and Rosie says he's back quickly isn't he? He say he ran all the way, and Rosie cooks him another huge fry-up.

Alfie goes round to invite the lads round to his place for poker, as it's something Nana wanted to do, and says the maximum will be a fiver. Minty agrees, but only if the maximum stakes are more than a fiver. Alfie mentions that Naomi is playing, so Garry wants to play as well. Alfie goes home and tries to explain the rules of poker to Nana.

Honey comes back to the Vic and talks to Billy who is offhand to her. She looks a bit upset, and goes over again to apologise and says she has given up the job, it was a horrible job anyway and she offers to buy him a drink to say sorry properly. They chat and get on well and Billy buys the drink since she is between jobs. Billy asks Peggy if she can give a barmaid job to Honey, and Peggy agrees.

Dennis and Sharon come in and Peggy thanks her, and Phil says to Dennis that a mate of his rents out property, he could ask him, adding that he owes them (Sharon and Dennis). Dennis looks surprised and pleased and Sharon is delighted when he comes in and says he has found a flat on the square they can have tonight. They go round and find it's a dump. Dennis says let's go. Sharon says they can tidy it up a bit, and at least it's not Pauline's. They kiss a bit.

At the poker game, Minty takes everyone's cash, as he's far better than anyone else. Then they get into a big hand with several hundred quid in the pot. Nana keeps betting, while Minty and Garry are busy trying to psyche each other out. Nana has 4 queens, but Minty has 4 kings and Garry a straight flush. Then Nana says her other card was a duff card - a joker and they all explain that she has won, as that's a wild card. Alfie can't believe her luck.

Ruby takes Jules home and they wait for Johnny. It gets late and they start kissing, and Johnny arrives home at that moment. He is furious and literally throws Jules out of the house, and forcibly grounds Ruby who shouts back in vain as he rifles through her bag to take her keys.

Fri 25 Nov 2005

Johnny and Ruby argue some more. She says it's because Jules is black that Johnny dislikes him, and she is 17 and can do what she wants - and will. Johnny acts all reasonable to Ruby, then goes to see Jules and says he realised he can't stop her seeing him, but he hasn't changed his opinion of Jules. He tells Jules not to push his luck, but come to the club for a chat tonight and tells Ruby it's to clear the air.

Dennis starts decorating, or at least tidying the new place up. He goes to the Slaters' to borrow a step ladder and Old Mo says is he sure it's not oil for his bedsprings, because the Millers have told her that he and Sharon have been putting on quite a noisy nightly performance.

Old Mo tells him to make the most of it - ask any married couple, and she tells him a story - to put a penny in a jar for every time they have sex in the first 6 months, and take one out every time afterwards, and sadly the jar will never be empty. When he goes home he tells Sharon and they giggle and put a jar aside with a few pound coins in it, and he says that he would be bankrupt if he had to put a pound in for every time they had done it since they knew each other, so they are only starting from yesterday.

The police come to ask about Sam and Phil reminds Peggy that they know nothing and to reveal absolutely nothing. Peggy is upset that she can't even phone Grant to see how Sam is.

Billy shows Honey round the pub - and she is clearly very stupid but then mentions that she was on the books of a modelling agency. Billy is keen to see her portfolio when she says carries it around everywhere with her. She warns him that some of the photos are "revealing" and Billy says (without drooling too much) that it's OK, he's an adult. She says she is looking for a new manager, so if he is in management perhaps he could manage her. They go back to Billy's and she decides not to show him the glamour photos after all. She offers to make the tea when he gets up to do so, and he is tempted to look at the ones she is hiding.

Sharon goes to Johnny's since Dennis refuses to, and he's been to every other household looking for a ladder to put up the curtains. Ruby is there and Sharon chats to her about the fact she lived there with her father, and they discuss fathers generally. Sharon suggests that Ruby let her father know that she loves him and won't do anything stupid like getting pregnant. She leaves him a note when she goes out. When he reads it, he asks who made her write that was it Jules? She says it was Sharon Rickman and she was only trying to help. Johnny angrily tells her not to discuss their business with strangers.

Martin is annoyed that Sonia is going out to the pub without him, with ugly Naomi instead. Naomi is deciding what to wear and Minty is surprisingly good at giving constructive advice about her awful outfits, without insulting her directly. Garry is annoyed that she is delighted with his comments but his are useless as he just says "that's nice". Sonia and Naomi laugh about Garry fancying her [yes it is ridiculous, but then, look at the state of his ex-wife]. Naomi is out to get plastered, and buys doubles and they both get drunk. Garry makes a move on Naomi when they get home, and she leads him on a little and lets him kiss her [luckily, he doesn't actually fall into that gaping chasm that is her huge mouth]. Then she stops him, saying that she is a good girl [and she clearly found his kissing revolting and she makes a face to herself as she escapes to her room].

Dennis returns the stepladder and Johnny has a very nasty message for Sharon to mind her own business, which infuriates Dennis. He goes home and tells Sharon and say he wanted to deck Johnny, but he also brings a bottle of wine, and she asks him suggestively if he got any pound coins in the change.

Johnny has arranged for Jules to come to the club, and he watches Jules and Ruby for a while on the CCTV, then goes out and welcomes him pleasantly, then says he wants to talk to Jules man-to-man. He tells Ruby to go to the office where he knows the CCTV is directed at them. He shakes hands with Jules, then suddenly Jules says he's hurting him. Johnny tells him to keep smiling or it will hurt a whole lot more. He says if Jules ever tries to get his grubby mitts into Ruby's knickers, he will break his legs, and he is not talking metaphorically here. Also, if Ruby gets the faintest whiff of what has been said here, Jules will be sorry. Jules is suitably intimidated, and Johnny lets him go eventually, while Ruby watches them on CCTV, thinking it's all pleasant.

Mon 28 Nov 2005

Martin isn't talking to Sonia after her drunken binge with Naomi last Friday. She can't remember what she said to Martin when she got in, but it clearly insulted him. He goes to work and Pauline nags Sonia about it. She goes to the launderette and tells Naomi that Sonia is a married woman, and can't go out with her all the time now. Sonia apologises to Martin and says she didn't mean whatever she said, she was just drunk. Martin says yes, that is the trouble, and reveals that she said she loved him and he can't remember the previous time she said it. She brings him a coffee to apologise, but then starts going on about how Naomi isn't talking to her and it must be his fault. Martin says he wished she was this upset when she fell out with him, then they wouldn't be in this mess.

Naomi starts to tell Garry "about what happened that night" but then Minty arrives and she stops. Later, Minty asks her if she and Garry are an item and she says no, she was just drunk. Minty advises her to let him down gently, since they all have to live in the same house.

Johnny tells Ruby he thought they agreed she wasn't allowed to wear make-up. Ruby says he's not the one who will be seeing her close up, she has spots. Johnny goes to tell Jules that if he goes within ten feet of Ruby, anything he eats for the rest of his life will need to be liquidized. Ruby sneaks up on him in the cafe later and he tells her he is busy so leave him alone. Ruby is upset and asks Mo when Stacey is coming home. Stacey appears almost immediately and Ruby cries that Jules is being off with her and she has been an idiot. Stacey says when he was working on the stall, he tried it on with every slapper going, and he's probably crawling with all sorts [ie of STDs]. Gus asks Ruby is she is OK and Stacey tells him it's his brother's fault. She goes to have a go at Jules and says Ruby is too good for him, her uncle Charlie has more street cred than he has. Ruby goes to the cafe and Jules asks her why Stacey thinks he dumped her. Ruby says he told her to go away, and he said he meant for an hour or so - he was busy at work. He says the thing is he likes her, but also his kneecaps, and Johnny is never going to be cool with their relationship.

Billy hires a photographer to take some more photos, and he is a completely pretentious idiot. He goes out to the market to take them and Dawn bitchily and enviously says Honey isn't anything special, just an airhead. She goes to accost the photographer asking if he'd like to take some of her. He dismisses her abruptly, saying she isn't classy enough to be a model, and she is exceptionally annoyed. She returns later and hands him her number, saying she will "do anything" to be a model. The photographer smirks and says he bets she will. Billy eventually gets fed up with the photographer touching and being over-familiar with Honey, and tells him he is fed up and the shoot is over. The photographer (who is obviously gay) says he has been in a relationship for 14 years, and hasn't so much as looked at another man let alone a girl.

Sonia goes to see Naomi who is reluctant to let her in, but Sonia whines that her marriage is falling apart, and she has no-one else to talk to. Naomi lets her in. Sonia moans that Martin flinched when she touched him like he found her physically repulsive [might be because she is]. She whines on and on and says her marriage is over, but she has no friends and is afraid to be alone. Naomi says she will be there for Sonia, and suggest counselling. Sonia asserts that Martin won't agree to it. Martin phones and Sonia ignores him. He leaves a message saying he is sorry and he loves her. Meanwhile, Naomi tells Sonia she is lovely [well, actually, although I would never have used that word, compared to horse-faced Naomi, the elephant woman is potentially slightly less repulsive] and gives her a hug, then they look at each other, and kiss [yeuk! it's worse than Dot and Jim snogging - and the most wooden and unbelievable acting I have seen since mahogany Dr Trueman tried to kiss pneumatic plastic Zoe.

Tue 29 Nov 2005

Sonia jumps up and says she must be drunk, and Naomi says she has been thinking about Sonia a lot, and Sonia says hastily that it meant nothing to her, and she leaves, telling Naomi not to read anything into it. Naomi goes to the Vic and Garry immediately chats her up, but after he buys her drink she walks out without saying a word.

Joe goes to the pub sadly after Pauline throws him out of the launderette. Dot tries to persuade Pauline to see Joe.

Garry and Minty chat about how frightening Growler Fowler is. They tell Joe about Pauline hitting Arthur over the head with a saucepan. Keith tells them the story about when Sonia's bed was delivered and Keith purloined it by conning the delivery men - how Pauline stormed upstairs and accosted him and Rosie on the new bed. Naomi goes to the launderette and whines about her secret love. Pauline tells her to deal with it in a grown up manner and take a chance - do things in life that scare you most. Naomi says "like being buried alive?" Pauline says err no.

Alfie takes Nana out to a pub, as she wants egg nog. Stupid Honey is hopeless at pulling a pint and Peggy asks him to help teach her how to do it. She offers him a job, managing the Vic again. Nana continues to chat to the men who are still having their gossip about Pauline and Alfie says he has to look after her, but she says she'll work around his responsibilities. Kat tells Alfie off for taking Nana out in the cold! Back at home, she has a strange dream and calls Alfie "William", so he calls a doctor. The doctor gives him something for Nana's backache and says she can get a nurse in to give Alfie a break from looking after an elderly relative.

Johnny cooks Ruby a special lunch and Ruby says Jules can cook. She rushes off without eating most of it, saying Jules was chatting to her and said he needed to tell her something. She goes back to the cafe as he finishes his shift, and they go to his place and kiss. She says they can't be together, it's over, because she saw Johnny's eyes when she discussed him, and he is too dangerous, and she doesn't want anything to happen to him.

Stacey is bored and sits outside eating chips. Kat comes over and says they can have a girls' night in, as she misses Zoe too.

Ruby goes home and cries and whines loudly to Johnny, who says insincerely that there will be other boys.

Martin sees Sonia and apologises, saying that whenever she wants to see Naomi she can. She snaps nastily at him, saying she doesn't need his permission. Martin is annoyed that his attempt to be nice didn't work, and he goes home and moans to Pauline, who says in marriage you have to take the rough with the smooth. Meanwhile, Naomi goes to apologise to Sonia, who says Naomi should have told her about "you know". Sonia says nastily that Naomi saw she was having a difficult time in her marriage and jumped her, and she is sorry, she isn't "like that". Back at Garry's, he is making a romantic meal for Naomi and offers her a glass of wine, and says her meal will be 20 minutes.

Sonia goes home and tells Martin that she has been an idiot, and wants to make it up to him and takes him upstairs (yeuk!). Pauline is alone and looking bored when Joe arrives outside, slightly drunk from his day at the pub, and sings at her. They have a chat outside, about their own youth and she says she can't invite him in, because of Martin and Sonia (making a bit of noise upstairs!). But they go to the launderette and Pauline gets fish and chips while he fixes the washing machine he broke earlier and they have a flirtatious chat and eat the chips together, and he lights some candles.

Naomi is impressed by the huge effort Garry has gone to, cooking a full meal and getting candles, etc, for this evening. She says he is such a sweet guy and he never messes her about, and she is looking really rough, but Garry obviously had too much wine and actually kisses her ugly mug. Naomi jumps Garry and drags him to her bedroom, while Garry says rather nervously that they can take it slower, he doesn't mind, but she keeps on dragging him to the bed. Then she changes her mind and says it's not right and throws him out of her room. Garry looks confused, not surprisingly.

Thu 1 Dec 2005

The Fowlers house gets a bunch of flowers delivered, and Sonia goes to accuse Naomi of sending them. Naomi says she doesn't reward a slap in the face with flowers. Later Pauline tells Sonia that Joe admitted the anonymous flowers were from him.

Naomi asks Minty how Garry is, and Minty says not good, and it's not surprising, if she knew she wasn't interested, why did she lead him on? It isn't nice to stamp all over people's feelings, when they really like you. Naomi has a few tears (real or acted, not really sure). She goes to apologise to Garry, who is upset, but then when she says she has "stuff going on" he rather kindly offers to help. Naomi talks to Sonia later, and says she never even knew she was gay until yesterday.

Minty goes around inviting people to his birthday party. He asks Billy (rather desperately) if Honey has any mates. He goes to see Garry who raves about how special Naomi was, and he hasn't felt like this since Lynne. Minty is so desperate for a woman that he calls Honey's employer and sets up a Honey trap for himself!

The scum family argue tediously again, drab mother vs tarty daughter. Then Darren takes his girlfriend "Kylie" home. She is a spoilt rich brat, and when she is introduced to Dawn she says that Darren told her she was a model. Dawn says she will be, and Kylie says "when you've lost a few pounds" (haha priceless!). Darren gives her presents and Kylie snubs them, saying they are some market tat, and she isn't that cheap. At dinner, she says people round here are slobs, and she is rude and snappy. Dawn admonishes her to be polite to her hosts. Keith and Dawn actually agree on this.

Pauline gossips to Dot, who says that Pat told her Dennis hasn't been to the bookies for a week. One snippet of gossip leads to a huge fuss, and they go to the Vic and announce that Sharon and Dennis are missing. Pauline, Mo, and Dot break into the flat, thinking some disaster has befallen Sharon and Dennis there, and the place is a real mess. Dot goes to fetch Martin in case there is something nasty lurking, however Mo and Pauline hear a noise and they go into the bedroom, where Dennis is - naked. He jumps up grabbing the duvet in a rather hilarious panic [so he's happy to face a gun or a beating from a gang of heavies, but not to be seen naked by two ancient old dears]. Sharon arrives at the doorway and laughs at the strange situation. Dennis doesn't and asks them to leave!

Kat sees Alfie talking to the pretty woman doctor several times, and when she goes to the Vic (with her husband), Kat goes over to say she is Alfie's wife. She tells the doctor that she's a slapper and Alfie is looking tired recently, and does Alfie know about this bloke? The doctor's husband realises the misconception and asks if Kat knows who this is. The doctor explains she's Nana Moon's doctor, and Kat goes to find Alfie to ask him why he didn't tell her. Alfie whines that Nana has so many things she wants him to organise, and he is running out of time. Kat says she will help.

In the Vic, Minty, Garry and Martin discuss Naomi, and all the pieces fall into place. Minty says Naomi told him that she was really upset because she fell for someone who was married and was sorting it out yesterday. Garry says that explains why she was emotional when she arrived home, it wasn't over him, and Martin says but she had been with Sonia all day. Minty and Garry immediately deduce that Sonia was just covering for her, they have been spending a lot of time together recently. Martin, however, comes to the correct conclusion, that Sonia is the married person she fancies. He goes over to confront them, just as Sonia and Naomi are agreeing that they are friends again and have dismissed the kiss as a glitch, and hug. Martin tells Naomi to take her hands off his wife, and asks if they are sleeping together. Sonia says quickly, "no, it was just a kiss", so quickly that she hasn't noticed that everyone in the Vic has gone quiet as Martin made his accusation.

Fri 2 Dec 2005

Dot tells Pauline the gossip about Naomi kissing Sonia, and Pauline isn't pleased. Martin has a go at Naomi, who blames him for his failing marriage, saying Sonia was already fed up with him before she interfered. She says he is dull, selfish and braindead. Sonia disagrees (somewhat surprisingly since that is exactly what she has implied in the past).

Garry is still upset about Naomi leading him on, and she decides to move out. Minty is a bit put out when he hears this from Garry.

Alfie goes mad at Kat when she nags him about his attempts to get Nana's tea with the queen. He is desperate to get it arranged, but Nana tells Kat she only agreed with Alfie, and isn't really bothered. So, she says she feels too ill to go. However, Kat tells her she has to get ready anyway, and takes them off to Madame Tussauds and they have tea with a wax effigy of the queen instead.

Jake comes back and looks under the stairs for his holdall full of cash which was Chrissie's bail money, but as we noticed before, it was thrown out in Nana's tidy-up. Jake is horrified when Alfie says they threw it out.

Sonia and Martin argue about her sexuality, and Sonia decides to go to Minty's party without Martin. He sees Naomi later, and she starts to have another go, and tells him to stop being a childish spoilt brat, and he should try harder. She tells him to earn Sonia's love. He is a pathetic dolt, as usual. Naomi drags him to the Vic to talk to Sonia.

Ruby lies to Johnny that Jules won't be there, and Stacey helps her persuade him, with her excellent lying skills. Once there, Ruby sneaks off to the toilets with him, because Jules wants to take their relationship a stage further [In the Vic toilets? How classy!]. Ruby says no, not here. Stacey is similarly unimpressed at how vile and sleazy Jules is.

Minty's party is the usual Vic party - mostly disasters. Peggy presents him with a yard of ale, which he downs, messily. Gus is drunk and slags Ian off and everyone calls Ian a dog-killer. Minty's honeytrap girl arrives and it seems to be going well, but then Honey, who is falling-down drunk, shouts her mouth off about her being a honey trap girl. Minty抯 girl guesses the truth about Minty and storms off. Billy invites Honey to stay at his (Pat's) place, and he takes her outside where she staggers around and vomits in the gutter. Billy puts her on the sofa and gives her a chaste kiss, goodnight, and she is obviously disappointed.

Billy thanks Pat, who then opens her mail and has a letter telling her she's a witness for the prosecution at Janine's trial.

Mon 5 Dec 2005

Jake visits Chrissie in prison, acting rather distressed, and he asks her to marry him, before telling her he lost the bail money. She retracts her agreement to marry him and starts shouting at him. Jake looks desperately upset. Chrissie is silent in her cell, but her cellmate tells her to get organised and plan for a few years - get a good prison job and make the most of it, rather than whining about being innocent.

Stacey goes to see her mother, Jean, who is annoying the neighbours. The house is a hovel and her mother is completely batty and keeps telling Stacey she is fat, while refusing to eat anything herself and also saying she was taken off her medication, because the doctor said it was normal to be depressed after her daughter had walked out and left her. She babbles about her husband and keeping thin to attract men. When Stacey leaves in frustration and in tears, Jean shouts after her that she found the medication, in her pocket. Stacey sighs and goes back in.

Pat goes to court for her witness call-up. There, she meets Old Mo, who is a character witness for some old whore she and Pat both know, who is up on a charge relating to prostitution or whatever. Pat is looking worried and, rather strangely, she tells Old Mo the whole story - that she is a witness stating that she never saw Janine leave Laura's, and Janine will go down for murder, and it's not true - apart from the bit about Janine actually being a murderer, since she killed Barry. Pat knows she faces 4 years in prison for perjury if she is found out lying about Janine's whereabouts. Old Mo mumbles a bit of support, saying that whatever she says won't bring back any dead people. Pat mentions both Janine and Barry were horrible children when she was their step-mother, but she wants to punish Janine for Jack's sake. She clearly makes a decision, because she stomps off to the court looking quite determined. As she waits, she hears a familiar voice saying "Hello babe" [and let's face it only one person would call Pat a babe!]. It's Frank there, presumably for Janine. Pat's resolve no longer looks as solid.

Tue 6 Dec 2005

Pat asks Frank what he's doing here, and he says sarcastically his daughter is here on trial for murder. He says the trial's been postponed until tomorrow. He begs Pat to ask Janine to see him, because she has refused. Pat is confused and says she hasn't seen Janine herself. Frank says he is out of his mind with worry, and he needs someone to tell him what is going on.

Pat tells Frank that she isn't here to help Janine, she is here for the prosecution, because Janine said she was with Pat at the time of the murder and.. she wasn't. Pat says Janine had a fight with Laura, and Laura died of a broken neck. Frank says it was a mistake, Janine wouldn't have killed someone in cold blood. Pat says someone died, a young mother who should be looking after her child, "it was a mistake" doesn't cover it.

Frank believes Pat, and lays it on really thick � saying that if Pat says it's true, it must be so - they have known each other for 50 years. Pat looks guilty, and agrees to stay with Frank for a drink.

She tries to talk to him, and says she doesn抰 think it's such a good idea for him to see Janine as they haven't seen each other for years. Pat also tells Frank that Janine was married to Barry, who died on his honeymoon. She also mentions that Roy died. Frank takes her back to his room and chats her up a bit. She says she ran after his car when he left, but just missed him. He says he still loves her and always will. Pat gets emotional, and says she has had too much to drink. She says she has to leave, because if she doesn't she knows what will happen. Frank says let it happen: how many more chances will they get - please stay. She changes her mind and gives him a hug.

Stacey forces her mother to take the pills, and treats her like a child, checking that she has hidden the pill under her tongue, and making her swallow it. She also tells her mother she isn't allowed to drink with these pills, and tidies up hundreds of empty beer bottles and cans. She goes to get shopping and Old Mo arrives while she has gone. Old Mo tells Stacey that her mother should be in hospital. Stacey says she needs to calm her mother down, and knows what she is doing, but can't do it when Old Mo is here. Old Mo gives her money and leaves, saying if Stacey needs anything she's just a phone call away. Stacey reads a huge pile of bills in despair. Then she baths her mother, who is clearly completely bonkers and needs to be locked up. She whines that she is lost since Stacey's father died, and will it never end.

Chrissie's bail is set at 25k, and she tells the lawyer that the money has gone, Mr Moon hid it at his house, and one minute it was there, the next it was gone. She wants every single grubby whore he cheated on her with on the stand. She says Sharon is her star witness; she wants her to testify to what Den did to Angie when he hit her, and the mental abuse, and she adds maliciously that she will make Sharon so sorry she didn't let her get on that plane. When the lawyer leaves, Jake follows him and asks what happened. He replies sarcastically that it was granted and for future reference, large sums of money are better off in a bank. Jake calls him a patronising git. He goes to a club looking mean and moody, and is chatted up by a girl.

Thu 8 Dec 2005

It's morning and Frank wakes up and orders room service breakfast for two. Pat gets in the shower (we don't see this, fortunately). Pat and Frank have an awkward conversation - he says she can't give evidence because it's a lie. Pat is horrified to realise that he knows the truth and he admits he has been seeing Janine for weeks, and she told him everything. Pat is furious that he concealed everything he knew, and she slept with him because she felt sorry for him. He drones on about Janine being a poor innocent girl, and scared and he wants to be a proper father. He keeps on about Janine being innocent. Pat finally shouts that Janine killed Barry. Frank says Janine said that Pat would say that. Pat says Janie told her in cold detail exactly how she stood over Barry and let him die. Pat says OK Janine was with her at the time Laura died, but she was busy gloating about how she'd done for Barry.

Jake wakes up and the girl from the club is next to him. He leaves quickly, but later realises he has left his phone so has to go back. He searches her flat while she says he's a bastard, men are all the same, and he doesn't even know her name - the name is Fern, and thanks for the sex, Jake. Jake says thanks for the sex Fern, and adds that he is actually one of the OK blokes.

Chrissie is in prison fishing a hair out of her porridge. She calls Jake to apologise, saying she knows he didn't take the money - or he could have gone anywhere - but he came to see her. She continues her message saying that she wants to see him and she has a plan - to make Sharon testify, and she hopes he will come back. She does her washing, and when she goes back to get it, it's been stolen. Chrissie is upset and shouts at a warder that her clothes have been stolen. The warder is offhand and says missing laundry isn't exactly a big deal, and there is a clothes pool, so they can lend her something to wear. She sobs on her bed, and her cellmate tentatively puts her hand on Chrissie's shoulder, and Chrissie whips her hand out and backhands her face, leaving a huge scratch across her face from her rings. The warder takes the girl away, and Chrissie sobs more, and says she's sorry, but she shouldn't have touched her.

Stacey organises her nutty mother's move to her new flat. Her mother panics about the move. She goes to a local cafe and sees an old mate, who is pregnant, and Stacey calls her Vicky Pollard. The girl, Abby, calls her mother a retard and says Jean is the estate bike - she went down the pub and stripped off, and started begging men to tell her she's beautiful and has kept her figure. Stacey goes home upset and cries.

Frank tries emotional blackmail - saying that Laura's family think she was killed, and it's unfair on her child. He insists that Pat is going to tell people that she got it wrong. Pat is furious at his patronising tone, and says he has no right to tell her what to do. She rushes off to court, and Frank shouts after her saying he loves her. Frank says that if Pat lies in court, he will get up and tell them that she admitted that it was a lie, and even though she will go to prison for perjury, he will do it, but please don't make him.

Fri 9 Dec 2005

Laura's mother talks to Pat saying she needs to know the truth, and Pat decides not to testify.

Jake goes to see Chrissie, who has suddenly given up and decided to plead guilty after all. She tells him that their relationship is doomed - he can't promise to stay faithful for 10 years, and she wouldn't ask that of him. He goes back to the square and throws the engagement ring up in the air.

Pat goes to tell the prosecution barrister that she can't be sure about her statement and therefore doesn't want to be called to give evidence. He's understandably irritated, and the court ends up dismissing the case. Pat leaves, telling Frank that he doesn't know Janine, and she has been playing him all along. He refuses to believe her and waits at court to meet Janine when she is released. Late in the day, he sees her lawyer leave and asks where she is, and he is told she left ages ago.

Stacey tries to sort out her mother again, and leaves her to get the key to her new flat. Her mad mother gets dressed up strangely and ridiculously, and goes out. A few kids throw beer bottles at her, but she carries on tottering about on some ridiculously high heels in a tarty outfit. A bit later, Stacey gets home to find the place surrounded by police, and apparently her mother tried to commit suicide, and, unfortunately for us, she failed, so Stacey goes to visit her in the loony bin/hospital. Stacey cries a bit over a photo of her with her parents and brother Sean, then Old Mo fetches her and she goes back to the Slaters' house.

Mon 12 Dec 2005

Ruby has decided to have sex with Jules and tells Stacey, who asks if she is really ready, since she's obviously a virgin. Ruby is suspiciously good at home, and Johnny asks her why she is so keen to finish her homework early tonight - and she knows he is at the club all night, doesn't she? She says (hopelessly transparently) that she had forgotten, but Stacey is coming over to watch a DVD. Johnny says he will be calling to check on her at some time during the evening: could be any time, and will be back early too.

Stacey warns Jules to be careful with Ruby, hint, hint. He suddenly gets cold feet and tells Gus that he's nervous about being Ruby's first. However, when she arrives, she tells him she is keen, but wants to be careful, and she rummages in her bag for a condom that Stacey bought for her earlier. Jules produces one too, thus proving what a caring bloke he is(!)

As they get down to it, the phone rings, and it's Stacey, holding the home phone up to her mobile so Ruby can have a distant conversation with Johnny. He is suspicious about the poor line. When he gets back, he sees Ruby was wearing make-up and reminds her of his nasty threat from earlier - that whatever she does he will find out, sooner or later, she can never hide anything.

Pauline tells Yolande about the twins' birthday party, moaning about having to buy two cards and presents for them. Yolande asks if she is inviting Joe to the party when he walks in and says hello. She says it's family only, and that would be Ian's prerogative anyhow. When she talks about it later in the launderette, Old Mo interferes in the conversation, saying Pauline is a fool to let Joe slip by, and pass him over to her if she's not interested.

Billy, Minty and Garry chat about Honey - Billy explains his actions when she was drink and they think he has blown it because he didn't show any interest in her. He is embarrassed when he meets her, and she thinks he still isn't interested. In the bar, she chats about the mystery bloke she fancies and Little Mo and Alfie tell her to send a text message. Meanwhile, Billy has left his phone on the table next to Minty and Garry, and they pick it up and read the message. Minty and Garry take the phone back to the Arches and continue the text conversation, making it saucy, while in the Vic, Honey is at first pleased to get a reply, then worried about what to send back. Alfie takes the phone and sends something very suggestive back. Minty and Garry comment on how sad they are getting vicarious sexual thrills from another bloke's girl - especially considering it's Billy. They give him back the phone, telling him that "someone" sent the texts, but mentioning that they know Honey does fancy him.

Pauline meets Joe and they have a drink together. However, afterwards, he mentions that he will have to leave his car parked near her house and get a cab home, as he has had a couple of drinks. She won't let him hold her hand even after they are alone in the square, in case anyone sees them. She also refuses to let him come in to wait for his taxi, despite several attempts with the excuses that he wants to make the phone call and that he could do with a coffee. Eventually, his taxi arrives, after she has waited outside to chat to him for a while. As he is leaving, he asks if he is wasting his time with her, and says that he needs her to let him know if he is. She says no with a rather enigmatic smile, which would probably work better if she actually looked a tenth as attractive as the Mona Lisa.

Tue 13 Dec 2005

Johnny talks threateningly to Ruby, trying to catch her out about last night. She is annoyed and tells him to stop it. She goes out to gossip to Stacey and Sonia about how the sex was. He searches her bedroom for evidence while she is out. Amy arrives, and asks Johnny why he is holding a set of hair straighteners. She follows him and says that she will have to tidy this up, before his daughter finds out what he has been doing. She says her father was exactly like this, and it didn't do any good at all - he has to let her go.

Peggy opens the Vic and tells first Jim, then Alfie, to put up some Xmas lights. Alfie gets a call from Nana about 2 minutes after he has started work. Kat comes over and asks Alfie about Nana and tells him to stop worrying about her. Kat takes Nana shopping for her outfit for the races.

The scum kids argue, and the silly little teenage mother plays truant from school, and Sonia catches her and just chats to her, saying that she had a boyfriend who died too, and missed Jamie just like Demi does. They go to a cemetery and chat some more.

Keith asks Darren where he is getting all the money, and Darren lies that he got it from his rich brat girlfriend. Keith calls him a gigolo and Darren is confused by the word but agrees that he is.

Jules chats to Gus, saying he shouldn't have let it go this far, and he ignores Ruby's calls. In the cafe, Ruby gets hysterical about him not calling and says she wasn't good enough. She runs past Phil and Peggy in tears. Phil makes a mental note. Gus sees her in the cafe, and she is upset when he quickly ducks out. He goes home and tells Jules that she was really hurt. Gus gets a warrant for the dog crime.

Amy flirts with Johnny, and after they have sex, he says she looks cheap. He adds that some women would take offence. Amy says she knows what this is, she has been around the block, and knows the difference between a man who wants to hold her hand and one who just wants to... Johnny stops her. Amy adds that it's just convenient - it suits her, and it suits him, doesn't it? Johnny goes looking for Ruby, ending up outside Gus's flat. Gus and Jules look worried and keep quiet, and Gus says it looks like Ruby isn't the only one who will be hurt! They go to the Vic and Jules looks for Phil, who is not surprised to see him, and they have a business-like conversation out the back. Johnny walks in and threatens Gus. Peggy interrupts and tells Johnny to leave. She calls for Phil to persuade Johnny to leave. They stare at each other nastily and Alfie quickly starts some cheerful banter, saying that why don't they all have a drink to celebrate Alfie's first day back. Johnny says he will have an orange juice, and Phil tells Alfie to get it. Peggy is annoyed that Phil has let Johnny go. Phil says he knows how to get back at him where it hurts. Jules sneaks out the back and meets Ruby, who whines that she really loves him. They kiss again. Johnny arrives home to a messy flat and Johnny grabs Juley by the throat and picks up the condom wrapper on the table. He looks stunned and Jules quickly says it's not what he thinks. Johnny walks out, and Jules immediately goes to meet Phil at the back of the Vic, saying it's all going wrong, now Ruby says she loves him. Phil laughs and says it sounds like it's all going exactly to plan.

Thu 15 Dec 2005

Phil is looking cheerful, and he wanders quietly into Scarlet's. He sneaks up on Johnny sitting morosely in the club, looking dishevelled.

Ruby is frightened and worried about Juley and her father, neither of whom can be found this morning, and she decides to go to find out what has happened. She meets her father in the club and when he won't say anything about Jules, she admits that she slept with him and says she loves him. Johnny is sarcastic and very cutting about Ruby's childish "love" and calls her a stupid little girl and he throws furniture about in the club. He says yesterday she was his perfect little girl. He says she lied and disrespected him, and that he said Jules would hurt her, and he has. Ruby replies that Johnny is hurting her. She says that she loves him, but he has to let her grow up, but if he is all bitter and twisted, she will walk away for good.

Martin arranges with Pauline to look after the stall later, so he can take Sonia for a drink when she gets her nurse exam results. Pauline says at least he will get his wife back now that she has finished her exams. He is cheerful. However, when Sonia returns, she says she is thinking of doing an extra course for another two years, Martin is furious. Sonia shouts at him and says she is off to celebrate and he isn't invited.

Billy and Honey chat and discover that neither of them sent the embarrassing text messages. Billy asks her out on a dinner date and Honey says innocently "I can't wait to see what you're going to cook". Billy looks horrified. He asks Peggy to teach him to cook, by tonight. Phil hints that Billy is always here, and he must fancy a barmaid. Little Mo gets the wrong idea and assumes it is her. Honey still won't say who her mystery boyfriend is, but says she has a date tonight.

Dennis sees Stacey in the cafe alone and chats to her, saying it's tough when your mate gets a girlfriend, but if she needs a mate, he could stand her for a few minutes. He asks if Jules is her type, and she says no, and he remembers that she likes them fit, with a hint of danger (ie him). She grins and pokes him in the stomach and says he's getting fat - Sharon is cooking him too many meals. He laughs and then Stacey gets a text from Ruby asking to go shopping and looks a bit guilty and Dennis grins and tells her to go.

Jules tells Phil that it's gone too far, he was up for winding up Johnny. Phil comments on his expensive new watch. Jules says hmm. He says she's 17, and she is telling him she loves him, and she doesn't want to ruin Ruby's life. Phil says nahh, "'cos if Johnny had a gripe with me, he wouldn't start on my family - would he?" Jules recognises the sarcasm. Phil tells him to run his hand up her thigh and tell her he loves her, and gives him 30 quid.

Back at her house, Jules and Ruby talk. She asks him what Johnny did, and says her conversation about her virginity went quite well, considering. Jules says that when you're young, these things seem extra special. Johnny walks in and sheepishly offers to take them all for a drink. Jules offers to buy the drinks when they walk into the Vic and Phil rushes to serve them, and gives Jules a few quid extra in the change. Phil whispers to Jules that when you sell your soul, you don't get to buy it back. Jules starts to argue and Johnny comes over and there is a suspicious conversation. Phil forces Jules to tell Ruby now. He whispers in her ear, and Johnny looks furious. As Jules and Ruby leave, Jim says that you don't often see a black bloke with a white girl, but he supposes it's a different world nowadays. Johnny overhears, and is fuming. Peggy comments to Phil that Johnny is looking like a shell of a man! Ruby and Jules go home and Ruby takes off her coat and is lying seductively on her bed, wearing some slinky black clothes, and calls Jules in. He says he can't do it here, among the pink teddy bears. Ruby looks embarrassed at her babyish bedroom.

Back at the Vic, Jim has a long discussion with Sonia and Naomi about black blokes and white girls. Sonia says he is racist, and raises all the grief he gave her mum about Alan. He says Alan turned out to be a good man but no-one would have been good enough for his little girl. Johnny looks furious as he overhears all this. Then Stacey walks in and he goes over to tell her off about dressing Ruby up like a whore - like her. Dennis steps in to protect Stacey. Johnny says "or else what?" Dennis steps up menacingly and says he'll make Johnny feel even smaller than he already does. Johnny backs off and Phil grins and tells Johnny to go home.

Billy worriedly cooks a casserole, with Peggy's help at the Vic. Peggy reassures him that the meal will be lovely. However, when he goes back to the kitchen, two minutes before three alarms go off, he finds Phil already eating his food! He goes back to Pat's and cooks again, but spills tomato all over his best (but quite revolting) shirt. Honey arrives and they bond well about both being completely clumsy and useless. Billy tells her he is a loser and to runs for the hills before it's too late, and she responds by kissing him, which he certainly seems to enjoy, and I think dinner is forgotten.

Darren shows Demi his stash of cash, and offers her some as she is looking at gravestones but they are all too expensive for her. He says he found it in a bin, and she can have all she wants, because money isn't making him happy (his rich bitch girlfriend just dumped him for being too young to buy alcohol for her).

Pauline gets a visit from Margaret, asking Sonia and Martin to look after Rebecca, as she is getting to be too much for her. Pauline looks nervous and worried.

Johnny goes home and hears Juley and Ruby shagging in his bedroom, so he waits outside the house with a large pair of kitchen scissors, and when Jules leaves, bundles him into the square. Stacey happens to see this as she is leaving the Vic, and she runs back to tell Dennis. Johnny is getting threatening and challenges Jules to fight, but Dennis appears and calls Johnny's bluff. He takes the scissors off him just as Ruby appears, luckily, since she starts efficiently searching her father's pockets for a gun then she drags Jules away. Dennis walks off and throws the scissors away and says to Phil (who was watching from a distance) that Johnny has lost it.

Fri 16 Dec 2005

Nana asks Alfie for dates, tinsel and a dancing snowman for Xmas and says that Danny and Spencer and Jake will all be here for Xmas. Alfie panics and tries to get hold of Spencer in Australia. Nana has a private word with Kat, asking her to look after a letter of her last wishes. Kat is emotional.

At the Fowlers' house, Pauline suggests putting up Xmas decorations. Scrooge Sonia says there is no point without children. Martin says they could put up some decorations it will be fun, and, for no apparent reason, Sonia shrieks loudly at Martin that he obviously married the wrong woman.

Pauline discusses with Joe about inviting Rebecca here. He asks if they are all strong enough to say goodbye to her again afterwards. Pauline asks Margaret to meet her and tells her she can't look after Rebecca just when she says, she.

Alfie is at home and Jake arrives, out of the blue, and says he's only there to pick up a few things. Alfie starts berating him for always spending too much time on stray dogs and lost causes, like Chrissie and Danny, and not caring enough about people who care about him like Nana. Jake starts sniping back about Alfie always being the blue-eyed boy who charms people and avoids the blame for anything, and says it was very hard bringing up Danny. They start to fight a little, until Nana arrives and tells them off like kids, then she instructs them to go and buy a Xmas tree. They obediently do so. They apologise to each other and Jake says he will make it up to Nana, there will be plenty of time later, and Alfie almost tells Jake about it being Nana's last Xmas, but they get distracted. Jake goes to get mince pies and finds a dancing snowman. They have a Xmas evening of entertainment and play charades. Then Jake leaves, and says he will be back for Xmas. Nana is a bit tearful, and Alfie says it's been a lovely day hasn't it? Nana says it's the best Xmas ever, and asks Alfie to play the snowman again. When he looks around she has died. Alfie shakes her a bit and says "not yet" and snivels a bit.

Mon 19 Dec 2005

Pauline gets a card from Michelle and Martin says it's a shame she isn't coming over. She says they need a tree and all the decorations, "in case someone pops in".

Sonia had arranged a Xmas meal for her colleagues and it's fallen through, so she whines at Martin, who is expected to fix something. He suggests the local Indian and they arrange an early meal before going to the club. Martin had forgotten, and then Sonia goes out to buy a new dress for herself. Naomi invites Garry to come as well, and Martin reminds him that she's not interested in men.

Phil taunts Johnny as they both watch Ruby cuddling up to Jules. Then she tells her father that she is going out "with some girls" tonight. He obviously doesn't believe her. Phil gives Jules a wad of cash and tells him to take her to Scarlet's. When she comes in, Phil says Jules was just saying he wanted Ruby round at his for Xmas dinner. Jules looks horrified, but Ruby is pleased. Later, he backpedals and Ruby says she will sort out her father, not to worry. Johnny tells Ruby what he has planned for Xmas Day and she asks to change it as she is invited elsewhere. He looks annoyed and is even more so when she explains it's with Jules.

Peggy tells Honey that Billy is actually still married to Little Mo, and she is horrified. He is tongue-tied whenever he speaks to her. He gets them a job - as Santa and an elf, and says he thought it best to keep it strictly work. She looks disappointed.

Kat tells Peggy that she has been calling and knocking at Alfie's and there is no answer. She eventually breaks in the back door. Alfie greets her and she says he looks terrible, and what about Nana. [Alfie doesn't reply "she's starting to smell a bit now".] Alfie's mournful look makes her question him at length about exactly what happened to her. He drones on a bit and tells Kat that the hardest thing is knowing he will never see her again. Kat chatters on and tries to finish Nana's Xmas cake, but she has no clue how to stick the marzipan on, and suggests glue. They go to Nana's room to find her last wishes letter, and Alfie puts a necklace on Kat. They find a letter, and Alfie reads it - it's a bet for him to place, and he realises she knew she wouldn't make it.

Ruby goes to see Jules and has dinner, with Gus there too. He makes his excuses and leaves. Ruby jumps on Jules, who tries, unsuccessfully, to cool it off. Afterwards, Ruby is horrified to discover that the condom has broken.

Sonia and Martin go to the Xmas dinner, and a girl flirts with Garry. A bloke tells Martin he can do what he likes as his own boss - why not take the day off tomorrow. He asks how long they have been married, and says Martin has an attitude problem, and as soon as Sonia sees a nice doctor, she'll be off. Martin attacks him, and Sonia shouts at him, so he shouts back and leaves. She refuses to leave with him.

Tue 20 Dec 2005

Sonia is annoyed with Martin, who disappeared after the argument, and hasn't been seen since. She says to Naomi that she doesn't care where he is and doesn't want him anywhere near her. Martin is at Gus's, where Jules is the only one up and he wakes up Gus with his shouting. Gus says perhaps he should be there talking to her. Sonia continues shouting her mouth off to Naomi about her horrible marriage, and how Martin is stuck here, and she wants to move on. Martin whines on to Gus that he doesn't even recognise Sonia any more, and she only talks to Naomi - why doesn't she talk to him. Gus says sensibly that maybe Sonia wants to do things that he doesn't, and he doesn't listen to her enough, but if he carries on like this, his marriage will be over. Martin says Sonia doesn't seem to care if it is. Naomi gets a phone call from the bloke who wound up Martin and tells Sonia that maybe they got the wrong end of the stick about Martin's outburst. They go to talk to Martin. Sonia says "I think I might owe you an apology". Martin says how long has it taken her to work that out? She is his wife, she was supposed to side with him automatically, not everyone else. Sonia shouts at him again, saying that he is just jealous that she wants more than just this and he doesn't like her not being his little wife. Martin says she is never here. She says perhaps he should come with her, and he says "like last night?" They shout a bit more and end up with Martin saying if she wants to leave, fine, just pack and go. Sonia goes to the Vic to drink with Naomi and tells her that she thinks Martin wants a divorce, and he is right, marriage shouldn't be such hard work. She goes home to tell Martin she has made a decision, but he is delighted to see her and rushes to hug her. She looks miserable.

Jake arrives at Alfie's, unaware, and Alfie has to break the news. Jake is upset that Alfie didn't tell him she was ill. He says he didn't tell anyone, and Jake says he isn't just anyone. He offers to help. The undertaker arrives and explains that Nana was extremely thorough and gave them detailed instructions.

Stacey finds Ruby in the cafe and asks why she is so miserable, the sex can't have been that bad. Ruby explains, and Stacey says they have to get to an all-night chemist to get the morning after pill. Ruby is reluctant, and Stacey says there is an alternative, perhaps you want to prove how much you love him by having his baby? Jules comes in and Stacey asks him for money to go to the chemist. He hands over a few quid, which doesn't impress Stacey much. They go to Stacey's house and sort the pills out. Ruby says what about the side effects, and Stacey says she should think about the side effects of not taking it, in 9 months time. Meanwhile, Phil asks if the date went OK last night, and when he says yes, Phil hands over a few tenners and says take her out again tonight.

Ruby goes home in the morning, and Johnny says he is her to check that she is OK after last night. He goes to the cafe and asks Jules what he did last night, and Jules lies that he stayed in. Gus asks Johnny if he has any work going and Johnny at first suspects he is joking, but Gus's dumb sincerity is clear and Johnny says OK, come to the club.

Alfie, Jake and Kat go out into the square and the Slaters come over to ask what happened. Kat explains. Alfie apologises to Peggy for missing his shift, and she says it's OK, take as much time as he needs. Peggy offers the Vic and Jayne comes to tell him that she and Ian will do the food for him, and it's on them. Alfie is very thankful for everyone's generosity.

Honey is worried about Little Mo finding out about her and Billy, and he says it'll be OK. He is being teased by Minty and Garry and he finally says loudly, OK, Honey and me, we are a couple. Little Mo walks in, and she is upset at the news, because she had just decided to ask Billy to theirs for Xmas.

Phil tells Johnny that he is surprised that Johnny gives Ruby such free rein, and ask her where she was last night. Gus arrives to ask for that job, and Johnny crossly says the job has gone, blame your brother.

He goes home, where Ruby is in her dressing gown asleep on the sofa. Her phone rings, and he rummages in her handbag to stop it, dropping everything in the process, including the pill box. She wakes up and asks what he is doing, and he accuses her of lying and says he knows she was with Jules all night, and what are these pills: he is disappointed in her.

Thu 22 Dec 2005

Martin tries to patch it up with Sonia, who rejects his attempts to please her with a special breakfast, making the derisory excuse that there's a funeral today [of someone she never knew and had practically never met]. Martin blames the interfering little bitch Naomi [in fact he says exactly what I was thinking].

Alfie is sitting moping when Kat finds him. He manages to sort himself out to attend the funeral. Nana's funeral goes off quite well, with Alfie reading out a long and rather dull eulogy. Even Dennis and Sharon attend the crematorium [and have either of them ever spoken to her? Still it'll be good practice for the Xmas cull.]

Dawn tries to chat up Jake, and says they can go somewhere afterwards, but he is miserable and he sneakily leaves her in the Vic and makes a quick escape from her claws to visit Nana's grave.

Gus decides to try to see Well'ard and he needs 300 quid to get him from the dog pound. He is a bit clueless about how to get the money.

Jules and Johnny have another couple of altercations, and Ruby sees one of them. Dennis interrupts, insulting and patronising Johnny for his childish antics.

Sonia tells Martin that Alfie's speech (about Nana having no regrets) made her think and she realised she doesn't know what she wants, so she is moving out until she has decided. Martin has no comeback and just stands around looking dopey.

Fri 23 Dec 2005

While Pauline is nagging, Martin tells her that Sonia has moved out. Joe makes a quick exit from Pauline's, as she has just asked him to get some sugared almonds. Meanwhile, Sonia tells Jayne in the cafe, and Jayne asks if she is sure she made the right decision.

Peggy gets Minty and Garry to help her fix the electrics, and they whinge at her nagging and moaning.

Jules thanks Dennis for his help with Johnny, and mentions Ruby has moved in with him. Ruby chats to Stacey and wonders what she will tell her father. She says she is angry with Johnny's actions towards Juley, and he has no respect for him. Johnny says if she had any respect for herself she wouldn't be shacked up with a half-wit plate-scrubber [too true!]. Sharon brings a bottle to Gus and Juley's flat, for Ruby, as a flatwarming present. As she is leaving, she bumps into Johnny, who has come to apologise. He looks annoyed that she knows. Outside, he accosts Sharon and tells her to keep her nose out of his daughter's business. Sharon is surprised, and Dennis is angry when he sees Johnny walking off after talking to her and asks what Johnny said. Phil gives Juley cash to treat her at Xmas. Later, Johnny tells Juley to ring Ruby and tell her he can't make it - he doesn't feel up to it. Jules objects, and Johnny makes it clear that if he doesn't make the excuse, it won't be just an excuse.

Billy has bought Honey a horrendous jumper, and they mention that this is their day to celebrate Xmas. They kiss as she goes off to her pre-planned Xmas. Little Mo invites Billy to the Slaters' house, for Xmas lunch. He says sorry, he is having dinner here with the rest of the Mitchells.

Alfie goes to the races, acting out Nana's last wish. Kat follows him, and dresses up, including wearing Nana's new hat. Alfie is a bit offhand at first but Kat soon cheers him up. He has to choose a winner for Nana, and he picks "Mr Moonlight" to bet the 530 quid that Nana told him. It's 33-1 so predictably, it loses, although it came close and Alfie was really excited for a while. He tells Kat that now he realises it was all about the excitement. He shows her his last dream - to ride route 66 on a motor bike, through Tupelo and Amarillo. He says there's nothing to stop him now, is there, but then says it's just dreams. Kat shows him the letter Nana left her - asking her to make sure Alfie is happy. She says he should go.

Gus rounds up (drunken) carol singers dressed as Santas to help him collect cash for his dog. Phil tells Jules to get on with his job, since he has been paid, and Jules drops the cash into the bucket collecting for Well'ard, and Gus is delighted when he looks at it.

Dawn chats up Jake again, and he mentions his lost cash. Darren and Demi look guilty and realise where their found money came from.

Johnny arrives in the Vic, and Jules disappears. Dennis confronts Johnny, and asks if he is trying to scare Jules off, like he tried to do with Sharon, and Dennis says he isn't scared of Johnny.

Martin goes to see Sonia to ask exactly where he stands. She accepts his invitation to meet at the Vic, but doesn't show up. He goes round to bang on the door and shout at her. He finds her at Pauline's, packing all her things and moving "home" to Dot and Jim's house. He is annoyed that she calls it home, and throws her Xmas present at her. They dredge up the same old arguments again, she tells him that she wants him to see life beyond the square. He thinks she is making fun of him, and says she thinks her books make her better than him - but he paid for them. He says he might be stupid, but he won't be made a fool of any more. He holds her books over the fire, and she says if he does that, it's over. He drops the books in, and just as she is telling him it's over, she won't come back to him, Pauline and Joe arrive with Rebecca, and Pauline says she is staying for Xmas. Sonia realises she has seriously messed up and looks upset to be missing out on this.

Sun 25 Dec 2005

Alfie cleans his new car and gets ready to leave. Little Mo asks Kat why she isn't packing to go with him. Mo keeps on pestering her. Jake pesters Alfie similarly saying that Kat will be heartbroken that he's gone.

Johnny visits Ruby, who says she won't come back until Johnny apologises and accepts Jules.

Sonia has slept on the sofa at Pauline's and makes an excuse to Rebecca. Martin has a go at Pauline about Rebecca, and says his marriage is over, and Pauline says that if he says sorry, it'll all be fine. She goes to the swings and whines at Jim that her marriage is over. She returns to the house where there is a lot of awkward silence. Sonia and Martin go outside to argue loudly. They scream at each other and Dot comes out to tell them that Rebecca can hear them. Dot says if they are going to pretend, they need to pretend a bit harder, otherwise don't bother, but work out what they are doing now. They play charades at Pauline's.

Rosie cleans the Vic and Keith whines that the kids are waiting. Dawn wants to invite Jake round and Darren says they can't, and looks guilty and shifty. He and Demi lie about the cost of the expensive presents they bought for everyone. Alfie notices the cufflinks and Keith says they are knockoffs, and Alfie has a quiet word with Darren, asking if he stole them, and he asks how does a kid like you find that sort of cash? Then he realises, and asks if Darren has been going through any bins lately, and found anything? Darren's reaction makes it rather obvious that Alfie is right.

Alfie goes to give Kat her Xmas gift and Old Mo asks her to go somewhere, so Alfie offers to give her a lift. He tells her that he won't be at the big leaving party that Peggy has arranged for him in the Vic tonight. Kat says she knew he wouldn't be. They pick up the "bird" Mo ordered, which is a live parrot-type thing. Alfie and Kat arrange to meet again in half an hour to say goodbye properly. Little Mo reminds her that she deserves a happy ending, and Kat finally decides to pack a few things. She waits outside for Alfie, who says goodbye to Jake. She gives him his present and waits expectantly for him to invite her to come with him. He hesitates, but doesn't, and Kat stands in the street and wails and cries "don't go without me" after him. Little Mo apologises to her for raising her hopes.

Sharon is ill (morning sickness, obviously) and Dennis thinks she has a hangover. Sharon insists it's not just a hangover, and she blames food poisoning, and rummages around the bin and finds a packet that has a sell by date of Dec 22nd. Dennis sighs but says that he is fine, so the food wasn't off, however, he gives in and takes her to hospital, where casualty is full of annoying drunks. Dennis apologises again. Sharon has some tests done, and is certain that there is something seriously wrong with her, and wants to leave before the results come back. She faints as she walks away from the bed. The nurse asks if she has had a history of epilepsy or any fits before. They wait together, and Dennis is really worried about her and they discuss what if it's really bad news? Sharon says she loves him and they kiss. The nurse comes back and invites Dennis to go outside for a bit.

Phil tries to call Ben and discovers their number has been disconnected. He goes round to Ian's and Ian says Kathy has moved house, and he refuses to give Phil the new number. Billy is annoying Phil, by going on and on about Honey. Peggy comes in to ask him about Ben, and Phil says there was no answer. He goes to open up. Peggy says Jake called to tell her Alfie has just left.

At the scum family house, Dawn's real father turns up on the doorstep unexpectedly. Dawn invites him to stay for dinner. Mike notices that Rosie is still wearing the necklace he gave her. Keith needles Mike, saying that Rosie is expert at looking after her man. Darren is very irritating and continually asks personal questions about Rosie and Mike and why she married him but not Keith. Mike has presents for everyone and insists on helping Rosie clear up. Dawn points out (to Keith) that Rosie has been in the kitchen working all day. Keith says "yes, you're right, kids, help her" as he goes to slob out in front of the TV with his beer. Dawn is exasperated. Mike is here to visit his mother in hospital, and Dawn asks to go with him.

At Pauline's, Jim mentions the Vic is open now, and moans until Dot lets him go. Martin goes with him, and Joe as well. Pauline says he should invite Sonia, and Martin says sulkily that he doesn't have to, he knows she doesn't want to go. Jim goes to get some drinks and Joe has a word with Martin, saying that he is behaving like a kid, and his mother went to a lot of effort for Xmas, and he has been childish and petulant all day. Martin leaves the Vic in a huff and Joe suggests he goes home and slams the bedroom door. Martin whines to Pauline, who says it's about time that someone told him off. He apologises to Sonia.

Sharon comes out of the hospital weakly, and meets Dennis, and she says one of the tests came back positive. Dennis looks terrified and upset, and says whatever it is they will deal with it. She hesitates a while, and makes him wait for ages looking desperate, then she tells him she's pregnant. He is thoroughly relieved, and practically speechless, but obviously delighted. She says she made them check twice, because she thought...

In the Vic Joe explains why Martin left and Jim wishes him luck, especially when Pauline arrives. Jim makes himself scarce! Pauline tells Joe what he said was fine, and asks for a drink. Honey arrives in the Vic for Billy, who is delighted to see her. Kat gets totally drunk and sluttily throws herself at every man in the pub then she whines screechily at Mo. She screeches so loudly that everyone in the pub falls silent and looks at her wailing about her horrible life. She goes to the toilets and cleans herself up, then goes home. As she walks out of the Vic, it's snowing, and outside is Alfie. She is delighted, and Alfie says he came back because he forgot something - the most important thing. Kat tells him not to say it if he doesn抰 mean it, and he sweeps her off her feet and takes her to the old Ford Capri.

Everyone in the Vic comes outside to play in the snow.

Mon 26 Dec 2005

Johnny throws out all his Xmas food and drink. Ruby and Juley chat about it. She goes round to see him and sees the box of Xmas groceries on the step. She moans that he didn't come to the Vic to see her. He is sulky. She asks him to meet her halfway with Juley, and leaves because he won't. He gives her her Xmas gift, and says when she has come to her senses, she know where he'll be.

Old Mo is a bit miserable that Kat has left. Stacey will be working her stall.

Dawn tells Rosie about her visit to her gran, and Rosie visits her ex-mother-in-law later. Mike arrives and makes a sarcastic comment about keeping secrets from her husband. He drives her home and tells Rosie he wants to make up for the past, and he won't let anyone down - he swears on his life. Rosie tells him she might believe it if he swore on something worth a bit more.

Sharon asks Dennis to have a "flatwarming" party - she wants to celebrate even if she can't tell everyone why. He isn't particularly enthusiastic but agrees. They happily wander around the square holding hands, and tell anyone they meet about the party tonight - Stacey being the first, and she spreads the news. Stacey gets the turkey that Old Mo left in the bathtub yesterday, and cooks it to take to the party. She picks up six unopened wine bottles from outside Johnny's house.

Phil asks Jules about his lodger. Jules says he wants out of Phil's plan: Ruby is staying because he wants her to, and he isn't listening to her.

Sharon asks Dennis what's wrong, because he's really quiet, and he says it's just taking some getting used to. Sharon says that makes it sound like bad news, it will turn their life around. Dennis says it's not his life he is worried about it's the child - he doesn't have a good record with fathers, he doesn't know what to do, and what if he does it wrong? She reassures him that all new parents feel like that.

At the Vic, Johnny buys Ruby and Jules a drink, and Dot and Jim arrive. They discuss the party and Johnny says he isn't invited. They say everyone is, and perhaps they can bury the hatchet. Johnny says the only place Dennis wants to bury the hatchet is in the back of his head. However, he agrees to go to the party. Dennis looks very unhappy with the arrival but Sharon says everyone is welcome, although she looks worried and unsure.

Ruby and Jules start to dance, along with everyone else, and Johnny watches looking annoyed. Stacey starts to talk to him, and he tells her to go and play on the motorway. Charlie and Old Mo intervene, and he goes to get food and she pushes him over. He falls on the table, and Stacey laughs. He looks furious and most people look concerned. He starts to rant about Jules being scum, and calls him "boy". Jules asks if he is making any point, and Dennis says right, that's it, it's time to leave. Johnny replies, sounding very irritated, "are you telling me what to do - a cheap little runt like you?" Dennis replies, "no I'm throwing you out." Johnny leaves, and Sharon tells Dennis to leave it, and Dennis says that man needs to be taught some manners. He follows Johnny out into the street and says he did him a favour last week, because of his daughter, and he didn't want her to know what he was like, but you can't save people from themselves. He tells Johnny he's a loser and now even his daughter knows it, and he pities him. Johnny is furious, and says no-one pities him. Dennis smirks and replies "what are you going to do about it?" Johnny walks off looking grim.

Tue 27 Dec 2005

Sharon and Dennis come back from their first scan and are deliriously happy. Dennis is dying to tell everyone but Sharon wants to wait.

Jules makes Ruby breakfast in bed, and she says her father was racist last night. He turns up at the door, with the first box of her things and says he will put the rest of her things outside his door.

The vile scum family argue about the revolting tip that is their house, and the smelly perfume that Mike bought Dawn. Darren steals it to throw it away. Rosie screeches at them to tidy up, including Darren's room, where he has carelessly shoved the bag of money in a drawer under his bed. When he gets home, he finds the money has gone, and he assumes his mother found it, and almost confesses, but then discovers they are talking about him taking the vile perfume. He asks Demi, and they realise it's Dawn. He confronts her, and she says thanks - if he hadn't stolen her perfume, she wouldn't have gone looking for it - so now they split the cash three ways. They says it's Jake's but they found it and Dawn says finder's keepers, it's theirs now. Rosie visits her mother-in-law again, and she tells her that Mike has only ever cared about himself.

Elsewhere, Dawn gets a job at the Vic. Pat is back from holiday.

Jules moans at Phil that he doesn't want to do the job any more, and Phil says he wants his money back then - all of it. He goes to steal the money from Gus's Well'ard fund, and is caught red-handed. He has to explain everything to Gus - that Phil paid him to sleep with Ruby, but now he loves her. Gus lets Jules keep the money, although he had just collected enough to see Well'ard. Jules hands back all the cash to Phil, who is very annoyed. Peggy happens to see Phil as he grabs Jules by the lapels, and they quickly pretend nothing is going on.

Jake is on Alfie's stall and chats to Stacey, who is on Kat's. Stacey has a huge hangover, and at lunchtime in the Vic, Patrick starts a book on how long she will last on the stall. Jim bets on 3pm, and then goes round to hassle Stacey trying to piss her off so that she will leave the stall. Jake tips her off about what he is trying to do. She goes into the Vic after a full day, and Jake collects his winnings and splits it with her.

In the cafe, Ian tells Sharon that Johnny is a maniac, and he walks in behind Ian as he is whining. Sharon apologises to Johnny about Dennis last night, and he says ominously that he will sort it out with Dennis. Meanwhile, Dennis helps Ruby carry all her boxes, and tells her not to worry, and even if he is her father, he's not worth it. Johnny watches him talking to Ruby, and looks furious. Ruby goes to talk to Johnny and he tells her coldly that he wants her keys back and she can close the door on her way out.

In the Vic, Sharon and Dennis arrive and Peggy offers Dennis advice. He says he doesn't really want her advice, but grins that he's sure she will give it to him anyhow. She advises Dennis to keep away from Johnny. Phil says he's not frightened of an old man like Johnny is he? Dennis grins what do you think? Johnny walks in and there is silence and Dennis faces him, and taunts him, asking if he has any more of Ruby's things to throw out into the street. Johnny says a bar-room brawl isn't his style, and turns around and leaves. Pat asks Peggy what is going on.

At home, Sharon asks Dennis not to get involved, but he says that he was helping Ruby, and he can't just ignore Johnny's behaviour. She says it's not his fight and she doesn't want to start a feud with Johnny. Dennis replies flippantly, "why not, it might be character-building?" She says it's dangerous, and please promise her to try to avoid Johnny in future. Dennis sighs and promises, not very seriously.

Pat arrives to chat to Johnny, and Johnny asks why everyone is interfering. Pat says Peggy told her, and says he needs to sort it out with Ruby, and it's nothing to do with Dennis - leave him out of it. Johnny says Dennis seems to have forgotten who he's dealing with, like everyone around here, and he needs a reminder. Pat looks very worried about Dennis. She goes to tell Sharon that she has seen Johnny, and she says that there is no telling what might happen if Dennis doesn't back off. Pat is very firm, and tells Sharon the she mustn't wind Johnny up even more. Sharon goes to tell Johnny that whatever he was planning, forget it. She says she has had a word with Dennis and they will just keep out of his way. Johnny says, but that will only be until next time Dennis wants to make a fool of him. Sharon starts to argue and calls him pathetic and says he is a bullying his own daughter, does he really expect her to take him seriously. Johnny grabs her by the throat and pushes her against the wall to make his point. He says that the last person who didn't take him seriously was Andy Hunter, and look what happened to him. She struggles a bit and gasps at him to stop because she is pregnant. Johnny says in that case, they have until the end of the year to be out of Walford, or her kid will grow up without a father.

Wed 28 Dec 2005

Darren tells Dawn to be careful spending the money, and she says she's off to get designer gear, not spend it around here. Demi and Darren moan about her to each other, and Darren says Jake will find out and make them give the money back. Mike arrives and apologises to Rosie for being a bad father to Dawn. He invites Dawn out to lunch.

It's Pat's birthday, and Yolande finds out and tells people.

Sharon wakes up and Dennis isn't in bed, and she panics. He says he's going out - but he won't tell her why, it's a surprise. He leaves before she can stop him.

Sharon buys ginger biscuits in the Minute Mart and dashes out when Johnny comes in. She goes to see at and tells her what Johnny said and Pat says that she'll be upset to see them go, but she has never known Johnny make empty threats and they have no ties, so Sharon has a new life ahead of her. Pat adds that she is very worried for Dennis. Sharon sees Johnny in the square and he reminds her that she and Dennis needs to be gone by tomorrow night, New Year's Eve. She is tearful and Phil sees her and invites her in and asks what is wrong. She says it's nothing, and Phil says 'how long have we known each other?' Sharon says Johnny has threatened to kill Dennis. Phil says he's all talk, and Sharon says no, he killed Andy Hunter. She explains what Johnny did, and Phil says he is only doing that because he's afraid to confront Dennis. Sharon starts crying and says she can't tell Dennis. Phil starts blustering, and says he will take him on with Dennis, and someone has to teach Johnny a lesson, they can sort it out - leave it all to them now. Sharon says no, and begs Phil not to say anything about all of this. Phil wonders how she will convince Dennis to leave by tomorrow.

Ruby is upset that her father is ignoring her. Stacey says he is just manipulating her. Phil sees Ruby crying and taunts Jules that he's done a great job for him, for free. Jules goes to see Johnny, who is impatient. Jules says Ruby is crying, and she is really hurting and she will never be really happy if she has lost him. He says even though he hates Johnny, he is prepared to put aside all the threats, all Johnny's evil comments, and forget all the snide remarks, just to make Ruby happy. Johnny tells him to leave.

At the thieving scum household, Mike arrives with Dawn, and she invites him to stay for tea. Rosie says they are only having beans and mash. Mike immediately offers to peel the potatoes and Rosie says she will do that. Mike says no, she shouldn't have to; he will rope in some help. Lazy Keith hastily says his favourite TV programme is about to start. Mike tells Demi that she works hard enough looking after Aleesha, and that leaves Darren. Mike helps serve the food. Keith sits there ungratefully, and asks for salt, and Rosie gets up, but Mike jumps up to get it.

Ian has a meeting with a journalist in the cafe, and tells her all about Well'ard attacking him, and she goes to ask Gus about the story too. Gus is miserable because Jules took the money he had collected to see Well'ard.

Sharon is upset that Dennis was out all day - and he shows her various details of larger flats he was looking at. She quickly says that she doesn't want to live around here. Dennis is totally amazed and can't believe it. He says that she always comes back here, she belongs here. She says he doesn't like living here, and he says he wants her to be happy. She suddenly says that she wants to go to America to see Vicki. She says it's New Year's Eve, and she is desperate to see her family now that she is pregnant. She waffles a bit and Dennis eventually says he doesn抰 believe her, there is something else. Sharon desperately tries to step up her argument. She says she has no-one here, and it's not like family, and Vicki is the only blood relative she has, what if something happened to them? Dennis says nothing is going to happen to them, and they have ages to do this - why the hurry to do it tomorrow? She comes to kneel by his chair and begs some more. Dennis sighs and says he supposes he will have to phone around for last minute tickets. Sharon is delighted.

Thu 29 Dec 2005

Dot invites Sharon and Ian to Pauline's for New Year's Eve. She tells Jayne, who is surprised and not pleased. Dennis just grins as he hears the news.

Sharon and Dennis chat about winter and New Year's Eve, and he asks her if she's OK about leaving before midnight today.

They chat about winter and Dennis says he likes icicles, but isn't mad on snow. She says he's an ice man then. He says jokingly "until I met you, then I melted". He tells Sharon a story about when he fell through a frozen pond playing football, and he tried to climb out but each bit of ice he grabbed broke off, and that was the scariest part, that everything you thought was solid wasn't. Sharon looks over at him worriedly. Dennis asks her what's wrong and she says it was the thought of him in danger. Dennis laughs "I'm invincible, me." She tells him not to joke about it.

Dennis says it felt right today, like it was all over, an ending, and he thought that moving away from here would be great. He says he's totally up for moving away, and making a new start. He loves her and would live in an igloo to be with her.

The paper comes out and the interview with Gus is in it - where he slates Ian regarding Well'ard. Gus buys all the copies of the paper, and worries that he has made it ten times worse.

Johnny invites Jules and Ruby for an Indian meal and early celebration of the New Year. Sharon walks into the cafe and tells Johnny that they are leaving tonight. Johnny gloats, and she says their cab is booked for 9pm. Phil comes in and asks her what Johnny said. He asks her if she is staying and she lies that she is. Dennis tells Pat, but says that no-one must know until after they have gone. Dennis offers her first refusal of the bookies, and Pat almost gives the game away as she says she thinks he's doing the right thing - Andy hung around here too long. Sharon tells Pauline that she's leaving tonight. Pauline asks how long she will be gone, and Sharon says it may be permanent. Pauline asks suspiciously if Dennis is in trouble with the law. Sharon says no, but being round here can't give her what Denis can - true love, a soulmate. Pauline says she's lying, and what's the real story. Sharon says she's pregnant and shows her the scan, adding that she's three months pregnant and couldn't believe it herself, as she had given up hoping.

Jayne confronts Ian, who says it's a family time, and Jayne says Phil deserves to talk to his family too - give him the number. Ian does, grudgingly, and Johnny overhears and asks Ian if Ben is his kid. Ian says yes. Phil makes the call, and leaves a message on their answering machine. Johnny eavesdrops when Phil talks to Peggy about it. He interrupts and makes snide remarks. Phil tells Johnny that people around here are ready to bring him down. Johnny laughs - like who? Phil names Dennis and Johnny says he's leaving at 9pm tonight - if he doesn't believe him, ask Sharon. Phil goes to talk to Dennis and Sharon tries to stop him. She says she doesn't care about Johnny and his old feud, and begs him to leave Dennis alone, and let them have a life.

The party at Pauline's is quiet and dull, and Jim asks how many hours until midnight. Jayne says miserably "five".

Phil has a lonely meal at the Indian, and they give him a pint of lager by mistake. Johnny arrives and has a go at Phil about Ben. Johnny talks loudly to Ruby about Phil missing the call from his child. Phil dials a ringtone, and pretends to be talking to Ben. Johnny asks Jules if he has Phil's number, and rings it, and the phone goes off while Phil is pretending to talk to him. Johnny laughs triumphantly and Phil is totally humiliated as Johnny shouts across the restaurant "give my love to your imaginary son". Ruby doesn't think it's funny. Phil is furious and goes outside and kicks some dustbins.

Dennis closes up the bookies one last time. He goes home with a small bunch of flowers and he talks to Sharon about Andy, saying he wishes Andy could see him now; married with a kid, it would have really got to him [in a good way]. Sharon says Dennis really wanted to save him didn't he? He says this is going to sound really strange, but it feels like he's been underwater his whole life, trying to get to the surface, and then when he heard they were going to be a family, it was like the sun on his face and like he was breathing for the first time. Sharon kisses him and says she loves him, and see, he can be soppy sometimes. The cab beeps outside.

Ian stops Sharon and Dennis's cab, and says they have to go to Pauline's, she can't leave now. Dennis says OK, and pays and asks the cab to come back in an hour, and they go to Pauline's for a bit. Phil stops Dennis as he is picking up the bags, and says they need to go back to his flat, and he will tell him something that will change everything.

Fri 30 Dec 2005

At Dennis's place, he impatiently tells Phil to say what he has to. Phil explains a little, saying Johnny has to be sorted for what he did. Dennis says OK, he will do it tomorrow, and tonight's important, he will remember it for a long time. Phil says very funny: he knows Dennis is leaving tonight, but he concealed it. Dennis says (a) it's none of his business, and (b) the reason he didn't tell him was that he didn't want Phil coming over to beg Sharon to stay - since she's the only friend Phil's got.

Dennis tells Phil a story about the arcade game "Mr Do" which he played in Brighton. He says it was a bit of a girl's game digging tunnels and collecting cherries [true, I was pretty good at it at college]. He said every now and again this star would appear [actually, it was supposed to be a sparkling diamond] and when the star appeared you got another go [a whole credit of another game, actually]. Dennis says "Brighton was pretty depressing in the winter, but when the star turned up it made me happy." Phil replies sarcastically, "well, you're easily pleased, aren't you?" Dennis continues that all his life he has been looking for a real star, boxing, girls, Dalton, but they weren't it. Phil impatiently interrupts "and then you met Sharon." Dennis laughs and says sarcastically "no Phil, then I met you, you know I've always had a soft spot for you." Phil sighs that Dennis thinks he's hilarious. Dennis says "it's the last time we're going to see each other, can't we at least have a laugh." Phil starts his speech, saying "So you think it's Sharon, well, I think that you want it too much you were looking for a way out, you have decided it's Sharon and you're making the feelings fit." Dennis disagrees. Phil says "you really think you've changed, but you are looking away from the person you really are. From the little boy in the home who saw all the nasty things that could hurt him, and swore not to join in any more.  You weren't out with your mates, you were playing games in the arcades alone - what does that tell you." Dennis says he won't answer, as that would be rising to the bait and he doesn't do that any more. He adds that it wasn't easy to change, but he was lucky. Dennis dismisses Phil's comments, saying "You can think what you like, but the star came, you had it once and let it go, so I guess I'm the lucky one who gets another chance at life." [hmm heavy irony]. His mobile rings, it's Sharon and he says he's on his way, and moves to the door. He holds out his hand to shake with Phil, who ignores it. Phil starts another tack, saying "what about Andy Hunter - would you say he was like a brother? If someone murdered Grant, I wouldn't walk away, but that's just me.  That is the reason I wanted to talk to you, about how Johnny murdered Andy.  Dennis is irritated and asks Phil what he wants from him, and why he can't just do it himself. Phil says he is giving Dennis the option to do it, doesn't he want to confront Johnny about murdering his best mate?  Dennis gets really annoyed, and says he may have done once, but not any more - and Phil pushes and prods like his old man, but he doesn't have the finesse, and Dennis says he won't rise to it any more, and you can whisper about how I've let down my friend, but Andy was responsible for himself, he抯 dead, just like Den, Dalton, and they all deserved to die, and if Phil thinks he'll add Johnny to that list, he's got another think coming.  Dennis says he won't do what anyone wants him to, and says "my life isn't about looking back any more, and when I'm in the cab, you and all of the other pathetic men around here will be photos in an album."

Phil triumphantly says that Dennis is doing exactly what Johnny told him to, and Sharon will always know that she lied to make him leave. Johnny threatened to kill him if he wasn't out of here by midnight. Dennis laughs and doesn't believe it, but then Phil says Sharon came to him for advice. Dennis is really upset and can't believe she went to Phil and not him. Phil says he told her to tell Dennis, and let him sort it, but she said Dennis would go mental and there was too much at stake. Phil says he didn't think Sharon could sell Dennis the lie, and didn't he get the least bit suspicious that they suddenly had to leave by midnight? Phil says Sharon sold him on doing exactly what Johnny told him to. Johnny threatened his life and now he says go, and you just do what he says. Dennis resists the goading, and says Phil is just trying to get him to do his dirty work because he's miserable and everyone else is happy. Dennis astutely asks what did Johnny do to him tonight to upset him? He says I'm not a puppet, not yours, Den's, anybody's, this is my life, I make my own decisions.

Phil grabs him by the throat and says that's not nice is it - it's even worse when it's your wife's. Sharon's a game girl, she wouldn't leave without putting up a fight, so Johnny had to make her. Dennis says that's not his style, and Phil says it is now. Dennis storms out and walks across the square then he stops in the middle choosing which way to go - towards Johnny's or Pauline's. Phil follows him and when Dennis goes towards Pauline's, asks where he thinks he is going. Dennis says he is going to Sharon. Phil keeps on goading him, saying he is just trying to prove a point - just do Johnny and leave, end of story. Dennis says he can't. Phil laughs, and says that doesn't feel right, saying that, does it? Phil says Dennis is just like him. Dennis says he has changed and Phil says no, deep in his soul he knows it's true. Walk away, and it will eat away at you for 50 years, tainting any chance of happiness he might have - the one thing he should have done but never did. Phil follows Dennis and rather melodramatically he repeats twice, in a husky voice "'e had 'is 'and on your wife's throat, Dennis." Dennis arrives at Pauline's and Sharon rushes to hug him. Phil paces around outside. The "party" continues awkwardly in Pauline's, as Dennis is silently brooding, and he takes Sharon's hand and holds it in both of his. The chatter continues, and he pours himself several large vodkas. Martin notices and says "know how you feel, mate". Dennis says "you don't". Sharon asks if Dennis is OK, and then Jim proposes a toast to Sharon and Dennis. Dennis storms out and stands in the kitchen.

Dot follows him and they talk in depth. She says he doesn't look happy and he says he's OK, so she says she'll leave him be, then. Dennis says no, and asks her what she saw in him when everyone was turning against him - he never gave her much. Dot says he gave her a second chance, all the mistakes she made with Nick and Charlie. He says so he was just Nick the second. She says no, of course not, but she wouldn't have minded a son like him. Her life was empty and cruel, without love. Dennis says with surprise, and then you met me, Mr happy-go-lucky?! She says he was a lost soul, like her, a lamb in the darkness, searching for love, but he always had hope. Dennis asks about forgiveness. What about forgetting, about the people who have hurt the ones you love. Dot says forgiving stops you hurting, and asks what is it that's troubling him? Dennis says it feels like Walford is over and done with but it keeps pulling him back. When he came back and Den was gone, he felt cheated, he wanted to show him that nothing could ever come between us, and he wants that moment now. Dot says some things have to be left unsaid. Dennis says not things like this, they have to be heard. Sharon walks in and asks if he is ready to go, she wants to be out by midnight. Dennis says pointedly, why, what happens at midnight. She shrugs, and Dennis looks really sad. He goes outside to phone the cab and Sharon stops him, saying do it in here, and Dennis again asks why, and she says quickly, and looking scared, that she wants to be with him. Dennis says "not because you're scared?" Sharon says "why would I be scared", Dennis says "you tell me". [hmm, she must have guessed he knows by now]. She says she's fine. Dennis looks even more sad and kisses her gently on the neck and says he will go outside to call the cab. Sharon lets him go.

He tells the cab to come back in an hour: there is something he needs to do. He strides off purposefully. Phil watches him and pops over to see Sharon. He says someone has taken their cab, and Dennis has gone to get another one. At the party they all decide to go to the Vic, and they all say it's only for a few minutes. She is nervous and worried. Phil is smiling and Sharon asks why, but he doesn't explain.

Dennis goes to Johnny's club and gets another vodka (although he still isn't noticeably affected by the drink). He walks into Johnny's office. Johnny asks him pointedly what time he has. Dennis asks if he played it that innocently when he killed Andy? Johnny says someone's been talking - did Sharon flip? Dennis says Phil told him. Johnny turns to get him a drink, saying he is glad Dennis dropped by.... and Dennis smashes his head down on top of the heavy crystal glasses and decanter on the counter. He punches him a few times and then holds his throat, asking how he likes it.

In the Vic, Sharon is chatting to everyone, and Phil tries to distract her by whittering on about Ben.

In the club Dennis is sitting there vacantly/psychotically with blood all over his knuckles, and some on his face, and Johnny is lying on the floor, battered. Johnny whines and moans, begging. Dennis asks him why he did it. Johnny moans a bit and Dennis tells him he is talking so it can't be that bad, and shut up. Dennis says (to himself, really) that he so wanted to walk away from this place, and he's done some sick things to some sick people, but no more, this is the last. Johnny says he is dying, please, and says Dennis doesn't want this on his conscience. Dennis replies that he won't give it a second's thought. From the floor, covered in blood, Johnny whines please, for my daughter's sake, don't let her lose her Dad. Dennis looks around and leaves a mobile phone and says "if he can reach that, you live, if not then "he" must want you for a sunbeam." He leaves the club [although, strangely, we don't see him wandering through the crowds of revellers with blood all over his hands].

Phil holds a cab for Sharon and Dennis. Then he goes to the club and looks around. The mobile phone is in Johnny's hand. Phil takes the tape from the CCTV system and leaves Johnny there on the floor, no longer moaning so apparently either dead or unconscious.

Sharon is worried about Dennis, wondering where he is, as it's two minutes to midnight. Dennis sneaks back into Pauline's and washes his hands. Sonia finds him, as she has stayed with Rebecca. She tells Rebecca to say goodbye to uncle Dennis. Rebecca obediently runs over to hug him and Dennis says in amazement she doesn't even know him. Sonia says that she believes kids know good people instinctively. Dennis hugs Rebecca and says emotionally that she's gorgeous. Sonia says Rebecca's her little star. Dennis looks touched by the reference.

Garry urges everyone to come outside the Vic for fireworks, which he has a bit of trouble lighting in time for midnight.

Outside, Sharon is worried as they countdown 5 seconds to midnight, and then she sees Dennis across the square. He looks over to her and smiles, and a man in a black hooded top walks towards him, bumping hard into Dennis's chest. The fireworks go off for midnight, and Dennis's face is blank as he takes another step forward and puts his hand to his chest, where he has been stabbed through the heart. He collapses to his knees in front of Sharon, and falls to the ground, and she kneels down. He puts his hand on her stomach and says "we did it" with his last breath. Sharon shouts and sobs "Dennis don't you leave me, nooooooooo".